Friday, July 22, 2011


The Joker: Comedian Ron James incorporated lyrics from this song into one of his routeens.

I think I also remember Homer singing this on The Simpsons.

You're Sixteen: This song is so horrible.

The Way We Were: Barbara Streisand is truly the worst singer in the world.

There was a sketch on the CBC Radio show "Double Exposure" about people protesting logging in British Columbia. Barbara Streisand started singing as part of the demonstration and the trees fell down.

Sunshine On My Shoulders: John Denver was also a terrible singer.

They did a bit on "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" years ago that went something like "Scientists estimate that by the year 2000 many speces of monkies, tigers and parrots will be extinct. In other horrible news John Denver is touring again."

Once while watching CITY-TV, I heard the late great Mark Dailey say "Coming up on Great Movies, it's "The John Denver Story." It's a movie about a down-to-earth country singer who died when his plane suddenly became down-to-earth as well."

Band On The Run: I have the album "Band On The Run." It sucks.

Sundown: I have this album. It sucks.

Rock Your Baby: I have this album, too. It also sucks, but what's interesting is how long the album version of "Rock Your Baby" is.

You're Having My Baby: "You didn't have to keep it" Oh man, this song is so seventies.

I Shot The Sheriff: On "The Fresh Prince Of Bell-aire" I remember Will saying once "OK, Ok. I shot the sheriff, but I _did _not shoot the deputy."

Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Baby: Barry White was such a nigger.

You Ain't Seen Nothin Yet: I have the album with this song. It sucks.

Cat's In The Cradle: This is one of the saddest songs ever.

I was listening to Mix 97 one day during "The All Request Cafe." A guy phoned up requesting "Cat's In The Cradle." When the deejay asked him if he wanted to dedicate the song to anyone, the guy replied, "For my old man."

Friday, July 15, 2011


Pastor Peter John Peters, pastor of the Laporte Church Of Christ in Colorado and shortwave radio preacher, went on to be with the Lord July 7 at age 64.

Pastor Peters had been pastor of the Laporte Church Of Christ since 1978 and had been variously on AM, shortwave and the internet since 1987.

That man taught me more things than any other preacher, Christian author or other minister I have ever come across. Among the most important things he taught me were that the Law Of God is still in affect, the identity truth, that we do have power as Christians and are not helpless, and that you should always stand up for the truth.

Pastor Peters also gave me my first radio job as a copy writer.

Cause of death is believed to have been exhaustion.

Thursday, July 14, 2011


You're So Vain: Who the buck cares who this song's about.

Crocodile Rock: My parents have the tape of "Elton John's Greatest Hits." I can remember listening to it when I was five years old and we still had the farm. It holds a special place in my heart and contains this song.

Love Train: This song is so stupid.

My Love: I have the album with this song. It sucks.

We're An American Band: From every talk show you've ever listened to.

Angie: "Goatshead Soup" refers to Bacus, the Greek goat god.

Midnight Train To Georgia: I once heard this on the CBC Radio 2 show "Tonic", a jazz program. How does this song qualify as jazz?

Keep On Truckin: This song was used in "Reservoir Dogs."


Got a call last night. It was an automated message in French. From the little French I understand (I dropped it after Grade 10), I gathered it was some university students taking a survey about media and new technology. After a while, the message said, "To continue in English, press 3."

Though this may have been perfectly legit, people doing this sort of thing need to know that, with all the telemarketing scams that involve pressing numbers, this is something that will keep people from participating in their survey.

Friday, July 8, 2011


American Pie: This song of course has a lot of hidden symbolism. For example, there is the line "the jester stole his thorny crown." The Jesters were a group of free masons down in Texas.

Steve Martin once made a joke about trying to break the record for most consecutive listenings of "American Pie."

Heart Of Gold: This song is self-absorbed and crummy.

I once saw this awful play about these guys who go out into the woods on a camping trip and talk about things like feminism and their psychological problems. At one point, the one guy has a kind of emotional breakdown and they all start singing "Heart Of Gold."

Horse With No Name: This is one of the best songs ever written.

On an episode of the early nineties sitcom "The Empty Nest", the character of Charlie Deets starts singing this song at a carioke bar. Harry, the main character, turns to Maxeen, the woman/man (honestly, I'm not sure which) he works with and says, "Charlie's really beltin it out." Maxeen replies, "Yeah. If he keeps it up, I'm gonna belt him."

Candy Man: There was a parody of this song on The Simpsons called "The Garbage Man."

Lean On Me: Even though this song sucks, it made me think of a somewhat pleasant memory. In Grade 6, I was walking across the schoolyard, upset about something. I was talking to my friend and she put her arm around me and said, "Lean on me." Then she started singing the first few bars of the song.

Alone Again (Naturally): I have the album with this song. It sucks. It doesn't help that Sugar Ray made reference to it.

Black And White: Here is the thing about desegrigation of schools. Black people generally tend to learn slower. I'm not saying their stupid, I'm just saying they tend to learn slower. When black people were in the all black schools, they would appear on local TV quiz shows (remember local TV programming?) and would do very well. When the schools were integrated, the black students found they couldn't keep up with the pace of learning geared toward the white students, so they began to fall behind. The results are what you see with regards to black children in public schools today.

My Ding-a-Ling: When I was fourteen, my friends and I would talk about this song and laugh.

Chuck Barry's music is bolted to the side of the Voyager spacecraft. Unfortunately, the aliens will all have IPods and won't be able to play it, if they even have any concept of what a bucking record or even what are bucking spaceships look like.

I Can See Clearly: I first heard about this song on one of those direct response ads for CDs. The album was called "Thirty Gay Anthems."

Papa Was A Rolling Stone: Imagine a middle aged white woman singing this at a jam session.

I Am Woman: I have the album with this song. It sucks.