Wednesday, August 31, 2011

ECCLESIASTES: TAMING THE TONGUE

Ecclesiastes 5 1-7

Verses 2 and 3 tell us not to speak for the sake of speaking. I'm sure we've all been in Christian circles, whether Bible studies or prayer meetings or just hanging out with a group of Christian friends where someone feels they have to say something and ends up saying something foolish or Biblically incorrect.

The verses following these two tell us not to make rash vows to God. We've all heard of a situation where someone prays "God, if you get me out of this, I'll become a priest or a nun or a preacher" or something. This is complete foolishness. I think it also makes God out to be a sucker.

The Book of James speaks quite a bit about how powerful the tongue is. We should always be careful about what we say and be mindful of those times when we shouldn't say anything at all.

Monday, August 29, 2011

ROMANS: ADAM, SIN, MARRIAGE, THE LAW

Romans 5 12 and 13: In one sense, sin entered the world through Adam, but in another sense there was sin in the world before Adam and Eve ate the fruit. Since at least the beginning, God has always had His ways of right and wrong. If somehow Adam and Eve had managed to sin before they ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, it still would have been wrong.

Romans 7 2 and 3: These verses apply to marriage as well as to our relationship with the law.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

GROOVY BABIES

Little Texas, Friday August 26

On the whole, this band was great. The musicians were talented, the female lead singer had a wonderful voice and their selection of cover songs was varied. The only criticism I have is of the lead singer's lack of stage presence between songs. She seemed to falter when it came to talking to the audience. The Groovy Babies should definitely work on this last aspect of things.

Friday, August 26, 2011

REPLY AWL

The editorial of the August 1-8 issue of Maclean's is entitled "The Future Looks Relaxed." It talks about a new Statscan report that says we are feeling less stressed, spending more time with our children and getting lots of sleep. Oh come on! That doesn't fit with the lifestyles of most of the people I know of varying ages.

In the Bad News section of the same issue (how do they determine what is Good News and what is Bad News?), there is an item about how most business students want to get a job in the civil service as opposed to starting their own business. Well no wonder! Between the high cost of starting a business in Canada, the economic crisis and government regulations, it's no surprise these kids want cushy government jobs.

There is an article in the same issue that talks about people who hate long weekends. I have to admit, as a single man, they can get right boring at times.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

My Prerogative: When Britney Spears covered this song, Mad TV did a parody of "Total Request Live" where Bobby Brown burst into the studio and said, "If anyone's gonna remake my one and only hit, it gon' be me."

Straight Up: I actually kind of like this song. Whenever I was channel surfing and came across the video on Much Music I would stop and watch it.

Like A Prayer: This song is so blasphemous.

I'll Be There For You: I don't know whether it was this song or the theme to "Friends" or something else that popularized the phrase "I'll be there for you", but whoever it was who launched this combination of words into the mainstream should be taken out and shot. I'll be there for you is such a hollow phrase.

Forever Your Girl: "Not even if he promises me diamonds, not even if he promises me pearls, but if he actually dumps some out on the table all bets are off."

Rock On: I love the original version of this song. My parents have the 45 and I used to listen to it frequently.

Loving You Forever: All the girls in my Grade 1 and 2 classes were in love with various members of New Kids On The Block.

I once went to a friends house. Actually, it was two friends, a boy and a girl named Micky and Mathew. Micky had a cassette containing interviews with New Kids On The Block and some songs. The interviewer used the word "sexy" a lot. I was not of an age to know what that word meant, but in typical little kid fashion, I used it anyway. I remember I was playing with a pack of braille cards on the kitchen floor a few nights later. I said "We're gonna have some sexy card fun." My mom chastised me for using the word and explained to me what it really meant.

Batdance: I think I remember some kids in my grade 2 class talking about the Batman movie.

Right Here Waiting: My sister really loves this song because she loves animals and this song was used on a commercial for the Humane Society.

In grade 12 I took piano lessons and learned to play part of this song.

We Didn't Start The Fire: Billy Joel and other singers kept the fire burning with their coke parties. This is actually a good song.

