Saturday, August 22, 2009

GROWNUPS READ THINGS THEY WROTE AS CHILDREN

Last night on The Lab, it was the pilot for a new show called "Grownups Read Things They Wrote As Children."

The show came out of a series of public performances where adults read letters, poems and stories they wrote when they were kids.

I found the show very entertaining and funny.

In fact, I think these people should try to get some of those writings published. I know it's made me contemplate writing a book of short stories I came up with when I was a child. The way I figure it, society right now has about the mental and emotional maturity of somewhere between a 4-year old and a 14-year old, so that type of thing would sell really well.

Friday, August 21, 2009

APOLOGIES

Sorry for not posting more reviews of Cbc shows.

I haven't even been bothering to listen to Crossing Boundaries or Global Perspectives lately because so much of that stuff is repackaged material. It's all stuff that's either aired in past summers or has aired on The Sunday Edition or shows like that. I didn't even bother to listen to Mash Up this week because I frankly don't believe the spin Gita Natkarni's trying to put on it that cultures can all get along. Also, I have a life.

CITIZEN JOURNALIST

Last Friday on The Lab, it was the pilot for a show called Citizen Journalists, a show featuring well, citizen journalism.

A black woman whose son had been shot near the Concordia University pub wanted to find out the underlying reasons the murder occurred, and why police and other people were calling her son a gangster when-though he had been involved in some criminal activity, he was never in a gang.

The woman interviewed her sons, the principal at the adult education centre where her son had been getting his equivalency and her pastor. The pastor said the church had to become more relevant, which usually means not talking about Jesus or sin and making the church into a place where people just have fun.

In the end, I had to draw the conclusion that this woman's son was trying to turn his life around, get an equivalency, get a job and look after his daughter. He was probably shot down by one of his former criminal associates because in the black community, being a thug is cool whereas getting an education, getting a job and taking responsibility for your children is considered being a sell-out or a house nigger.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

RICHARD SYRETT BACK ON THE AIR

Talk show host Richard Syrett returned to Canadian airwaves Sunday night with The Conspiracy Show on AM 740, one of the few radio stations that is still listenable.

On his first Zoomer radio show, Richard talked about the latest developments with regards to the question of Barack Obama's citizenship, the possibility that Elvis is still alive on the supposed 32-year anniversary of his death, as well as the swine flu.

Due to only being on once a week, Richard is going to have to keep the show oriented to current topics in the news. If he does that, the show should succeed.

REPLY AWL

The July issue of Readers Digest has an article about the people at airports who keep birds from flying into planes. It is interesting.

The July 27 issue of Maclean's has an article about denial of pregnancy, when women don't know their pregnant. It seems to me it should actually be called something like "unawareness of pregnancy" or something. A doctor is quoted near the end of the article saying how denial of pregnancy is a bad thing because women won't have gotten the proper amounts of nutrients during pregnancy, in addition to the fact that some women might have smoked and drank. The question this article didn't answer was, how many of these babies turned out OK?

An article in the April 4, 2009 London Times by Sandi Tisvog talks about keeping kids amused during car trips, through things like talking to them. Imagine that! These days, most parents just throw on the Dvd player for the whole trip. However, this means that kids aren't interacting with the parents or looking out the window. Do we really want to become a society that just surfs the internet or listens to Ipods or watches Dvd's instead of actually talking to and doing things with other people? When I was a kid, car trips were a time when we talked with the parents about all different things. The rest of the trip, we read or coloured pictures. I may have listened to a tape a couple of times, but by no means for the whole trip. These kids aren't looking out the window and appreciating their surroundings. This could have the side effect of making it difficult for these kids to learn to drive because they aren't as familiar with the lay of the land.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

WOODSTOCK'S 40TH ANNIVERSARY

This weekend marks the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, the music festival that celebrated peace, love and understanding.

By peace, they really meant taking away everyone's guns so people would be left defenseless.

