THE DISSOLVING OF THE WORLD BY ALLURING ENTICEMENTS

When we follow the leaders

of deceptions and lies,

Our ways become wicked

and our soul will soon die.

When we no longer see truth,

Only the evil and comply

To walk in the terrors of darkness

away from the light of the sky.

Doug 

TECHNOLOGY AND THE MONSTER THAT CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER YOUR BED

Distractions by temptations.

Antifa, Black Lives Matter, drones of the ey and the apron and the shadow of evil that darkens our way.

The insanities of gender deceptions and the agenda that murders our soul.

The genocidal lie about hydroxy chloroquine, namely that it doesn't work. Death to the sers is power to the rulers of the age we are in.

A following of the blind leading the blind into the deceptions of mankind and into the truth of reality when God has left you and allowed you to stray. This is what it has become and where it is going to lead to is nowhere you want to be.

The fear of God sweeps away the power of evil, the power of Christ's prayer keeps evil away and the Spirit of truth is the power over evil through faith.

The sign of the times that not many see: the pyramid, the all-seeing eye and the clock face with no hands. We are in the time of a clock with no hands and the blindfolding of man's mind.

The fear of evil is weakness; the fear of God is power over the evil ways that haunt our minds. How many more will die for the right of women to do whatever they please with the life in their womb and how many more women will suffer this fate.

In this world, only a fool is truly wise. 1 Corinthians 3 18-19 

Doug

POISONING THE MIND

The insane lies of gender deceptions to achieve the gain of function that disrupts the minds of children in order to transition them into nonfunctional sex serfs of the new virtual way.

The frontal lobotomy that removes all turths and freedoms of choice made through the prefrontal cortex to manipulate it into the new world order that is now their life. With Jesus removed, life becomes hopelessj, then submission becomes a way of existing and you begin to want death because tomorrow is not worth living anymore when the knowlege of God's truth is gone.

Doug 

DAYS OF NOAH, DAYS OF LOT

A reminder and a warning of the covenant that is the rainbow in the sky: God's promise not to flood the whole world into oblivion again.

God's purpose for sex: the gift of arousal between a man and a woman in marriage that is designed to create a bonding into one that brings new life into the world and the following of our Lord in Heaven. 

All other kinds of sex are sin. Romans 1

Doug 

AS WE MOVE TOWARD A REVELATION 13 BEAST GOVERNMENT

Riot police, raised on violent video games, movies and television because if they were being advertised a lot and everybody else wants one it must be good beat those protesting the COVID measures.

In a world that has gotten rid of the Christian paradigm of righteousness and wickedness, of God and Satan who are not just personifications of these concepts but the real orchestrators of them, the majority of people go along with the government's agenda. This isn't because they care about protecting others because, indeed, most of them care about themselves and themselves alone , but because in a worldview that has gotten rid of any workable afterlife they only care about prolonging their miserable lives one more day. Thus, they are willing to follow whatever governments, corporations and their other gods, among them singers, actors, professional athletes, and those famous for being famous tell them.

Likewise, those who call themselves Christians are willing to go along with all this because they have, at best, become believers only in the sense they give mental assent to the idea that God is out there. At worst, they worship Jesus and Satan, either directly or indirectly, at the same time.

At these people's useless, social club churches the Baal-worshiping, incompetent, slow-witted ministers do not even preach the whole milk of the Word as defined by the writer of Hebrews, much less the meat which would help to prevent this mindset.

If you don't know Jesus who is the truth then you probably aren't going to accept anything else that's true either.

People, especially in my non-country of Canada, will be perfectly happy to accept a universal basic income because many of them are lazy and feel no need to contribute to society in any way, shape or form.

The self-driving car will take you where it wants to go at the time it wants to transport you provided you are even allowed to leave your house in the first place. In the same way, your smart fridge will order cheese if and when you have been allowed that week's tiny ration of cheese. Otherwise, keep eating your artificial, non-nutritious food cube once a day so you can keep getting dumber than a bag of rocks. Hey, as long as you're protected from the boogeyman do jour, you'll love it, right?

It was your keep up with the Jones' mindset that got you enslaved to all this smart technology in the first place and propelled you and the other obsolete workers into the useless class due to automation.

THE FEAR OF PRIDE

The deathdemic of evil ways.

In Satan's way we will follow with a mask on our facce as we believe it will save us from the virus of the smokescreen that brings us to the death of the fire we do not see as we become more blinded from the light of life by the blinkers of pride and the need for what we think we want as the truth of what we all know we need leads us to stray into the mouth of the one who will chew us up and then spit us out into the lake of fire burning sin. 

God's Bible is the book about the truth of evil that doesn't want you to read it. Revelation 6 8

Doug

BROKEN MINDS

What children should be learning in school is what they become in life is not about the colour of their skin but about the content of their character and reading, writing and the science of math are the tools that build this character.

A wife is a woman who is married to a man in the marriage covenant of God. Sex is an act of bonding into the love that brings a man and woman to become family.

Doug 

PARODY TIME-GO ASK ALICE

GO ASK ALICE

 

September 30

Wonderful news, diary. We’re moving. Daddy has been invited to become the dean of basket weaving at another school in another town. Isn’t that exciting? Maybe it will be like it was when I was younger. Maybe Daddy will travel to Bangladesh every summer and we’ll get to go with him like we used to. Those were the fun fun times. I’m going to start on a diet this very day. I will be a positively different person by the time we move to our new town. Not one bite of chocolate or nary a French-fried potato will touch my lips till I have lost ten glumpy pounds of lard. Then I’ll eat chocolate and French fried potatoes like they’re going out of style and gain the weight back again.

 

October 10

I’ve lost three pounds and we’re busy getting sort of semi-organized to move. The house is up for sale and Mom and Dad have gone to look for a place in the new town. I’m staying here with Tim and Alexandria, and as much as you’ll be surprised, they don’t even bug me. We’re all excited about moving, and they do whatever I tell them about helping with the house and meals and such. Well, almost. I guess Dad will be taking over the new position at mid-term. He’s as excited as a little boy and its like old times. We sit around the table and laugh and joke and make plans together. Its great. Tim and Alex insist they have to take all their toys and junk. Personally, I’d like to get a whole new everything, except my books, of course. They are part of my life and plus it would be stupid to throw them all out and buy new copies.

 

December 14

I want to get Dad an office-warming gift for his new office, so he’ll put it on his desk and look at it and think of me, even when he’s in really really really important conferences with all the leading brains in the world, or whatever he does at his job.

 

January 1

Last night I went to a New Year’s Eve party at Scott’s place. The kids got a little wild. Some of the boys got drunk off milk. I went home early. I’m so excited about moving in two days I’m beside myself. I’m sure I won’t sleep at all for the next two nights. Imagine moving to a new house in a new town in a new county in a new state all at once. Well, I guess that’s what a lot of people do.

 

Scene 1

A drugstore. Alice enters and goes up to the counter.

Alice: I’d like a chocolate malt and a double order of French-fried potatoes, please.

Waiter: Sure. (He prepares the food. She takes it and goes to a table. The waiter comes and sits beside her.) You knew in town?

Alice: Yes. My family just moved here.

Waiter: I’ve lived here all my life. Did once meet a guy, though, who met Francis X. Bushman. You know who he was?

Alice: No.

Waiter: He was Hollywood’s first star. Never saw any of his movies, but meeting the guy who met him was interesting, though. Did I ever tell you about one of the times I took the bus to the doctor’s office?

Alice: No.

Waiter: Well, I walked to the bus stop, waited for the bus and got on. The bus drove past a house, then another house, then another house, then another house, then another house, then another house, through an intersection, past a convenience store, a little market … you’re starting to see them around a lot less. I go into these big supermarkets now and I stand there and ask where things are and the clerks show me. Funny thing is, I’ve just gotten in the store and haven’t started looking for things. So, anyway, the bus is passing the small market, and its passing and its passing and then it goes past another house, and an apartment building, and another house, and another house, and another house, and another house, and another house, and another house. When I’m on my lunch hour, I like to sit in the park. I sit by a tree. When people pass, I say, “So, going by the tree, eh?” I own this drugstore. When I go on my lunch hour, I hang a sign on the door saying Closed For Lunch Be Back At 1:00, but I never say a.m. or p.m. Sometimes I sit in the park for hours, even days.

Alice: Could I have a Hershey bar, please?

