Tuesday, December 29, 2009

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES BRONCHEAL INFECTION THE FOUR SEASONS

I'm playing the Jeophardy drinking game. I take a drink everytime I know the question to an answer. I have managed to consume a lot of gin because of it.

Tree branches growing out of his ears,
A lawn on top of his head.

Barack Obama called into a talk show as "Barry From DC." The bucking nerve.

On the highway,
Thirty people lost their lives"

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

REPLY AWL

The November 2 issue of Maclean's has an article about kids drinking hand sanatiser. This seems like one of these things where the media makes a much bigger deal out of it than it actually is. Of course the article gives plenty of information teaching kids how to do it.

In a November 9 Maclean's article about the municipal election in Montreal, the writer keeps bringing up the fact that one of the candidates is a 9/11 truther. Martin Patrequin gets in a jibe about how the candidate won't be hearing from the mayor of New York City if he wins. We're not trying to disrespect New York City or the victims families: how the buck many times do we gotta say it.

In an article in the same issue about Uganda's proposed law making homosexuality illegal, the writer misquotes the title of a book. The book is called The Pink Swastika, not The Pink Triangle.

The November 16 issue of Maclean's has an article about volunteers who pick fruit from people's trees for the food bank. This is good, gleaning according to God's law.

HARRY HELMS BLOG

I'm not sure how I feel about The Harry Helms Blog.

On the one hand, it's a great read concerning dealing with one's death. Instead of being all, "Why me? Why is such a horrible thing happening to me?" the late author and publisher looks back on his life; remembering interesting trips he has taken, good times he has had and good friends he has known.

However, Helms does one thing which really ticks me off. He makes assertions without backing them up. He makes fun of 9/11 truthers but does not explain why what we believe is "Whacky." He also does the same thing in other places, taking jibes at the usual suspects like "survivalists" and home-based businesses without explaining why these are wrong-headed.

Honestly, I'm glad that guy is dead.

Monday, December 21, 2009

RICHARD SYRETT SURE SUCKED LAST NIGHT

In the second hour of The Conspiracy Show last night, Richard Syrett had on Pastor Harry to talk about the satanic origins of Santa Clause.

At the beginning of the show, Syrett said he was going to prove Pastor Harry was lying. The last time Syrett and Pastor Harry talked about this, Richard was somewhat with him. This time, Syrett was vehomently challenging Pastor Harry and making fun of him. When Pastor Harry talked about the illuminati running Coka Cola, Richard said, "Well, they sure messed up with New Coke, didn't they." One of the top execs from Coka Cola was at the 2006 Bilderberg meeting.

Of course, this is all due to the fact Richard's children are now old enough to know what Christmas is all about and thus he is riding a wave of emotion.

Richard asked Pastor Harry if it was all right to tell children about St. Nicholas, since he was a real person and the Orthodox church teaches that saints commune with the living. The Bible says quite clearly in Luke 14 that the dead can not leave Heaven or hell.

Moyah in Mississauga called in and said that Santa was a symbol of love and "what's wrong with that." Honey, Christianity has Jesus, who is God, who is love as it says in 1 John. We don't need no jolly old elf to "symbolise" love; we got the real thing.

Moyah also said Santa Clause was a fairy tale, equivalent to "The Three Little Pigs." When you read your child the story of The Three Little Pigs, you don't say, "This actually happened." You also don't say the three little pigs are going to give them gifts and know when they're sleeping and whether they've been bad or good.

Barry in Calgary called in and asked, "When I was a child, my parents told me the stork brought babies. Was it also wrong for them to tell me that as well as tell me about Santa Clause?" Yes, all lies to children are wrong.

Mike in Toronto called in and said, "I think churches created Satan in order to scare people into going to church and make the church rich." Pastor Harry went into a long explanation in response to what Mike said. If it had been me, I would have said, "I know you're just saying that to insult me so next caller."

John in Cambridge said that when he was a boy, he was told about Santa Clause but the greater emphasis was always placed on Jesus Christ. "I am the Lord God beside me there is no other."

Diane in Buffalo called in and said that when she was a child, she was told by her parents that Santa was a symbol of love that children could communicate with. She said we sorely need a symbol of love and caring. I say, if the only loving and caring person in your life is a fictitious fat guy in a red suit, your life is in a pretty sorry state.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

OTTAWA PIRATE RADIO UPDATE

Jayhaed Saade has ceased broadcasting his pirate radio station over the year. He has applied to the CRTC for a license. Let's hope he gets it.

The station can still be heard on the internet.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

BECOMING GOD'S MAN BY PURSUING GODLY FRIENDSHIPS

By Kenny Arterburn and Todd Luck. Colorado Springs, Co: Waterbrook Press, 2007.

This book is written by the guys who lead the morning Bible study at Rick Warren’s church.

In order to save everyone the cost of buying this book, I will summarize it here.

We can not be isolated. We need to have fellowship with believers. In Proverbs it says “there is wisdom in the multitude of counsel.” In Hebrews it talks about “not forsaking our assembling together.” Satan would love it for men to be alone. Jesus was tempted when he was alone.

Session 1: Why are men in the church isolated? Because everything in the church is geared toward women. Most preachers just preach feel-good messages about “love, grace, forgiveness.” Jesus is portrayed as a wimp who’ll more or less put up with whatever bad behaviour anyone exhibits.

Take Focus On The Family for example. Focus On The Family is like Oprah for Christians. Everything is all about “the person did such and such a thing because they didn’t get enough love as a child” or something similar.

Another example is The Purpose-driven Life, all about “finding a purpose for your life.” This is just the sort of thing that Oprah would endorse. I thought that, if we’re Christians, the purpose of our lives was to tell other people about Jesus.

Men need to connect with other men in order to “pursue righteousness.” As stated above, if we’re isolated, the temptation to sin grows a lot stronger.

In this session, the authors take out of context the verse in 1 Corinthians about the hand not needing the foot. The verse actually refers to people in the church with different spiritual gifts.

Session 2: Why is it so hard for men to connect with other men? This is actually a really good question. For one thing, in our society, it is regarded as unmanly to connect with other guys. As stated by the authors, in tribal societies it is quite normal for men to spend time together on a profound level. I remember on the John Oakley Show when he was on afternoons at Cfrb talked one day about rights of passage, how your father signaled to you that you were a man. A man called in who was originally from Kenya. He said that in Kenya a father will take his son into the wilderness and talk to him about how to properly treat a woman. The caller said he was probably going to take his son up to Algonquin Park. However, in our society, men develop the attitude that they don’t need anyone.

For another thing, we live in an isolated society. People don’t talk to each other anymore. Instead of going out at night, they come home from work and watch TV. Maybe they go to the bar once a week, but that’s about it.

In Session 3, the authors somewhat repeat what they said in Session 2. We need to connect with other men to build character.

We also need to connect with other men for support in all areas of our lives.

Of course, part of that support involves confessing secret sins and other things to brothers in the church.

Men need to encourage one another.

If any man has a secret sin they need to confess, confess it to another man now. Don’t continue keeping it to yourself.

Session 8 contains a lot of Purpose-driven Life bull.

Monday, December 7, 2009

OTTAWA PIRATE RADIO UPDATE

On Friday night, Jayhaed Saade played the audio from the CTV and Cbc interviews previously conducted at his studio.

For some reason, John Milkey finds this "cranium-scratching." One can only guess why the buck he thinks so.

Saade has also solicited advertising clients.

Keep it up.

Friday, December 4, 2009

OTTAWA PIRATE RADIO STATION STORY CONTINUES

Jayhaed Saade, the fourteen-year old Ottawa boy currently running pirate radio station Mix FM invited the media to visit his studio.

Apparently, there was a report on CTV Ottawa (which used to be called CJOH) last night, as well as a story published on Cbc's website today.

I think this is OK as long as the reporters keep the location a secret, but I would caution Saade to be careful.

I would also caution Saade to watch himself with regards to interfering with other radio stations, which has apparently been taking place. I don't really care that you're jamming the radio stations themselves since Ottawa doesn't have any good radio stations, but it's just a hassle you don't need.

Other than that, I continue to commend Jayhaed Saade's eferts and wish his pirate radio station continued success.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

THE ROLE OF THE CATHOLIC IN MODERN LITERATURE

In his 1983 book Smokescreens, Jack Chick talks about how Catholics are portrayed on television. He talks about how the priests are always portrayed as kind, benevolent human beings, such as Father Mulkahey on M.A.S.H. He talks about how on Drag Net, the Catholic is the innocent victim while the Protestant is "the one who just killed Grandma and hid her body in the attic."

I would like to cite some examples of how Catholics-and Protestants are portrayed in some novels of recent, and not so recent years.

Beach Music by Pat Conroy: The McCall family are the unfortunate victims of their circumstances while Protestant preacher Boy Tommy Green is a half-insane womanizer and Reverend Beedumbaugh, who runs an orphanage, rapes young girls. The matriarch's brother Jude finds his life's fulfillment in a convent, while one of the main character's best friends becomes a priest.

Forrest Gump by Winston Groom: Forrest's mama takes up with a Protestant who leaves her for a younger woman.

Silent Witness by Richard North Patterson: Tony Lord, a Catholic, is framed for the murder of his girlfriend, Allison Taylor by his Protestant best friend Sam Rob. Thirty years later, it turns out that Sam murdered Allison. Sam is a drunk, immature and a pervert. All the Protestants in this book are portrayed as idiots, racists, morose people, or snobs. Tony insults Protestants a couple times and finds solace in a Catholic church.

Probable Cause by Griff Stockley: There is a scene in the book where the narrator is told by a good friend that she is pregnant. The narrator, who was raised Catholic, thinks about the angry way the woman's Baptist parents will react, no matter what decision she makes.