In the first semester of college, we had a course called Evolution Of Modern Music. We were split into groups and a different group had to do a weekly presentation about a different musical era. Before the teacher split us up, he did a presentation to give us an idea of what he expected. The presentation centred on the events mentioned in this song.

Another Day In Paradise: Sanctimonious garbage.

Monday, August 22, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Need You Tonight: Michael Hutchins didn't commit suicide. He slipped on a curtain rod while putting his pants on backwards.

Get Outa My Dreams, Get Into My Car: Double Exposure did a parody of this song sung by then Foreign Affairs Minister Joe Clark.

Get out of Kuwait,
And back to Bagdad,
Get out of Kuwait,
Make it snappy Sadam.

Don't Worry, Be Happy: I was at my aforementioned babysitters house one weekend. They were Catholics and we were driving to church one Sunday morning in their truck. The car radio was on (I think it was on CFFX 960) and a preacher was on there. He said, "It's not that song "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Jesus is the key to all this."

Also around this time, I was in kindergarten. When ever I would get worried or nervous or upset about something, the teacher would say, "Don't worry. Be happy."

There is a parody of this song entitled "Don't Be Happy, Worry" listing a whole bunch of things that can go wrong.

Double Exposure did a parody of this song around the time of the 1992 federal election, sung by Flora MCDonald.

Here's a little song I wrote,
I wrote it just to make you vote,
Be happy,
Vote Tory.

Red Red Wine: I was once told a story about a man who celebrated his fortieth birthday. When the cake was brought out, it had a 45 by UB40 on top.

Kokomo: Watching this song being performed on "Full House" was painful.

I doubt if the narrator of this song is intelligent enough to know where most of the places mentioned are.

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Living On A Prayer: It's the 1980s, yet Tommy and Gena are struggling to make it. Tommy's dock workers union has been on strike for more than a year, like some union in one of those South American countries. Gosh. Seriously.

With or Without You: Though "The Joshua Tree" sucks, it has sentimental value to me. The babysitter I wrote about in my previous "Billboard" post was also a U2 fan. I asked for a U2 album for Christmas 1987. Christmas morning, I opened up a present to discover a cassette of "The Joshua Tree." I remember my mom reading the track listing and saying "Where The Streets Have No Names" rather incredulously.

Bad: Double Exposure did a sketch about Margaret Thatcher having all kinds of secret identities. One of them was an Indian boy she played in a movie, and another was Michael Jackson.

Money Money: Whenever I'm in a club and people yell out the obscene thing you're supposed to yell after the first line of this song, I always think how people are stupid and just do what ever everyone else does. Lousy crowd mentality.

Heaven Is A Place On Earth: If heaven is a place on earth, I want my money back.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

REPLY AWL

In the July 25 issue of Maclean's, there is an article about police in Fredericton giving drivers coupons for pizzas for not talking on cell phones while driving. This reminds me of the Chris Rock routine "Niggers Versus Black People." That's the way our society is today: give people credit for doing what they're supposed to do.

The next article talks about the food at the Calgary Stampede, which it sounds like the writer sampled a fair amount of. I would like to see that guys arteries after eating all that food.

There are two ironic death stories in this issue. In the International section, there is an article about an Iraq war veteran. He had both legs blown off in Iraq but still possessed a love for life, including riding roller coasters. He fell out of a roller coaster in upstate New York and died.

The second one is "The End." It is about a miner to whom safety was very important. He had gone into the mine early for a safety meeting. Later, during his shift, an avalanche of loose rock buried him. To add further irony, the first safety team was at a competition, which they won the next day. The second and third safety teams dug him out, but he was already dead.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

FM DX LOGGINGS 8/20/2011

Had some great FM DX this morning. Lots of stations from upstate New York.