Waiter: Sure. (Alice and the waiter go over to the counter. The waiter gets the Hershey bar.) The thing I like about the Hershey bar is it’s the same since 1898. I used to eat these things all the time. I’d open it, then take a bite, then another bite, then another bite, then another bite. I used to play baseball. I’d go up to bat, then hit the ball, but only if it was pitched to me, or not, if I missed. I’d run around the bases sometimes. First, second would usually follow, then third.

(The waiter has failed to notice that during this last speech, Alice has paid for the Hershey bar and left the store.)

 

Scene 2

The living room of the new house. Alice and Gerda enter. She resembles a member of the East German Women’s Olympic swim team.

Alice: Mom, Dad, this is Gerda.

Mom and Dad: Hello, Gerda.

Gerda: Hi, Alice’s Mom und Dat.

Dad: So, Alice tells me you’re in grade 11.

Gerda: Yah. I have mine own car. My fadder says he might be able to get me a job demolishing condemned buildings mit mine body soon. Alice and I are goving out for a drive, cruisink avound and dat sort of think.

Father: Oh.

Gerda: Vell, see you later.

(Alice and Gerda exit.)

 

Scene 3

Outside of Alice’s house. Bridge Over Troubled Waters plays on the car radio.

Alice: That was fun. We should do that again sometime.

Gerda: Yah. (Gerda puts the pedal to the floor and crashes into the house next door. The car catches fire.) I’m OK.

 

Scene 4

The kitchen. Alice and Beth enter.

Alice: Mom, this is Beth.

Mom: Hi Beth. Its nice to meet you. How are you?

Beth: Can’t complain. Wouldn’t do any good anyway.

Alice: Beth is Jewish.

Mom: Really. So, what does your father do for a living.

Beth: He’s a doctor.

Mom: Really. That completely surprises me. I’d ask you to stay for dinner, but we’re having roast pork.

Beth: Oh, that’ll be perfect.

Mom: Good. Then, after dinner I’ll take you girls shopping.

Beth: Oh, great. I love gaining material things.

Scene 5

Beth’s bedroom. American Woman plays on Beth’s radio.

Alice: So, is the Jewish much different than are religion?

Beth: Yes. In our religion, we can do whatever we want because we believe God is stupid and that we are gods and will rule the world someday.

 

Scene 6

Beth’s bedroom. Long And Winding Road plays on Beth’s radio.

Beth: My mom makes me go out with Jewish boys. They are her friends sons. They complain all the time because that’s what we Jews do, but its good because they have no backbone so you can treat them however you want. One of these nights, I’m going to set you up with “a nice Jewish boy” as my mother would say.

Alice: Oooh, I’d like that.

Beth: Yeah, he’ll love it too because you’re not Jewish and we regard all non-Jewish women as whores.

 

Scene 7

A porn theatre. Alice, Sammy Green, Beth, and Himy Finklestine are sitting in their seats. Sammy keeps trying to touch
Alice.

Sammy: My hair hurts. My face hurts. This pop is too warm. This popcorn is too cold.

Alice: I can’t watch this, Beth. I’m going to the lady’s room.

Beth: Oh, yeah, neither can I. I’m coming with you.

(They make their way to the lady’s room. After a few minutes, Sammy and Himy bang on the door.)

Sammy and Himy: Hey ladies, come out come out wherever you are. We’re going home.

(Alice and Beth come out of the lady’s room. The four of them walk out to Sammy’s car.)
Sammy: So, what did everybody think of the movie?

Himy: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Sammy: Yeah, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

 

June 18

Today I received the ghastly news that Beth is going to have to go away to summer camp for six weeks this summer. Her folks are going to Europe for the summer and they are sending her to Camp Concentration.

 

Scene 8

Jill Peters’ house. Alice enters. There is a party going on. Afton’s “First Day of Summer” album plays on the record player.

Alice: Hi, everyone. I brought my autograph book.

Jill: Alice, glad you could make it. Here, have a Coke.

Alice: Thank you. (She opens the Coke and drinks from it. Jill passes out Cokes to the other kids and they do the same. Alice starts laughing wildly. She sees blue, yellow and purple patterns going across the ceiling.) (In her head) These are so beautiful. I just have to share them with the others. (Out loud) A ga ga ag ga ag ga ag ga ga ag ga ga, oooooo. Ag ga ga ag ga ag du mu dunha mujuvirbridkh nun mazzzorogrorowo. (In her head) I’ve found the true and original language. This music is so beautiful.

(She starts seeing illusions. She starts dancing.)

 

Scene 9

Jill’s grandma’s guestroom. Alice and Jill enter.

Alice: So, what was with that Coke?

Jill: Oh, that was special Coke my dad brought home from South Africa.

Alice: Oh.

Jill: And it had acid in it.

Alice: Oh.

 

Scene 10

An abandoned field. Alice and Bill Thomson are sitting in Bill’s car.

Bill: Alice, have you ever tried torpedoes?

Alice: No.

Bill: Well, try some. (He hands her some. She takes them. She starts hallucinating.

 

Scene 11

An abandoned field by an airport hangar. Alice and Bill are sitting in Bill’s car.

Bill: Hey, Alice have you ever tried speed?

Alice: No.

Bill: Would you like to try some?

Alice: Sure.

Bill: OK, then (pulling out the needle) I’m going to have to give you a shot. (He fills the needle and injects it into her arm.) Hey, Alice have you ever flown a jet airplane?

Alice: No.

Bill: Then come on. (They get out of the car and go into the hangar. Bill opens the door of a jet plane.) Get in the pilot’s seat. I’ll be your co-pilot. Just put the key in the ignition, then push on the throttle. (The plane taxies down the runway and takes off. The plane flies crazily for a while.) Hey, Alice have you ever gone skydiving before?

Alice: No.

Bill: Then … we’re over a clearing right now. Head for those trees over there. OK, now strap your parachute on. (They strap their parachutes on.) Now, open the door and one … two … three. (They jump. The plane flies crazily for a while longer and then crashes in flames.)

Gerda: (From the flaming wreckage) I’m OK.

 

Scene 12

Bill’s house. Bill, Alice and six other kids are sitting on the living room floor. They have just dropped acid.

Alice: (In her head. Examining her hand) Wow, my hand is so intricate. All the muscles and cells and bone. (She picks up a box of matches, takes one out and lights her hand on fire.) And it’s always been on fire. I never noticed that before. Thank you, acid.

(She kisses her hand.)

 

Scene 13

Alice’s grandmother’s garden. A tapping is heard at the back gate. Alice’s grandmother answers it. Alice is standing there with her aunt, uncle and cousin.

Gran: John, Judy, Roger, how nice to see you.

John: We heard about your husband’s heart attack and wanted to come over to see him.

Gran: How nice of you. Come in. Alice, how about you and Roger go into the kitchen and get some drinks and chips and dip.

Alice: OK.

(They go into the kitchen, get the drinks, chips and dip and come out into the garden again.)

Roger: (To Alice) I’m going to military school for the next year and a half. Then I want to become an engineer for the military. I want to make a more powerful napalm and I’ve got some ideas about agent orange, too. I want to make it red and purple and yellow and blue.

Alice: Wow, its like something out of Jules Vern.

 

Scene 14

The dining room of Alice’s house.

Mom: Alice, you’ve got to eat something. You haven’t even touched your lamb chops. I thought they were one of your favourite dishes.

Alice: I haven’t touched them because you didn’t cook them.

Mom: Oh. (Picks up the lamb chops) This letter came for you today from Roger.

(She hands her the letter)

Alice: (Reading) Dear Alice,

Every day that goes by you leave me wondering if you’re all right. I am very concerned about you. I really care about you. If something were wrong with you I don’t know what I’d do. I am tormented with worry.

 

So, Alice please answer me this one question: are you all right?

 

All My Love

Roger

(Writing) Yeah.

 

Scene 15

The living room. Alice enters.

Alice: I’m so glad the doctor gave me these tranquilizers.

(She takes one. There is a knock at the door.)

Mailman: Hi, Alice. There’s a letter here for you from your Eastern Bloc pen pal Zlepvina.

Alice: Thank you. (She takes the letter and reads) Dear Alice,

Ourpresident, who was elected in our first democratic election recently has been overthrown and replaced by the brutal dictator Vecrema Dribarka. He is planning no changes, except to totally cut our country off from the rest of the world. It will also continue to not have a name. In celebration of his win, Dribarka is killing everyone.

 

The previous government’s death squads also continue to go from house to house killing everyone. They are burning down houses. They are almost at ours.

 

The crops were bad again this year. As a result, we have no food.
The water is still bad also so we have no water either. We have not eaten or drunk anything in eight years.

 

My permanently drunk uncle is staying with us for an undetermined period of time. He has beaten us severely and smashed everything in the house.