Falling Bodies by Andrew Mark: A kindly Catholic priest aids the main character after the main character threatens the drunk driver who killed the main character's family.

True Justice by Robert K. Tanenbaum: The main family featured are a mixture of Catholic and Jewish while the victim, from a Protestant family was so scared to tell her Mom she was pregnant she delivered her baby by herself and botched things. The Protestant parents of the main character's daughter are murdered by their son.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh: The object of the main character's love, and her father, return to the Catholic church.

Fearless by Raphael Iglacias: The victim, a Catholic woman who lost her son in a plane crash, is comforted by a kindly, considerate Jewish man who was on the same flight.

MICHAEL J. FOX: A CANADIAN LOBSTER

A tourist was walking along the pier in Nova Scotia when he saw a fisherman with a bucket of lobsters. The tourist was incredulous to see that the bucket didn’t have a lid on it.

“Hey, fisherman,” the tourist said, “You might wanna put a lid on that bucket or all those lobsters’ll get out.”

“No,” the fisherman replied, “these are Canadian lobsters. As soon as one gets to the top, the others’ll pull ‘im back down again.”

In that spirit, I would like to tear down a major Canadian celebrity.

Michael J. Fox came to prominence in the 80’s sitcom Family Ties and starred in Back To The Future, Teenwolf and other blockbuster films of that era.

Family Ties was one of those crummy 80’s family togetherness sitcoms.

After Family Ties ended, Fox was never able to quite find the success he’d had in the 80’s. A diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease in 1991 limited the span of time in which he could still act.

In order to be with his family, Michael J. Fox returned to television with the series Spin City, a series which I don’t think will be remembered twenty years from now and which is even now fading from the collective memory.

Now this guy’s involved in fighting for embryonic stem cell research, even thow (1) how are you going to use dead cells to stimulate the brain to, in this case make dopamine (2) the cells are embryonic and therefore not fully developed and (3) it is being proven that adult stem cells work much better.

As to his legacy, Michael J. Fox will probably be remembered for Back To The Future and Family Ties. As I have said, in twenty years everyone will have forgotten about Spin City.

He never really escaped the teenage roles.

JAYHAED SAADE, KEEP IT UP

A 14-year old Ottawa boy refuses to shut down Mix FM, his pirate radio station.

Claiming to broadcast from a yet-to-be constructed building and with an antenna on top of an Ottawa hotel, Saade and his friends have been playing requests and taking phone calls, despite a cease and desist order from Industry Canada.

The website where I read about this story derides Saade's activities, saying "His friends like it, he plays all their requests." Yeah, and in college we were told not to even take requests. Pretty crummy.

The author of the site says, "For a headshaking read" we should check out the battle Saade is waging with posters on some tech forum of some sort, but typical of the links on this man's site, the link to the forum didn't work.

So Ottawa finally got a good radio station. I would like to applaud this boys eferts and tell him to keep it up.

Of course people like the author of the site I got this story from-oh buck, that's too complicated, I'll just refer to him as John Milkey-find this boy exercising his right to speak without paying the government the fees to broadcast appalling.

The story of this pirate broadcaster is immediately followed on John Milkey's website by an itim about how Astral Media Montreal English has appointed a promotions director for each of it's three radio stations. Sure, now that they've fired so many of the announcers they think they can buy the listeners off with contests in exchange for ever crummier programming.

Next, there follows a story about the Jack FM format launching in England, along with the usual claptrap about how good it is. Never mind that this format has failed in every market it was in except Vancouver.

Then there follows a story from the day before about long-time Easy Rock Toronto mid-day host Deryl Henry getting fired.

In an industry that is literally getting worse by the day, we need people like Jayhaed Saade to set up pirate radio stations.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A COUPLE LAME JOKES

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doorbell repair man.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
A spider.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

RADIO STATIONS I HAVE LISTENED TO ON THE WAY TO FUNERALS

In college, our teacher told us, "No one listens to the radio on the way to a funeral." As a rebuttal to this statement, here is a list of radio stations I have listened to while travelling to various people's funerals.

Auntie Ruth: Mix 97, Froggy 97, Magic 100

Grandma: Classic Hits 95.5, 97.3 Easy Rock

Eric Conchee: Classic Hits 95.5

Lillian Franks: Cool 100

Bev Browning: Cool 100

Lyonel Green: Classic Hits 95.5

PORNOGRAPHY IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

She walked into the room, unnoticed by him as his eyes were glued to the computer screen. He only turned around when he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“So, you’ve been looking at pornography again, have you, buckface.”

He said nothing.

“What’s wrong? Why do you have to do this everytime I go out?”

“Because you forget to take the modem in the car with you?” he replied, phrasing his answer like a question.

Her arm slammed sharply into his face.

“Look, buckbrain.”

She jerked his face to within a quarter inch of her mouth.

“Do my breasts displease you in some way? Is my vagina not to your liking?”

Tears began to roll down his face. She then picked up his chair and through it across the room.

“Get out. Leave the house so you can think about what you did.”

He stood up and made his way to the apartment door. As he stepped out into the hall, ahe felt an arm clamp tightly around his neck and force him back into the apartment.

“I hear you got a problem with lookin up the pornography,” the man with his arm around his neck said. “We’re gonna play a little game now. It’s called try to find a place on your body that doesn’t hurt.”

The large man began to work him over, smashing his head against the follr, punching and kicking him, breaking his fingers, arms and legs.

EMPIRE OF THE WORD PART 1: THE MAGIC OF READING

TV Ontario, Wednesday November 25, 10:00 p.m.

In part one of this four-part documentary, Argentinian director Alberto Mengel takes us through the history of reading, from Messipotamia to Alexandria to Griece, Rome and beyond.

He tells how in the 1400's, people began to be encouraged to interpret what they read for themselves, rather than being forced to go along with the Church's interpretation of the Bible. Menghel then exhibits some classic double think by saying that too much freedom to interpret the Bible is bad because it can lead to intolerance.

He shows a woman teaching Sunday school, then explains how being free to interpret the Bible however you want can lead to Christian fundamentalism, "Read it my way or you're dead." I bet the preacher that agreed to have Menghel film in his church is sorry he agreed to do so. You don't go casting your pearls before swine, preacher.

I would rather there be a whole bunch of conflicting interpretations of the Bible than have the Catholic church or anyone else dictate to me what every verse in the Bible means.

Monday, November 23, 2009

JESUS DIED ON A WEDNESDAY

Though most Christians celebrate Easter starting on Good Friday and ending on Easter Sunday, Jesus was actually crucified on a Wednesday.

People say, "Most scholars think he died on Friday." Well, the majority can often be wrong.

Jesus said He would be in the grave three days and three nights. Anyone who can count should know He couldn't have been in the tomb from Friday to Sunday and have that count as three days and three nights.

A day is defined as the time from sunrise to sunset, a night is defined as the time when it is dark.

Nights: Friday night, Saturday night. (2)

Days: Saturday (1)

People say "According to Jewish time reckoning, they counted the bit of Friday He was buried as one whole day."

First, I doubt very much this is true.

Second, it still doesn't add up properly.

Days: Friday, Saturday (2)

"Wait, wait, you're forgetting to count the part of Sunday as one whole day, too."

No, I'm not. When the women got to the tomb at sunrise, it was already empty, which means He had to have left before the day began.

Nights: Friday, Saturday (2)

You can't add it up, even if you factor in the fact that the next twenty-four hour period began at sundown.

Jesus was crucified on a Wednesday.

Nights: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (3)

Days: Thursday, Friday, Saturday (3)

Jesus probably rose at about sundown Saturday evening, or perhaps late Saturday afternoon.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

STARTING SCHOOL AND STILL WEARING DIAPERS

The following are exerpts from an article in the August 2, 2009 Sunday Telegraph entitled "Starting School And Still Wearing Nappies" Quotes are interspersed with my comments.

"School nurses are receiving special training to deal with an increasing number of pupils who are still wearing nappies."

Buck off!

"A growing number of parents are failing to potty train their children before sending them to primary school

"Some parents have made it a low priority because they are too busy (read don't care), while others have a more relaxed attitude and are happy to "wait until the child is ready", according to teachers.

Wait until the child is ready! That's a good one! Human beings are lazy by nature. Many kids would prefer to have you change them their whole lives if they could.

"There is no hard and fast rule about potty training, parents can only do it when their child is ready."

Buck you. Kindergarten is far too late for a child to still be wearing diapers.

"... whereas in the past there might have been pressure to conform."

Yeah, bitch. There are certain expectations society puts on people, one of which is that you should be able to use a toilet for buck sakes.

"Although some schools and nurseries refuse to take children who are still in nappies, local authorities now advise that they could be contravening the Disability Discrimination Act by doing so."

Oh, so if your kid would rather go in his diaper than use the toilet like he should be doing, that's now a disability. This is from a UK newspaper, after all.

Let me say that schools should have a policy in place for kids with medical problems who are incapable of being toilet trained. There is an increasing number of these children, do to parents, many of them stupid and cowardly, getting their children vaccinated.

"Any admission policy that sets a blanket standard of continence or requires parents to come and change a child, or leaves a child in a soiled nappy while they wait, could be considered discriminatory."

I definitely do not agree with leaving these children in their wet or dirty diapers. Teachers who do this deserve to be beaten up in my opinion.

"Generally we would say "not teachers", because they should be in class. But many teaching assistants say it's not in their job description either."

You teaching assistants change those retards' diapers or I will personally go over to the UK, find every single one of you who are guilty of this, and beat you senseless. Got that, bbuckface?

"Some parents complain that attempts to potty train children are undermined when they send them to nurseries that do not have the staffing levels to take them on frequent lavatory trips."

