This book signifies what’s wrong with Christian men’s life
improvement books.
First of all, there’s precious little Scripture quoted ihn
this thing. It ends up being mostly Rainey’s opinion backed up with a few
Biblical passages here and there, most of them twisted out of context.
Second, this book –and its accompanying video series-does
what most things in the institutional church do: makes God into a set of
principles to be kept or a system to be followed. There are these five steps in
a man’s life which he must climb in order to be a godly man.
Rainey, as does every other conservative baby boomer, points
out the number of man-children that exist out there. While it isn’t wrong to
speak out against this trend, one must remember people my age and younger face
many challenges in starting their adult lives: challenges those Rainey’s age
didn’t face when they were growing up. This includes everything from-as Rainey
points out-broken homes to lack of jobs to the denegration of the white man.
Another problem, which would have been pointed out if these
types of materials weren’t segregated by sex, is that there are a lot of girls
who don’t step up, either. So many women out there haven’t exactly bothered to
get out of mom’s basement and try to establish themselves either, in part
because they’re facing a lot of the same problems as the guys.
I also have a problem with a lot of the stories that begin
the sections of this book.
For one thing, they are the usual sorts of things one finds
in Christian men’s ministry resources. All the stories are geared to manly men:
featuring mountain climbers, Antarctic explorers, sports heroes, and
battle-scarred veterans. Only in the final chapter does Rainey tell us about a
man who had the courage to step up to the challenges of being a single father
after his wife died and weight loss.
Which brings me to my next point. Now, don’t get me wrong: I
love America and Americans, but a complaint that dovetails with my complaint
about the illustrative stories in this book is that, my gosh, it’s American.
Rainey talks a lot about courageous men who fought in some of the many wars
America has waged in the last hundred years and about how his father-in-law
wanted to re-enlist and fight after 9/11 happened.
Now, most of the publishing industry is controlled by
members of a certain tribe, those many evangelical Christians refer to as the
chosen people. These people have also caused many of the wars the world has
seen throughout history. Read Victor Thorn’s book “9/11 Evil” and study into
the real history of World War II if you doubt this.
Where are the stories of courageous men who opposed wars
that weren’t their country’s concern and that would ultimately leave many of it’s
most courageous men in horrible shape afterwords?
Also, Rainey, I presume as an American from the Bible belt,
exhibits a lot of hangups in this book about sexual things. While I am in total
agreement that that guy who went to see his old flame after missing his
twentieth high school reunion was foolish for not realizing sooner she just
wanted to get into his pants, most of Rainey’s other rules-particularly the one
about not riding in a car with a woman and those that are found on the same
page of the book-are just laughable, if not paranoid. Dude, if you are such a
horn dog you can’t even trust yourself in the types of situations you describe,
then I seriously speculate you aren’t truly saved in the first place. A godly
man thinks of women as people created in the image of God and doesn’t overly
fixate on the fact it’s possible to have sex with them. I mean we all have our
specific temptations with which the devil tries to make us stumble, but sheesh.
It also, in my opinion, indicates that you don’t love or
value Barbara that much if you think of women so much in terms of having sex or
not having sex with them.
By the way, I’m still ticked off at Family Life Today’s
culturally-insensitive and myopic view on co-sleeping.
Bottom line: If you are Dennis Rainey and have lived his life,
then you will find this book most useful. Otherwise, if you wish to become a
godly man, do the following:
First, if you are not saved, get saved according to the
instructions in the Biblical book of Acts, chapter 2, verse 38.
Next, rather than seeking an institutional church to join,
seek out other Christians to fellowship with, both online and in real life.
Granted, this may involve attending various institutional churches, but don’t
join any of them unless the Lord explicitly tells you to, and, even then, don’t
exclude those who are in other churches or those believers who don’t attend
church.
I do agree with Rainey that you need to find other men to
fellowship with, but don’t think in terms of age: think in terms of maturity in
the faith. Remember, the goal is to imitate Christ as Paul instructs in 1
Corinthians. It’s not about mentorship: rather, it’s about discipleship.
In your own time, pray, which means talking with God and not
at Him. Take time in your prayers to listen.
Also, study your Bible, which involves a lot more than reading
it. Sites like Bible Gateway or Blue Letter Bible can be helpful, and of course
there are also many Bible study apps. I’d encourage you to, with the leading of
the Holy Spirit, seek out many of the sermon series and books (available both
online and off) that explain passages in the Bible and how to interpret the
Bible itself.