By love, they meant "free love", sex with no consequences.

By understanding, they meant believing in their views and tolerating no one else's.

So many of those hippies that were for peace, love and understanding became the yuppies of the 1980's. They are the people who'll take out a lawsuit against you if your grass is too tall or you're playing your music too loud one night. They'll complain because they don't like the look of something in your yard or on your front porch.

These people who once decried materialism are now the same retirees who waste their money on dolls that feel real and swimming pools they never use. Since our manufacturing sector is gone, all these towns are putting in wineries, resorts and "walking trails" to attract these people as tourists.

These people who, in the 60's tried to warn people about the chemicals in our food became the same people who live on fast food all the time because it's more convenient.

They'll sit on their screened-in front porches drinking two bottles of wine a night. They'll retire, spend their days not doing much of anything and a few years after their retirement, get cancer or diabetes or heart problems and die in their early 60's.

Did Woodstock really change anything? Our country is being run by people of that Woodstock generation. The hippies protested the problems of their day, but we've got billions more problems nowadays. They protested Vietnam, but America is involved in an illegal war, which Obama SAYS will end in 2011. Similarly, Canada is involved in a war in Afghanistan under the false pretense that Osama Ben Laden was responsible for 9/11.

Incidentily, my yuppy idiot neighbour (upon whom a lot of this post is based) thinks they should blow Afghanistan (and Pakistan) off the map because "I don't want to live under the Taliban because under them women have no value." I'd tell her what an idiotic statement that is, but you can't tell her anything; she's a child of the 60's.

Monday, August 10, 2009

GET SOME CENTS, CBC

It’s quite apparent that Cbc doesn’t care about having programming for teenagers after school anymore.

It makes me long for the good old days, or at least the old days.

Street Cents: This show ran from 1989-2005. For most of its life it was a consumer advocacy show, featuring products that teens would be interested in. Notable features included The Pit, a giant well, pit that the hosts would throw one really horrible consumer product into each week, after which the product would always explode. Another good, informative feature was when they would test different brands of products. For the first few years the show would feature Ken from the fictional Byco corporation, the epitome of greedy, cut-throat capitalism. The show would often have a wrap-around plot, such as one of the hosts swearing at the voice mail of a girl he liked after it had already beeped.

The show would also feature funny parodies of things, such as Dawson’s Creek:

I can hardly wait
For this show to be over,
Why can’t I be in Dawson’s Creek, BC?

In the last season, Street Cents became more of a show about issues related to teenage life, such as friends with benefits.

The best-known host of Street Cents is probably Jonathan Torrens, who was on SpikeTV’s “Joe Schmo Show” and currently is a swing announcer for Cbc radio, which leads us into:

Jonovision: This show was the reason Jonathan Torrens left Street Cents. This was part of Cbc’s 1995 “television to call our own” spate of programs. Jonovision was a half an hour-unusual for a talk show.

One thing that set it apart was that unlike Jerry Springer and a lot of other talk shows, Torrens was actually interested in solving people’s problems. I remember one early episode which was about righting wrongs friends had done. Jono selected a volunteer from the audience named Paul and dubbed him Paul The Punisher. First, they brought out a girl whose friend constantly teased her about being a virgin. When they went shopping and the girl looked at lingerie, her friend would say, “You’re not allowed to see that” and would embarrass her. The friend was brought out, interviewed for a few minutes, then made to eat a plate of spam served by Paul reading “Kristy (or whatever her name was) is a virgin.”

Next, they brought out a girl whose friend had stolen fifty dollars from her. Jonathan gave her fifty dollars (via Paul) and sang a little song which I just remembered as I was writing this:

If I had a hundred dollars,
I’d give you fifty.
Twenty-five of it’s from Canadian Tire,
Because we’re being thrifty.

One other notable thing Jonovision is noted for was the reunion of the cast of Degrassi Junior High (and Degrassi High) cast in December 1999. This apparently helped spark off the popularity of Degrassi: The Next Generation, which leads us into

Degrassi reruns: I’ve written about this before and will probably write about it again. They got darn high ratings.