 

I continue to suffer from lice, tooth decay, severe pain throughout my entire body, a stabbing sensation in my foot, shingles, scabies and calloused heels.

 

The landlord was by this morning to take all our money.

 

As always, our family lives with the stigma of having the reputation for being the most dishonest, vulgar, slovenly family in the history of our land, which will only become even more superspectacular under our new dictator, who is bringing progress and is not just our leader to punish us for daring to hold a democratic election, and I’m not just saying that because he is standing over me holding a hot poker to my neck and pouring boiling hot oil over my head.

 

Write back soon.

 

Sincerely Yours,

Zlepvina Mijnvaablrumjakroooncefvojzynua

Neat. (She begins to write) Dear Zlepvina,

     Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Right on. Death is truly in the sunrise and Fay is riding a train. If we eat butterflies. The man in the shirt. Little baby Martians will come out of the UFO‘s. Hold me as a material witness, OFFICER, I’m guilty of somersaulting. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo PBEcause there’s three os in yahoo{.

     The sidewalks of dry wall being TOOOOO,OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the thing a the is and a the and is the a a is is IS )the liquid buildings of hippopotumusssesiy_

 

 

 

 

Sincerely MmEe,

The Legion Of quicksand

P.S. If your uncle likes booze so much I bet he’ll love torpedoes. I am enclosing some.

 

Scene 16

Richie’s house. The Bigroup’s album “Big Hammer” plays on the record player. Alice, Richie, Chris, and Ted are sitting in the living room.

Richie: I just discovered this new drug. Its called torpedo speed benny’s. Hey, Alice do you want to try it?

Alice: Sure. (They all try the drug. Alice picks up a peanut from a bowl on the coffee table.) Wow, are these peanuts ever salty.

Richie: Yeah, they’re those new salt peanuts.

Alice: Oh.

Richie: (Calling) Irving, Irving, Irving (A big-horned sheep comes out of the bedroom) Come on, let’s walk on him.

(They walk on Irving. Everyone except Alice eventually gets off. Irving heads for the door and goes out.)

Alice: Yippee.

 

Scene 17

Alice’s house. Richie and Alice enter. Alice’s parents are sitting in the living room.

Alice: Mom, Dad, this is Richie.

Mom and Dad: Hello, Richie.

Dad: So, Richie, what do you plan to do with your life?

Richie: I plan to finish college and get a respectable job of some kind. I also plan to get married and have children.

Dad: Exceptional.

Richie: Well, I have to be going now.

Dad: So long, Richie.

Mom: See you later, Richie.

Dad: That young man seems like a nice, clean-cut, respectable boy.

 

Scene 18

An apartment. Alice, Chris and the landlord enter. When the landlord opens the door, it swings crazily on its hinges and almost falls off.

Landlord: Well, there goes that bet with myself. This is one of my fine apartments. This is the living room/dining room/sitting room/parlour/den. Ha, ha, I love to tell that joke. This is the kitchen, which comes with a stove, of course. I love to tell that joke, too. (He turns on the stove and flames shoot out) You’re going to want to fix that. This is the bathroom (As they enter the bathroom, the bathtub falls through the floor) Don’t worry about that. Mr. Manson down the hall will let you bathe at his place.

Chris: Do you mean Charles Manson?

Landlord: Yes.

Chris: Groovy! I have all his records.

Landlord: So, are you going to take it?

Chris: I guess. We have no choice.

 

Scene 19

Shelia’s apartment. Shelia, Alice, Chris, Orson Welles, Walt Disney, Jimmy Durante, Katharine Hepburn, and Bob Hope are sitting around smoking marijuana.

Bob Hope: This reminds me of the time Carmen Miranda and I got high together. I ate all the fruit off her hat.

Katharine Hepburn: Yes, I have the munchies, too, but Orson Welles is eating up all the food.

Orson Welles: (With his mouth full) Muuuuooooooom.

Walt Disney: Hey, Alice, its me, Mickey Mouse, as a hummingbird. I’m going to drink nectar out of your head.

(He proceeds to do so.)

Alice: I knew moving to California was a good idea.

Chris: Yeah. Who’da thought the little town of California, just a thirty minute drive from where we used to live, would give us such cool experiences.

 

Scene 21

A psychiatrist’s office. Alice enters.

Psychiatrist: OH, Alice, hi. I’ve been expecting you. Have a seat. So, what have you come to see me about again?

Alice: I was referred here by my mother because I got caught smoking pot.

Psychiatrist: Really. Tell me all the details. I remember smoking pot at Woodstock. It was wonderful. Do you have any on you?

Alice: No. Wait a minute. Woodstock! That was just last year. No offense, Doc, but you don’t look young enough to have attended Woodstock.

Psychiatrist: No, not Woodstock ’69. No, I was referring to Woodstock ’49. No one knows about that one. My, it was wonderful. The big bands reformed, there were cowboy singers, sea chanties, blues, rhythm and blues. We really stuck it to the segregation man there, I’ll tell you. But, ah, where was I? Oh yes, from whom did you obtain this marijuana, where does he usually operate, what hours does he keep, and how would you rate it on a scale of one to ten? Now, I realize these may be difficult questions to answer, Miss Fictitious, but answering is the only way your case, and indeed, psychiatry as a whole can proceed forward.

 

Scene 22

Denver. Alice is walking down the street. Stan Firm comes up to her.

Stan: Hi.

Alice: Hello. How are you?

Stan: I’m fine. How are you?

Alice: Great. Hopefully things will be better now that I’ve run away from home.

Stan: Why’d you run away from home?

Alice: Because my parents were constantly nagging me about my hippy lifestyle and the fact that I use drugs.

Stan: Oh, what drugs do you use?

Alice: Acid, pot, torpedo speed Benny’s, uppers.

Stan: Have you ever sold?

Alice: Yeah, pot and acid.

Stan: You know what there’s a lot of money in?

Alice: What?

Stan: Raw milk. Do you wanna become a raw milk dealer?

Alice: Sure. OK.

Stan: Great. My name’s Stan. What’s yours?

Alice: Alice.

Stan: Well, follow me to my place and I’ll get you the stuff.

 

Scene 23

A house. Alice approaches the house with the raw milk just as the police are busting it.

Police Officer 1: (Dragging a man out of his house and beating him along with another officer) We’ll teach you to drink raw milk.

Alice: I’m getting out of here!

 

Scene 24

Portland. It is raining. Alice is walking down the street. She sees a clinic. She enters.

Alice: Hello.

Receptionist: Hey, man. What’s your hang-up.

Alice: I have a cold.

Receptionist: Well, walk right into Doc Benway’s office. Appointment books, schedules are just a waste of time. You shouldn’t have to be repressed by your cold just because you didn’t book an appointment.

Alice: Thanks. (She walks into Doctor Benway’s office) Doctor Benway?

Doctor Benway: Yes.

Alice: I have a cold.

Dr. Benway: Oh, well, the fuzz has cracked down so I can’t give you any pot, but I do have sea salt, direct from the ocean, and curry powder, direct from the Far East. They contain minerals and other ingredients to boost your immune system, thereby making your body able to fight off the cold.

Alice: Thanks. I don’t have any bread.

Dr. Benway: That doesn’t matter. Just pick me up a loaf of whole wheat and a loaf of rye when you can.

 

Scene 25

Portland. Alice is walking down the street. Doris comes up to her.

Doris: Hi, my name’s Doris.

What’s yours?

Alice: Alice.

Doris: Do you do drugs?

Alice: Yes.

Doris: Wanta be friends?

Alice: Sure. Do you live with your parents?

Doris: No. See …

 

Flashback

Scene 26

A school gym. Students are on the floor in their gym clothes.

Teacher: OK, gosh darn it, get your lazy flipping butts up and flipping exercise. I wanna see sweat coming out of those pores, and I mean trickling like a pleasant mountain stream.

Doris: Miss, I can’t do the exercise.

Teacher: Why not?

Doris: Well, you see, one of my ears is bigger than the other, not much bigger, but enough that you would notice it if you were looking through an electron microscope.

Teacher: Oh, and whose responsible for this?

Doris: My mother’s boyfriend. His physical abuse of me is what caused this.

Teacher: Well, we better get you under an electron microscope and have a look.

 

Scene 27

The science lab. Doris is lying under the electron microscope.

Teacher: You’re right. We better get you into a foster home.

 

Scene 28

The living room of the foster home. Doris and her four brothers are sitting on the couch and in chairs.

Brother 1: Hey, Doris, why don’t you cut down a tree with a herring.