88.3? unid Christian station from Rochester with "The Gospel Greats"
89.1 The Point with song and announcer
unid with Spanish music; thought it might be Clave on CIUT but odd there was no announcer or IDs
FM 90.1 Rochester with "Band Stand Polka Show"
90.5 WBER Rochester with rock music
unid NPR? station with classical, then at 11:00 "The Great American Songbook."
92.1 WSEN with BGs "Set Me Free"
92.5 WBEE Rochester with country music
93.1 WNTQ Syracuse with announcer and song by Dragonette
94.1 WZNE Rochester with music and ID promoting "Perfect Nineties Playlist"
95.1 WFXS Rochester with commercials
97.7 WFRY Watertown with country music
101.3 WRMM Rochester with music and announcer
WTSS Star 102.5 Buffalo with music and ID
105.7 Easy Rock Niagara with music, announcer talking about upcoming peach festival and commercials
106.7 WKGS Rochester with "American Top Forty With Ryan Seacrest"
107.7 WLKK (WBEN-fm) with home improvement show and news

Friday, August 19, 2011

REPLY AWL

In the Newsmakers section of the July 18 issue of Maclean's, the mayor of Calgary contradicts himself. First, he says he attended the homosexual pride parade because "my Calgary consists of every citizen" and then he defends Rob Ford's decision not to attend the Toronto homosexual pride parade by saying he can understand that "in this job you need your family time" or something.

In the same issue, there is an article about how four and five year olds in Quebec daycares are scoring low on school readiness tests. Quebec provides low cost daycare, with the provincial government covering most of the cost. This ultimately means more children are in daycare at an earlier age. The reason the children are scoring low on these tests is because there's no substitute for a mother, and a Christian one at that.

In the May-June Youth Unlimited newsletter, there is an article about sexting which quotes an article in the New York Times. One girl quoted in the Times article looks at sexting as a form of safer sex. Methinks this girl, like many others her age has trouble telling the virtual world from the real one.

Also, what these kids don't realize is that anyone with the proper skills can hack into the device they're sexting with.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

LUKE 19-21

The following are some thoughts on passages in the Gospel of Luke Chapters 19, 20 and 21.

Luke 19 21 is often used to justify interest. However, what the man in this parable was really saying was, "If you weren't going to do anything with the money I gave you, why didn't you just open an account, put it in the bank and make me borrow it from you?"

Luke 20 9-19: This parable is allegorical to the history of Israel up to Jesus time.

Luke 20 24 and 25: What belongs to God? Everything. Jesus was saying here, "If you're going to worship Caesar as God, then give Caesar everything, but if you're going to worship God as the true God, then give Him everything."

Luke 21 5-38: As we go through these end times, it is good to know that Jesus is coming soon.

REPLY AWL

In the Police Blotter section of the July 4-11 issue of Maclean's, there is an item about an Israeli woman in St. John's who went door to door selling fake Asian art prints. A Jewish person trying to pass something crummy off as something valuable?! Such a thing has never happened before!

In the same issue, there is an article about the revamped Anne Of Green Gables musical. OK, just as long as it doesn't feature any of the characters rapping.

I found the "The End" section in this issue less ironic than usual.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Amadeous: I love The Bloodhound Gang song that incorporates this tune.

Greatest Love Of All: From every telethon you've ever watched.

In The Midst Of The Years: Mick Hucknell is a huge jerk.

Sledgehammer: This song has a special place in my heart. When I was little there was a family I used to go and spend time with when my parents wanted a weekend to themselves. The daughters were teenagers and one of them had some of the music that was popular at that time, including Peter Gabriel's "So" album. She and I used to listen to it all the time and she made me a tape of it, with Rod Stewart's current album on the other side. I used to play that tape for future babysitters.

You Give Love A Bad Name: Bonjovi sucks. "Runaway" is their only good song. If John Bonjovi were ugly, that band would not have had anywhere near the success it has.

Monday, August 15, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

I Wanna Know What Love Is: The lyrics of this song were included in a textbook I had for a course in high school called Personal Life Management.

One More Night: Phil Collins ruined Genesis.

We Are The World: On an episode of "Married With Children", the Bundys go on a trip somewhere. They fly first class and Al meets a whole bunch of rock stars. Al and the others colloborate on a charity single entitled "We Are The Old." For the record, the only lines from the song I can remember are:

We've got Medicare,
And antigas pills,
But please help me pay
My alimony bills.