That's what the bloody nursery schools are all about: conform, conform, conform; schedule everything. You early childhood educators take these kids to the bathroom when they have to go. They can't be trained properly by having their bathroom visits put on a schedule.

Incidentally, at the daycare that my housekeeper's grandson went to, they started him using the toilet at 19 months.

"If you want mums to devote every waking day to their children and their development, we have to make it possible for them to survive financially while staying at home."

Those who really run the world don't want mothers to survive financially. In fact, they don't want any of us to survive physically. They've got plans to wipe out 95 percent of the human population.

Second, as I discussed in a post last month, a lot of mothers are just whores who want to work outside the home for the money.

"One nursery manager, who asked to remain annonymous, said that the job of potty training had been made harder for parents by modern nappies.

"My theory is that children now feel too comfortable in disposable nappies and the message from the bladder that they are wet or uncomfortable doesn't reach the brain," she said."

Of course. That's what these diaper companies and those who really run the world want. They would be quite happy if our children were never toilet trained. Remember, pullups are just diapers, buckfaces!

For advice about children and toilets that's actually good, click the link above.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

XXX CHURCH: REVISED EMAIL

Dear Craig,
I was at your session at the 2009 Promise Keepers Conference in Mississauga on Saturday. I found your talk very interesting and I think your ministry is doing a wonderful thing.

However, your talk did cause me to have some disturbing thoughts.

First, you said that recently three ministers have been kicked out of churches in Los Vegas for being addicted to porn. I just wonder what caused these men to become so addicted to porn in the first place. The few times I have accidentally looked up porn, I have been horrified and have prayed fervently that the Lord would help me not to look up this stuff again. If I were a pastor, alone in my office and I purposely looked up porn, I would be so filled with remorse and pray to the Lord for forgiveness. At what point in the process of these men's addiction did they not try to reach out for help.

God said he would write his law on our hearts. I can only think that a lot of these pastors were never really saved to begin with. Most churches don't teach the Bible plan of salvation, which according to Acts 2 38 is "repent and be baptised" not "accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour" or "ask him into your heart."

Women need to pray for their husbands constantly that they won't be tempted and fall into sexual sin while they're away at work.

Another thought that crossed my mind concerning pastors and other people who have been Christians for a long time getting addicted to pornography was that everything wasn't all right with these men's sex lives. A practical tip is that, if possible, these men should maybe try to have sex in the morning before they go to work. I think a certain amount of these kinds of sexual sins result from the level of testosterone being at it's highest point in the day when these men go to work.

An additional reason for the prevalence of addiction to pornography among Christians is that many Christians don't see people as people, only as points to be added to their Heavenly score card or bums they need to get into the pews of their churches. I think the key to putting away this horrible sin is to start seeing people-women and men, as Jesus Christ sees them. We need to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbour as ourselves. When a Christian truly does this, it helps with the sin currently under discussion as well as so many others.

AlsoAs for your debates with Ron Jeremy, part of me hopes he gets saved, but most of me says that Jew-boy's got too good of a deal going.

Alex Horton

Saturday, November 14, 2009

AN EMAIL TO XXX CHURCH

In the film Fireproof, Kirk Cameron smashes a computer in order to get rid of his porn addiction. I think he should have also done it to the head of one of the porn actors.

Come on, folks, it's time to start killing these people.Dear Craig,

I was at your session at the 2009 Promise Keepers Conference in Mississauga this morning. I found your talk very interesting and I think your ministry is doing a wonderful thing.



However, your talk did cause me to have some disturbing thoughts.



First, you said that recently three ministers have been kicked out of churches in Los Vegas for being addicted to porn. I just wonder what caused these men to become so addicted to porn in the first place. The few times I have accidentally looked up porn, I have been horrified and have prayed fervently that the Lord would help me not to look up this stuff again. If I were a pastor, alone in my office and I purposely looked up porn, I would be like:



"Lord, I don't deserve to live on your planet anymore,

Just send me to hell right now,

Please forgive me."



I can only think that a lot of these pastors were never really saved to begin with. Most churches don't teach the Bible plan of salvation, which according to Acts 2 38 is "repent and be baptised" not "accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour" or "ask him into your heart."



Women need to pray for their husbands constantly that they won't be tempted and fall into sexual sin while they're away at work.



A practical tip is that, if possible, these men should maybe try to have sex in the morning before they go to work. I think a certain amount of these kinds of sexual sins result from men not doing it in the morning and the level of testosterone consequently being high.



AlsoAs for your debates with Ron Jeremy, part of me hopes he gets saved, but most of me says that Jew-boy's got too good of a deal going.



Alex Horton

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

BEN: DIARY OF A HEROINE ADDICT

TV Ontario, October 27, 10:00 p.m.

"Ben: diary of a heroine addict" tells the story of Ben, a young man from England who decided to film the last few years of his heroine addiction.

The documentary contains all the usual things that happen to drug addicts: Ben looses his job; moves back in with his parents; his parents are unable to retire because they've given him so much money; he tries to quit cold turkey and fails. However, this film contains a surprise ending. When Ben is dying, the day before he's supposed to check himself into rehab, he says "Lord, forgive me for my sins."

I am confident that Ben is in heaven today.

YOUR CONSIGNMENT IS READY WITH APEX COURIER

An email appeared in my junk box this morning. Below is the contents of the message with my comments.

Also, the identity said We Trust In God. Why do these niggers that try to pull these scams always have to hide behind Christianity.

- Dear Friend,I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable Bank Draft of $950,000.00, but I did not hear from you since for a couple
of weeks now.

Funny, I must have amnesia. I don’t remember saying I’d send you a bank draft.

Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to expire and Dr.Wilson the Director of ECOBANK told me that before
the draft will get to your hand that it will expire. So I told him to cash the $950,000 USD UNITED STATES DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losing this
funds under expiration as I will be out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till ending of January 2010.

I don’t see how it would be in U.S. dollars since I am Canadian. Incidentally, I didn’t know people who took courses in banking graduated with doctorates.

What you have to do now
is to contact Apex Express Courier & Cargo Services as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your Consignment to you to avoid delay.

And they’re going to ask, “What consignment.” Since I never promised you a bank draft in the first place.

For your
information, I have paid for the Delivering charge and Insurance premium.The only money you will send to the Apex Express Courier & Cargo Services to deliver
your Consignment direct to your postal Address in your country is ($125 US) only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far.Again, don't
be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except $125 US Dollars.

Don’t worry about anyone else deceiving me. There’s already enough deception around here as it is.

I would have paid that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact
them and in case of demurrage.You have to contact Apex Express Courier & Cargo Services now for the delivery of your package with this information bellow
:Directors Name: Dr.Douglas Williams

I thought his last name was Wilson?

.Tell Phone: +229-93475456, Email: apexpcourier@yahoo.com.hk Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address
and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package
over there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay
and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $125.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.Note this. The Apex Express Courier & Cargo Services
don't know the contents of the Box. I registered it as a BOX of cloths. They did not know the contents was money. this is to avoid them delaying with the
BOX.

And also to avoid them stealing the money. You can’t trust these niggers.

Don’t let them know that box contents money ok.I am waiting for your urgent response. Best Regards,Paul Ozoh.

Why on earth do people get hoodwinked by these sorts of things? Why am I supposed to feel sorry for people who fall for these scams. Even old people should know better.

Instead of feeling sorry for the victims of these sorts of things or getting angry at these spammers, we should be laughing at their pathetic attempts to beat us out of our money.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

THE PRIESTS

Lucy emailed me again concerning The Priests new album. I guess she didn't see the post I wrote about it last week.

I think the thing about the Catholic church that ticks me off the most is their non-thinking nature. According to church doctrine, the pope is the source of all knowledge. This means knowledge on every subject: theological; scientific; historical, etc. Thus, it doesn't matter if the earth revolves around the sun: if the last thing the pope has said on the matter is that the sun revolves around the earth, Catholics have to believe him!

If the pope came out tomorrow and said, "The grass is blue and the sky is purple", Catholics would be going around saying, "Look at that beautiful blue grass" and "isn't the purple sky pretty today!"

They are the enemies of knowledge.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

CENTRE WALK

By Verne Edquist. Toronto: Devondale Books, 1993.

Centre Walk is a collection of reminiscences told by former students of the Ontario School For The Blind, now called the W. Ross Macdonald School. The titles of chapters consist of the name of the alumnist who is sharing their recollections in that chapter. What follows is my commentary on specific chapters.

First, let me say this book isn’t written very well. The foreword and the preface contain the same text, and what should be called the table of contents is called the index. Also, it’s not really in chronological order. You have a recollection from a student who started in 1911 followed by a student who started in 1872.

Ernest Lot
The school didn’t even really have academic subjects until 1916. A lot of schools for the blind were that way in the nineteenth century. The focus was on teaching them life skills. Blind people don’t need to know classic literature or calculus or anything like that. The students went into Principal Gardner’s office and demanded he add more academic subjects. He said, “Get out of my office.” Typical. The place was under the Office Of Institutions And Asylums!

They had square pies.

When the students moved into residences, there was no place to put anything. Typical of the school’s logic.

In this era, they started having the students go home for Christmas. So basically, you went there for ten months straight from the time you were six or so for eleven or however many years. When you graduated, you didn’t have any connection with your community because you’d been in an institution for the last eleven years of your life.

Robert Trouton
He attended the school from 1918-1926. He recalls a student being put in the school prison for putting his boots on his bed. The school had a prison. Why does that not surprise me. He says the handicapped function better as a group. Actually, they drag each other down do to their lack of social skills and thus are unable to function in society when they leave the school.

