Wednesday, February 16, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

A Hard Day’s Night: My parents have this album. It isn’t very good.

There is a take off of this song with Peter Sellers speaking the lyrics.

House Of The Rising Sun: I think my parents also have this album. It isn’t very good either, but it is interesting in that it shows you what albums were like back then: the hit and a bunch of other songs filling up the album because single sales still outpaced album sales in those days.

At a jam session once, I heard a guy sing “Amazing Grace” to the tune of this song, kind of like these people are doing.

Baby Love: This is the only Motown song I actually like.

Leader Of The Pack: The following is going to be kind of stream of consciousness:

Yeah, let’s ask her how great it is riding with him. Wouldn’t they have already known he was dead? I mean, even though they were probably illiterate and couldn’t read the paper, you would think one of their parents would of read it to them out of the paper or the principal would have announced it over the PA system. I mean, did they not even go to the funeral?

Don’t they notice she isn’t exactly eager about talking about him?

“I met ‘im at the candy store.” Yeah, because that’s where I go to pick up chicks all the time, unless “The Candy Store” refers to some seedy bar someplace where they don’t check ID.

“My folks were always putting him down,
They said he came from the wrong side of town.”

Sure, just because he has numerous armed robbery convictions and constantly has blood on his leather jacket for some reason and he’s 27 and you’re sixteen, I mean parents just don’t understand teenagers sometimes.

“I felt so helpless,
What could I do?”

I don’t know, maybe say “screw you, Mom and Dad, I’m gonna date him anyway?” That’s what a lot of other teenagers would do.

(Well, actually, that’s from another part of the song, but it still applies.)

“Look out, look out, look out.”: Chick, he’s not failing to notice the oncoming car; he’s committing suicide because he can’t go out with you anymore. I presume he was hit by an oncoming car. The song mentions it was a rainy night, but you can’t exactly “look out” for the slippery road beneath you.

Then, she mentions how, in school, she can’t hide her tears but she doesn’t care. Watch her get some mean bitch of a teacher who doesn’t care her boyfriend died. “Either stop crying or go to the principal’s office.”

I would have loved to see what this song would have looked like if there’d been music videos back then.

Ringo: Ever notice that every episode of Bonanza has a new world order theme?

I’m sure the fact that The Beatles were popular and the fact the title of the song was “Ringo” had nothing to do with its success.

Mr. Lonely: I’m not sure if the original version or the sped-up version by Akon is worse.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Monster Mash: Pastor Peters has done a take off of this song called “Serpent Mash.”

Telstar: This is a wonderful simple song. It sounds contemporary, even today.

Sukiyaki: This song helped with feelings of animosity Americans had toward the Japanese after World War II.

Dominique: I think my parents have this album. It sounds like what an album released by a nun would sound like.

How many people objected to this record being on the charts back then?

I Want To Hold Your Hand: This song is so innocent compared to the songs you hear today.

The Beatles were allowed to get famous because of the influence they could have on people. In a 1967 documentary for CBC radio entitled “How The Beatles Changed Rock And Roll”, George Martin said that when he first heard them, he thought that none of the specific things that make musicians good was present, “but there was something about them.”

She Loves You: There was not a huge group of girls standing outside the night The Beatles played the London Paladeum; there were maybe about eight, according to a newspaper reporter who was there.

Take offs of this song include the British comedy sketches with two old English guys speaking the lyrics and two drunk Australian guys doing the same thing.

Can’t Buy Me Love: This is not one of The Beatles best songs, but it shows their potential.

Hello, Dolly: This shows you that, even in the era of rock and roll and Beatlemania, jazz and standards type stuff was still popular with a lot of people.

Louis Armstrong was truly one of the greats. It’s amazing he was as great a singer as he was with the kind of voice he had.

Love Me Do: This song only has thirteen original words but is so beloved by so many people.

When you listen to this song, you can really hear how The Beatles were influenced by black artists.

World Without Love: I have the album with this song on it. It isn’t very good.

This song reminds me of an old mix tape my mom has.

I Get Around: Despite what Brian Wilson did with Pet Sounds and Smiles, The Beachboys still come off as complete airheads.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

DOUGLAS COUPLAND: GENERATION HUH?

In his 2009 novel “Generation A”, Douglas Coupland makes some ridiculous assertions.

Christians were happy when the bees started to die because it proved man’s superiority over nature?: We were the ones warning people that colony collapse disorder signaled bigger troubles ahead when everybody else was saying, “It’s OK. I don’t eat honey anyway.”

Christians in their early twenties don’t have doubts?: Actually, the early twenties are when you have the most doubts, not when you’re older as Coupland seems to think. Young Christians go to college and, in addition to facing teachings about evolution and that the Bible is just a bunch of fairy tales, they are overwhelmed by their fellow students utter lack of care about how they lead their lives.

Christians would approve of a man beating a dog with a 2 by 4 because the dog doesn’t have a soul?: I haven’t run across any Christian who sanctions cruelty to animals.

Diana gets excommunicated from her Baptist church.: You can’t get excommunicated from the Baptist church! This is the most absurd thing in the book so far.