Everybody Wants To Rule The World: Everybody wants to rule the world, but only Jesus Christ can rule the world.

Saving All My Love For You: My gosh, Whitney Houston can not sing.

Miami Vice Theme: This show was so cheesy.

One of the counselors at the School For The Blind told us that he and his friends would go to the bar to watch "Miami Vice" every Friday night.

Sesame Street did a parody of this show entitled "Miami Mice."

We Built This City: On an episode of The Simpsons, Homer incorporated "We built this city on rock and roll" into "It Ain't Gonna Rain No More."

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Owner Of A Lonely Heart: Though this song sucks, the rest of the album it comes from is quite excellent. Great progressive rock.

Karma Chamileon: My uncle used to visit my mom and dad on their farm every summer. He used to play Boy George And Culture Club records and it drove my dad crazy.

Jump: I have heard this album. It sucks.

Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now): I have many Phil Collins albums. They all suck.

Hello: Go on YouTube and check out Nick Digilio's analysis of the video for this song.

"What the heck do you want!? Leave me alone! I'm blind!"

Time After Time: A few years ago, CHUM-fm did a Christmas special that they syndicated. It featured interviews with artists followed by Christmas songs they'd recorded. Even though the interviews had probably all been recorded at different times, the host, Taylor Kaye, was trying to make it appear as if all the musicians were gathered together for a Christmas party. Cindy Lauper was the only one who played along. I'll always love her for that.

When Doves Cry: "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince has changed his name to The Artist. Many people think Formerly would have been a better name."--This Hour Has 22 Minutes

Ghost Busters: I have the sound track to this movie. It is mostly the theme song over and over again.

"Who you gonna call" has become an immortal phrase in our culture.

My sister used to refer to this movie as "Ghost Butters."

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go: "AandE is doin the biography of the other guy from Wham."--Family Guy

Like A Virgin: Like a virgin?! Anything but!

Like a virgin,
Oooh, oooh.

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Down Under: Men At Work were actually a fairly decent band that incorporated a number of different musical styles. Check out Colin Hayes more recent solo work.

"You wanna see a knife? This is a knife."

Africa: When I went to the W. Ross Macdonald School For The Blind (more about that when we get to 1997 and subsequent years) there were these two mentally retarded kids in senior residence. Ryan Lublin had autism and I'm not sure what Bill McKendry's condition was. Ryan used to tease Bill by putting the wrong letter at the beginning of words. Ryan would talk about songs from the eighties and ask where they were. He used to frequently ask, "Where's Toto's Zafrica" (meaning of course Africa, the song in discussion here.) Bill, who was a big jerk of a human being to begin with, would get mad.

Billie Jean: Michael Jackson was so overrated. Everyone of his songs is just "Uh, uh, uh, uh."

Come On Ileen: In the episode where Homer recounts his time in "The B Sharps", Homer calls home after the group wins a grammy award. Lisa says, "You beat out Dexie's Midnight Runners."

Beat It: Weird Al did a parody of this song called "Eat It."

Every Breath You Take: It is amazing some people still think this is a love song.

FBI agent radio host Hal Turner used to play a sketch on his radio show featuring two British intelligence agents singing a parody of this song about how they were going to spy on the public all the time.

Maniac: Groundskeeper Willie sang this song on the Simpsons. (See also "Downtown")

Tell Her About It: This song hit number one on the day I was born.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart: The Arrogant Worms did a sketch involving a deejay taking requests on a female-targeted radio station. The sketch made fun of the fact that stations aimed at females play songs like "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" as opposed to more hardcore songs done by female artists such as Hole.

Islands In The Stream: The melody of this song was used in the rap song "Ghetto Superstar."

This song always makes me think of a simile used in Jerry Spinelli's children's book "Maniac Magee." Jeffrey "Maniac" Magee gets to the segregated community of Two Mills, Pennsylvania and meets black girl Amanda Beale. Amanda is carrying a suitcase of books to school so the dog can't chew them and her younger brother and sister can't colour on them. Jeffrey stops Amanda and talks to her. Jeffrey, Amanda and the suitcase are described like "a rock in a stream" as the other kids flow by on their way to school.

