Thursday, October 29, 2009

ONTARIO'S NEW CELL PHONE LAW

On Monday, a ban went into place in Ontario prohibiting drivers from using cell phones, blackberries and other things.

There's no question that using a cell phone or texting while driving is dangerous. However, we already have negligence laws to deal with this sort of thing. How many people don't know that talking on a cell phone while driving can hamper your ability to drive? Therefore, if you get into an accident, it is a matter of negligence. If you get into an accident and hurt or kill someone, it is a matter of criminal negligence. Same goes for all the other different laws they put in place.

This is really good acording to a lot of citizens the media have talked to. In fact, these bastards would see carrying on a conversation in a car banned if they could.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

ONTARIO TO IMPLEMENT FULL-DAY KINDERGARTEN BY 2015

Premier McGhinty announced yesterday that Ontario will have full-day kindergarten provincewide by 2015.

Parents are excited about this. They say it'll really help their children do well academically.

Plus, they'll be able to go back to work and make more money. Ah, now we get to the heart of the issue.

First, the only way a child develops a love of learning is if parents teach them things at home.

Second, when children enter grade 1, the ones who have been to daycare or full-day kindergarten are more advanced than their peers, but by grade 2 you can't tell the difference. Additionally, the ones who haven't been to daycare have more imagination and are better at problem-solving because they haven't had everything structured for them.

These parents say this move by the Ontario government will allow their children to get better jobs. Jobs doing what? What jobs do you see currently available?

There are two scenerios for the future: the classic New World Order scenerio where we're all in concentration camps; or the scenerio that some globalists have put forth where India handles all the technical jobs, Mexico handles all the manufacturing jobs and North America is "a service-based economy", which means the only jobs that will be available are flipping burgers or clerking in a store for minimum wage.

As I mentioned earlier, the heart of the issue is that this will allow mothers to go back to work and make more money. You're selling the love, nurturing and teaching of your children for a paycheck! You don't think we'll have to pay extra taxes to pay these teachers to work longer?

Women that want this are all a bunch of whores.

Monday, October 26, 2009

RANDY ORTON'S APARTMENT

The Ron James Show is truly awful, isn't it?

The Milky Way was not discovered by a cow.

Very rarely is the letter w in the French alphabet.

REST STOPS ALONG THE 401 CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS

Many of the service stations along Highway 401 have closed recently.

This is so that the government can renovate them before leasing them out to new owners.

This has frustrated many people, particularly when it comes to finding a washroom. Many people are outraged.

The question could logically be asked, why did the government give all these leases to companies to operate service stations when they knew they were all going to expire at the same time?

Typical government incompetence, you say.

However, there is more to it than government incompetence. The government is run by sociopaths. They feed off our frustration and enjoy our pain.

It's that simple, folks.

MUSIC FROM THE VATICAN

A couple weeks ago, a guy named Peter Ruppert emailed me. Ruppert is involved in a project called Music From The Vatican. The album he is responsible for is called Alma Mater and is dedicated to the virgin Mary.

The album incorporates styles of music from around the world, emphasizing how everyone should surrender their will to the pope.

Mary has no business being worshipped. At the wedding in Cana, Jesus said, "woman what have i to do with you" When the disciples told Jesus his mother and brothers were outside, he said that his family were the people who did his will.

The way Catholics act concerning Mary is just horrible. She was a woman who needed Jesus like everybody else. She doesn't intercede on behalf of the father for our prayers: Jesus does that.

If you're looking for a gift to get a Catholic this Christmas, get them a Bible. Then they'll read it and see how rediculous praying to Mary and all the Catholic church's other garbage doctrines are.

THE PRIESTS: AMAZING GRACE

A couple weeks ago a woman named Lucy emailed me with a link to a video of The Priests singing Amazing Grace.

The Priests are a classical music group from the UK. I'm assuming the group is made up of Catholic priests.

Personally, I found their rendering of this most classic of hymns staid. It was all about singing everything correctly and wasn't inspiring at all.

Also, the nerve a bunch of Catholic priests have to talk about grace. The Catholic church really does not have the concept of grace. Sure, God will save you, but you have to go to confession every Saturday and say the rosary and pray up a flight of steps. Even if you do all these things perfectly, you might still go to purgatory when you die for some past sins.

Watch the video by clicking the link above and decide for yourself whether it's inspiring or not.

