Hello. I’m from the government, and I’m
here to help. FMBC, the Federal Monolyth Broadcasting Corporation, in
association with a whole bunch of other agencies (because this country’s so
pathetic one agency doesn’t have the money to produce something on its own,)
have produced this documentary for the purpose of talking frankly and openly
This documentary will take a responsible
and ethical view of this topic, and I would say this even if I wasn’t sure your
parents were in the room with you watching this.
Amanda Steptoe played a character on TV who
got pregnant so she’s qualified to talk about this subject.
“Actually, I was still a virgin while I was
on the show. However, when I did have sex for the first time, I was in a
committed relationship. Mind you, we eventually broke up and I felt crushed
because I had given myself to someone who later broke my heart, but hey.
“Also, from before the first time I had sex
onward, I was on the birth control pill. The birth control pill is 96 to 99
percent effective if it’s taken properly, which most girls don’t do. There’s
also been some recent press about horrible side effects, but at least you won’t
have a baby. Besides, the brands of birth control pills on the market today are
approved by the government, the same people who made this film, so you know
they’re safe and reliable.”
(Shift to a street where the narrator is
talking to a teenager.))
“When is the best time to have sex?”
“7:00 in the morning.”
“Why do teens have sex?”
“Because they’re aroused.”
“Why do guys run?”
Nicky is a fourteen year old girl. What is
unique about Nicky, though, is that she got pregnant.
“I told him “That baby has to be yours
because you’re the only guy I’ve been with.” Well, that wasn’t strictly true
because I’d kissed guys before but I took a pregnancy test after I kissed each
guy and I didn’t end up pregnant except for the time I had sex.”
“Me and Sam had been going out for a long
time, like five or six months. One night we were at a party and he was like,
“Let’s go upstairs” and once we got upstairs he was like “Let’s have sex.” I
said I didn’t know if I was ready and he was all “Come on, babe, of course
you’re ready, you just saw your first PG movie by yourself last week, I mean
your thirteen, a teenager cause it has teen in the number and everything.” So
we did it.
“I did it because I thought it would make
me more popular among my friends but I just ended up being known as the school
“I found out I was pregnant when I came
home from that party that night and my mom was like “Oh gosh, you’re pregnant”
and I thought, well, if my Mom says I’m pregnant then I must be.
“My mom was kind of ticked off when I
admitted I had had sex. She was all like why didn’t you start taking the pill
or use condoms or even better how ‘bout you don’t have bloody sex seeing as how
you’re thirteen bloody years old.
“I don’t remember actually having the baby
because I was so full of drugs: illegal ones. One of the girls who was living
with us at the time made sure I got hooked up good.
“Life after Geoffrey was born was tough. I
mean, I have to spend upwards of fifteen minutes a night caring for the little
blighter. I mean, I go to school and I’m free to go out with my friends any
time because my parents take care of him most of the time, but I’m still
expected to have responsibilities just because he’s my child if you can believe
“Sam, Geoffrey’s father, has no interest in
him. He says, “Sure, I’ve got a baby and everything, babe, but is that really
more important than mastering all the levels of the series of video games I’m
playing right now? I don’t think so.” And I’m just like fine, be that way.
“If something were to happen to me then
Geoffrey would go to my parents. They’d be his legal guardians. My mom’s
totally OK with it, too. She said one night, “Well, you seem to take no
interest in your own son so we might as well be the ones to look after him.”
“I haven’t told Geoffrey that Sam is his
dad. Like I said, Sam takes no interest in Geoffrey, not for the two and a half
years Geoffrey has been alive. He did bring Geoffrey a pen and pencil set once,
though, which I thought was nice. Hmmm, maybe Sam is qualified to be Geoffrey’s
legal guardian after all.”
In a recent study, a huge percentage of a
group of grade 7 boys surveyed said they had had sex. Two years later, an even
greater percentage of this group said they had had sex, adding, “Come on, man,
don’t you believe me?”
The same study also found out the majority
of teens say they are very knowledgeable about birth control, as well as
According to Planned Parenthood, one
quarter of teens who have sex don’t use a condom. Also according to Planned
Parenthood, if you are black and you want to abort your baby, you should
totally come into one of their clinics and do it right away.
(Shift back to narrator talking to teenager
“Why don’t some teens use birth control?”
“Because they’re not having sex.”
Now for a different perspective on the
issue of teens and sex, we are going to do something unique and daring. We are
going to speak to Chanty, who is black, meaning she is a member of an ethnic
“I got pregnant at seventeen. I was
surprised because the guy I was with swore to me he couldn’t get a girl
pregnant because he had had so much sex already in his lifetime he’d used up
all his sperm.
“Well, I thought about keeping it, but I
realized I wasn’t going to get any support from the baby’s father. He said he
had an allergy to paper so he would go into a coma if he handed me money for
the baby’s support so I decided to put the child up for adoption.
“I gave birth to my son and then the
doctors said in order to complete the adoption process I would have to go to
sleep, so they gave me some drug of some sort and when I woke up my son was
with another family and I didn’t have a uterus anymore for some reason.”
(Shift back to the street and the narrator
“Do you guys know what STDs are?”
“Isn’t that a new cable sports channel?”
“Some bank thing, I don’t know.”
“You don’t know at your age, sir?”
We will now hear from Angie.
“I first had sex when I was less than ten
“And you got a sexually transmitted
“Well, see, the reason why I had sex at
such a young age was---“
“Oh, I don’t care about that. So how did
you find out you had an STD.”
“Well, I went to the doctor for a blood
test and I went back to get my results and the doctor opened the envelope and
just said, “Whoa.” When I could finally get him to stop laughing he said, still
giggling a little, “You have every sexually transmitted disease known to man.”
I thought he was playing a cruel joke on me so I asked to see the report and he
handed it to me and what that doctor said was true. As my dad and I were
leaving the office, my dog got run over by a passing car. Then a terrorist
jumped out of an alley and shot my father in cold blood.”
“So, what is your life like now with all
(As Angie is speaking, parts of her are dropping
“Well, not bad really. I mean, I can’t have
children, which I really wanted someday, but I’m gradually coming to terms with
that. I’ve lost the function of most of my vital organs: my kidneys, my liver,
most of my lung capacity, but life goes on. I frequently come down with new
diseases and old ones that were supposed to have been wiped out by now.”
Use of a condom is an effective way to
prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Well, actually condoms are made out of
laytex which contains little holes the germs and viruses that cause stds can
easily fit through but aside from that really...
(Shift back to the narrator on the street
talking to teenagers.)
“What about AIDS?”
“Oh I always send a couple cans of powdered
milk over to Africa whenever people come to the door asking me to, and I like
that magazine Amnesty International puts out. Keeps me really aware, you know.”
We are now going to speak with a teenager
who got AIDS. The particular person we are going to speak to also happens to be
“Now are you sure you don’t want me to use
a pseudonym when we make this film?”
“No thanks, sir.”