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Ebony And Ivory: This song is so horrible. What do keys on a piano have to do with racial harmony?

Eye Of The Tiger: Eye of the spider.

Jack And Diane: Weird Al sang a parody of this song on the Simpsons entitled "Homer And Marge."

Micky: Weird Al did a parody of this song titled "Ricky", which accurately pointed out many of the things that made "I Love Lucy" a horrible TV program.

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

I Love A Rainy Night: My mom has "Someone Could Lose A Heart." It sucks.

Bette Davis Eyes: My mom has this album. It sucks.

The Stars On 45: I have this album. It's quite good.

Physical: There was a BBC children's show they used to broadcast on TV Ontario called "Bertie The Bat." Bertie used to sing this song when he was exercising.

Friday, August 12, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Another Brick In The Wall: I have heard "The Wall." It is pretty good, but the title track is overplayed.

When I was in high school, my EA said she didn't like this song (probably because of the lyrics.) The fact is, a lot of schools are oppressive.

Just Like (Starting Over): My parents have "Double Fantasy." "Woman" is the only good track.

John Lennon was murdered for the same reason Elvis and Michael Jackson were murdered; to preserve his mystique. The New World Order couldn't have Lennon getting old and decrepit.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

THE LILAC BUS

by Maive Binchy. New York: Delacorte, 1984.

This is a wonderful collection of interlocking short stories about seven people who all take a lilac coloured bus from Dublin to their hometown of Rathdoon every Friday night. All of the seven, including the driver, Tom Fitzgerald, have secrets they're trying to keep.

This is a delightful portrayal of a small town and Britain in the eighties.

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Do You Think I'm Sexy?: I have the album with this song. It sucks.

There is a version of this song sung by comedy duo Bob and Ray with Gilda Radner.

I Will Survive: A stand up comedian once sang this song in a sketch about a Vietnamese woman who'd been dumped by an American GI.

Heart Of Glass: Blondie are sell-outs.

My Sherona: Weird Al did a parody of this song entitled "My Balogna."

Pop Music: This song marked the beginning of the synth pop era.

Babe: Babe is what stupid people call their girlfriends,.

Escape (Pina Colada Song): I was walking down the hall in college one day when I heard some girls singing this song.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Baby Come Back: A clip of this song was used on The Simpsons when Homer called a missing baby hotline.

Stayin Alive: This is one of my favourite songs!

"Stayin Alive" was also the first song I played on the radio. At Loyalist College where I went for Radio Broadcasting, they had a closed circuit station known as CBLC the first year students practiced on. My first semester, the format was oldies. We got to select which songs from the playlist we would play, and for my first song I chose "Stayin Alive."

Love Is Thicker Than Water: I'm sure the huge success the BGs were having with "Saturday Night Fever" had nothing to do with brother Andy's monumental success.

Night Fever: Let's not forget the gang at the Children's Television Workshop did their own version of "Saturday Night Fever" entitled "Sesame Street Fever." That is definitely a strong memory from childhood.

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late: Johnny Mathis makes my skin crawl. Buck you, you bucking faggot.

Kiss You All Over: Whenever this song is mentioned, I think of Happy Gilmore singing it over the intercom.

Hot Child In The City: This song makes me think of Belleville radio station CJOJ changing formats from OJ 95.5 to Classic Hits 95.5. I had returned home for a weekend from the Transitional Training Centre in Hamilton (possibly more about that when we get to 2002.) Mom had told me about the format change over the phone and "Hot Child In The City" was the first song I heard when I got in her car.

I Needed You: Though "I Needed You" was Anne Murray's biggest hit, I will always remember her most for her seminal children's album "Hippo In The Bathtub."

Macarthur Park: I've never heard Donna Summer's cover of this song. I can't even imagine how horrible it would be.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers: Double Exposure did a parody of this song about two politicians whose names escape me at the moment. The only line from the song I can remember is "You're Not Planting Tulips Anymore."

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Car Wash: "Car Wash" is an absolutely horrible film.