Dorris: Stop it. Those are the kinds of hurtful thing Mom’s boyfriend used to say.

Brother 2: Take off your shoe. I want to read the paper.

Doris: Stop it! Stop it!

Brother 3: That bucket is really tall.

Brother 4: Yeah.

(Doris runs from the room screaming)

 

Scene 29

Jane’s apartment. Jane and Doris are sitting in the living room.

Doris: Oh, Jane, you’re my only real friend.

Jane: (Laughing maniacly) Why don’t you cut down a tree with a herring.

(Doris runs away screaming)

 

Present

Scene 30

A truck. Alice and Doris are sitting in the cab.

Driver: So, where are you girls headed?

Alice: Southern California, to the big hippy rally.

Driver: Really?

(He then proceeds to beat Doris. She starts crying. He stops beating her, then resumes after a while. Doris starts crying again and he again stops.)

Doris: Hey, Alice, want to switch places?

 

There follows a montage of hippies dancing around with rice crispy squares and Tang.

 

Scene 31

The backyard of the house where the hippy rally is taking place. Alice and a white-faced girl are lying side by side.

Girl: I’m pregnant.

Alice: Oh. What are you going to do with it?

Girl: Gonna keep it. It will be everyone’s. We will all share it.

Alice: Well, I hope you’re going to raise it specesless. That way, baby can decide whether they want to be an animal, vegetable or mineral for themselves.

 

Scene 32

The living room of the house in southern California.

Alice: Carl, I need a fix. Could you get me some coke?

Carl: I will if you do one little thing for me.

Alice: What’s that?

Carl: Become a raw milk dealer.

Alice: No, anything but that.

Carl: Well, its quite simple, really. No pushing the creamy gold, no cocaine.

Alice: OK, I’ll do it.

 

Scene 33

The living room of the house in southern California.

Hippy 1: OK, Alice, you’ve gotta do this if you want to become a true hippy.

Alice: What?

Hippy 2: Walk into a French restaurant, order a meal and ask for salt.

(Alice gasps)

 

Scene 34

Chez Mohammed’s. Alice enters and sits down. A waiter walks over.

Waiter: Bonjour madamoiselle. What would you like to eat.

Alice: I will have Le Salade, Le Hamburger and the Le Gateau Avec. What is that, exactly?

Waiter: That is a cake with everything else on the menu added to it.

Alice: OK, that sounds good.

Waiter: Excellent choices.

Alice: Say something in French again.

Waiter: Certainly. Le pomme mange le stylo.

Alice: Wow. And, could I have salt on Le Hamburger.

Waiter: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You stupid Americans, you want salt on your food, your mother was a human-size bottle of soy sauce and your father was the world’s smallest container of onion dip. We will never associate with you again, unless we need you to fight a war for us. But, since you are so pretty, I will get you your salt.

 

Scene 35

Our Lady Of Perpetual Need. There is a big offering box in the vestibule, the chapel and the hall. Alice enters, walks through these rooms, then goes downstairs. She sees an office with a sign on the door saying Beware The Calugo. She knocks.

Reverend Gomer Matlock: Come in.

Alice: Hello. My name is Alice. I was hoping I could talk to you.

Rev. Matlock: Go right ahead.

Alice: Well, I fell in with the wrong crowd and got involved in selling and doing drugs. I ran away from home last November to San Francisco. Then I returned home, then got involved in using drugs again. My friend’s parents caught my friend and I smoking pot, so I ran away to Denver, then Portland, then came here for the big hippy rally a while back. I’ve become a prostitute and a raw milk dealer.

Rev. Matlock: Well, do you want me to call your Dad to come and get you?

Alice: Yes, please.

Rev. Matlock: OK, what’s your phone number?

Alice: 1-000-000-0000.

(Reverend Matlock pulls a gun out of his pocket, which he mistakes for a phone and shoots himself in the foot eleven times.

 

Scene 36

The hallway of Alice’s school. Alice is walking down the hall. Monty comes up to her.

Monty: Hey, Alice, got any dope?

Alice: No, Monty. I don’t deal or use dope anymore. I have become clean, and from now on I’m going to concentrate on my schoolwork and get good grades and be nice to my family and make good, respectable friends.

Monty: Oh, man, I need some dope. (He starts shaking, then howling like a wolf. He pulls a gun out of his pocket, which he mistakes for a phone and shoots himself in the foot seven times.) Hello, Weeds, how much do you charge? … No, per gram. … You remove weeds, you don’t sell dope? … Oh, man.

 

Scene 37

Alice’s father’s office. Alice runs in.

Alice: Dad, Dad, someone put a joint in my purse.

Dad: Here, give it to me. (Alice hands him the joint and he throws it into the fire) Now, Alice, you’ve got to be strong. Kids will keep doing these things, but you have to not give in. You have to act like an adult. You can’t come running into my office every time something like this happens. You have to just be mature and throw it away. (He and Alice start laughing) So, in the words of Winston Churchill, “Never give in and act like an adult.”

Alice: Dad, Winston Churchill didn’t say act like an adult.

Dad: Oh, you’re right.

(They laugh hysterically)

 

Scene 38

The kitchen of Mrs. Larson’s house. Alice is babysitting. Jan enters, smoking a joint.

Jan: Yeah, let’s get this party started. (She pulls out a Jimmie Hendricks record and puts it on the record player) Come on, Alice, smoke some. It’ll be just like it was when we used to hang out in the old days.

Alice: No, get out.

Jan: Woooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo.

Alice: I’m going to call your mother to come and get you. I’ll use Mrs. Larson’s phone. That gun gag has pretty much spent itself. (She dials) Hello, Mrs. Jones. Your daughter is here. She is smoking dope and listening to Jimmie Hendricks. Please come and get her. … OK, bye. (She hangs up the phone, then takes the record off the record player. From the bedroom, the baby starts crying.)

Baby: waaaaaa, waaaaaaa, waaaaaaa, want more Hendricks.

Jan: (Screaming) Shut up, baby. You sound like a women’s studies major.

Scene 39

Mrs. Larson’s kitchen. Alice enters.

Alice: So, the baby’s fine, … oh, Mr. Larson must have left this Klondike bar for me. (She eats the Klondike bar. Fade into a commercial.)

Singers: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Anncer: Would you stand on one foot? (Stands on one foot) Would you walk backward? (Walks backward) Would you freak out like you were on an acid trip? (Alice is shown trying to dial the phone. She starts seeing psychedelic colours. She screams. A neighbour and her gardener come over. They lock her in the closet. She tries to tear the plaster off the walls in an attempt to get out.) Klondike Bars, available now in your grocer’s freezer.

 

Scene 40

The insane asylum. Alice and Babby are walking back to their rooms.

Alice: What’s your name?

Babby: Babby.

Alice: What are you in here for?

Babby: Well, its like this.

 

Flashback

Scene 41

A movie theatre. On the screen:

Two spaceships are going across the plains of the old west. A man, dressed up like a surfer and a woman are standing on the ground.

Man: I tell ya, baby, surfing is my life, and if I can’t have that because you want to give it up, I’m going to jump off this prairie and kill myself. (He jumps) I am dead now because I jumped. I committed suicide.

Man: Wow, just like in the real old west. Hey, you, pretty girl, what’s your name.

Babby: Babby.

Man: Well, who I am is not important. I’m your friend. (He steals her unopened chocolate bar) Do you need anything?

Babby: I need money to get out of here.

Man: Sure, I just need you to sell some raw milk for me first. That’s what a friend would do before he lent another friend money at 75 percent.

Babby: OK.

 

Scene 42

Los Angeles. Babby is walking down the street. A woman comes up to her.

Woman: Hi, do you need a job?

Babby: Yes.

Woman: Then I have a job for you. Let’s go into this bar and discuss it. (They enter the bar and sit down) Hey, bartender, where is everyone?

Bartender: Oh, they’re out back hanging some lousy queer.

Woman: Oh. Then we shall just find another, more crowded place to discuss our business. Good day to you.

(They exit.)

 

Scene 43

The woman’s apartment. Babby and four other girls are standing around, listening very intently to the woman.

Woman: So, you girls will be servicing the men. (A knock is heard at the door) There’s the first one now.

(The woman opens the door)

Man: I’m here to rescue all these girls. Come with me.

Woman: The magic plastic grocery bag said there’d be days like this.

 

Present

Scene 44

Alice’s room in the insane asylum. It is night. A woman is making sounds down the hall, such as thunder, the ocean, a jackhammer, a can being opened, and a busy signal. Alice shakes with terror.