“Ideologies are for people who don’t trust their perceptions of the world”?: Seems a lot of people have “trusted their perceptions of the world” and have ruined their lives in the process.

Chloe And The Death Of The Channel 3 Newsteam: The New Vision cult in Diana’s story could be in reference to the kind of imprecatory prayers Pastor Peters has been praying. Coupland is a Jew and many of the famous, big important people in the world are Jews. Therefore, could Coupland know that our imprecatory prayers against people in high places will wipe most of the Jews out? Time to take Doug before the heavenly courtroom:

“Lord, we, meaning myself and someone else who happens across this blog and agrees with me, bring before the court Douglas Coupland. We know you know to which Douglas Coupland we refer. This man is charged with being a homosexual, as he admitted in 2006. Please carry out the appropriate penalty upon Douglas Coupland, as is found in the book of Leviticus. In Jesus name, Amen.”

So people like us are freaks? You’re going to eat those words when you’re burning in Hell.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

GAINING THE WORLD AND LOSING YOUR SOUL

There is a famous verse in the Bible about "what shall it profit a man if he gainith the whole world and loseth his own soul."

Many Christians want to gain the world through material things. Yet, a greater problem in the church today (although this has probably always been a problem for God's people) is Christians wanting to gain the world by having a good reputation in the world.

In many situations, including at a place I used to volunteer, the attitude was, "Well, we can't say that to the people who come in here looking for help because that will offend them and they won't come back which means we can't continue to preach the gospel to them." Yet, we were passing up an opportunity to share Christ's truth with the people, thereby stringing them along and not telling these people the sincere truth of God's word, although, we need to be tactful as well as relying on the Holy Spirit for the wisdom when to speak and when to stay silent.

Another example of wanting to have a good reputation in the world occurs in many youth groups and college Christian fellowship groups. A prevailing creed of these kinds of groups many times is, "We're Christians, but we're not weird." Well, actually, yes, we Christians are weird. Peter calls us a "peculiar people." Teenagers who don't care about doing the same things as the other kids, twenty-somethings who don't get drunk every weekend or try to jump into bed with every girl they see, adults who realize there are higher things in life than just doing what ever you have to do to survive and get ahead from day to day; yes, Christians are weird.

What's more, the ones who truly want to follow Jesus and be strange in the eyes of the world should not, and don't, make any apologies for it.

Since first writing this post, I have come to see that, while the above definition of peculiar certainly holds true for Christians, the meaning as it is used in 1 Peter is the somewhat archaic one of "special, chosen, etc" as in "the odour of a certain type of cleaning fluid is peculiar to this high school." Here is an article about the use of "peculiar" in this way.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Mr. Custer: I first heard this song when I was nine years old. It was on an album my parents had called “Nutty Numbers.” I was obsessed with this song for a while. I played it and the album over and over again.

My aunt called this song “Mr. Custard.”

“Please Mr. Custard with Kool-Whip on it.”

Save The Last Dance For Me: This song always makes me think of the beginning of Pat Conroy’s novel “Beach Music.” Shyla, the wife of the main character, commits suicide by jumping off a bridge while “Save The Last Dance For Me” (Shyla and Jack’s song) plays on the car’s cassette player.

Georgia On My Mind: I would like to take this opportunity to say just because I’m blind, that doesn’t mean I like Ray Charles. Can you people get that through your heads? In fact, I think he led a horrible lifestyle and was a nigger in many ways. I hear his music and think, “This guy’s supposed to be one of the greatest singers in the world?” It’s too poppy!

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: This is a song that was meant for the teeny boppers listening to top 40 radio, but which is actually quite adult and mature.

Mother-in-law: I first heard this song on “Finkleman’s 45s” on CBC in the mid-nineties. My aunt and uncle were down for a visit and the next morning my aunt said she had heard the song coming from my room. She then started to sing it.

Surrender: Sounds like a rip-off of “Secret Agent Man.”

Moody River: Ever notice that, in the old songs, women who cheated on their significant others or men who had affairs with other guy’s women always ended up dying, either getting killed by an avenging spouse or taking their own lives with guilt? This shows you that the songwriters back then had God’s law concerning adultery on their hearts.

Now, in a song or in real life when a partner (usually a boyfriend) cheats, the girlfriend thinks, “Moneymaker!”

Quarter To Three: Sounds a lot like “School Is Out.”

Also, the mention of “Daddy G”, referring to the singer, Gary US Bonds, makes it sound self-indulgent; a precursor to the self-indulgent rap music of today.

Wooden Heart: I think I might have the album this song comes from, but it could be an Elvis album.

Michael: This has basically been reduced to a children’s song.

Take Good Care Of My Baby: This song always makes me think of someone dropping a baby off at an orphanage.

Big Bad John: Double Exposure did a parody of this song with Bob Robertson as Jean Cretien. The only line from the verses I remember is:

“One night a prowler break into my house.”

The Lion Sleeps Tonight: My friend was obsessed with this song when we were eleven years old.

The lion in this song actually refers to the Lion Of Judah, Jesus Christ and his people. The message from these three Jews was, “Don’t worry, fellow Jewish people. The lions of Judah are asleep. We can carry out our evil deeds and not get caught.”