Oh yeah, deciding things for yourself: also a concept which is absent in the Catholic church.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ZERO TO SIXTY

by Gary Paulsen. New York: Harcourt, Brace And Company, 1997.

The bestselling children's author purchases a Harley and drives from New Mexico to Alaska and back again. He finds that when he is riding the bike his thoughts drift. During the journey Paulsen recalls parts of his life, including the lessons he learned as a boy from a redneck cop, and playing poker with some of the roughest people you'd ever be likely to meet.

This book is compelling and gripping to a very high degree. Paulsen's award-winning writing is as wonderful as ever, and you find yourself having to put down the book after every chapter in order to digest the incidents Paulsen writes about.

Paulsen has lived one of the most interesting lives of anyone. A biopic should be made if there is not one already.

Be warned, though, this isn't Gary Paulsen's typical kid stuff. There is some very fowl language.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

DON'T LET'S GO TO THE DOGS TONIGHT

by Alexandra Fuller. New York: Random House, 2001.

This is a dreadfully fowl and repugnant book.

Fuller tells about her childhood in Africa, growing up with her alcoholic, white trash parents.

It's possible that Fuller might be using incredulity to dull the pain of her experiences, but it just comes off as a weird kind of celebration of the events.

And what they do to a Baptist preacher who comes to visit doesn't even bare telling!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

INTERVIEW WITH SHARON HAMPSON

The following is yet another thing I rescued from Geocities. The Elephant Show was one of my favourite shows as a child.

If the webmaster objects to me posting this interview, contact me and I will delete this post.

A Conversation with Sharon Hampson

A while back, I had the opportunity to have a phone conversation with Sharon Hampson, of Sharon, Lois & Bram. Before I say anything, I must thank Sharon
again. It was incredible getting to talk to one of the three performers who made my childhood so great.

Sharon, Lois & Bram have been known as role models for children all over North America. Knowing that, the first thing I discussed with Sharon was her role
models. Hampson told me that her musical role model was always Pete Seager, who was a folk singer with the group the Weavers. Not only was Seager a great
folk musician, but as she put it, "Seager has a high moral code and speaks about strong views."

Believe it or not, Sharon Hampson did not always want to be a singer. At a young age, Sharon wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher; however she always had
a love for music, as it was always a regular part of her family life. She has been working with kids since Grade 6, and simply combined her love of music,
with her love of kids, to get one of the greatest jobs someone could have!

Everyone knows of Sharon Hampson as one-third of the trio Sharon, Lois & Bram, but I always wondered how exactly they all met. When we discussed this topic,
Sharon stated that "We both got involved in each others activities." At the time, Sharon was involved in a folk festival known as "Mariposa in the Schools"
and Lois was involved in a library program known as "Music for Children." Both worked on each others projects, making a true friendship. Sharon knew Bram
from “teenage coffee house days," but he also participated in "Mariposa." Bram gained friendship with Sharon even more through her children, who knew Bram
as a music teacher.

At this point, all three were supposed to participate in a "Mariposa" album, but Bill Usher suggested that Sharon Hampson, Lois Lillienstein and Bram Morrison
should do an album together. This was the very beginning of Sharon, Lois & Bram. At the time of the recording of their 1978 album "One Elephant, Deux Elephants,"
it wasn't intended to be the trio's career, but because of albums huge response, Sharon, Lois & Bram continued to record, and continued to gain popularity.
As Sharon pointed out, making their first album took a lot. "Lots of planning and borrowing money before we could record the album in May of 1978."

We also talked about how the three were really not a trio yet at time of "One Elephant." They were three separate singers, who sang solo on many songs,
but as the years went on, they began to sing better as the group Sharon, Lois & Bram. As Sharon noted, when you put three totally unique voices together,
you're very lucky when you get such a great sound that the group had, and still have.

Eric Nagler was always a major role in "Sharon, Lois & Bram's Elephant Show." He was seen in every episode, and played at most of the groups concerts around
the time of the show. I discussed with Sharon how they met Eric. As she quotes, "We always knew Eric from the folkie scene." As the group was brainstorming
for ideas for the show, Eric was mentioned, and that's about it. He was always a great folk artist, and another person who had a love for children.