 

Scene 45

The lawn of the insane asylum. Alice, Babby, Tom and some other kids are lying on the grass.

Alice: So, Tom, what are you doing here?

Tom: Well, I was a straight A student in junior high. Last year, when I graduated grade 9, my friends and I sniffed glue to celebrate.

 

Flashback

Scene 46

Tom and his friends are sitting on the living room floor of his house, laughing with empty bottles of glue beside them.

Tom’s Father: (From upstairs) What are you kids doing down there?

Tom: Nothing.

Tom’s Father: Don’t make me come down there. (They laugh some more. Tom’s father enters the living room) Oh, you’re sniffing glue. Well, feed the piranha before you go to bed.

 

Scene 47

New York. Alice’s father, mother, Alice, Tim, and Alexandra are walking down the sidewalk. People keep offering them drugs. They get on a subway, which is crowded, and end up standing by an old fat lady holding onto a strap.

Old Lady: If I were sitting, I’d give up my seat for you.

Tim: If you were sitting, you’d give three seats for us.

Mom: This is kind of a special trip for us. Our daughter’s just been released from the insane asylum.

Old Lady: That’s nice. Wanna buy some creamy gold?

 

Scene 48

Fawn’s house. Alice, Fawn, her father Buck, and her mother Doe are sitting on the patio.

Alice: I’m so glad you invited me over, Fawn.

Fawn: You’re welcome. My sisters and I do water chicken dance. Want to see?

Alice: Sure.

(Fawn jumps from the patio into the pool and starts doing the chicken dance)

 

Scene 49

The kitchen of Alice’s house. Alice enters.

Alice: I think I’ll overdose on drugs and kill myself. That way, no one can prove whether or not this whole thing actually happened.

(She opens the cupboard, takes out a bottle of pills and swallows them all. She then disappears. Her parents enter.

Mom: Hey, kids, we’re back from the movie. Hmmm, Alice is gone. Its like she never existed.

Dad: Beam me up, Scotty.

(He rises and disappears)

 

Closing credits.

 

Based on “Go Ask Alice” by Beatrice Sparks.     

MEDIA-RELATED STUFF

K-Lite Hamilton has switched to a classic hits format as The Bounce, thus ending what I believe was the last true lite AC station in Canada.

Picked up 98.9 Pure Country Kingston and Bob FM (now The Bounce) Brockville Sunday morning and Bob FM (now the Bounce) Lindsay Sunday night.

I like that First American Bank commercial with the grandmother and grandson.

So they have trigger warnings during reruns of "King of Queens" now?!

CBC Radio One Belleville is switching from 104.7 to 90.3.

BBC Radio Two, I do not consider Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" or Iggy Pop's "Love for Life" happy songs. Thus, they are totally inappropriate for "The Shiny Happy Playlist."

I like that program "Alone" that just wrapped up it's current series on BBC Radio Four. 

PARODY TIME-HERE'S TO YOU, RACHEL ROBINSON

HERE’S TO YOU, RACHEL ROBINSON

 

Scene 1

Miss Lefferts’s class.

Ms. Leferts: The three things you need to make a biography come alive are drug addiction, domestic abuse and extramarital affairs. So now that we’ve come to the end of our unit on biographies, I have an assignment for you. (Walks across the room) I want you to write a biography of Ben Shapiro, not an _autobiography, but a biography. Who can explain the difference? (Puts cigar between her teeth Max Wilson raises his hand.) Yes, Max.

Max: Autobiographies are written in cars.

Ms. Lefferts: Precisely. (A knock is heard at the door) Oh, the substitute French teacher has arrived. Come in.

(The French teacher enters)

Mr. Hufman: Hi, I’m Mr. Hufman. You know what, I’m gonna be totally honest with you, I don’t know one word of French so you can have this period as a study hour. That’s the life of a substitute teacher, he’s a fraud. He pretends to know stuff but doesn’t have a clue.

(Mr. Hufman exits.)

 

Scene 2

The house. Jessica is in a car with her friends, ready to go to her junior prom.

Hlin: Drive carefully!

Jessica: We always do.

(They speed away from the house)

 

Scene 3

The beach.

Allison: Tell me more about Charles.

Rachel: Well, he’s violent and always threatening people.

Steph: And he has a great sense of humour, that is, when he wants to. And he’s extremely cute.

Allison: Really? I didn’t know he was cute. If Charles comes home from boarding school, will he finish ninth grade at Fox? Maybe he’ll be in Jeremy Dragon’s class.

Steph: Oh, that’d be perfect.

 

Scene 4

The kitchen. The family is having dinner. Charles is wearing a t-shirt that says, “I don’t need your t-shirt … I have my own.”

Charles: So I think I’ll drop out for a while … maybe get a job or something.

Victor: That’s not an option.

Rachel: You have to be sixteen don’t you! And your birthday’s not until November.

Victor: Besides, you have no practical skills whatsoever.

Charles: Aha … the child prodigy speaks.

Nell: (Quietly) Its just a matter of finding the right school.

Charles: There is no right school for me! Don’t you get it by now? I’m allergic to school!

Jess: Excuse me, I’ve got to pick up my prom pictures before the drugstore closes.

Rachel: Excuse me, too, I have a ton of homework.

Charles: Those daughters of yours need to be taught some manners. They shouldn’t be allowed to leave the table when the rest of us are still eating. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it has something to do with me. I’d think they’re not really as glad to see me as they pretend.

Nell: They might be if it wasn’t for your attitude.

Charles: Attitude? If we’re talking attitude here—

Nell: Just stop it, Charles!

Victor: Nell … let it go.

Charles: Right. Let it go, Mom. We don’t want to upset Dad, do we?

Denis Miller enters.

Dennis Miller: Now, as much as I like to watch you go about this like the Three Stooges trying to fix a leaky tap, I feel I should interject here. Folks, Charles obviously has a lot of problems, and if you (to Jessica) wouldn’t be an older Lisa Simpson and correct Charles all the time, and if all of you wouldn’t be so sensitive, I think the Robinson household would be a fairly pleasant place.

(Dennis Miller exits.)

 

Scene 5

Mr. Taliban’s office. Rachel knocks on the door. A ticking sound is heard.

Rachel: I’m Rachel Robinson. You wanted to see me.

Mr. Taliban: Yes, you infidel dog, come in. Sit down. Be quick. I only have a minute. I’m going to martyr myself for … I have to go to lunch. (Pours some camels milk into a Taliban coffee mug.) Drink some. (He pours a second glass. Rachel drinks some and chokes.) No choking.

(He blows up.)

Rachel: Jeez, he could have at least counted my bananas.

 

Scene 6

Ms. Lefferts’s class. Rachel comes up to Ms. Lefferts’s desk.

Rachel: I really enjoyed that play you took us to on our field trip last week.

Ms. Lefferts: Rachel, I had no idea you were so interested in the theatre. I know someone who runs a direct-to-video film company.

Rachel: Well …

Ms. Lefferts: I know you’re busy, but I think making films for this company could be a very profitable experience. They’re making films about the Wolfman, and a film biography of Elizabeth Abbott, a slumlord from Calgary, Canada.

Rachel: I’ll—

Ms. Lefferts: That’s all I’m asking. That you give it your serious consideration. Because they really need people like you … that’ll work to scale.

Rachel: It sounds—

Ms. Lefferts: Oh … and I forgot to mention their cafeteria serves camel’s milk.

Rachel: Oooohhh, I don’t think I’ve ever had camel’s milk. Does it come in a cup or a glass.

Ms. Lefferts: I don’t know. Do you have a preference?

Rachel: Yes, I prefer cups.

Ms. Lefferts: Well … I’ll keep your preference in mind. They’d probably want you for a remake of “Creature From Dope Island” and a story of the life of Dana Plato.

Rachel: Dana Plato is my favourite.

Ms. Lefferts: (Putting hand on her own shoulder and squeezing lightly) Mine too, Rachel. Mine too.

 

Scene 6

The dentist’s office. Rachel is sitting in the chair. The dentist is reminiscent of Bobby Bittman from “SCTV.”

Dentist: So, Rachel, some ants and some elephants are playing football. An elephant runs toward the end zone. An ant has the ball. The elephant steps on the ant and squashes him. The captain of the ant’s team is very angry. “I was only trying to trip him,” the elephant says. Hmmm … are you wearing your retainer?

Rachel: I lost it.

Dentist: Well, you’re clenching your jaw again.

Rachel: I am.

Dentist: Uh-huh … and grinding you’re teeth, too, kind of like me when I see my paycheck. Everything all right in your life? (Rachel wiggles her fingers) Still getting all A’s in school?