One kid went to the infirmary, was put to bed and the nurse forgot about him for three days. What a shoothead.

Susan Yonge-Jones-Mosher
She says the school helped her function socially in society. However, this is probably only because she had the foundation before she went to the school. She had five siblings to play with, plus their friends.

Donald And Helen Westbrook
When the students greeted each other, one person would say “Good day” and the other person would say their name. How stupid!

Donald feels the standards of discipline were higher at the OSB. He says that discipline in public schools these days is sorely lacking. He’s comparing apples and oranges. You would have to compare the standards of discipline at the OSB to those of a public school at the time.

The domestic sciences teacher would have a partially-sighted girl measure the liquid. What the buck? There isn’t going to be someone to measure liquid for a blind person when they get out on their own.

They had a sadistic gym teacher. He would cuff boys under the chin or slap them for walking with their arms outstretched, probably thinking they were faggots. One of the senior students pushed the teacher up against the wall and threatened to break the teacher’s neck if he ever did it again.

There was a discrepancy between the OSB’s exams and the Department Of Education’s exams, so the educational standards were lower after all.

The piano tuning teacher didn’t think blind people could do repair work. So much for the school being a place where blind people can excel.

In about 1933 or 1934, George Radcliffe, the night watchman mysteriously disappeared. He liked to go into the girl’s residence at night and look at them naked. Hopefully he got killed. Hopefully one of the girls slit him across the throat with a nail file or a razor blade, or maybe strangled him with an article of clothing.

Donald and Helen met through the school’s music program. They would meet secretly. One night, Helen’s meeting with Donald was reported to Miss Murray. Miss Murray said, “If you are after boys at fifteen, what will you be like at twenty-five.” Helen replied, “Probably selling myself on the street corner since your stigmatizing my sexual feelings which, by the way, are perfectly normal to have at my age.”

However, Miss Murray would take Helen and Donald to social events to perform together so she can’t have disapproved of their relationship that much.

Helen says blind people are told they are being watched by the public all their lives and they have to do better. Sure, you need to act in a way that is acceptable in society, but I ain’t got a bucking thing to prove to anybody.

Herbert Sutheran
He arrived at the school with a bag of chocolate bars given to him by his family. He was shown an empty locker to put them in and was told he could pick them up later. When he went to retrieve the chocolate bars, they were gone. The staff took them. Those bastards!

He was shown to the dining room where dinner consisted of cereal and apple sauce.

Many of the students talk about going to a restaurant, going shopping or helping a neighbouring farmer dig potatoes. Buck. The only time we went off school property and interacted with the sighted world was when we went to the Tim Hortons at Brantford General Hospital.

Bill Clark
He is a Salvation Army preacher, though the book doesn’t mention anything about him being saved. He had a weird teacher in Grade 2 who called him Bee. She said that if Bill couldn’t produce honey then there was no point in her staying the rest of the day. He has written some books and done some other work for CBMI.

Janet Stevens
She says that when she went to OSB, many girls would marry the first man they met when they got out into the real world. She says this does not happen today. Actually, a lot of girls from the school continue to date boys from the school after they leave.

Gerald Taylor
He came to the school for Career Day once. I didn’t attend his session, but the kids who did said he rambled on in a bunch of nonsequiters.

He talks about the school’s attitudes toward sex. He says they weren’t properly informed. He treated women he ran across after he left the school abominably, and even at thirty Gerald’s wife said he was still na├»ve toward women. It was the same way when I went there, really. Anything that happened below the waist was biewed as horrible. If a boy accidentally walked into the girl’s change room or washroom, people would act like it was a really big deal. The kids would make sexual ineuendos all the time.

Jasmin Schuhardt
She used to review descriptive videos for the CNIB’s newsletter, Wordsworthy. Then she went to university to be a psychologist.

She touches on how she really wasn’t prepared for the outside world upon leaving school. She also talks about how she was told to stand up for herself at home, while being told to be seen and not heard at school. I found a similar situation when I went to the school. Girls were sheltered and you got the impression the staff wanted to turn them into weak young women, perpetual damsels in distress, if you will, like Bo Peep or something. I was even told that if the girls were sitting together in the living room and one of them got up to go to the bathroom, the staff would ask them where they were going.

Michael Davidson
He recalls John Howe, whom he calls an excellent gym teacher. When I was there, Mr. Howe didn’t do much of nothing. He left it to the other gym teachers to do most of the actual teaching.

Michael Davidson also has the most humourous anecdotes in the whole book.

Dr. John Vandertoun
He was a music teacher at the school when I was there. He also preached the Sunday sermon at the 2004 allumnai reunion. It was the worst sermon I ever heard. He treated the Bible like a book of good advice.

He also recalls Bill Murphy with fondness. Mr. Murphy retired at the end of the first year I was there, but I found him to be a kind and encouraging man.

Jeff Heeley
Jeff Heeley is probably the most successful attendee of the W. Ross Macdonald School For The Blind, but you have to keep in mind he left the school at the end of Grade 7.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

ONTARIO'S NEW CELL PHONE LAW

On Monday, a ban went into place in Ontario prohibiting drivers from using cell phones, blackberries and other things.

There's no question that using a cell phone or texting while driving is dangerous. However, we already have negligence laws to deal with this sort of thing. How many people don't know that talking on a cell phone while driving can hamper your ability to drive? Therefore, if you get into an accident, it is a matter of negligence. If you get into an accident and hurt or kill someone, it is a matter of criminal negligence. Same goes for all the other different laws they put in place.

This is really good acording to a lot of citizens the media have talked to. In fact, these bastards would see carrying on a conversation in a car banned if they could.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

ONTARIO TO IMPLEMENT FULL-DAY KINDERGARTEN BY 2015

Premier McGhinty announced yesterday that Ontario will have full-day kindergarten provincewide by 2015.

Parents are excited about this. They say it'll really help their children do well academically.

Plus, they'll be able to go back to work and make more money. Ah, now we get to the heart of the issue.

First, the only way a child develops a love of learning is if parents teach them things at home.

Second, when children enter grade 1, the ones who have been to daycare or full-day kindergarten are more advanced than their peers, but by grade 2 you can't tell the difference. Additionally, the ones who haven't been to daycare have more imagination and are better at problem-solving because they haven't had everything structured for them.

These parents say this move by the Ontario government will allow their children to get better jobs. Jobs doing what? What jobs do you see currently available?

There are two scenerios for the future: the classic New World Order scenerio where we're all in concentration camps; or the scenerio that some globalists have put forth where India handles all the technical jobs, Mexico handles all the manufacturing jobs and North America is "a service-based economy", which means the only jobs that will be available are flipping burgers or clerking in a store for minimum wage.

As I mentioned earlier, the heart of the issue is that this will allow mothers to go back to work and make more money. You're selling the love, nurturing and teaching of your children for a paycheck! You don't think we'll have to pay extra taxes to pay these teachers to work longer?

Women that want this are all a bunch of whores.

Monday, October 26, 2009

RANDY ORTON'S APARTMENT

The Ron James Show is truly awful, isn't it?

The Milky Way was not discovered by a cow.

Very rarely is the letter w in the French alphabet.

REST STOPS ALONG THE 401 CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS

Many of the service stations along Highway 401 have closed recently.

This is so that the government can renovate them before leasing them out to new owners.

This has frustrated many people, particularly when it comes to finding a washroom. Many people are outraged.

The question could logically be asked, why did the government give all these leases to companies to operate service stations when they knew they were all going to expire at the same time?

Typical government incompetence, you say.

However, there is more to it than government incompetence. The government is run by sociopaths. They feed off our frustration and enjoy our pain.

It's that simple, folks.

MUSIC FROM THE VATICAN

A couple weeks ago, a guy named Peter Ruppert emailed me. Ruppert is involved in a project called Music From The Vatican. The album he is responsible for is called Alma Mater and is dedicated to the virgin Mary.

The album incorporates styles of music from around the world, emphasizing how everyone should surrender their will to the pope.

Mary has no business being worshipped. At the wedding in Cana, Jesus said, "woman what have i to do with you" When the disciples told Jesus his mother and brothers were outside, he said that his family were the people who did his will.

The way Catholics act concerning Mary is just horrible. She was a woman who needed Jesus like everybody else. She doesn't intercede on behalf of the father for our prayers: Jesus does that.

If you're looking for a gift to get a Catholic this Christmas, get them a Bible. Then they'll read it and see how rediculous praying to Mary and all the Catholic church's other garbage doctrines are.

THE PRIESTS: AMAZING GRACE

A couple weeks ago a woman named Lucy emailed me with a link to a video of The Priests singing Amazing Grace.

The Priests are a classical music group from the UK. I'm assuming the group is made up of Catholic priests.

Personally, I found their rendering of this most classic of hymns staid. It was all about singing everything correctly and wasn't inspiring at all.

Also, the nerve a bunch of Catholic priests have to talk about grace. The Catholic church really does not have the concept of grace. Sure, God will save you, but you have to go to confession every Saturday and say the rosary and pray up a flight of steps. Even if you do all these things perfectly, you might still go to purgatory when you die for some past sins.

Watch the video by clicking the link above and decide for yourself whether it's inspiring or not.

Oh yeah, deciding things for yourself: also a concept which is absent in the Catholic church.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ZERO TO SIXTY

by Gary Paulsen. New York: Harcourt, Brace And Company, 1997.

The bestselling children's author purchases a Harley and drives from New Mexico to Alaska and back again. He finds that when he is riding the bike his thoughts drift. During the journey Paulsen recalls parts of his life, including the lessons he learned as a boy from a redneck cop, and playing poker with some of the roughest people you'd ever be likely to meet.