“All right, then. So, Bentley, when did you
first suspect you had this disease?”
“Well, one morning I was complaining to my
partner at the time about this bad cold I had and he said, “Oh, you probably
have AIDS” so right away I ran down to the free clinic and got a test. Later,
my partner said he was joking.
“The test came back positive, of course. It
was humiliating enough to have to get that news, but the clinic didn’t have to
deliver it via singing telegram, in my opinion.
“My partner and I touched each other on the
shoulder and said we’d be together forever. Then he called up the alternative
high school where I was completing my diploma and Toronto city council and told
them I had AIDS. That got me banned from school, all stores, restaurants, and
highways and roads.”
“My, what an experience. Do you see any
positive side to the AIDS epidemic?”
“I do, actually. Among gay men, temporarily
at least, death by AIDS has surpassed death by lynching.”
When it comes to teens and sex (a knock is
heard at the door) Come in.
Billy: Hello, there. I decided to knock on
a door and ask a random stranger what the best way to prevent AIDS and other
sexually transmitted diseases was.
Narrator: How appropriate that you should
choose me, then. AIDS can be prevented by using a condom.
Billy: But didn’t you say earlier that
condoms have holes viruses can get through?
Narrator: You didn’t hear that. Also, condoms
should be stored in safe places. They should never be exposed to heat. You
should always check the expiry date and you should also use a spermicide with a
condom, preferably even if the condom already comes with spermicide.
Billy: Screw it, I think I’ll just hope
there’s a cure for AIDS by the time my girlfriend and I get around to doing it.
Narrator: Sounds like a plan. Besides,
you’re probably not going to stop to put one on when you’re in the mood anyway,
and if you want to do it a second time you have to get another one.
What about father’s who choose to stick
around when their partner gets pregnant? And yes, I realize this would have fit
better in an earlier part of this documentary. I spoke to a couple to find out
about fathers who are there for their little ones.
I spoke to Barry and Mary Smith. Their six month
old daughter is named Barry Mary.
Narrator: So, how shocking was it when you
found out you were pregnant?
Mary: Well, it was kind of a big shock, you
could say, but a pleasant one.
Barry: Well, yes. I mean, we’d been trying
for at least a year and a half.
Narrator: I see. So, Mary, did Barry offer
to marry you when he found out or what?
Mary: Marry me?
Narrator: You know, “Honey, you’re pregnant
and I really want to make this baby legit so I guess we should---“
Barry: We were already married. In fact
we’d been married for nearly five years at that point.
Narrator: Oh, how old are you two?
Mary: He’s 29 and I’m 27.
Narrator: Well, I guess I’ll be off now.
Barry: What about the payment for appearing
in this you mentioned earlier?
(The door slams.)
(Shift back to narrator talking to teens on
“What’s the best form of birth control?”
“A well-placed knee.”
“Your face should just about do it.”
We are now going to talk to Elissa. She
made a decision many may find very controversial.
“How did you find yourself pregnant?”
“Well, I would walk into a room that had a
mirror in it and see my belly and think, “Whoa, something’s going on here.”
“I didn’t want to keep the baby so I phoned
up a community clinic for counselling and I asked about adoption. I also asked
about abortion. Here, I have a tape.”
(Elissa puts the tape in a cassette player
and presses play.)
(On the tape)
Elissa: Well, I really like the idea of giving
a couple who can’t have children a child.
Councillor: Well, it might be better if you
had an abortion. Listen, what’s the colour of your skin?
Elissa: I’m black.
Councillor: (Excitedly) Oooh, come down
right away. You got any pregnant sistas?
Elissa: Any what?
Councillor: (Speaking slowly) Any of your
homegirlsout to be a babymama?
Elissa: No, I’m the only---
Councillor: Well, come down anyway.
(Shuts tape player off.)
“I went to the Morgantaller clinic to have
it done. It went OK although it was a bit disconcerting having the operation
done by an old German man in lederhosen. Well, I guess that part of it was all
right but did he have to blast his polka music and shout “vunderbar” throughout
the whole thing? I don’t think so.
“Why did I not ultimately choose adoption?
Well, I figured maybe someone might not want the child after all. There are a
lot of unwanted children out there leading crummy lives and I didn’t want to
contribute to it. I thought it would be much more humane to have the baby
ripped apart in my womb.
“The time at the clinic waiting for the
abortion was all right. I brought along four of my friends for support. The
receptionist seemed quite put out that they weren’t also pregnant, for some
reason. I was kind of incensed when she suggested they have one just in case.
We played cards before the appointment, which was cool because it’s something I
rarely get to do.
“Yeah, I let the father know. I phoned up a
week later and said, “Hey, I aborted our baby.” He was like, “Oh, it’s so great
you didn’t consult me or anything.” And I was like, “Well, you weren’t going to
be home for another week.” And he was like “Ohyeah, that makes a lot of sense.”
I was just like, “Whatever.”
“Symptoms? No, other than a few horrible
nightmares I haven’t had any symptoms. Oh, alsoI can’t see a baby in a stroller
without going into hysterics, and last week at my dentist’s office when he
turned on the drill I nearly destroyed the place.”
Helen, a second year university student was
so upset about the protesters outside the clinic where she had her abortion
that she did something about it.
“I started my own clinic. It’s in a
secluded location so no prolife protesters. My last name is Waite, so if any
girls out there want to get an abortion hassle free they can go to Helen
Kurt and Lucy waited a year till they
started having sex.
Kurt: We waited till we were ready. I
didn’t want to pressure her into anything.
Lucy: I feel so special.
Kurt: And I’m glad she feels special, like
I really think of her as somebody and not just a sex object. I’m going to break
up with her soon and move on to her sister, but in the meantime, hey.
Narrator: What’s your advice to teens who
are thinking of having sex.
Kurt: Wait till you’re ready, like, you
know, aroused. Before then sex is definitely wrong. Have it as soon as you
Lucy: Yeah, don’t worry about how bad
you’re going to feel afterwords.
This has been a documentary in your
interest from your government.
Based on “Degrassi Talks: Sex” companion
book to the “Degrassi Talks” television series episode.
91.1 CJRT-FM Toronto July 29, 1984 "Big Band Program" hosted by Glen Woodcock. Benny Goodman Orchestra was the featured artist. 60 minute tape recorded from 10:40 p.m. to 12:13 a.m. Staff anncr was K.M. Finley.
101.5 CFMP-FM Peterborough circa 1991 "Saturday Night Dance Party" hosted by unidentified female anncr. Apparently did news summaries during dance party. 60 minute tape recorded between 11:27 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. Spot at 11:30 for two-tape Glen Miller compilation listeners could obtain by calling whichever station they heard the ad on. Brian Ellis did CFMP's office number at end of ad.
Hello. I’m from the government and I’m hear
Rebecca Haynes, who played Kathleen on
Degrassi Junior High has an interesting story regarding this subject. It’s
definitely more interesting than what happened to her after she left the show.