(Rachel waves her hands around. She sits up and rinses.)

Rachel: This doesn’t have anything to do with school.

Dentist: Maybe not, but I’d still like to see you learn to relax. And so would your teeth. OK, I’m going to do an impression. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger as a doctor. “Its not a tuma.”  (Laughs) But seriously, honey, deal with whatever’s bothering you post haste.

Rachel: That’s kind of easier said than done.

Dentist: I know, but you’re a strong, intelligent girl. I’m sure you’re up to whatever challenge you’re facing.

(Pats his own shoulder.)

Rachel: Thanks for listening, doc. I’m glad you used to be a psychologist.

 

Scene 7

Rachel’s room. Allison materializes out of the mist.

Allison: I’d do anything for a room like this, even kill a guy like on that Family Guy episode.

Rachel: Its 1993. Nobody’s heard of Family Guy. (Muttering) And quit laughing when you’re supposed to be mad. Yeah, I carefully lay my clothes out the night before, like the woman I am.

Allison: Stephanie says that isn’t normal.

Rachel: Stephanie said that … about me? I’m going to have to kick her butt.

(Rachel is seen kicking Stephanie’s butt.)

Allison: See, that’s why no one likes you. (Charles opens the door.)

Rachel: You know you’re supposed to knock!

Charles: Bookplates are for jackasses. (Looking at Allison) So, what’s your ethnic heritage?

Allison: Whatever you want it to be, you absolutely perfect example of manhood.

 

Scene 8

Victor and Nell’s room. Rachel knocks. Victor answers the door. A shower is heard running.

Victor: What can I do for you?

Rachel: I need to ask you a very important question.

Victor: OK, … shoot. Rachel …

Rachel: On Gilligan’s Island, if the professor could make a radio out of coconuts, why couldn’t he make a boat?

 

Scene 9

The front door of the house. Paul Medeiros is standing there. Charles appears, wearing a t-shirt that says “all stressed out and nowhere to joke.” Paul enters. He is a cockney.

Paul: So you’re Charles’s older sister, then?

Charles: No, this is my _baby sister.

Paul: She sure don’t loo’ li’ a baby.

Charles: Looks can be deceiving. She’s just thirteen.

Paul: Then you’re the musician, then?

Rachel: Well, I love music but I’m not that good.

Charles: She’s only a child prodigy.

Rachel: Charles … I am not!

Paul: (Playfully pushing Charles towards his room) OK, kid, time to crack them books.

 

Scene 10

Rachel’s room. Loud music can be heard. Rachel, Stephanie and Allison go downstairs to Charles’s room. Rachel knocks on the door. It opens. Charles, Marcella, Adrienne, Jeremy, and Dana Carpenter are sitting on the floor drinking beer and smoking marijuana.

Charles: Hey, Rachel. Boys To Men. Hey, girls, come in. Have a beer … have a joint.

Rachel: Nooooooooooooo. (She runs up to her room.)

 

Scene 11

The kitchen. Paul and Charles are seen coming out of Charles’s room.

Charles: Is Dana here?

Rachel: Out front.

Charles: You could have invited her in.

Rachel: You didn’t mention you were expecting company.

Paul: (Dropping arm around Charles’s shoulder) No distractions durin’ our time together, eh. Ask the bird to come back at five-thir’y, OK.

Charles: OK.

(Goes toward front door)

Paul: So, wha’ abou’ you, eh, Rachel?

Rachel: _What about me?

Paul: You go’ a boyfriend?

Rachel: No! I have to practice now.

(Runs from the room)

Paul: When am I gonna ‘ear you play?

Rachel: Whenever ….

Paul: I bet you play beautiful. I bet you tinkle them ivories like the sound of me old man breakin’ the dishes when ‘e’s off ‘is nut of a Sa’urday night.

 

Scene 12

The kitchen. The family is having dinner. Hlin and Roddy are having dinner with them.

Hlin: Its all about goals, isn’t it? In our life studies class we had to write down where we hope to be five years from today, then ten, then twenty. It really got me thinking.

Victor: What _are your goals, Hlin?

Hlin: Well, I don’t want to discuss my career goals, but one of my personal goals is to kiss the lead singer of every rock band. (To Charles) It would be a good course for you to take. Talk about someone who needs to clarify his goals!

Charles: So, Hlin, where’s your husband?

Hlin: As far as I know, Bill is still hang gliding. We have almost no contact.

Charles: (To Roddy) Poor little guy!

Hlin: He doesn’t need your pity. He’s going to be just fine.

Charles: That’s the spirit. Defy nature, Roddy my fine young man. Just because psychology proves a boy needs a father doesn’t mean things won’t be a hundred percent different in your particular case. Play Russian roulette with his well-being, why don’t ya. This is just an obstacle in his life. I’m surrounded by my obstacles. My father, the _Indifferent One, … my mother, the excuse-making wimp … and my little sister, the perfectionist child prodigy.

Victor: That does it. No telling the truth in this house.

 

Scene 13

A destroyer in the Pacific ocean. The Robinson family is fighting a Japanese destroyer.

Nell: Cover me.

Victor: Your not dying on my watch.

(They continue to battle.)

 

Scene 14

The counsellor’s office.

Jessica: Well, I don’t want to be hear, but I have to be. Its because of Charles. He takes up all our time and energy. I’m exhausted living in the same house as him. Its like being slowly poisoned.

Counsellor: And you, Miss …

Rachel: Rachel. Well, for me I guess it’s a matter of, well, you know, I’ve got my music, and my various school activities, and I’m a budding actress, and, you know, I have goals and really want to do a lot with my life, and, frankly, if there are people around like Charles here who don’t care about their future or where they’re going to end up in life than I just can’t achieve what I want to.

Counsellor: You mean to say Charles interferes when you’re trying to practice the piano or study?

Rachel: Well, no, it’s just, well, when I grow up, people will be like, “Oh, there was someone in her house who wasn’t as much of an overachiever so, therefore, we aren’t going to hire her at our company or give her any opportunities.”

Counsellor: I see. What about you, Mrs. Robinson?

Nell: Well, for my part, Doctor, my philosophy when it comes to bringing up children is rather simple, though brilliantly enlightened, if I do say so myself. You see, Doctor, I’ve always believed that since we are living in the latter half of the twentieth century and have all the modern technology and advanced ways of approaching things and viewing things we do now that I, as a parent, shouldn’t have to deal with any problems. In other words, children shouldn’t present me with problems in the first place. Now I’ve been proven correct, meaning of course that I am 100 percent correct, with Jessica and Rachel. However, the fact that Charles does not wish to take upon himself the reasonable task of orienting his life from childhood toward becoming a high profile member of society upon attainment of adulthood is totally unreasonable and something with which, I reiterate, I should not, and will not deal.

Victor: I agree, Doctor. In fact, that’s why we sent Charles to boarding school in the first place: so we wouldn’t have to deal with him.

Counsellor: Well, frankly, after listening first to Charles and then bringing all of you in to hear your sides of the story I don’t know what to do. Charles obviously has a different view of life, or at least of his teenage years than the rest of you and if none of you are willing to take a balanced approach to helping Charles to see that he does have to eventually do something with his life while at the same time respecting the fact he wishes to take a different path to success than the more traditional one you’ve chosen then I can’t help you. Without give and take on the part of young Charles’s family there may indeed be nothing that can be done.

Victor: (Flies into a rage) I knew it was a mistake to accept a goy counsellor. When our kind finishes taking over the world you will be the first to be killed.

(He storms out followed by the rest of the family.)

 

Scene 15

The train. A man with a canvas gym bag is sitting across from Rachel and Jessica. He opens the bag and a dog sticks his head out. The man pulls out a Dixie cup and feeds the dog ice cream from a spoon. Rachel and Jessica laugh.

Man: Laugh at me some more and I’ll kill you.

 

Scene 16

The ferry. Victor and Charles are standing at the rail.

Charles: Well, I’m glad you finally agreed to come with me on this field trip to Ellis Island at least.

Victor: Public school is your last stop, Charles. Mess this up and you’re out of my house.

Charles: Dad, I just don’t understand why you and the rest of the family can’t see it my way. I mean, sure, you’re a lawyer, Mom’s an accountant, Jessica’s an it-girl, and Rachel’s a child prodigy whose good at several other things besides. Me, though, I’m not like that.

Victor: But don’t you want to actually do something with your life? Do you not have any goals, dreams, ambitions?

Charles: Yes, Dad, as a matter of fact, I do have goals, dreams and ambitions. They just aren’t the same kind as what all of you seem to want for yourselves.