This book is compelling and gripping to a very high degree. Paulsen's award-winning writing is as wonderful as ever, and you find yourself having to put down the book after every chapter in order to digest the incidents Paulsen writes about.

Paulsen has lived one of the most interesting lives of anyone. A biopic should be made if there is not one already.

Be warned, though, this isn't Gary Paulsen's typical kid stuff. There is some very fowl language.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

DON'T LET'S GO TO THE DOGS TONIGHT

by Alexandra Fuller. New York: Random House, 2001.

This is a dreadfully fowl and repugnant book.

Fuller tells about her childhood in Africa, growing up with her alcoholic, white trash parents.

It's possible that Fuller might be using incredulity to dull the pain of her experiences, but it just comes off as a weird kind of celebration of the events.

And what they do to a Baptist preacher who comes to visit doesn't even bare telling!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

INTERVIEW WITH SHARON HAMPSON

The following is yet another thing I rescued from Geocities. The Elephant Show was one of my favourite shows as a child.

If the webmaster objects to me posting this interview, contact me and I will delete this post.

A Conversation with Sharon Hampson

A while back, I had the opportunity to have a phone conversation with Sharon Hampson, of Sharon, Lois & Bram. Before I say anything, I must thank Sharon
again. It was incredible getting to talk to one of the three performers who made my childhood so great.

Sharon, Lois & Bram have been known as role models for children all over North America. Knowing that, the first thing I discussed with Sharon was her role
models. Hampson told me that her musical role model was always Pete Seager, who was a folk singer with the group the Weavers. Not only was Seager a great
folk musician, but as she put it, "Seager has a high moral code and speaks about strong views."

Believe it or not, Sharon Hampson did not always want to be a singer. At a young age, Sharon wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher; however she always had
a love for music, as it was always a regular part of her family life. She has been working with kids since Grade 6, and simply combined her love of music,
with her love of kids, to get one of the greatest jobs someone could have!

Everyone knows of Sharon Hampson as one-third of the trio Sharon, Lois & Bram, but I always wondered how exactly they all met. When we discussed this topic,
Sharon stated that "We both got involved in each others activities." At the time, Sharon was involved in a folk festival known as "Mariposa in the Schools"
and Lois was involved in a library program known as "Music for Children." Both worked on each others projects, making a true friendship. Sharon knew Bram
from “teenage coffee house days," but he also participated in "Mariposa." Bram gained friendship with Sharon even more through her children, who knew Bram
as a music teacher.

At this point, all three were supposed to participate in a "Mariposa" album, but Bill Usher suggested that Sharon Hampson, Lois Lillienstein and Bram Morrison
should do an album together. This was the very beginning of Sharon, Lois & Bram. At the time of the recording of their 1978 album "One Elephant, Deux Elephants,"
it wasn't intended to be the trio's career, but because of albums huge response, Sharon, Lois & Bram continued to record, and continued to gain popularity.
As Sharon pointed out, making their first album took a lot. "Lots of planning and borrowing money before we could record the album in May of 1978."

We also talked about how the three were really not a trio yet at time of "One Elephant." They were three separate singers, who sang solo on many songs,
but as the years went on, they began to sing better as the group Sharon, Lois & Bram. As Sharon noted, when you put three totally unique voices together,
you're very lucky when you get such a great sound that the group had, and still have.

Eric Nagler was always a major role in "Sharon, Lois & Bram's Elephant Show." He was seen in every episode, and played at most of the groups concerts around
the time of the show. I discussed with Sharon how they met Eric. As she quotes, "We always knew Eric from the folkie scene." As the group was brainstorming
for ideas for the show, Eric was mentioned, and that's about it. He was always a great folk artist, and another person who had a love for children.

At this point in our phone conversation, Sharon told me a story about the origin of "The Elephant Show." Arnie Zipursky and Bruce Glawson, who were right
out of film school, both knew the group through their nieces and nephews. They wanted to do a TV show with the group, and Zipursky and Glawson seemed to
be the only two who came through with money and truly were interested. A special was created for the CBC network called "Live at Young People's Theatre,"
which was well-received, and which sparked the creation of Cambium Productions, and "The Elephant Show." In fact, clips from the Young People's Theatre
special can be seen on the pilot of the show, "Elephant's Doctor."

We then discussed how "The Elephant Show" was taped. Normally, the crew would go out and shoot the show in the summer. This is how all the outdoor segments
were always done, so it wouldn't be freezing cold during taping. As many people know, the show was shot around Toronto, which can get VERY COLD. The episodes
were then edited around fall, and preparation for the next season started around the next winter, while touring still occurred at this time not only promoting
the show, but their albums based on music from the show.

"The Elephant Show" lasted for 5 seasons of 13 episodes each. The show came to an end in 1988. I talked with Sharon about why the show actually came to
an end. As Sharon stated, "We were told that 65 episodes was the right number to do," and as viewers knew, every episode had an original story. That would
also be quite hard to keep up without repeating scenarios. 1988 was also the year that "The Elephant Show" came to the U.S. and aired on Nickelodeon, a
U.S. children’s cable network. The popularity of the show went through the roof, and although Sharon, Lois & Bram expected to take a breather after the
show ended, touring was more popular than ever! Tours expanded out of Canada and into many U.S. destinations, including Long Island, New York (at the Westbury
Music Fair) where I got the opportunity to see the trio.

As I commented, the thing about "Sharon, Lois & Bram's Elephant Show" is that it evolved so much between 1984 and 1988. In the beginning, the episodes
were about simple things like going on a Picnic, or to an Amusement Park. Towards the end, the episodes got more interesting, such as "Birth of the Show,"
an episode all about the fictional creation of "The Elephant Show" and "The Early Years," a fictional but very entertaining story about how Sharon, Lois
& Bram became Sharon, Lois & Bram.

As we talked more about the show, she told me that she feels that many think the show is dated. According to her, as true Sharon, Lois & Bram fans know,
how can a show so welcoming and sweet, about simple stories ever be dated? "Parents come in to a child watching Barney and run from the room, we created
a show that the whole family would enjoy." As Sharon said, the show was not a lot of "Razzamatazz," but it was a good quality show which all kids deserve
to grow up with.

There were so many songs sung on "The Elephant Show." Many cannot be heard on the albums that Sharon, Lois & Bram put out in stores. We talked about how
they picked songs to be placed on the albums. As Sharon noted, it was very difficult picking songs, but the group would simply go through all their songs,
look for good mixtures of different styles of song, and put them together on an album. One thing about the group and their albums is that they never "cheaped"
out on the number of songs on an album. They would always give the kids their money's worth. As Sharon quotes, "Taping the show was like going to camp.
We'd see everyone every summer, and during the other seasons we would hardly see the crew at all."

As it sounds from how Sharon puts it, her years spent taping "The Elephant Show" seem to be some of the greatest years of her life. Most recently, the
trio created another television show known as "Skinnamarink TV," and is now celebrating 25 years as Sharon, Lois & Bram.

Sharon, congratulations and thanks again for not only your time during our conversation, but for being one of the people that made my childhood so great.

Monday, October 19, 2009

DEGRASSI PERSONALS

The following are exerpts of something I rescued from Geocities. I managed to edit out MOST of the filthy parts.

DEGRASSI PERSONALS

Hi Im Alexa! Well, after my beautiful performance at Degrassi, I had to become an actress! Well, it didnt quite work out, and now all i do is work at a
local Value Village. Yes, I know, I cant stand being around dirty used clothes. But I do get free staind underwear, and bras! Not to mention used deodorant,
and broken condoms. Oh, and I got married to Simon! What a HUNK!

Hi. I'm BLT. I have Mulitple Sclerosis, Tubular Lungitis, and other such diseases. Well, thats all i have to say, although I went for the NBA, it never
worked out for me. I wish I was a stud. Look at my big lips! WOW They are HUMUNGOUS! I never realized.

Hey everybody, I'm Kaitlan, one of the only good looking people on the show. Well I htink so anyways. I cant beleive I went out with that dork Joey! He
is so inconsiderate! Well, if your wondering what Im doing now, I work for Greenpeace. Which reminds me, what did I ever see in tht loser Claude? What
an idiot! Can you beleive this guy? Ugh makes me sick! Yea, so I stand infront of hunters guns when theyre tryig to hunt deer. I got shot with a rifle
67 times, and got shoot with a harpoon, only about 8 or 9 times. Well, good day! Oh and, save the rainforest!

Hi/ Im Claude. Aint I a sexy bitchass? Well, I blew my brains out in the Degrassi series. Wow, that ended my career. Like it was going anywhere anyways!

Hi im Joey.I lie getting geaten up by big guys. By the way, this is my friend Dwayne. Be nice to him, he has HIV! Hes a decent guy though.

Hi. Im Lucy. The fun one who could never get a boyfriend! And when I did, they always turned out to be nerdy guys with glasses. They were really ugly eh?
Well anywasy, im doin my own little thang now, Im probably the most successful one out of the whole cast. I work for a big business. Im the CEO of Nabisco
Shredded Wheat. Isnt that fanstastic? I got married to Alex. You know that ugly kid who got totally shot down by Stephanie Kay, and that other dum broad
Tess? Well, yea I'm married to him!

Hey. Im Michelle. I got married to Snake shortly after the show. He's so cute. And he beat up BLT fo me.

Hey Im Spike, the only kool one in the show. Although I look like some sort of lizard in this picture...well, Emmas 11 years old now! Isnt that great? Shes
so great! I had a hard time bringin her up, shes in drugs and prostittion now, and i sent her to boot camp about 6 times already. That little brat.
RIP THE SYSTEM!.........? k cya.