We’re not going to tell you Rebecca’s story; we just wanted you to know she had
We are, however, going to let Debbie tell
her story. Debbie was date raped.
Debbie: Now you are going to change my name
in your documentary, right? I don’t want that guy coming after me.
Narrator: Sure thing, Debbie.
Debbie: So, I was fifteen and I had this
boyfriend. One day I asked my mom if he could come over while she and Dad were
out so we could be all alone together. She said yes because they had to go to
my aunt’s funeral anyway. So, we were sitting on the couch watching TV and we
started kissing and before I knew it he was trying to go too far. I kept saying
no and trying to push him off but he forced himself on me and raped me. When my
parents got home I told them about it and my Dad’s only comment was, “Well, why
did you only say no three times? Why didn’t you say no more firmly. Goodness
knows you were good at saying no as a baby.” … Well, the rape really hit me,
being the day after my aunt got murdered and everything. We were really close.
She was the first person in my family who had died, well I guess except for my
Narrator: Did you and this guy meet again?
Debbie: Oh yes. He came over the next day
and said he wanted to talk privately about what had happened. He asked me if the
backseat of his car would be a suitable place where we could have a conversation
and I said sure. He took me to the backseat of his car and raped me again. Then
he kept coming over and wanting to talk. Well, after the fifth time he raped me
I went to the police.
Narrator: Do you have any lingering effects
from what happened?
Debbie: Oh yeah. For the longest time every
time I looked at the couch where that boy raped me the first time I just wanted
to scream. I think I would have eventually burned it or something. Fortunately
the furniture store came and repossessed the couch anyway.
Now, let’s look at some facts about abuse:
-One out of five girls admits to
having been physically, sexually or emotionally abused while on a date.
Considering human nature, man’s inhumanity to man, this is not surprising.
-- Rape is never right, even if
the woman was dressed like a total whore.
Now let’s consider a fact about men:
-Men are linear. They see a
hot-looking woman and they think, “How can I get into that chick’s pants in as
quick and socially acceptible a way as possible.”
-- When it comes to sex and
other things, most teenage boys don’t think in the long term. They think, “I’m
ready because I’m aroused. Let’s do it.”
Remember, you should wait till you’re ready
to have sex, like when your parents are out, you’ve broken into the liquor
cabinet and everything’s kind of groovy.
We are now going to hear from Matthew, who
was sexually abused by his father.
Matthew: It happened for five years, from
the time I was nine until the time I was fifteen. We ran a foster home and my
dad was abusing me and this one other foster kid. I finally went to the police
about what was happening and they asked me if I wanted to go to a foster home.
I said sure because I wanted to go someplace safe. After that I was placed in a
series of foster homes. I was sexually abused at every one of them.
Narrator: Did your father get any kind of
help for his problem?
Matthew: Well, one day I asked Dad’s
cellmate if my father was going to receive any kind of therapy in prison and he
said, “Sure, kid, your dad’ll get “therapy” all right.”
Narrator: Do you have any contact with your
father at this time?
Matthew: Not really. I just talk to him
when I need to borrow money or something like that.
Now let’s hear from Kimberley, who was
sexually abused as a child by a boy up the street.
Kimberley: Well, I guess as a child I was a
naive Christian girl from a naive Christian family.
Narrator: That’s exactly what the producers
were looking for.
Kimberley: This boy abused me from the time
I was seven until the time I was twelve. I finally told my mom about it. We had
an emergency meeting at our church where we prayed for the salvation of the
Narrator: I suppose, being Christians and
everything, your family was too stupid to go to the police.
Kimberley: No, we went to the police. They
took my story. I was at the station for hours and hours. After I was finished
telling the whole thing the cop said there were too many incidents for them to
bother sorting the whole mess out and pressing charges so they said have a nice
life and escorted me out to the street.
We move now from sexual abuse to physical
abuse. Let’s hear Matt’s story.
Matt: My stepfather hit me and I ran away
Narrator: And these were prolonged beatings
over a significant period of time?
Matt: No, he just sort of lightly slapped me
Narrator: What did you do after that?
Matt: I ran away from home.
Narrator: What happened to you after you
ran away from home?
Matt: I started drinking and doing drugs.
Narrator: As a result of the trauma the
abuse had caused?
Matt: Yeah, sure, that sounds like a good
Parents don’t have the right to hit
children whatsoever. Sure, the Bible says it’s all right to spank but who are
you going to believe: a book that has touched countless lives and has withstood
the test of time, or this tear jerking documentary produced by a government
organization in association with three other government organizations and a
Next, we’ll hear from a victim of physical
and emotional abuse. She is also disabled, just for that extra tug at the
Narrator: What’s your name?
Narrator: Say again.
Narrator: Oh bug off, cripple, we can get
along without your story anyway.
A disabled child should never be abused.
Instead, if you find out your baby is going to be born disabled, you should
Let’s take a look at abuse from the other
side. Jim is an abuser.
Jim: There was this eight year old girl. I
was doing sexual things to her, you know.
Narrator: Why did you abuse this girl?
Jim: Well, I was abused as a child myself.
Narrator: Well that’s all right, then.
Jim: Yeah, I know, eh. I don’t feel down on
myself for abusing that girl because I’m getting help. I go to group therapy
and me and other abusers reminisce.
Narrator: You do what?
Jim: We talk about ways we can help each
other. Also, I’ll ask the parents of the victim about how I was during the
abuse so they get to relive it and everything, which is cool.
If you’ve been abused, the best way to deal
with it is through drugs and alcohol. Sure, it’s harmful to your body and mind
and will probably kill you, but at least when you wake up in the morning you
have the afternoon to look forward to.
This has been a documentary in your
interest from your government.
Based on “Degrassi Talks: Abuse” companion
book to the “Degrassi Talks” television series episode.
(Open on the inside of a train station waiting room. )
Newsie: Extra, extra, read all about it. Scientists predict
global warming will become biggest money-spending, overreaching piece of
government propaganda ever. Extra, extra, read all about it.
(Anne walks up to a seedy-looking man.)
Anne: Excuse me, sir. Would you like to have your ears
delighted by a sintilating piece of literature spoken in an unbelievingly
Seedy Man: Sure, why not, little goil. All I got’s two bits,
Anne: Twenty-five cents will be perfectly acceptable as it
is currently 25 cents more than the state of destitution in which I have lately
and unfortunately come to find myself.
(Anne begins to recite “Hamlet” from the beginning using
silly voices and making her fingers into puppets. Matthew can be seen
approaching. The seedy man hands Anne a quarter.)
Matthew: Anne, Anne, there you are. I’ve been looking all
over for you. Marilla’s worried sick about you.
Anne: Get away from me!
(A policeman approaches.)
Police Officer: Is there a problem here, sir.
Anne: This man (points to Matthew), he is the problem,
Matthew: Anne, just listen to me---
Anne: Why? So you can draw me back into your web of
deception that you want to raise me, a girl, when all you originally wanted was
a boy to help on your farm?