Victor: Then just what, pray tell, are they?

Charles: Well, Dad, honestly, I want to get into dealing. I actually like people a lot and I like for people to have a good time, so I feel I’d be really good at hooking people up with whatever stuff they needed.

Victor: Charles, you know why I finally agreed to come to Ellis Island with you and your class, don’t you?

Charles: Well, I know our family originally came here from Poland and entered America via Ellis Island.

Victor: That’s right. What you don’t know about our family’s past, however, is that back in Poland the Rybczynski family were the biggest drug dealers in that country. Your great-great-grandfather was known for having the best opium den between Berlin and Shanghai. When we came over here our family of course had to make a new start. We couldn’t be involved in stuff like that anymore, no. With what you’ve just told me, I feel, well, I just feel, honoured that one of my children, one of the great-great-grandchildren, wants to take up the family business again.

(He puts his arm around Charles. They hug.)

Charles: Also, Dad, I think I might want to eventually go into loan sharking.

Victor: I’ll leave that up to you, Chuck. I’ll leave that up to you.

 

Closing credits.

 

Based on “Here’s to You, Rachel Robinson” by Judy Blume.

  

SEVERAL MORE BLASTS FROM THE PAST

97.3 CJEZ-FM Toronto from February 25, 1991. ID “Vital financial information every morning at ten on your information update.” ID advertising Saturday gardening program. Intro to Broadcast News. ID advertising gardening feature weekday afternoons with Art Drysdale. Weather forecast. On the other side of the tape was the same station from March 2, 1991. Andy Neill giving time of 4:26, saying that Carl Banas would be in at 6:00 after news and TSN sports. Entertainment news: Gloria Estefan makes comeback a year after being injured in bus accident, Paul Schafer hosting the Juno Awards, Johnny Cash shows up in person for his induction into the Canadian Country Music Hall of Fame and donates memorabilia. Later promoted “Easy to Remember” and gave weather forecast. Later gave time of 4:50 and had an item about the town of Glendon, Alberta planning to erect a giant model pierogi.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville from spring 2007. Jay Christie shift during a sharathon. Al Baker and James Hunt in studio with Jay begging for money. Were in process of constructing radio stations in Coburg and Brockville. Commercial for Mackey Insurance, “Insights.” A teenager and his nine year old brother were put on the air to talk about the station because their mom had come by to drop off a donation. Later weather forecast. Later commercial for Bayshore Credit Union. UCB Business Card. Mention of UCB applying for national license. Later, former General Manager of UCB Gary Quinn stopped by the studio. “Happy Heart Moments.” Commercial for Sunrise Christian Academy’s spring musical. Dave Ramsey’s “Daily Money Makeover.”

 

800 CJBQ Belleville from 1988 Ted Bradford taking requests mostly from teenage girls including one whose boyfriend worked at Bandito Video.

 

102.1 CFNY Toronto David Marsden mentioning a guy named Robert had won the opportunity to see The Fix at Canada’s Wonderland including two albums, dinner for two at The Oriental Garden and a chance to meet the band. On the other side of the tape, CIUT playing similar music to CFNY with a promo for “Nirvana for Hedgehogs” Tuesdays 8:00-10:00.

 

88.1 CKLN Toronto with “Radiation Radio.” On the other side of the  tape, Q-107 with female anncr hosting “The 1:00 Blues” followed by a show called “The Night.”

 

1050 CHUM Toronto from June 5, 2005 from 10:55-12:02. Roger Ashby “Sunday Morning Oldies” sponsored by Listen Up Canada. Taking requests and mentioning CHUM Music Advisory Board. Commercials for Smoky Robinson at Fallsview Casino, Hollywood On The Queensway, Mitsubishi Motors, Bruno’s Fine Foods, and the HBC Run for Canada. Later commercials for Dr. Flea’s, Listen Up Canada, the Red Cross Lottery, and the GMC Envoy. “Sunday Morning Oldies” ended followed by Robbie Lane in for Lee Eckley on a rock and roll Heaven weekend.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville from September 19, 2007. Jay Christie talking about a station remote from Marshmann Jewelers in Picton the next day (the store was closing), shortage of OPP officers in Belleville, commercial for Belleville YMCA, talked about extension of the Highway of Heroes, NHL pre-season, Emergency Notification System being implemented in Belleville, that night’s Jays-Red Sox game, inflation rate, Gospel sing at Portland Community Church, promoted “In Touch” with Charles Stanley, played High Low. Frequent time-checks and weather at the top and bottom of the hour.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville from a Tuesday in December 2006 with Jay Christie. Promoted birthday announcements on the morning show, free flu shots in Madoc, gave away a Christmas pack of cds, joked about Christmas bonus, upcoming hockey games, psa from Kiwanis Club of Trenton, promoted listeners sending Christmas greetings overseas via UCB comment line, gave away Amy grant cd/dvd set, promoted “Word for You Today”, canned promo for “Haven Today” with Charles Morris. On the other side of the tape, part of Jay Christie’s shift from January 16, 2007. Talked about lack of good TV specials during the holidays, joked about cat getting caught in snow-blower, talked about what people got for Christmas, congratulated OPP on holiday RIDE program, man being arrested for taking a sip of beer at traffic stop, joked about Arizona being fastest growing U.S. state. Then into Jay Christie’s shift from the following day. Talked about television premier of “Supersize Me”, promoted birthday and anniversary announcements, gave away cds including aforementioned Amy Grant cd, this day in history, Congress resuming, joked about low pay, promoted directory of area churches, mentioned how to become a monthly UCB supporter, joked about discovery of King Tut’s tomb, joked about supplier of Whoopie cushions for show, that night’s NHL games, promoted comment line, hotel in Florida offering dog massages, Quinte weather stats for 2006, blood donor clinic at Belleville Fish and Game Club. Then his shift from the day after that. Promoted birthday announcements, unseasonably warm temperatures and weather-related and other injuries, gave away cds, comment line.

 

98.3 CFLY-FM Kingston unknown anncr giving time of 6:42.

 

98.3 CFLY-FM Kingston Neil Kirby giving time of 12:41.

 

Q-107 (CILQ-FM) Toronto from 1987 with tenth anniversary ID. On the other side of the tape, CKFM Toronto from December 1, 1987 Kevin Maclean giving times of 3:48 and 4:01 a.m., the latter accompanied by the Knob Hill Farms “World Info Update” complete with ad for Knob Hill Farms.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville Jay Christie from September 5, 2005. Quinte Christian High opening day assembly, Belleville Christian School schoolyear kick-off barbecue, UCB’s IStore, Ivanhoe Family Camp, Michael W. Smith coming to Kingswood Music Theatre, commercial for Dorann, comment line, Al Baker pre-recorded weather forecast, joked about being named an honourary pestilence, promoted “Adventures in Odyssey”, “Great Hymns of the Faith”, “Twenty: The Countdown Magazine”, “The Gospel Greats”, “Focus on the Family”, and Ravi Zacharias, commercial for Wellington Pharmacy, Bridge and Catherine Streets closed for Quinte Exhebition, African Children’s Choir coming to Maranatha Church, CFL Labour Day classic, online church directory, promoted Chuck Missler, “God’s Own Country” and “Haven Today.” Then into Jay Christie’s shift from the following day. This day in history and Swaziland Independence Day, Terry Fox run, promoted “Adventures in Odyssey”, gas prices coming down slightly, lost cat, upcoming sporting events, online church directory, death of bluesman R. L. Burnside, gave away Michael W. Smith tickets (only got four calls in fifteen minutes), promoted I Store, promoted Z-JAN.  Then into Jay Christie’s shift from the following day. This day in history, upcoming sporting events, commercial for Wellington Pharmacy, death of actor Bob Denver, promoted “Haven Today” and “Focus on the Family”, Michael W. Smith tickets, New Jersey Devil Scott Stevens retiring, how to become a monthly UCB supporter, top four at 4:00, Jay’s pick of the week, health benefits of coffee.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville from 2006 7:57-9:27 Jay and Susan hosting “Saturday Night Gospel.” Chit-chatting in between songs. Commercial for Mackey Insurance, hundredth anniversary of Sidney Baptist Church, Susan wished her twins a happy birthday. Then into “Bill Gaither’s Homecoming Radio Show” complete with Ferguson Fuels ad.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville Jay Christie from May 18, 2007. Promoted birthday and anniversary announcements, UCB Community Notice which included: Wesley Acres men’s ministry’s Fish and Chips and More, Mark L’Amour holding Set Free meetings at Travel Lodge in Kingston and clothing giveaway at Quinte Bible Chapel. Then commercial for Ferguson Fuels, psa from Kiwanis Club of Belleville, talked about Wellington Beach being closed, opening of Wilf Wilkinson Rotary Children’s splash pad, commercial for singles weekend at Wesley Acres, talked about Ernie Parsons’ retirement dinner, UCB Community Notice including United in Worship at Desert Stream Christian Fellowship, commercial for Revell Ford Lincoln, the release of Belleville band Stir’s new cd “Soul Retrieval”, “Plugged In” feature reviewing “Gracie”, commercials for Bayshore Credit Union and Mackey Insurance, gave away prize packs of cds, listener saves life of radio announcer in Colorado, UCB Business Card included: VanVark Electric, O’Koin Construction Ltd and Etiquette for Success. This was followed by a canned promo for “Insight for Living”, promoted UCB’s Great Sites to Visit page, commercial for Fiddlers on the Trent, Canadian dollar rising, yard sale in Trenton.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville Jay Christie from May 22, 2007. Song of the day contest, yard and bake sale at Wesley United Church, UCB Community Notice for The Awakening at Bethel Church in Kingston, gave away tickets to Monkfest, where to send birthday and anniversary announcements, outdated UCB Community Notice about Keith Green coming to Kingston Gospel Temple, Project Kenya fundraiser at Parkdale Baptist Church, commercial for Pillars of Leadership Academy, Stirling Business Directory included Cameo Flowers and Jon Koopman Construction. Then into Jay’s show from May 25, 2007. Gave away more Monkfest tickets (only got four callers in three minutes), Mike E. concert at Centennial Secondary School, replayed interview with Colleen McAllister from the 22^nd, the Cop Shop being demolished in Toronto, Project Kenya concert, worldwide prayer gathering, online dvd giveaway.