Heeeeey buuuuuuuuuuuuudy! Im wheels! The kickenest guy in the world! YEA E YEA! Man, I rule everyone here! If it wasnt for my geeky face, then Degrassi
would of never made it! ZIT REMEDY RULES! YEA! I work at Money Mart currently. Yea, I make only about 7 bucks an hour. But what can I say?

DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION: EPISODE REVIEW

The first episode of Degrassi last night concerned Johnny taking nude photos of Ali. Since Ali and Claire are friends, you would think Ali would have learned about that sort of thing from Darcy's experience. That's the thing about Degrassi: the kids never learn; they only make bigger mistakes.

The second episode was about Johnny possibly giving Ali vd. The episode was basically an advertisement for the HPV vaccine. Girls, do not get that vaccine. It only protects against a couple of the one hundred strains of the virus, and not even the most prevalent ones. Google "Gardasil deaths."

444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

There was a story on Cbc Friday about Chinese people being superstitious about the number four. Apparently, in Cantonese the word for four is also the same word for death. Cities are giving people the option of replacing the four in their street address.

Will our bending over backward for these people never end? This is carrying acomodation too far. We live in Canada. Our numerical system goes
1234567890
and if you don't like it, leave.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

RANDY ORTON'S APARTMENT

Formerly "Does John Cena Do His Own Laundry?"

Hello Everybody,
I'm buzzed on a Tuesday. Gotta love it.

Boy, is Saudi Arabia ever big!!!

So, in Ontario where I live we are experiencing unseasonably low temperatures. We are going to have snow on the ground before long. It'll be the first time in years we've had snow in October.

So, the Cbc says that they want to get mor conservative. Since 2005 they've been investigating the fact that they have a liberal bias. My guess is that they figure if there's an election Stephen Harper will get a majority (thus securing his cardboard cut-out status.) Plus, the Cbc is facing a budget shortfall, has already asked for extra money and has been denied, so they figure if they kiss up to the Conservatives by having Jan Wong guest host The Current and by partnering with the National Post and by having This Hour Has 22 Minutes constantly make fun of Michael Ignatiaf then they might get the extra money. Cbc has always known which side it's bread is buttered on.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

RON JAMES

Cbc, Fridays 8:00

The Ron James Show features comedian Ron James performing stand-up and sketches. The stand-up routines are as great as ever, but the premises for most of the sketches are lame and old: a guy goes into a doctor's office and is told he has two and a half minutes to live, a guy brings home a new piece of technology and everything goes horribly wrong, etc. There are also animated sketches featuring Ron as a little boy, with the usual stereotypical Maritime humour.

The show really isn't very good, but I will watch it for James' excellent routines.

Friday, October 9, 2009

SETH MCFARLANE GETS ON MY NERVES

I have had it up to here with Seth McFarlane.

When Family Guy first came on the air, it was the show that all the kids in the know watched. It was edgy and way out there and pushed the envelope in so many ways. Quite frankly, it was also really funny. When it was cancelled, I was saddened. I was overjoyed to hear that it was returning in 2005.

The returned Family Guy was good for a while, then it became about too many cutaways, McFarlane airing his left-wing views and was frankly not as funny as when it first premiered.

When I first saw American Dad, I thought it was good, albeit a reworking of Family Guy with political humour.

I continued watching Family Guy and American Dad for a couple years. Then I just couldn’t take it. In addition to the reasons listed above, the subtle sexual subtext of everything got on my nerves. The dog is secretly attracted to the wife, the father and the baby are both homosexuals. On American Dad the wife’s a lesbian, the brother and sister are attracted to each other and the alien is homosexual.

It is also quite plain that Seth McFarlane supports pedophelia. There is Herbert on Family Guy. There is the episode of American Dad where Stan admits he’s never killed anyone. A pedophile kidnaps Chris at the water park and Stan ends up shooting his partner instead of the pedophile. There are also of course the many instances of children involved in sexual situations.

Now McFarlane has come out with The Cleveland Show. Let me guess, it features a talking plant. It probably features a lot of vulgar jokes and bizarre sexual relationships as well.

Monday, October 5, 2009

NOT CUT OUT FOR PRESIDENT

A little while ago, there was a joke email going around that Barack Obama was going to be relieved of his duties of president of the United States and the office was going to be outsourced to India.

This got me thinking harder about an idea I've had for a long time.

By now it's pretty obvious to many people that it doesn't make any difference who you vote for. It's also pretty obvious that the candidate who will be elected is determined long before we the people go to the polls.

For example, the 2008 U.S. Democratic race, between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. No one would vote for Hillary Clinton because of what her husband Bill had been involved in, so that left Obama on the Democrat ticket.

Then there is the election itself, between John McCain and Barack Obama. People weren't going to vote for the candidate who was endorsed by the guy who screwed everything up for the past eight years, so Obama became president.

For another example, let's look at last year's Canadian federal election. No one would vote for the NDP, Canadians wouldn't vote for the bumbling, owlish Dionne, so that guarantied Stephen Harper would stay at 24 Sussex Drive.

So, since it doesn't matter who we vote for and men in high places pick the people who are going to be our leaders long in advance of elections, here is what I say we do concerning who will rule our nation in the upcoming years.

Down in the States, they should appoint Jimmy Carter President For Life. When he dies, install a cardboard cut-out of Ronald Reagan in the chair in the Oval Office for three months. Then appoint George Bush Sr. president for life, or if he is no longer alive by this time put a cardboard cut-out of him in the chair for three months, as per Reagan. Then appoint Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama presidents for life respectively. When Obama is dead, we will figure out what to do about our leadership then.

Similarly in Canada, we should appoint Joe Clark president for life. Then, when he dies, appoint John Turner to the office, or a cardboard cut-out for three months. Do the same thing with Brian Mulroney, Kim Campbell, Jean Cretien (might have to substitute a cardboard cut-out for three months at that point), Paul Martin and Stephen Harper. As with Obama, when Harper's dead, worry about who'll fill the office then.

This solution would hopefully put to rest forever the notion that we live in a democratic country. People wouldn't have to worry about following what's happening around election time and wouldn't have to agonize over who they are going to vote for when all the candidates suck. Best of all for many people, they would probably never have to think again because having total power would turn these guys (and in one case a girl) into even bigger dictators than they are already, so every aspect of our lives would eventually be controlled.

CBC'S LACK OF PROMOTION

It frustrates me how Cbc does so little to promote it's television shows sometimes.

For example, the show This Is Wonderland. All Cbc did to promote that was a promo before the show premiered, a promo for an episode in the first season when the main character thinks she will leave the firm and promos for the second and third seasons.

Another example is J-pod. Below is the copy for the sum total of promos the Cbc ran to advertise this show.

This is Ethan, a techno geek with his life out of control. His biggest problem? His parents.

"What is going on with you two?"

---

The reviews are in. J-pod gets the nod.

Then Cbc has the nerve to complain that no one is watching these shows.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

REPLY AWL

The August issue of Readers Digest has an article about a woman who had been a heavy drinker, but managed to cut down on her alcohol consumption. I'm glad she did this herself without having to resort to AA or something like that.

The August 17 issue of Maclean's has an article about a Dutch woman whose plans to have a ship roaming the ocean providing abortions and abortion-related services have been curtailed by the Dutch government. There are certainly some sick people in this world.

In the July-August issue of Canadian Geographic, Canadian author Don Gilmore wrote about his experiences at summer camp. I know going to camp taught me a fair amount of social skills and gave me lots of fond memories.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION

Elimination communication is based on the fact that babies know when they need to go to the bathroom. A parent can take advantage of this fact and, using things like cues and timing, allow the baby to eliminate in the toilet.

Method
To begin, start by observing your baby’s signs. You will notice that, before they eliminate they do certain things. Signs can include facial expressions, unexplained fussiness, squirming, etc.

When watching your baby, you will also notice that they eliminate at certain specific times, such as after meals, when they wake up in the morning or after their nap.

Once you notice your baby is about to eliminate, take them into the bathroom, remove their diaper and hold them over the toilet. Make a ssss sound if it is for urination, or an mmmm sound if it is for a bowel movement. This is to let them know that this is an acceptable place to relieve themselves. Eventually, they will learn to associate these “cue sounds” with elimination and will make the sound to let you know that they have to go.

Answering Objections

“It’s the parent who gets trained.”

Whether you are changing diapers or using elimination communication, you are going to have to deal with your baby’s elimination needs one way or the other. It might as well be this way as opposed to changing diapers for two years, then trying to toilet train your child when he or she is at their most oppositional stage.

“I can’t see myself doing this all the time.”

Elimination communication doesn’t have to be practiced full time. Even if you can only do it once a day or at some other regular interval, the infant still responds very well to it.

“What if you’re in a situation where you can’t get the child to a toilet?”

Elimination is very adaptable to different situations, such as in the car or out in public. However, if you can’t get the baby to a toilet or some other acceptable place, don’t worry. EC is like a bus. If you miss one, you catch the next one.

For more information on the adaptability of elimination communication, visit
Diaperfreebaby.org

Monday, September 21, 2009

COUNTING THE COST

Yesterday in church, our pastor preached from Luke 14.

"if any come to me and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters yea and his own life also he cannot be my disciple"

If we want to come to Jesus, we must first count the cost. Serving Jesus can cost us our relationships with our families, our standing in the community, all our worldly possessions, and even our lives.

In Grade 11 biology, our teacher showed a film about homosexuality.

She said, "If anyone says anything, they loose two marks."

This must have been two marks off our course because I don't remember getting an assignment on the film.

One student immediately said, and I'm quoting here, "They score by plugging guys up the ass."

The teacher said, "Eric, you loose two marks."

I didn't say anything because I was a fairly new Christian at that point and didn't really know what to say concerning homosexuality. If I had, though, I would have stood up and said a whole bunch of things. Oooh, I loose two marks for every remark I make. I'm failing this course and don't care about my marks anyway.