At this point in our phone conversation, Sharon told me a story about the origin of "The Elephant Show." Arnie Zipursky and Bruce Glawson, who were right
out of film school, both knew the group through their nieces and nephews. They wanted to do a TV show with the group, and Zipursky and Glawson seemed to
be the only two who came through with money and truly were interested. A special was created for the CBC network called "Live at Young People's Theatre,"
which was well-received, and which sparked the creation of Cambium Productions, and "The Elephant Show." In fact, clips from the Young People's Theatre
special can be seen on the pilot of the show, "Elephant's Doctor."

We then discussed how "The Elephant Show" was taped. Normally, the crew would go out and shoot the show in the summer. This is how all the outdoor segments
were always done, so it wouldn't be freezing cold during taping. As many people know, the show was shot around Toronto, which can get VERY COLD. The episodes
were then edited around fall, and preparation for the next season started around the next winter, while touring still occurred at this time not only promoting
the show, but their albums based on music from the show.

"The Elephant Show" lasted for 5 seasons of 13 episodes each. The show came to an end in 1988. I talked with Sharon about why the show actually came to
an end. As Sharon stated, "We were told that 65 episodes was the right number to do," and as viewers knew, every episode had an original story. That would
also be quite hard to keep up without repeating scenarios. 1988 was also the year that "The Elephant Show" came to the U.S. and aired on Nickelodeon, a
U.S. children’s cable network. The popularity of the show went through the roof, and although Sharon, Lois & Bram expected to take a breather after the
show ended, touring was more popular than ever! Tours expanded out of Canada and into many U.S. destinations, including Long Island, New York (at the Westbury
Music Fair) where I got the opportunity to see the trio.

As I commented, the thing about "Sharon, Lois & Bram's Elephant Show" is that it evolved so much between 1984 and 1988. In the beginning, the episodes
were about simple things like going on a Picnic, or to an Amusement Park. Towards the end, the episodes got more interesting, such as "Birth of the Show,"
an episode all about the fictional creation of "The Elephant Show" and "The Early Years," a fictional but very entertaining story about how Sharon, Lois
& Bram became Sharon, Lois & Bram.

As we talked more about the show, she told me that she feels that many think the show is dated. According to her, as true Sharon, Lois & Bram fans know,
how can a show so welcoming and sweet, about simple stories ever be dated? "Parents come in to a child watching Barney and run from the room, we created
a show that the whole family would enjoy." As Sharon said, the show was not a lot of "Razzamatazz," but it was a good quality show which all kids deserve
to grow up with.

There were so many songs sung on "The Elephant Show." Many cannot be heard on the albums that Sharon, Lois & Bram put out in stores. We talked about how
they picked songs to be placed on the albums. As Sharon noted, it was very difficult picking songs, but the group would simply go through all their songs,
look for good mixtures of different styles of song, and put them together on an album. One thing about the group and their albums is that they never "cheaped"
out on the number of songs on an album. They would always give the kids their money's worth. As Sharon quotes, "Taping the show was like going to camp.
We'd see everyone every summer, and during the other seasons we would hardly see the crew at all."

As it sounds from how Sharon puts it, her years spent taping "The Elephant Show" seem to be some of the greatest years of her life. Most recently, the
trio created another television show known as "Skinnamarink TV," and is now celebrating 25 years as Sharon, Lois & Bram.

Sharon, congratulations and thanks again for not only your time during our conversation, but for being one of the people that made my childhood so great.

Monday, October 19, 2009

DEGRASSI PERSONALS

The following are exerpts of something I rescued from Geocities. I managed to edit out MOST of the filthy parts.

DEGRASSI PERSONALS

Hi Im Alexa! Well, after my beautiful performance at Degrassi, I had to become an actress! Well, it didnt quite work out, and now all i do is work at a
local Value Village. Yes, I know, I cant stand being around dirty used clothes. But I do get free staind underwear, and bras! Not to mention used deodorant,
and broken condoms. Oh, and I got married to Simon! What a HUNK!

Hi. I'm BLT. I have Mulitple Sclerosis, Tubular Lungitis, and other such diseases. Well, thats all i have to say, although I went for the NBA, it never
worked out for me. I wish I was a stud. Look at my big lips! WOW They are HUMUNGOUS! I never realized.