 

This tape was given to me by Jay Christie and was taped over an issue of the Seventh-day Adventist audio magazine “Update” from 1986. It contained material from Dr. D. James Kennedy who, in his message before an audience, predicted that, due to AIDS, in five to ten years, you would “have to look far and wide” to find homosexuals, intravenous drug users or prostitutes in America. Then the editor, Pastor Charles Wheeling of Countdown Ministries, came on saying that AIDS was one of the seven last plagues (see Book of Revelation) and mentioned the SDA church being against blood transfusions.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville Jay Christie from August 9, 2005. Gave away tickets to Encounter Ontario, mentioned Cheryl Dunn coming to Kiwanis Club of Madoc and gave away copy of new cd “Let Go”, “God’s Own Country”, online contest, Todd Bertuzzi’s suspension ends, money needed for transportation costs for treatments of two year old Wellington boy with leukemia, “Chronicles of Narnia” and “Adventures in Odyssey”, death of former baseball player and manager Gene Mauch, Madoc Pentecostal Church VBS, online church directory, “Top Four at 4:00”, joked about smog advisory, celebrity birthdays and this day in history. Then into Jay’s shift from the following day. Gave away more Encounter Ontario tickets, “Desiring God” with John Piper, thunderstorm warning, “66 40” with Chuck Missler, upcoming sporting events, “In Touch” with Dr. Charles Stanley, “Haven Today” with Charles Morris, “Top Four at 4:00”, Jay’s pick of the week, comment line, Stirling Fair.

 

UCB Canada (CKJJ-FM) Belleville Jay Christie from January 22, 2006. Hello Kelly’s “Green Things Grow” tour, canned promo for “Saturday Night Gospel”, UCB Community Notice included: Article One at Quinte Christian High, Rob Rupino at Cambodian Evangelical Fellowship Church and ham and scallop potato supper at Holy Rosary Perish, “Winning Fit Tip”, gave away cd, “Insights” feature with Chuck Swindoll, commercial for Steele Funeral Home, “Amazing Grace” movie, Alzheimer’s Society of Belleville Community Outreach Program, promoted “Haven Today”, wind warning, CAN YOU HELP banner on website, joked about exercising, that nights NCAA football championship. Also off the tape, a home recording, as it were, of Jay asking the other staff at the station the current weather forecast for the pre-recorded forecast he was going to do that would air after the 5:00 news, followed by a few attempts to record said forecast. After that, Jay saying, “Hurray, it’s done. A successful show.” 

Country 59 (CKYC-AM) Toronto unknown anncrs back and frontselling songs.

THE IMPORTANCE OF VITAMIN A

I knew vitamin A was essential, but I didn't know about some of the          mentioned in this article. 

As for whether or not vitamin A supplements work to fight certain health problems, it depends a great deal on which brand of supplements those conducting the study used.

SAVED BY A FORESKIN

Exodus 4 24-26 is one of the most difficult Biblical passages to understand, but Pastor Aaron Vriesman not only provides an interpretation, he also shows how this brief Scriptural story points to Christ. 

THE DANGERS OF FREEWILL

The dangers of having free will in a world that seems to have no limits and there are only two directions: truth and deception.

Systemic stupidity: the maskdemic, the abortiondemic, the drugdemic, and the pedopheliademic. 

Times of Enoch: navigating through wicked ways by the direction of God. Genesis 5 24 Revelation 3 10 Matthew 24 12

Not sure if redemption is even possible once the ungodly way is established.

The people who are responsible for "The Gaybcs", a book for kids 3-7 that explains the alphabet by referencing sexual immorality should be burned at the stake for this is pure evil witchcraft.

The true sufferers of homophobia are the homosexuals.         

Doug

FUTUREPHOBIA

The fear of the truth

That exposes the lie

As we stare at the ground

Afraid to look at the sky

Blinded by darkness

From the God of Most High

When we follow false leaders

Into deceptions and die.

Doug 

EQUALITY OF OUTCOME

Be afraid of your truth.

Equality of outcome is a system that produces a population where anyone can become a brain surgion or a sex worker equally: stupid getting stupider.

Doug 

THOR WAS NEFILEM

Well, this is one of the most interesting things I've heard in a while. 

THE COMING ALIEN DECEPTION

Though I don't agree with the pre-Adamic doctrine,          really lays out, and points to resources to show you the coming revelation of the return of the so-called ancient aliens will be one of the greatest falsehoods, if not the greatest, the world has ever known 

FREETHINKER VS. CHRISTIAN

   I have to say I wasn't impressed by this video. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what Mario was trying to do. We need more dialogue and fewer keyboard commandos slagging each other. However, there are a lot stronger points he could have brought up to counter Samantha.

If I heard correctly, Samantha basically believes in an endless cycle of death and rebirth, akin to Buddhists or Hindus, where one eventually lives a perfect life or one that is near enough to perfection you attain nirvana, break the cycle and go to Heaven.

This belief is so obviously flawed.

First of all, have you ever met, or even heard of anyone of whom you can say they're going to attain nirvana when this life is over? No, you haven't because fallen man is deeply flawed in his body, soul and spirit.

Even if you could live your life in such a way where you got to a place where you attained nirvana upon death despite your early life being full of wrongdoing, how would you account for those wrongs and how they effected other people? It's great that you were a wonderful grandfather, but how do you atone for the fact you were such a horrible father only one of your seven children has kids?

The most obvious reason why this karmatic view is flawed is the simple reason that we can't remember our past lives-or, at least, not in enough detail to help us in this life. I can remember what I did yesterday, the day before that, when I was a child, when I was a teenager, etc. such that I at least would like to think I've learned from the mistakes I made back then. If I can't, however, remember the lives I lived prior to being conceived in the spring of 1983 so that I can then consciously make experiential decisions on how to live this life, then it will be impossible for me or anyone else to actually attain nirvana.

Now, turning to what Samantha said about judgment, namely that, while courts have a right to judge people for speeding, rape, murder, and the like, God does not have the right to because many criminals were warped by childhood trauma. The reason our legal system doesn't have childhood trauma as a defense is there is an expectation that, regardless how bad an environment you grew up in, you still should have grasped enough of the difference between right and wrong to know better.

Likewise, chapter one of the Book of Romans says we are all born knowing God exists. God, by his common grace, has given humanity a moral code they know they ought to live by.

Our laws come from morals and our morals come from God. Therefore, God has every right to judge us for our sins.

Third, on the subject of homosexuality and the standard defense of, "They love each other."

First of all, what is love? I would imagine the love you feel for your son and mother as compared to the love you feel for your husband-to-be are different, or at least have different facets to them.

 Second, just because that couple, gay, straight or otherwise, appears to love each other doesn't mean they actually do, or that there isn't a whole lot going on that's much more selfish and sinister than meets the eye.