Matthew: We love you, Anne. Please come back to us.
Seedy Man: Look, mack, looks like you better push off where
this little goil’s concerned, if ya follow me.
Matthew: Mister, this little girl is my daughter, if not by
flesh and blood, than by my very spirit.
Police Officer: Sir, there is no need to defend yourself
using flowery poetry.
Matthew: Sorry, officer. I just didn’t want to get sued for
Seedy Man: Fair enough, Mack.
Anne: Fine. I shall accompany you and Marilla back to Green Gables.
(Anne and Matthew walk out of the train station and step
inside the carriage. Marilla is in the carriage waiting for them. Matthew picks
up a set of keys, sticks them in the horse’s ear, gives a command, and the
carriage starts moving.)
Marilla: Anne, you really must stop doing this.
Anne: Oh, doing what, praytell?
Matthew: Running away whenever there’s the slightest bit of
trouble between you, on the one hand, and Marilla, I or someone else in Avonlea
on the other.
Marilla: Really, Anne, this is the thirtieth time you’ve
done this. Have you any grasp of the lengths to which Matthew and myself have
gone to prove we love you and want you for our very own?
Matthew: I’ve been in five carriage wrecks, permanently injured
in three of them, quite seriously.
Marilla: He’s been lost in the jungles of South America.
Matthew: I’ve been shipwrecked off the Gold Coast of Africa.
Marilla: He’s been kidnapped and held prisoner by nomadic
terrorists in both the Sahara and Gobi Deserts.
Matthew: And every time you’ve run away Marilla’s gotten
worried sick about you.
Marilla: It’s true. The doctor has diagnosed me with some
pretty serious diseases known to man and a few medicine hasn’t any idea about
Matthew: And yet you keep running away from us, Anne.
Marilla: So we have an idea. (She reaches under the seat and
produces an electronic family Bible with a stylus attached to the side) We’d
like you to take our name, become Anne Cuthbert. If the idea is too your
liking, you can write “Anne Cuthbert” right here in our family Bible.
Anne: Oh, Marilla, this day is truly an epoch in my life.
Giving up my surname, the one thing I have from my late parents whom I never
knew, owing to their deaths when I was but three months old, is the thing I
have dreamed about for so long I was beginning to loose all hope it would ever
become an actual occurrence.
This is one of the best, meatiest, most informative sermons I have ever heard, ranking a gosamer breadth beneath all Pastor Peters' sermons and maybe sharing first place with the aforementioned.
Shreve not only sheds light on the mystery of the tree of life but, as part of this topic, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
This is topical preaching the way it should be done.
The only major disagreement I would have is that man's ultimate xhope is not to become God, for this is the sinful desire Eve had that led her to eat the fruit in the first place. Rather, our hope is to get into that perfect, and ironically more God-like (if I may use the word here) state we were in before the fall. (Granted, I heard this sermon on an old tape from Mount Zion Family Bible Camp that Mom brought me one day so I don't exactly know what specifically Shreve says in the link below.)
Heard "In the Market with Janet Parshall" a few weeks ago talking with James Deyoung about the film "The Shack."
First of all, I have downloaded the podcast done by two of the guys instrumental in both the book and the movie. They are Scripturally sound and I believe this film is Scripturally sound.
Those who are big in Christian media, and in the institutional church in general, are so afraid of loosing control over their audience and apparently think their audience is so dumb that that the Christian media feel it's their job to keep their precious audie nce away from everything containing any hint of false doctrine, or to put it more accurately, anything with which these hosts don't agree.
Janet brought up the point that Brad Cummings had said this film has helped people think outside the box, to which DeYoung responded that, since Cummings thought outside the box, he was willing to accept everything that fell outside that box.
A caller from Montana brought up the fact the movie advances the idea God wants a relationship with His people, which is Scriptural. In fact, the caller brought up Biblical passages that support this truth, to which Janet responded, "So you're saying it's just a novel. Well, "The Da Vincy Code" was just a novel. Would some scientists study these people's inner ears. The hear only what they want to hear and can turn any valid opposing argument into a totally different, weaker argument.
Mr. Lerner’s class. The students enter and
sit down at their desks.
Becky Halperen: Hey Parker, did you get
that essay for Lerner done yet?
Parker Fadley: What essay?
Becky: You had the whole weekend.
Becky: I bet you fifty bucks you’re
Parker: Deal. I could use an extra fifty
(Mr. Lerner enters.)
Mr. Lerner: I hope you’ve all finished your
essays on Patriarchy In Beyowolf. (He comes around to Parker’s desk. She pulls
out her paper, which just has a bunch of scratches on it) You’ve actually done
your essay, Parker Fadley?
Parker: Yes, and I wrote it in the original
Mr. Lerner: Fabulous.
Becky: When the heck did you do that essay?
Parker: History, lunch. Can I have my fifty
Becky: It was a joke, Parker. The bet was a
Parker: But I won’t let it be a joke. Pay
(Becky pulls a few crisp bills out of her
Becky: Here you go.
Parker: Mr. Lerner?
Mr. Lerner: What is it, Fadley?
Parker: May I be excused? I have to go to
my weekly counselling session at the guidance office.
Mr. Lerner: You’re excused, Miss Fadly.
Parker: It sure sucks to be me.
The hallway. Parker is leaving the guidance
office. Becky approaches her, holding a piece of paper.
Becky: Here’s your homework for Lerner’s
Parker: (Takes piece of paper) Thanks.
Becky: Lerner had a headache so he told us
to read the yellow wallpaper and write a thousand word essay about how it
Parker: We read that in Grade 9.
Becky: Yeah, but Lerner had a headache so
he just told us to read the yellow wallpaper.
Parker: Isn’t that that one where the chick
Becky: No, he didn’t mean the story, “The
Yellow Wallpaper.” He meant we should stare at our wallpaper tonight and write
a thousand word essay about our impressions. Then he lit up a tiny cigarette
and left the classroom.
The guidance office. Parker enters. She is
Miss Gray: And how are we feeling today,
Parker: I have a killer hangover.
Miss Gray: Hmmm.
Parker: I knew I shouldn’t have finished
off that bottle of vodka last night.
Miss Gray: Well, as you know there is only
one possible way we can deal with this problem.
Parker: Oh gosh, I don’t even want to ask.
Miss Gray: Hair of the dog. (She pulls a
bottle of vodka out of her desk drawer and pours some into a coffee cup) Drink
Parker: Um, thanks, I think.
Miss Gray: I suppose the only correct thing
to do is to participate in the therapy with you.
(She pours herself a shot, drinks it down
and hits the floor.)
Parker: I guess our session’s over with
early for today?
The guidance office. Parker enters.
Miss Gray: So, I hear you started crying
uncontrollably in Mr. Lerner’s class. What was that about?