Edgemont and possibly Our Hero reruns: These shows don’t really count as after school shows since they originally ran at 7:30. However, I know that Edgemont and I’m pretty sure Our Hero were reran weekdays at 5:30 the following season.

Then there are the other after school shows for teenagers that I never saw, such as Video Hits, virtually the only place where you could see music videos before Much Music, and Going Great, which profiled Canadian teenagers that were doing big things.

Now, as I said, Cbc doesn’t seem to care about having shows for teens after school. The 2007/2008 lineup consisted of an infomercial for HP printers and reruns of Frasier, The Simpsons and Arrested Development. The 2008/2009 lineup consists of reruns of The Rick Mercer Report, Red Green and The Simpsons, as well as Wheel Of Fortune.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A JOKE

A plane is flying over the Atlantic Ocean when it starts to experience problems. The pilot comes on and says, "Don't worry. We're going to be OK. We just have to drop some fuel, throw some supplies overboard and let some people off. We'll be letting people off in alphabetical order. All the African-Americans, go to this exit. All the blacks, go to this exit. All the coons, go to this exit." A little black boy turns to his father and asks, "Aren't we African-American, Daddy?" The father turns to the boy and says, "No, son, today we're niggers and we ain't gettin off before the Mexicans."

HANSON

Remember Hanson? They had that "Middle Of Nowhere" album. Also a horrible buckin album. Especially the bonus track on the CD version (yes, there was a cassette version as well) "Man From Milwaukie."

From the size of his head,
And the size of his toes,
He comes from a place,
That nobody knows.

Yeah, all there songs like "Where's The Love", probably about world peace or some bull like that, "I Will Come To You" about a dead husband or some garbage, what the buck did they know about all that stuff.

And “Oom-bop.” What the heck was that?

Hanson came to fame in1997, with there album “The Middle Of Nowhere.” They grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which is pretty close to the bucking middle of nowhere.

Then there was their famous appearance on Abc’s TGIF. There were fourteen-year old girls trying to break down the doors of Abc headquarters with popsicle sticks. Why didn’t you succeed, girls. Why didn’t you just wreck the place. Then we never would have had to suffer through “Desperate Housewives.”

During their TGIF appearance, they made a very controversial statement. Depending on which source you consult, either Isaac or Taylor went on record as stating, “We’re bigger than a field mouse.”

Hanson had consulted about all their decisions with a guy known as Jamba Man.

In December 1997 came the Christmas album “Snowed In.” It was inspired, so the magic talking grocery bag tells me, by a phenomenon in Oklahoma known as the cocaine storm. You will recall that el nenio was particularly strong that year, and this caused cocaine to rain down upon the state of Oklahoma.

“Then why is the cocaine storm localized entirely in your house, you little buck,” a Tulsa City policeman questioned Taylor Hanson.

They planned to release another album in 1998, but their kike-generated fad was over before that could happen. They released a few more albums which languish in obscurity but can’t be as bad as “The Middle Of Nowhere.”

Seeking help to regain their overwhelming popularity, Hanson consulted with aliens. They did this on four separate occasions, despite the fact that the alien’s advice never paid off.

“Well,” Taylor said, “just because we took their advice last time and it totally didn’t work, it doesn’t mean the same thing will happen this time.”

Oh buck, I just watched a video of “Man From Milwaukee.” It took me “Johnny Cash Cocaine Blues” “Leonard Cohen Closing Time” “Tragically Hip Gus The Polar Bear From Central Park” “A Touch Of Frost” and “Inspector Morse” to recover from that one.

Friday, August 7, 2009

DOES JOHN CENA DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY?

Formerly "Science Fair Projects That Other Kids Have Done."

Remember Acqua's "Acquarius" album? Horrible buckin album, not least "Barbie Girl" but "Dr. Jones" "I'm Calling You" "Candy Man" "Happy Boys" and the rest as well.