Hey everybody, I'm Kaitlan, one of the only good looking people on the show. Well I htink so anyways. I cant beleive I went out with that dork Joey! He
is so inconsiderate! Well, if your wondering what Im doing now, I work for Greenpeace. Which reminds me, what did I ever see in tht loser Claude? What
an idiot! Can you beleive this guy? Ugh makes me sick! Yea, so I stand infront of hunters guns when theyre tryig to hunt deer. I got shot with a rifle
67 times, and got shoot with a harpoon, only about 8 or 9 times. Well, good day! Oh and, save the rainforest!

Hi/ Im Claude. Aint I a sexy bitchass? Well, I blew my brains out in the Degrassi series. Wow, that ended my career. Like it was going anywhere anyways!

Hi im Joey.I lie getting geaten up by big guys. By the way, this is my friend Dwayne. Be nice to him, he has HIV! Hes a decent guy though.

Hi. Im Lucy. The fun one who could never get a boyfriend! And when I did, they always turned out to be nerdy guys with glasses. They were really ugly eh?
Well anywasy, im doin my own little thang now, Im probably the most successful one out of the whole cast. I work for a big business. Im the CEO of Nabisco
Shredded Wheat. Isnt that fanstastic? I got married to Alex. You know that ugly kid who got totally shot down by Stephanie Kay, and that other dum broad
Tess? Well, yea I'm married to him!

Hey. Im Michelle. I got married to Snake shortly after the show. He's so cute. And he beat up BLT fo me.

Hey Im Spike, the only kool one in the show. Although I look like some sort of lizard in this picture...well, Emmas 11 years old now! Isnt that great? Shes
so great! I had a hard time bringin her up, shes in drugs and prostittion now, and i sent her to boot camp about 6 times already. That little brat.
RIP THE SYSTEM!.........? k cya.

Heeeeey buuuuuuuuuuuuudy! Im wheels! The kickenest guy in the world! YEA E YEA! Man, I rule everyone here! If it wasnt for my geeky face, then Degrassi
would of never made it! ZIT REMEDY RULES! YEA! I work at Money Mart currently. Yea, I make only about 7 bucks an hour. But what can I say?

DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION: EPISODE REVIEW

The first episode of Degrassi last night concerned Johnny taking nude photos of Ali. Since Ali and Claire are friends, you would think Ali would have learned about that sort of thing from Darcy's experience. That's the thing about Degrassi: the kids never learn; they only make bigger mistakes.

The second episode was about Johnny possibly giving Ali vd. The episode was basically an advertisement for the HPV vaccine. Girls, do not get that vaccine. It only protects against a couple of the one hundred strains of the virus, and not even the most prevalent ones. Google "Gardasil deaths."

444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

There was a story on Cbc Friday about Chinese people being superstitious about the number four. Apparently, in Cantonese the word for four is also the same word for death. Cities are giving people the option of replacing the four in their street address.

Will our bending over backward for these people never end? This is carrying acomodation too far. We live in Canada. Our numerical system goes
1234567890
and if you don't like it, leave.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

RANDY ORTON'S APARTMENT

Formerly "Does John Cena Do His Own Laundry?"

Hello Everybody,
I'm buzzed on a Tuesday. Gotta love it.

Boy, is Saudi Arabia ever big!!!

So, in Ontario where I live we are experiencing unseasonably low temperatures. We are going to have snow on the ground before long. It'll be the first time in years we've had snow in October.

So, the Cbc says that they want to get mor conservative. Since 2005 they've been investigating the fact that they have a liberal bias. My guess is that they figure if there's an election Stephen Harper will get a majority (thus securing his cardboard cut-out status.) Plus, the Cbc is facing a budget shortfall, has already asked for extra money and has been denied, so they figure if they kiss up to the Conservatives by having Jan Wong guest host The Current and by partnering with the National Post and by having This Hour Has 22 Minutes constantly make fun of Michael Ignatiaf then they might get the extra money. Cbc has always known which side it's bread is buttered on.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

RON JAMES

Cbc, Fridays 8:00

The Ron James Show features comedian Ron James performing stand-up and sketches. The stand-up routines are as great as ever, but the premises for most of the sketches are lame and old: a guy goes into a doctor's office and is told he has two and a half minutes to live, a guy brings home a new piece of technology and everything goes horribly wrong, etc. There are also animated sketches featuring Ron as a little boy, with the usual stereotypical Maritime humour.

The show really isn't very good, but I will watch it for James' excellent routines.