Parker: Well, you see, I’d taken some drugs
earlier, and while I was sitting in Mr. Lerner’s English class, I thought I was
driving down the road. When he came up to me, I thought Mr. Lerner was a police
officer. I’d managed to cry my way out of speeding tickets before, so I thought
it would work again.
Miss Gray: (A big smile comes over her
face) I think that shows marked improvement.
The woods. Parker and Jake are walking
through the woods together.
Jake Gardner: So, we have to take a picture
of a landscape, then we each have to imagine one side of it differently and yet
have the two sides harmonize together or something. I don’t get it.
Parker: Gosh, didn’t you take art at your
Jake: I did, but the teacher was spacy so
whatever we did I just drew dogs playing poker and he always gave me a hundred.
Parker: Well, give me your camera. I’ve got
a really awesome shot in mind.
(She grabs Jake’s camera and runs toward
Jake: Hey, Parker, wait, jeez. Be careful
with my camera.
Parker: Oh, I will.
(She climbs a tree, grabs onto a branch and
crawls to the edge, thirty feet directly above the ravine. She hangs upside
down, sites into the lens and takes the picture.)
Jake: Oh my gosh.
(She throws the camera in Jake’s direction.
He catches it. She swings around to the other side of the tree and crawls out
to the edge of the branch opposite the one she took the picture on. The branch
breaks. Parker falls to the ground, landing on her back.)
Jake: Oh man, that’s like something that
would happen on some British sitcom or something. I gotta think about this.
(He runs away laughing.)
The house. Parker’s parents enter, carrying
a box. Parker is standing at the kitchen counter.
Mom: Honey, you know how you’ve been
bugging us for a dog for what seems like years and years?
Parker: Uh huh.
Mom: Well, we finally decided to get you a
Dad: Yes. It would be a great way for you
to start being responsible again.
Mom: Yes, but with your little problem, we
decided not to get you a real dog.
Dad: (Opens box) Meet your pet robot dog.
Her name is Bailey. (Parker gets a dismayed look on her face) Oh, don’t worry,
honey. I already put batteries in her.
(He presses a button on a remote control
and the dog begins to move woodenly and mechanically.)
The gym. Principal Henley is standing on
the stage. The students enter and sit in chairs.
Principal Henley: We are holding this
assembly today in memory of Jessica Wellington. We are all going to pray to
Jesus for her safe return. Be confident, students, that He will answer our
prayers. I know the longer it is, the more hopeless it seems, but I am
confident Jesus will hear and answer. I know you students swear like sailors,
get drunk every weekend and buy and sell drugs in the washrooms, but you pay
lip service to the Catholic church so God’s bound to hear and answer.
Parker: I can’t breathe.
Jake: What’s wrong.
Parker: I’m having trouble breathing. I
have to leave the room. Excuse me.
(She begins making her way out of the gym.)
Jake: Whenever I have trouble breathing, I
inhale and exhale. I find that helps.
The house. Parker runs in. Her father is
sitting on the floor, playing with Bailey.
Dad: Look what I taught Bailey to do. Go
fetch my slippers, girl.
(Bailey moves slowly down the hall. A while
later, she returns with Parker’s father’s slippers. Parker’s father pushes a
button on the remote control about eight times and Bailey finally let’s go.
Parker’s father smiles broadly.)
The nurse’s office. Parker is lying on a
cot. A male nurse is standing beside her.
Nurse: So Parker, you fainted in class, did
Parker: Well. Mr. Norton was having us use
this weird-smelling paint. We kept asking him to open the window, but he kept
saying, “No way, man, I’m on my way.” Next thing I know, I’ve fainted, taking a
jar of yellow paint with me.
Nurse: Oh, well you’re probably all right
now. Just stay here a few more minutes in accordance with the school’s policies
and then you’re free to go.
The chapel. Parker enters and lies down on
one of the pews. Becky enters.
Becky: Parker? Parker, I know you’re there.
I can see your feet.
Parker: (Sighs) This is unexpected, Becky.
What do you want?
Becky: I really wanted to start over with
you after everything that happened. I thought it was possible. For about five
minutes it almost felt like there was this mutual respect thing going on. You’ve
made a choice and it’s so obvious. You want to rot and I want to let you.
Consider this my contribution.
(She hands Parker a brown paper bag with a
bottle of whisky inside.)
Parker: Becky, no. If I’m drunk in school
again, I’m expelled for sure. I still want to graduate. (Becky exits) Hmmm,
maybe I’ll just leave this here.
(Parker puts the bottle of whisky on the
floor. A horde of mice come and carry it away.)
The house. Parker enters. Her mom and dad
are sitting in chairs in the living room, watching the news on TV.
Mom: Parker, we have some sad news.
Dad: Bailey’s dead. His microchips stopped
(Parker starts to cry.)
Mom: Well, he was completely incompatible
with today’s technology.
Anncr: And this just in, missing high
school student Jessica Wellington has been found. We’re out of time now, but
we’ll have further details on this story tomorrow night. Then again, we’ll
probably forget about it, so don’t anyone hold their breath.
Chris’s house. There is a party taking
place. Kids are drinking, smoking and dancing. Jessica Wellington is heading
off to the woods with an older guy. Parker is following her.
Older Guy: I’m a musician.
Jessica Wellington: Really! That’s so cool.
Older Guy: Yup. I play the saw.
Older Guy: I got a two-handed crosscut in
my truck. Wanna make music together?
Jessica and the older guy can be seen
playing the saw over the closing credits.
The school gym. Students are on stage rehearsing a play.
Chuck is painting scenery backstage.
Pete: Avast me lubbers. ‘Tis Peter Pan and his Lost Boys
come to board me.
(Ida blows her whistle.)
Ida: Cut, cut, bloody cut.
Pete: What? I did it right.
Ida: Pete, this is Robin Hood, not Peter Pan, and your
playing Robin Hood. (To the other kids) OK, let’s take five.
(Pete walks offstage.)
Mrs. Gonzalez: Don’t worry, Pete, I thought it was good. Den
again, I don’t know the diference between Peter Pan and Robin Hood.
Ida: (To Mrs. Gonzalez) I just wish these kids would
Mrs. Gonzalez: (Robotically) Don’t worry. If you need to
talk, I’ll be in my office.
(Chuck throws down his paintbrush.)
Chuck: Come on, Pete. We don’t want to be late to meet Dad.
Pete: No, I think I’ll stay here. This is important, and I
don’t want to risk incurring the wrath of Miss Crabby. Tell him I’ll be there
Shift to a bowling alley. Chuck’s dad is standing in the
opening of an empty lane. Chuck enters.
Mr. Riley: Hey, Chuck. How are you?
Chuck: Pretty good. (He picks up a bowling ball) Pete
couldn’t come. He had something after school.
Mr. Riley: Something after school! He’s not in trouble, is
Chuck: No, it’s something for English.
Mr. Riley: English! So he got that part in the play he
Chuck: He’s the lead if you can believe it.