Remember Hanson? They had that "Middle Of Nowhere" album. Also a horrible buckin album. Especially the bonus track on the CD version (yes, there was a cassette version as well) "Man From Milwaukie."

From the size of his head,
And the size of his toes,
He comes from a place,
That nobody knows.

Yeah, all there songs like "Where's The Love", probably about world peace or some bull like that, "I Will Come To You" about a dead husband or some garbage, what the buck did they know about all that stuff.

Actually I've got too much good stuff to waste on a post like this, so I will write a seperate post about Hanson.

Why is it that the Cbc doesn't give a buck about having programming for teens anymore?

Jim Jarluski rules.

THE MIDWAY

Tonight on "The Lab", it was the pilot for a show called The Midway, a program dealing with issues related to middle age. It was hosted by Mio Atdelman, whom readers may know from his regular contributions to Cbc's Q.

The program was basically a bunch of propaganda. It was about middle-aged people having children. The program presented a whole bunch of drawbacks. While there are plenty of drawbacks to having children at midlife, this program was just part of all the propaganda coming out in the media lately against having children.

Wednesday on Q, Kevin Sylvester interviewed the author of a book entitled "Forty Good Reasons Not To Have Children." There have also been articles in different magazines lately condemning the family.

This latest spate of attacks against the family by the media is an attempt to prepare the public for new laws which would see the implementation of things like one-child policies and licenses in order to be a parent.

Cbc is doing the same thing with it's summer show "Watershed." They are preparing the public for legislation that would allow the government to control the supply of water that comes into people's homes, as well as laws which would severely restrict people's water use.

Cbc did the same thing last summer with "Diet For A Hungry Planet", preparing the public for coming global food shortages.

UPDATE ON VOLUNTEERING

Though I have not officially gone back to volunteering at my local crisis pregnancy centre, I did contact the director and email her concerning some strategies she could use to promote the centre. I phoned her afterwords and she seemed to like them. She had started to implement similar things already so hopefully she will fully implement those strategies.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

HAL TURNER AN FBI INFORMANT AFTER ALL?

It has been revealed, first by the website Chicago Breaking News and then by Alex Jones’s website that currently incarcerated internet radio broadcaster Hal Turner is an FBI informant.

Looking back on it, the signs were there all along, not so much that you would necessarily cotton on to his being an FBI informant right away, but present enough that you can definitely see it in hindsight. Hindsight is 20/20 after all.

First, Turner advocated violence. Every story was “let’s kill this person, let’s kill that person.” While I do think that most of the people he opined deserved to be killed over the years do deserve to be killed, and while I would welcome a little violence at some point in the future, calling for violence as much as Turner did isn’t the way to go about it. If Turner had said, “Let’s kill so-and-so” and somebody actually did it, the weak, dumbed-down public would say, “Oh there’s so much violence. All these people are killing all these other people. Will I be next? Government, please help me.”

Then the government would declare martial law and get to implement their New World Order even faster than they had planned.

Second, there were a bunch of things that were supposed to happen but didn’t. In 2002, Turner broadcast a message from a patriot group saying, “July 4, 2002 is U.S. Independence Day. Place your chicken in the pot.” (It was supposed to be in code. Yeah, like that message is really hard to figure out.) Of course, on July 4, 2002 nothing happened.

In 2007, Hal Turner said that starting in January 2008; white people would start lynching blacks again. This didn’t happen.

Turner also said that he had planned something for the inauguration of Barack Obama but nothing happened.

People say, “Oh, he was an FBI informant years and years ago” or “His enemies are just making that up.”

If Turner foiled a plot to assassinate Obama, then he had to have been an informant up to at least fairly recently.

If his own defense lawyer said he was an informant, then it’s probably true. Hal wouldn’t make up crazy things to try and get off, even if you factor in that he’s been in solitary for five weeks.

