PARENT SEEKS ADVICE ON BANISHING DAUGHTER'S IMAGINARY FRIEND

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Parent Says They 'Didn't Sign Up' for Second Kid. Now, They're Trying to 'Banish' the New Addition

By Kayla Grant  Published on October 8, 2025 07:00AM EDT

 

A parent is asking for advice on how to "banish" their 4-year-old daughter's imaginary friend.

 

In a post on the parenting subreddit, the original poster (OP) shared that their 4-year-old daughter has an imaginary friend that's "so real to her" that OP feels like they "have two kids." The parent explained that the existence of the imaginary friend was "cute," at first, as the toddler would spend hours "going on pretend adventures."

 

"I loved watching her imagination work during play time," they wrote. "However, over the past few weeks, the imaginary friend is popping up all throughout the day and I've been increasingly expecting to interact with this imaginary friend, treat it like it's a second child, and make actual physical space for it, even when it's not possible or appropriate."

 

They added, "When I don't or can't, it's just a meltdown every time."

 

OP went on to give an example of one of their daughter's recent meltdowns. They shared a few days ago they were loading groceries into the car, when they placed a few bags on the back seat next to their daughter's carseat.

 

"Immediate screaming 'THAT'S [IMAGINARY FRIEND'S] SEAT! YOU'RE CRUSHING HER!' " they wrote of their daughter's reaction. "Normally, I would just take the path of least resistance and move the bags, but this was, literally, the only available space in car."

 

"So I tried to be empathetic, acknowledge her feelings, explain why I couldn't move the bags and move on. Nope, not having it, hysterical meltdown the whole way home," they added. "This is just one example, but things like this have been happening with increasing frequency and my daughter is having more tantrums over this stupid imaginary friend week by week."

 

The parent said that it feels like their daughter "randomly decides the friend is wherever we are, I'm magically supposed to know and behave as if I have two children with me." OP explained that they cannot remember to account for the imaginary second child most of the time.

 

"She expects me to prioritize this imaginary friend over everything else," they wrote. "I love that she has this great imagination, and I want to encourage it. However, this imaginary friend is driving me crazy!!"

 

OP went on to say that they've made multiple attempts to speak with their daughter when she's calm to explain that the imaginary friend is a "great play companion," but "doesn't take priority over the tasks we have to complete together." They shared that their attempts at gently explaining this have been unsuccessful.

 

They concluded their post asking fellow parents to help them figure out how to "banish" their 4-year-old's imaginary friend back to playtime without "crushing my kid." They added that they cannot continue to "deal with the daily, random appearances from this imaginary friend that derail the task at hand every time."

 

Many parents in the Reddit community went to the comments to share their thoughts about the situation and offer advice to OP. One commenter mentioned that their oldest child went through a similar phase when she was 5 years old, telling OP that it just "had to run its course."

 

"My oldest went through a phase like that when she was about five and honestly it just had to run its course," they wrote. "I used to get so frustrated because it felt like I was arguing with a ghost but what finally helped a bit was setting really calm predictable boundaries about where the friend could be part of things."

 

"Like the friend could come to playtime or story time but not in the car or at dinner," they added. "I didn’t make a big deal about it, just kept it consistent and didn’t feed the drama when she got upset. Over time the friend just sort of faded away once she had more real playmates and routines. It’s totally normal and it does pass even if it’s annoying as hell right now."

 

Another user suggested making up another story to keep their daughter's imagination alive, but offer put up boundaries in real life.

 

"My older brother had an 'imaginary friend,' who got very extreme. 'Francis' was the one who was doing all the bad behavior including threatening to cut our nanny's head off. Eventually my mom told my brother that Francis was going to jail," they wrote.

 

"Any time my brother brought him up they said, 'he couldn't do that because he's in jail,' " they added. "Maybe your daughter's imaginary friend goes on vacation? Or is playing somewhere else? Or has her own imaginary family that she does shopping with?"