This film had a really bad spin, too. They interviewed a bunch of people who said things like, "When I was three-years old my dad took me to the gym and I can remember being in the shower looking around and thinking, "This is cool" or "When my son was six-years old I went into his closet and found Playboy magazines and I was surprised (when he said he was homosexual) because you can't get much more het than Playboy except for maybe Penthouse." For the "other perspective" they showed a Baptist minister at a protest in the southern United States. One of the mothers who had been interviewed earlier said, "I love my son." The minister replied, "I have no doubt that you love your son" then the mother interrupted him and they cut away to something else. When the Baptist minister was speaking, my teacher said, "But that's a 2000-year old book."

Now, let's carry this situation to a current classroom in the public school system, or even in some private school. The teacher is going to show a film about homosexuality, and she says if anyone objects to the content they loose two marks off the course. The students can't choose not to participate in the class because it's biology, not social studies so the film is being shown in the name of science and not in the name of pushing a social agenda.

There is a student in the class who became a Christian a few years ago. She knows all the arguments for why homosexuality is wrong. However, she has been a straight A student all through school. Her non-Christian parents prize good marks allmost above everything else. She can either choose to say nothing or stand up against this propaganda that is being shown in the classroom.

She waits till the film is over. Then she says:

"I'd just like to say that film sucked. That one guy was looking at other guys in the shower at three. So? Kids do things like that at that age. My aunt runs a daycare centre. The kids'll watch each other go to the bathroom. They'd run around nude if they could. And that guy who had the Playboy magazines at six. Did they bother to delve deeper into these people's pasts to find out other reasons why they might have become homosexuals? And the only thing they showed to give the film a "balanced perspective" was some minister at some protest who could hardly get a word in edgewise. As for what you said about the Bible being a 2000-year old book, so are all the Latin and Greek guys and we still listen to what they have to say."

The student has made enough remarks by now that she will be getting a big fat zero on the course.

At some point during these remarks, the teacher is going to say, "Jennifer (let's call her that), sit down or I will send you to the principal's office."

Jennifer can either risk being sent to the principal's office, or she can continue to speak out against this horrible propaganda.

She decides to speak out against it and is sent to the principal's office.

"Now, what's this about?"

"The teacher showed a film in biology class about homosexuality and said for every remark someone made against it, they would loose two marks off their course."

Here's a spoiler for any older folks reading this. "You mean the principal isn't going to stand up against the teacher's blatant unfairness?"

"You have no right to express your views in this public institution. You have no right to force your views on the other students. I am going to call your parents."

At this point, Jennifer can either recant:

"Mr. Principal, I'm sorry. I should never have spoken out like that. I won't do it again. Please don't call my parents."

Or she can do the godly thing and stand up for God and his principles.

Jennifer's parents are called.

"I can't believe you failed your biology course just so you could express your opinions. What were you thinking?"

Now, since the system likes to play with people like a cat plays with a mouse, the principal will say:

"I'll overlook it this time, but next time Jennifer does something like this, she will be suspended."

Believe me, there will be a next time. Maybe the next film will be about abortion. Does Jennifer stand up for her Christian principles or does she say nothing for fear of being suspended?

The thing is, she's already lost her course, so a one-day suspension doesn't seem so bad. The time after that, a three-day suspension doesn't seem so bad, until finally, getting expelled doesn't seem so bad. When you've lost everything, persecution doesn't seem so hard to bare.

Monday, September 14, 2009

ORLENA CAIN JOINS MIX 97

Orlena Cain has joined the Mix morning crew on Belleville's Mix 97.

Orlena Cain runs Sugar Cane Entertainment, an online magazine. According to its website, the magazine's staff is made up of "journalists, public speakers and media professionals" so presumably she isn't just on the show for her remarkable ability to get guys sexually aroused.

Due to the fantastic lack of details on the website where I originally found out this news, I don't know what happened to Ingrid Moore, the standard female broadcaster who was on the morning crew until only last week.

I don't know Quinte Broadcasting anymore!

Update 09/17: Ingrid Moore is co-hosting mornings at Mix 97's rival, Quinte's Best Music 95.5.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

REPLY AWL

An article in the March 10, 2009 edition of The Washington Post talks about how robots are being used to help children with autism and other disabilities learn to interact with the world. So far, these experiments are in their trial stage. I don’t know. Do we really want to get to the point where disabled children interact with robots most of the time instead of humans?

An article from the June 9, 2009 edition of The New York Times talks about the work scientists are doing concerning personal robots. In the future, they say these robots will perform tasks around the house, such as cleaning and laundry. This worries me a bit. These robots are powered by microchips. Given how easy it is to insert viruses, spy ware and malware into a computer, what unforeseen consequences might personal robots have.

For example, someone could get a hold of the code for the microchips controlling the Jones’s personal robot. Then, they could track the robot through a computer and learn sensitive information about the family. For example, the nefarious individual could see the robot carrying empty wine bottles, used condoms and porno magazines to the garbage from Mr. Jones’s study. The thing is Mrs. Jones is out at this time. The hacker could then use this information to blackmail Mr. Jones.

An itim in the July 31, 2008 Dr. Knowledge newsletter lists funny lyrics to country songs. The city boys who write these things don’t understand country music. They think all country and western songs are about trucks. Actually, the only true country song I’ve ever heard about a truck is C.W. McCall’s “Convoy.” They think all country songs are ridiculous and fit only for stupid rednecks. You have to grow up on country music, as I have done to appreciate it.

“All My Exes Live in Texas”: This is a classic song! It was first sung by Waylon Jennings, I believe.

The rest of the songs on the list are pretty obscure, not the type of thing you’d actually hear on the radio.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

STEVE MARLIN AND MIKE HILL FIRED FROM CJBQ

Recently, Quinte Broadcasting employees Steve Marlin and Mike Hill were let go, which is to say fired.

Marlin had worked at Quinte Broadcasting for 28 years and had been doing middays on Cjbq for the past two years.

Hill had been with the company six years and had been a full-time music director for the past two years, occasionally filling in on-air.

Quinte Broadcasting president Bill Morton called the firings "simple restructuring."

What the buck. Quinte Broadcasting used to be the type of company that never fired long-time employees. What earthly good could this move have for Cjbq and Quinte Broadcasting as a whole?

Replacing Marlin in middays is recent Loyalist College grad J.D. Brown. He's very talented and personable but this decision still sucks.

I just don't know this industry anymore.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

CKWS-TV, CHEX-TV: FALL LINEUP

At this time of year, I like to check out Ckws and Chex-tv to get a look at their new fall schedules. This season, they have made the following changes:

Both stations now have an hour and a half of Cbc Kids programming instead of an hour.

Evangelist Rod Hembry is on at 10:30. I think this is a good thing. It helps make them distinct, and is better than the infomercial that was previously in that time slot. Hembry isn't the only preacher that airs weekdays on Ckws and Chex; James Robinson is still on at 8:30.

At 2:00, it's "One Life To Live." I don't know if this is a good choice of programming since soap operas are becoming less and less popular. However, they literally have nothing else to put on the air since "Stephen And Chris" is on hiaydis.

At 3:00, it's Divine Design/Take This House And Sell It. Again, the last thing anyone needs to see is another home makeover show but they don't have anything else to put on the air. Cbc apparently hasn't renewed the rights for Martha Stewart.

At 4:00, it's Ghost Whisperer. Though I personally disapprove of this show, this is a good decision from a programming standpoint since you can't see reruns of Ghost Whisperer many other places. It also might attract teenagers coming home from school.

At 5:00, Ckws and Chex were faced with the problem of what to run, due to the fact that Cbc is no longer rerunning The Simpsons, showing an expanded newscast in it's place. In answer to this question, these two stations have chosen to run The New Adventures Of Old Christeen. Personally, I don't know anyone who watches this show, but again it has the factor of being a program you can't see reruns of anywhere else.

On the whole, Ckws-tv and Chex-tv's fall lineups offer distinct programming, but they also smack of these two outlets just trying to stay on the air.

Further details as they become available.

Update 9/09: It turns out Ghost Whisperer is also being shown on the main Cbc network.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

REPLY AWL

There was an article in the June 24 edition of the Independent which talked about children under five being suspended from British schools for "sexually explicit behaviour."

The problem is, the article doesn't mention any specific sexual behaviour.

"Reported incidents included biting, a persistent refusal to follow instructions, swearing, running away from staff, kicking or hitting staff, climbing the school fence and throwing chairs."

Doesn't sound like sexually abused children acting out to me. It just sounds like undisciplined children.

An article in the June 23 edition of The Guardian talks about flexi-time, where children spend part of the week in school and part of the week being educated at home. The writer predicts this practice will become more widespread due to new home-schooling regulations in the UK.

"Badman (appropriate name, AH) called for restrictions for full-time home educators, forcing families who opt out of schooling to register annually with their local authorities, submit learning plans and undergo regular inspections."

Want to guess how many learning plans will be aproved and how many parents will pass inspection?

I really don't think flexi-time is a good idea. Homeschoolers should not be bedfellows with the public school system.

A post on the public school system is coming up.

The writer sites the social benefits of flexi-time. I'd like to point out that home-schooled children don't suffer less socially than children who go to regular schools. They can play and participate in activities with their publicly educated friends outside of school hours.

I would remind UK parents of the axium "you can't have it both ways."

As for home schooling parents having to submit learning plans, where's the guy who mailed the anthrax letters when you need him?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

GROWNUPS READ THINGS THEY WROTE AS CHILDREN

Last night on The Lab, it was the pilot for a new show called "Grownups Read Things They Wrote As Children."