Mr. Riley: Wow! I was in a play once. Me and the other guys
beat up this other guy who was a snitch and stabbed this shive in his back. Or
maybe that was a cough syrup trip. Well, I’ve got to go now before those stupid
guards realize I’ve escaped. I’ll try to bust out again. Maybe I can come to
the school and go to your hockey games for a few minutes.
Shift to outside of Chuck’s house. His mother is standing
outside of the open door of the cab.
Chuck: Mom, could you fix this tear in my jeans? I have to
go over to Tena’s to work on the play.
Mrs. Riley: Tell me I didn’t just hear you ask me to fix the
tear in your jeans. With your father in jail, I have to drive this cab and do
the maintenance. I don’t even think I’ll have time to make dinner. Why couldn’t
he have just passed that account onto a collection agency, or at least hired
mafia guys to kill the guy for him?
Cab Radio: Der werber der werber werber werber.
Mrs. Riley: Someone wants a cab at Union Station. I have to
(Chuck goes inside. He pulls out a bag of flour and two
bowls. He measures flour into the bowls.)
Chuck: Pete, dinner’s ready.
Shift to the front door of Tena’s house. He rings the
doorbell. Mr. Sheldon answers.
Mr. Sheldon: Oh, you must be the new boy I’m going to ride
Chuck: No, I’m here to work with Tena on the school play.
Mr. Sheldon: This way.
(They go into the back room)
Chuck: Hi Tena.
Tena: Hi Chuck. This looks like Lincoln green, don’t you
Chuck: Yeah, considering I don’t know what the heck Lincoln
green looks like.
Shift to the bowling alley. Chuck is standing at the snack
counter. Mr. Riley enters.
Mr. Riley: Hi, Chuck.
Chuck: Hi, Dad. (Hesitating) Here’s a ticket to the play
tomorrow. (He pulls a ticket out of his pocket and gives it to his father)
Mr. Riley: Thanks. I gotta go. We’re under lockdown. See you
Shift to the school gym. The play is about to begin.
Pete: Hi, I’m Robin Hood. Did you know my dad is in jail.
See, these guys said they were going to pay him for a cab ride, then they
didn’t so he broke down one of the guy’s apartment doors and killed him. Then,
these other guys owed him some money from an illegal gambling ring but they
didn’t give it to him so he beat them up. And, this other time this guy owed
him twenty bucks so he busted his kneecaps. (Everyone looks horrified) Hey, I
forgot my lines. Jeez.
Chuck: (Backstage) Hey Tena, let’s go meet my dad.
(They go out into the audience where Mr. Riley is sitting
beside Chuck’s mom. Tena’s father comes up to them.)
Mr. Sheldon: Say, Riley, since your son appears to like my
daughter, let’s say I get you a government job and have your record expunged.
The kitchen of a house. Snowflakes are falling against the
window. Catherine steps off the fridge toward the counter, as if walking on an
imaginary balance beam. She falls.
Mr. Peters: (From upstairs) Catherine, did you pack fruit in
(Catherine stands up. Her father comes down the stairs. They
put on their winter clothes and exit.)
Shift to the school gym. Catherine gets on the balance beam
and walks across.
Catherine: Boy, that went a lot better than the last time.
Gym Teacher: OK, here is the team for Monday: Casey, Tracey,
Lacey, Bacey, and Catherine.
Shift to an apartment building. Catherine enters and starts
to walk upstairs. Music can be heard coming from upstairs. Catherine enters the
Mrs. Peters: (Sings) Destiny. Destiny. Destiny (Stops) Ok,
guys, I don’t know. Something isn’t right with this song. Our hair could stand
to be a little curlier.
Band Members: Yeah, your right.
Catherine: Hi, Mom.
Mrs. Peters: Catherine, how are you?
Catherine: Pretty good.
Mrs. Peters: How is school?
Catherine: Good. I’m getting good marks---
Mrs. Peters: (To the band members) What you say we resume
tomorrow. (The band members nod) Great. (To Catherine) Whare do you want to go
Catherine: I want to go to one of the various crummy burger
joints that inhabit this neighbourhood.
Shift to a shopping mall. Catherine and Mrs. Peters are
walking through the main part of the mall.
Mrs. Peters: So, a huge
makeup kit, some new bracelets and two new outfits. That should be enough to
show that worthless father of yours. (They stop at a table in the food court
and sit down. A really fancily-dressed waiter comes over) We’ll have two extra
large deep fried bacon with butter. (Later) Well, how about another.
Catherine: Well, I’m pretty full.
Mrs. Peters: Com on. It isn’t every day you get to eat
things like this since your useless father makes you eat healthy food. Killjoy.
Catherine: Well, I guess.
Mrs. Peters: (Signals the waiter over) Two more, please.
Shift to outside Mrs. Peters’ apartment building.
Catherine: Oh by the way, Mom, I made the gym team.
Mrs. Peters: That’s wonderful. When’s your meet.
Mrs. Peters: Good. I’m going to come.
Mrs. Peters: See you this weekend. We’ll have a really good
time. We’ll have three helpings this time.
Shift to Catherine’s father’s house. Catherine enters. Her
father is sitting on the couch, listening to music.
Mr. Peters: Hi. How was it?
Mr. Peters: What did she feed you? Probably hamburgers and
French fries. Well, come on and I’ll make you a drink with proteen.
Catherine: Well, actually---
Mr. Peters: Follow me. (Mr. Peters goes into the kitchen.
Catherine follows him. He takes steak, chicken, pork chops and bacon out of the
fridge and puts it in the blender. He blends it and pours it into a tall
glass.) There you go.
Catherine: Well, actually, Dad—
Mr. Peters: I said drink it.
Catherine: Oh, by the way I made the gym team.
Mr. Peters: Great. When’s your meet?
Catherine: Next Monday.
Mr. Peters: Great. I’ll be there.
Shift to outside Mrs. Peters’ apartment building. Catherine
is wearing one boot and one shoe and has bandages running from her right ankle
to her right knee. She enters the building and walks perfectly up the stairs
and into her mother’s apartment. Music can be heard.
Mrs. Peters: Catherine, what happened?
Catherine: Oh, I fell during practice.
Mrs. Peters: Oh.
Catherine: It’s just a little sprain. I’m going to have to
miss the meet, though.
Mrs. Peters: Oh, there’ll be other meets. (Turning to the
band) OK, let’s take Destiny once more from the top. (They begin to play. They
finish and the band members exit.) Well, we won’t be going out tonight. I’d
hate for you to have to try to keep up with me with that leg. How does pizza
Catherine: It sounds great. Mom, suppose you had two
drummers and they were both really good, but you could only choose one. How
would you choose?
Mrs. Peters: Well, that would depend on a lot of things,
like how cute they were and how curly their hair was.
Catherine: Would you lie?
Mrs. Peters: Of course! (A knock is heard at the door) That
must be the pizza.
Catherine: I’ll get it.