Maybe Turner was working both sides of the street, helping the white supremacist cause while at the same time informing the FBI on some things in order to make a few extra bucks. In 2007, he spoke about conducting the “Detroit operation” after a rally he held in Kalamazoo. He also talked about people he knew killing bankers, for example the 74-year old German billionaire that “threw himself under a train” last December or January.

Either way, Hal Turner has ruined his life. He might be sent up the river or he could die in jail. If he beats these charges, he can never host a radio show again because he has now admitted to being an FBI informant. The best he could hope for is a quiet life in North Bergen, selling real estate or plowing driveways or whatever.

Click the link above to see the story on Alex Jones’s website, which contains a link to the original Chicago Breaking News story.

Monday, August 3, 2009

THE HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

Last Friday on The Lab it was the pilot for a series called The Happiness Quotient.

The episode talked about money and happiness.

I don't know if it's the kind of thing they could keep up week after week.

GARBAGE STRIKE UPDATE

Now that the garbage strike is over, I have some updates for you.

Last week my friend said he saw that someone had tipped over a garbage can at the corner of Kennedy and Eglinton.

I went to a concert at the local fair trade coffee shop last Wednesday. The performer was from Toronto. She said when she went downtown she had to wear her rubber boots because people were putting bags of garbage around the full garbage cans.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

DON'T PASS ME BY, DON'T MAKE ME CRY, DON'T MAKE ME BLUE

The other day, I was copying some tapes I got in the mail. The unit I was using had a record player in it, so when I was done I decided to dig out my parent's copy of The White Album and have a listen.

I listened to a few songs and it struck me, as it has in the past, that The White Album is an ALBUM. By that I mean, you can listen ither all the way through or pick certain songs throughout the album and listen to them. They don't make albums like that anymore, at least not in mainstream music. Today's albums only contain about nine songs. You have the crummy song the band is going to release to the radio first up, and then all the even crummier songs they wrote just to fill up the record.

This got me thinking about how I had stopped following the top forty about a year ago, when that Kid Rock song came out.

We were smoking funny things,
And we were smoking funny things,
Things Things,
Things Things Things,
Things Things things things.

The thing is, I used to live for Kid Rock. Well, not live for, but you know what I mean. When I first heard him at the school for the blind courtesy of my roommate, it was like a revelation. Now these are the kinds of songs he writes? And it came out in June. Remember when summer songs would come out in the middle of August? For example, Fastball's "The Way" or that song "Summer
Girls."

Then there's Katie Perry.

I killed a dyke and I liked it.

Then there's Lady Googoo Gaga, and Googoo Gaga is an appropriate name for her. I looked up a clip of her speaking and she talks like a bucking five-year old.

Bu bu bu bu,
bu bu bucker face.

I quit following the country chart even earlier. Country songs are all like:

We live in a stupid, ignorant, low-brow, low-class, deadbeat, white trash, the people would have to get brain transplants to even qualify for stupid,
Hick town.

We go to the bar every Saturday night,
We get so drunk we pass out,
Then Sunday morning we go to church,
Because we're good Christians,
We're the most devout Christians you could ever meet.

Or they cover pop songs.

Theeeeeeeeeese days,
Everybody wanna talk,
Like they got something to saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
But nothin comes out when they move their lips,
Buckers act like they forgot about Dre.

Kanye West will be releasing his new album soon, "Do As I Say, Not As I do" where he will protest a couple things to show that he's different from other rappers who just rap about cars, money and women.

Then there are some of the so-called alternative rock songs:

I was so wrong,
I screwed up bad,
You were the best
I ever had.

I'm not really sorry
But I can't cook or clean
Or do anything for myself,
So please accept my apology.

One thing,
To say,
Three words,
For you.

You put up with all my garbage,
All my mental issues,
And all my emotional problems.

I'm really a big bucking looser,
I have nothing to offer anybody,
But you stick with me anyway,
You stupid girl.