Friday, October 9, 2009

SETH MCFARLANE GETS ON MY NERVES

I have had it up to here with Seth McFarlane.

When Family Guy first came on the air, it was the show that all the kids in the know watched. It was edgy and way out there and pushed the envelope in so many ways. Quite frankly, it was also really funny. When it was cancelled, I was saddened. I was overjoyed to hear that it was returning in 2005.

The returned Family Guy was good for a while, then it became about too many cutaways, McFarlane airing his left-wing views and was frankly not as funny as when it first premiered.

When I first saw American Dad, I thought it was good, albeit a reworking of Family Guy with political humour.

I continued watching Family Guy and American Dad for a couple years. Then I just couldn’t take it. In addition to the reasons listed above, the subtle sexual subtext of everything got on my nerves. The dog is secretly attracted to the wife, the father and the baby are both homosexuals. On American Dad the wife’s a lesbian, the brother and sister are attracted to each other and the alien is homosexual.

It is also quite plain that Seth McFarlane supports pedophelia. There is Herbert on Family Guy. There is the episode of American Dad where Stan admits he’s never killed anyone. A pedophile kidnaps Chris at the water park and Stan ends up shooting his partner instead of the pedophile. There are also of course the many instances of children involved in sexual situations.

Now McFarlane has come out with The Cleveland Show. Let me guess, it features a talking plant. It probably features a lot of vulgar jokes and bizarre sexual relationships as well.

Monday, October 5, 2009

NOT CUT OUT FOR PRESIDENT

A little while ago, there was a joke email going around that Barack Obama was going to be relieved of his duties of president of the United States and the office was going to be outsourced to India.

This got me thinking harder about an idea I've had for a long time.

By now it's pretty obvious to many people that it doesn't make any difference who you vote for. It's also pretty obvious that the candidate who will be elected is determined long before we the people go to the polls.

For example, the 2008 U.S. Democratic race, between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. No one would vote for Hillary Clinton because of what her husband Bill had been involved in, so that left Obama on the Democrat ticket.

Then there is the election itself, between John McCain and Barack Obama. People weren't going to vote for the candidate who was endorsed by the guy who screwed everything up for the past eight years, so Obama became president.

For another example, let's look at last year's Canadian federal election. No one would vote for the NDP, Canadians wouldn't vote for the bumbling, owlish Dionne, so that guarantied Stephen Harper would stay at 24 Sussex Drive.

So, since it doesn't matter who we vote for and men in high places pick the people who are going to be our leaders long in advance of elections, here is what I say we do concerning who will rule our nation in the upcoming years.

Down in the States, they should appoint Jimmy Carter President For Life. When he dies, install a cardboard cut-out of Ronald Reagan in the chair in the Oval Office for three months. Then appoint George Bush Sr. president for life, or if he is no longer alive by this time put a cardboard cut-out of him in the chair for three months, as per Reagan. Then appoint Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama presidents for life respectively. When Obama is dead, we will figure out what to do about our leadership then.

Similarly in Canada, we should appoint Joe Clark president for life. Then, when he dies, appoint John Turner to the office, or a cardboard cut-out for three months. Do the same thing with Brian Mulroney, Kim Campbell, Jean Cretien (might have to substitute a cardboard cut-out for three months at that point), Paul Martin and Stephen Harper. As with Obama, when Harper's dead, worry about who'll fill the office then.

This solution would hopefully put to rest forever the notion that we live in a democratic country. People wouldn't have to worry about following what's happening around election time and wouldn't have to agonize over who they are going to vote for when all the candidates suck. Best of all for many people, they would probably never have to think again because having total power would turn these guys (and in one case a girl) into even bigger dictators than they are already, so every aspect of our lives would eventually be controlled.

CBC'S LACK OF PROMOTION

It frustrates me how Cbc does so little to promote it's television shows sometimes.

For example, the show This Is Wonderland. All Cbc did to promote that was a promo before the show premiered, a promo for an episode in the first season when the main character thinks she will leave the firm and promos for the second and third seasons.

Another example is J-pod. Below is the copy for the sum total of promos the Cbc ran to advertise this show.

This is Ethan, a techno geek with his life out of control. His biggest problem? His parents.

"What is going on with you two?"

---

The reviews are in. J-pod gets the nod.

Then Cbc has the nerve to complain that no one is watching these shows.