(She leaps off the chair and walks perfectly over to the
Mrs. Peters: Catherine! You don’t have a sprained ankle
Catherine: I know. Dad is supposed to come to the meet, too,
and I didn’t want you there because you and Dad would just fight.
Mrs. Peters: We will just fight, but there’s no way that
looser of a father of yours is going to make me look like a bad parent by me
not coming to your meet. This is just typical of you. You invite your father.
You are a horrible child. You’re a freeloader. You don’t appreciate any of the
things I’ve done for you, like the time when you were a baby and you wouldn’t
stop crying and I finally suckered the Fuller Brush man into giving you a glass
of milk, which you promptly spilled all over the floor. Ugh, milk and dirt,
that would have been a joy to clean up, if I had actually cleaned up. Jeez, at
six months old, you would think you would be able to hold a glass. And the
times I would brush dust off your closet door. (A knock is again heard at the
door. Mrs. Peters answers the door to the pizza delivery man.) Give it here.
(She stuffs the entire pizza in her mouth) (To Catherine with a full mouth) Go
to your box.
Catherine: Night, Mom.
Mrs. Peters: Screw off.
Shift to the school gym. Catherine is coming out of the
change room with one pink slipper and one blue slipper. Mr. and Mrs. Peters
Mr. and Mrs. Peters: You.
Mr. Peters: How dare you come here and screw this up for me.
Mrs. Peters: Me?
Mr. Peters: Yeah, you. Are you so stupid you’ve even
forgotten who you are?
Mrs. Peters: What you say is what you are, so if you call me
stupid that means you’re stupid.
(Mr. Peter’s grabs Mrs. Peters’ arm.)
Mr. Peters: You put me through such horrible things in our
Mrs. Peters: Well, who through the neighbour’s barbecue
against our wall.
Mr. Peters: You never took care of Catherine or the
housework. You only cared about the stupid band. You were always off to gigs
Mrs. Peters: Oh yeah, well, you didn’t not care about taking
care of Catherine or doing the housework so that makes you stupid.
Mr. Peters: Ohhhhhh.
(They begin to beat each other up.)
Anncr: And in second place, Catherine Peters.
Mr. Peters: Second place. Typical of a member of this family.
THE CANARDS MOVE
Open on a pool. Lisa, Casey and several other girls are
standing in the shallow end of the pool.
Instructor: Welcome to the water safety course. This course
is to teach you the proper ways to swim so you don’t drown. Not that we really
care if you drown because you’re poor, but if you did it would be too much
paper work. I want you to start by treading water. Lean back as if you were
sitting on achair, bring your knees up to your chest and pump your legs.
(Lisa tries without success.)
Lisa: (To Casey) Boy, I’m never going to learn this stuff.
We have ten more weeks of this?
Casey: Come on.
(She pushes Lisa under the water. She splutters to the
Instructor: Hey. Oh, you didn’t drown.
Shift to the street outside Lisa’s house. Lisa and Casey
come up the street and enter.
Don Canard: Hey, we’re moving to Vancouver.
Gail Canard: We’re moving to Vancouver.
Don: This guy, Robert Picton, thinks he can get us a good
job as junkies in the downtown east side.
Don: You know I haven’t been able to find a job. We’re about
to be evicted.
Lisa: We’re about to be evicted. I didn’t know that.
Gail: And these yuppies have agreed to rent the house
because they want to live like poor people.
Shift to the school. Lisa enters and begins rampaging around
beating up kids.
Lisa: Lisa mad.
Shift to Lisa’s house. Lisa enters. Don and Gail are sitting
on the couch.
Lisa: You know, I was thinking I could live in that shack my
friends and I are using as a clubhouse.
Gail and Don: OK.
Based on “Catherine Finds her Balance and Other Stories” by
Kit Hood, Linda Schuyler and Eve Jennings.
The apartment. Nadeen enters. Her mom and
dad are sitting on the couch with the real estate agent looking at photos.
Dad: Come over here Nadeen and look at
(Nadeen goes over to the couch.)
Nadeen: What’s that?
Mom: Those are photos of our new house.
We’re moving to Rivercrest.
Nadeen: Rivercrest! But that’s like a
million miles away. What about my life here?
Mom: Now honey, you know I’m going to have
a baby shortly. Parkdale is no place to raise a child.
Nadeen: Why not? I was raised here and I
turned out fine.
Dad: This apartment’s falling apart at the
seams. This is a chance to get into a nice neighbourhood into a house with a
big backyard so the baby will have lots of room to play when he gets older.
Nadeen: But I don’t want to live in a good
neighbourhood. I want to be a b-girl.
Bill: I don’t think she took that news
Dad: Yeah. Speaking of bad news, I think
someone just stole your car.
Bill: (Looks out window) Oh my---
Mom: Let us call you a cab.
Bill: No thanks, I’ll walk. You should
probably see to your daughter.
Dad: You’re right. Can we have your wallet
to stuff into her mouth so she doesn’t swallow her tongue?
The new house. Nadeen and her mom and dad
pull up in their car, the moving van following behind them.
Dad: Well here we are. Rivercrest at last.
Nadeen: Yeah, White People City.
(A crowd of people descends upon the
Jodie: Welcoming committee! I’m Jodie. I
live next door to you.
Lucy: Hi, I’m Lucy. I live next door to you
on the other side of Jodie.
Liberty: Hi, I’m Liberty. I live across the
street with my husband.
Gloria: Hi, I’m Gloria. I’m Liberty’s
grandmother. I live with her.
Jim: And I’m Jim, Gloria’s grandfather.
The kitchen. Nadeen is standing at the
counter. Her mom and dad enter.
Dad: Hey, look what we’ve got!
Nadeen: (Uninterested) What?
Mom: The ultrasound photos! (Pulls out a
picture and hands it to Nadeen) That’s your new brother.
Nadeen: I hate this stupid baby. It’s
because of him we had to move up to this boring neighbourhood.
Dad: Hush right now, girl.
(Nadeen: No I won’t. This baby is ruining
She tears up the ultrasound photo. Nadeen’s
mother slaps her across the face. A knock is heard at the door. Nadeen’s dad
answers it. Charles Henderson is standing there.)
Charles Henderson: Hello. My name’s Charles
Henderson. I live behind you. I take it you three were engaging in a bit of
The house. Nadeen is sitting at the table,
looking bored. A knock is heard at the door. Nadeen answers it. Charles
Henderson is standing there.
Charles: Oh, hi Nadeen. Is your dad home?
Nadeen: No, he’s at work.
Charles: Oh, he works after all. Well, I
brought you a present, something I thought you could use. (He pulls a bicycle
out from behind him) My ex-wife left it in the garage when she moved out. I
thought it might be useful for someone without a car.
Nadeen: Thank you.
Charles: Don’t mention it. Oh, and don’t
worry, I told all the neighbours I was going to give it to you so you won’t get
anybody thinking it’s stolen.