Torn Between Two Lovers: You can't be truly in love with two people at the same time.

Blinded By The Light: Canadian sketch comedy troupe "The Vacant Lot" has a sketch about a bunch of guys arguing over the lyrics to this song.

New Kid In Town: "Hotel California" is a horrible album.

Dancing Queen: "Money, Money" is the only good Abba hit.

Even though Abba's songs weren't very good, you at least get the feeling bands back then halfway cared about lyrics, which they don't today.

Hotel California: This song is about scientology.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1blaRfn8kM "You can check in but you can never leave."

Pirate radio operator James Brownyard of station WHYP did a parody of this song entitled "Hotel JTA."

Welcome to the Hotel JTA,
Such a smelly place,
Such a smelly place.

Dreams: I have "Rumours." It sucks.

Undercover Angel: This song is just so terrible.

Didn't this song come out around the same time "Highway To Heaven" and things like that were popular?

Da Doo Ron Ron: I have this album. It sucks.

Star Wars/Cantena Music: Let's combine two of the worst things about the seventies: "Star Wars" and disco.

Star Wars is an awful movie. It was a landmark film because the studios realised they didn't need a plot to have a successful movie. All they needed was a lot of special affects. Really, when you think about it, "Star Wars" is nothing more than a glorified cowboy and Indian picture.

You Light Up My Life: I have the album with this song. It's basically "You Light Up My Life" over and over again.

It's highly ironic Joe Brooks committed suicide.

Friday, August 5, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Saturday Night: I have the album with this song. It sucks.

Convoy: This is a great song! Thank you Paul Brant for almost destroying it.

In the beginning of the episode of the Simpsons where Bart falls down the well, Homer is testing out Bart's new tape recorder. He sings "Convoy" really loudly, causing feedback and making the dog howl.

Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover: This is also a great song.

For the record, parody versions of this song exist entitled "Fifty Ways To Cleave Your Wiener" and "Fifty Ways To Kill Ben Laden."

On the Nightside several years ago, Jim Richards asked people to call in suggesting the forty-six ways to leave your lover that aren't mentioned in the song. Suggestions included "I'm gay,
Ray" and "Stab him in the leg, Peg" submitted by a teenage girl named Megan.

Let Your Love Flow: I think Pastor Peters played this song on his broadcast a few months ago.

Though many people have assigned a religious meaning to this song, I don't think it has a place being given a Christian meaning.

Welcome Back: "Welcome Back Cotter" sucks. In real life, those so-called "juvinile delinquints" would have beat up Cotter and slashed his tires daily.

For another thing, the show is just generally horrible, from the plots to the premise of having Gabe Kaplin tell a joke at the end of every show.

Heck, you could tell Kaplin and his TV wife didn't even like each other.

Silly Love Songs: "Silly Love Songs" accurately describes most of Paul McCartney's solo career.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart: The Capitol Steps did a parody of this song about George W. Bush entitled "Don't Go Faking You're Smart."

A Fifth Of Beithoven: This is actually an awesome song!

Beithoven's Fifth is the only classical piece that really mixes well with a disco beat.

Disco Duck: Rick Dees is an idiot. I especially hate the way he fawns over every artist who's currently on the chart and constantly refers to songs as "hits."

Tonight's The Night (Gonna Be All Right): I have "A Night On The Town." It sucks

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Mandy: I actually like Barry Manilow. I didn't think I would until I heard one of his albums. I particularly like his recording of the theme to "American Bandstand."

Homer Simpson sang a sort of parody of this song:

Oh Mindy you came and you found me a turkey,
On my vacation away from worky.

Thank God I'm A Country Boy: "Life on the farm is kinda laid back." No it isn't! It's work from 4:00 a.m. until 8:00 at night with constant worry about wild animals, crop failure and foreclosure.

For the record, a parody of this song exists called "Thank God I'm A Pubic Hair."

The Hustle: On "Stickin Around" or one of those shows they used to show on YTV there was a character named Russell who invented a dance and the other kids all sang out "Do The Russell."

Rhinestone Cowboy: Glen Campbell is such a phony.