The school cafeteria. Nadeen is sitting on
a bench by herself with her headphones on. Maddie slides down the bench and
taps her on the shoulder.
Maddie: Excuse me.
Nadeen: (Taking off her headphones) Yes.
Maddie: Hi, I’m Maddie. Can I touch your
hair. (Maddie starts touching Nadeen’s hair anyway) Oh, it’s so nice and thick,
not like the thin hair I felt on the Chinese girl. Where were you born?
Maddie: No, where were you born?
Nadeen: Women’s College Hospital.
Nadeen: My mom’s parents were Mexican, my
dad’s father was born in Jamaica and my dad’s mother was French.
Maddie: Oooh, can you speak Jamaican?
The girls’ washroom. Nadeen is washing her
hands. Ashley enters and starts fixing her makeup.
Ashley: So, you’re from Toronto, right?
Nadeen: Yeah, Parkdale.
Ashley: So, you must have seen some things.
Ashley: Like murders and parties and cool
Ashley: Do you have any stuff on you?
Ashley: (Pulling a cigarette out of her
purse) You know, stuff.
Nadeen: No, what makes you think I use---
Ashley: Well then, I guess I’m just going
to steal your IPod.
(Ashley reaches into Nadeen’s backpack,
grabs her IPod and runs out of the bathroom. Nadeen chases after her.)
The principal’s office. Nadeen and Ashley
are sitting in chairs in front of Mr. Winkley’s desk.
Mr. Winkley: So Nadeen, Ashley claims you
stole her IPod.
Nadeen: No sir, it’s the other way around.
That’s my IPod.
Mr. Winkley: Really? Why should I believe
Nadeen: Look at what’s on there.
Mr. Winkley: Oh, I hate this technological
stuff. Miss Douglas, could you come in here and help me with this I-thingamabob?
(Miss Douglas enters. The principal hands
her the IPod and she gets it to the list of files.)
Nadeen: See. Chubrock, Outkast, Notorious
B.I.G. Does that sound like stuff Ashley here would listen to?
Mr. Winkley: I don’t know. Maybe Ashley
likes rap or hip hop or whatever it’s called.
Ashley: Oh yeah, I love Snoopydoopy and MNM
Mr. Winkley: Well that clinches it, then.
Miss Douglas, call the police.
Outside the school. It is the night of the
Haloween dance. Teenagers are dressed up in costumes going into the school. Nadeen
catches the eye of Devon. Devon starts break dancing. Nadeen begins break
dancing as well, trying to outdo him. The principal comes up to Nadeen.
Mr. Winkley: What is this, exactly?
Nadeen: It’s called break dancing.
Mr. Winkley: Well, whatever it is it
doesn’t sound like the kind of thing we do here at Rivercrest High School.
Leave the premises immediately.
Nadeen: Fine. Whatever.
The school hallway. Nadeen is walking down
the hall. Mr. Winkley comes up to her with a stack of file folders in his arms.
Mr. Winkley: Nadeen Durant.
Nadeen: Yes, sir.
Mr. Winkley: I looked up break dancing on
the webnet on the weekend. It carries serious risks. I think you should look at
Nadeen: But Mr. Winkley, it really isn’t
Mr. Winkley: You should also look into the
information I’ve gathered on spoons and recliners.
Baby Warehouse. Nadeen and her parents pull
up to the cash register with a huge cart full of stuff. The cashier adds it up.
Cashier: That’ll be 175 dollars.
Mom: I’ll use my Mastercard.
Dad: (Whispering) It’s maxed out.
Mom: Well, I was planning to use the Visa
to buy groceries.
(Nadeen’s father pulls out an American
Mom: Where did you get that.
(Nadeen’s father pays for the stuff. Nadeen
and her fanmily exit.)
Cashier: Well, that’s what you can expect
from those kind of people
The cafeteria. Nadeen is sitting at a table
alone, eating her lunch. Devon comes up and sits beside her. He is wearing a
cowboy hat, Budweiser t-shirt, overalls, and old sneakers.
Devon: Hi, I’m Devon. I’ve seen you around
school. You like hip-hop. Well, so do I. I mean, I like all kinds of music
generally. I particularly like old school hip-hop. Seems so much more innocent.
‘course some of the new stuff’s good, too, the more underground stuff that’s
harder to find. I’ve seen you b-girlin behind the school sometimes. You should
enter the Hogtown Showdown.
Nadeen: There’s no way I’d ever get into
something like that, especially not by myself.
Devon: Well then, put together a crew and
enter the battle.
Nadeen: Are you kidding? Put together a
break dancing crew around here?!
Devon: No, I’m serious. Besides, this movie
needs something exciting to happen soon or most of the audience is going to
walk out of the theatre.
Nadeen: In that case I’ll do it.
The Hogtown Showdown. Nadeen, Maddie, Alia,
and Devon are standing at the entrance.
Maddie: I’m so excited.
Alia: Yeah, this is going to be our big
(They enter the club.)
Lexie: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome
last years champions.
(A huge cheer goes up. Four dancers come
onstage and start doing a ballet routine. Shouts are heard from the crowd.)
B-boy: Hey man, I thought this was a break
dancing competition, yo.
Lexie: Yeah, the flyer was misprinted. This
is a ballet competition. Sorry.
Crowd: Oh man.
Maddie: We can still win this thing. I was
forced to take ballet for ten years.
Alia: Me, too.
Devon: So was I.
Nadeen: But I don’t know a thing about
Maddie: Just follow my lead. Besides, it’s
not like we really have a choice. We either do this or go home with egg on our
(Nadeen, Maddie, Alia, and Devon step
onstage. Maddie starts ballet dancing and the others follow her lead. At the
end, Lexie claps.)
Lexie: All right, that was wonderful.
Anyone feel like coming up and challenging these girls?
Devon: And guy.
Lexie: I said, anyone feel like coming up
and challenging these girls?
(The crowd groans.)
Lexie: Then by default, first prize, second
prizes, all the other top places, and all the honourable mentions go to (looks
at registration sheet) Hydroforce.
(The crowd cheers. Mr. McTavish comes out.)
Mr. McTavish: As the owner of this club and
sponsor of this competition I’m so glad to present Team Hydroforce with this
honour. You turned in an electric performance. (The crowd starts throwing
bottles.) Tnb, I guess. Anyway, Maddie, Alia, Devon, and Nadeen, take a look at
all the fabulous prizes you’ve won. Wheel ‘em out, boys.
(The prizes are wheeled out by two burly
men. Team Hydroforce eagerly runs over to examine them.)
Maddie: There’s a sack of flour, a sack of
sugar, a cooler full of (opens cooler) meat, a bag of apples… Sir, what is all
Mr. McTavish: Well, we’re in Parkdale, you
see, and since I figured most of the competitors would be black, rather than
money I decided to award the winners things they would actually need. Give
these people money and they’ll just spend it on booze. (To Nadeen) Don’t worry.
No need to steal a car, we can cart all this stuff home in mine.