The show came out of a series of public performances where adults read letters, poems and stories they wrote when they were kids.

I found the show very entertaining and funny.

In fact, I think these people should try to get some of those writings published. I know it's made me contemplate writing a book of short stories I came up with when I was a child. The way I figure it, society right now has about the mental and emotional maturity of somewhere between a 4-year old and a 14-year old, so that type of thing would sell really well.

Friday, August 21, 2009

APOLOGIES

Sorry for not posting more reviews of Cbc shows.

I haven't even been bothering to listen to Crossing Boundaries or Global Perspectives lately because so much of that stuff is repackaged material. It's all stuff that's either aired in past summers or has aired on The Sunday Edition or shows like that. I didn't even bother to listen to Mash Up this week because I frankly don't believe the spin Gita Natkarni's trying to put on it that cultures can all get along. Also, I have a life.

CITIZEN JOURNALIST

Last Friday on The Lab, it was the pilot for a show called Citizen Journalists, a show featuring well, citizen journalism.

A black woman whose son had been shot near the Concordia University pub wanted to find out the underlying reasons the murder occurred, and why police and other people were calling her son a gangster when-though he had been involved in some criminal activity, he was never in a gang.

The woman interviewed her sons, the principal at the adult education centre where her son had been getting his equivalency and her pastor. The pastor said the church had to become more relevant, which usually means not talking about Jesus or sin and making the church into a place where people just have fun.

In the end, I had to draw the conclusion that this woman's son was trying to turn his life around, get an equivalency, get a job and look after his daughter. He was probably shot down by one of his former criminal associates because in the black community, being a thug is cool whereas getting an education, getting a job and taking responsibility for your children is considered being a sell-out or a house nigger.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

RICHARD SYRETT BACK ON THE AIR

Talk show host Richard Syrett returned to Canadian airwaves Sunday night with The Conspiracy Show on AM 740, one of the few radio stations that is still listenable.

On his first Zoomer radio show, Richard talked about the latest developments with regards to the question of Barack Obama's citizenship, the possibility that Elvis is still alive on the supposed 32-year anniversary of his death, as well as the swine flu.

Due to only being on once a week, Richard is going to have to keep the show oriented to current topics in the news. If he does that, the show should succeed.

REPLY AWL

The July issue of Readers Digest has an article about the people at airports who keep birds from flying into planes. It is interesting.

The July 27 issue of Maclean's has an article about denial of pregnancy, when women don't know their pregnant. It seems to me it should actually be called something like "unawareness of pregnancy" or something. A doctor is quoted near the end of the article saying how denial of pregnancy is a bad thing because women won't have gotten the proper amounts of nutrients during pregnancy, in addition to the fact that some women might have smoked and drank. The question this article didn't answer was, how many of these babies turned out OK?

An article in the April 4, 2009 London Times by Sandi Tisvog talks about keeping kids amused during car trips, through things like talking to them. Imagine that! These days, most parents just throw on the Dvd player for the whole trip. However, this means that kids aren't interacting with the parents or looking out the window. Do we really want to become a society that just surfs the internet or listens to Ipods or watches Dvd's instead of actually talking to and doing things with other people? When I was a kid, car trips were a time when we talked with the parents about all different things. The rest of the trip, we read or coloured pictures. I may have listened to a tape a couple of times, but by no means for the whole trip. These kids aren't looking out the window and appreciating their surroundings. This could have the side effect of making it difficult for these kids to learn to drive because they aren't as familiar with the lay of the land.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

WOODSTOCK'S 40TH ANNIVERSARY

This weekend marks the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, the music festival that celebrated peace, love and understanding.

By peace, they really meant taking away everyone's guns so people would be left defenseless.

By love, they meant "free love", sex with no consequences.

By understanding, they meant believing in their views and tolerating no one else's.

So many of those hippies that were for peace, love and understanding became the yuppies of the 1980's. They are the people who'll take out a lawsuit against you if your grass is too tall or you're playing your music too loud one night. They'll complain because they don't like the look of something in your yard or on your front porch.

These people who once decried materialism are now the same retirees who waste their money on dolls that feel real and swimming pools they never use. Since our manufacturing sector is gone, all these towns are putting in wineries, resorts and "walking trails" to attract these people as tourists.

These people who, in the 60's tried to warn people about the chemicals in our food became the same people who live on fast food all the time because it's more convenient.

They'll sit on their screened-in front porches drinking two bottles of wine a night. They'll retire, spend their days not doing much of anything and a few years after their retirement, get cancer or diabetes or heart problems and die in their early 60's.

Did Woodstock really change anything? Our country is being run by people of that Woodstock generation. The hippies protested the problems of their day, but we've got billions more problems nowadays. They protested Vietnam, but America is involved in an illegal war, which Obama SAYS will end in 2011. Similarly, Canada is involved in a war in Afghanistan under the false pretense that Osama Ben Laden was responsible for 9/11.

Incidentily, my yuppy idiot neighbour (upon whom a lot of this post is based) thinks they should blow Afghanistan (and Pakistan) off the map because "I don't want to live under the Taliban because under them women have no value." I'd tell her what an idiotic statement that is, but you can't tell her anything; she's a child of the 60's.

Monday, August 10, 2009

GET SOME CENTS, CBC

It’s quite apparent that Cbc doesn’t care about having programming for teenagers after school anymore.

It makes me long for the good old days, or at least the old days.

Street Cents: This show ran from 1989-2005. For most of its life it was a consumer advocacy show, featuring products that teens would be interested in. Notable features included The Pit, a giant well, pit that the hosts would throw one really horrible consumer product into each week, after which the product would always explode. Another good, informative feature was when they would test different brands of products. For the first few years the show would feature Ken from the fictional Byco corporation, the epitome of greedy, cut-throat capitalism. The show would often have a wrap-around plot, such as one of the hosts swearing at the voice mail of a girl he liked after it had already beeped.

The show would also feature funny parodies of things, such as Dawson’s Creek:

I can hardly wait
For this show to be over,
Why can’t I be in Dawson’s Creek, BC?

In the last season, Street Cents became more of a show about issues related to teenage life, such as friends with benefits.

The best-known host of Street Cents is probably Jonathan Torrens, who was on SpikeTV’s “Joe Schmo Show” and currently is a swing announcer for Cbc radio, which leads us into:

Jonovision: This show was the reason Jonathan Torrens left Street Cents. This was part of Cbc’s 1995 “television to call our own” spate of programs. Jonovision was a half an hour-unusual for a talk show.

One thing that set it apart was that unlike Jerry Springer and a lot of other talk shows, Torrens was actually interested in solving people’s problems. I remember one early episode which was about righting wrongs friends had done. Jono selected a volunteer from the audience named Paul and dubbed him Paul The Punisher. First, they brought out a girl whose friend constantly teased her about being a virgin. When they went shopping and the girl looked at lingerie, her friend would say, “You’re not allowed to see that” and would embarrass her. The friend was brought out, interviewed for a few minutes, then made to eat a plate of spam served by Paul reading “Kristy (or whatever her name was) is a virgin.”

Next, they brought out a girl whose friend had stolen fifty dollars from her. Jonathan gave her fifty dollars (via Paul) and sang a little song which I just remembered as I was writing this:

If I had a hundred dollars,
I’d give you fifty.
Twenty-five of it’s from Canadian Tire,
Because we’re being thrifty.

One other notable thing Jonovision is noted for was the reunion of the cast of Degrassi Junior High (and Degrassi High) cast in December 1999. This apparently helped spark off the popularity of Degrassi: The Next Generation, which leads us into

Degrassi reruns: I’ve written about this before and will probably write about it again. They got darn high ratings.

Edgemont and possibly Our Hero reruns: These shows don’t really count as after school shows since they originally ran at 7:30. However, I know that Edgemont and I’m pretty sure Our Hero were reran weekdays at 5:30 the following season.

Then there are the other after school shows for teenagers that I never saw, such as Video Hits, virtually the only place where you could see music videos before Much Music, and Going Great, which profiled Canadian teenagers that were doing big things.

Now, as I said, Cbc doesn’t seem to care about having shows for teens after school. The 2007/2008 lineup consisted of an infomercial for HP printers and reruns of Frasier, The Simpsons and Arrested Development. The 2008/2009 lineup consists of reruns of The Rick Mercer Report, Red Green and The Simpsons, as well as Wheel Of Fortune.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A JOKE

A plane is flying over the Atlantic Ocean when it starts to experience problems. The pilot comes on and says, "Don't worry. We're going to be OK. We just have to drop some fuel, throw some supplies overboard and let some people off. We'll be letting people off in alphabetical order. All the African-Americans, go to this exit. All the blacks, go to this exit. All the coons, go to this exit." A little black boy turns to his father and asks, "Aren't we African-American, Daddy?" The father turns to the boy and says, "No, son, today we're niggers and we ain't gettin off before the Mexicans."

HANSON

Remember Hanson? They had that "Middle Of Nowhere" album. Also a horrible buckin album. Especially the bonus track on the CD version (yes, there was a cassette version as well) "Man From Milwaukie."

From the size of his head,
And the size of his toes,
He comes from a place,
That nobody knows.

Yeah, all there songs like "Where's The Love", probably about world peace or some bull like that, "I Will Come To You" about a dead husband or some garbage, what the buck did they know about all that stuff.

And “Oom-bop.” What the heck was that?

Hanson came to fame in1997, with there album “The Middle Of Nowhere.” They grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which is pretty close to the bucking middle of nowhere.

Then there was their famous appearance on Abc’s TGIF. There were fourteen-year old girls trying to break down the doors of Abc headquarters with popsicle sticks. Why didn’t you succeed, girls. Why didn’t you just wreck the place. Then we never would have had to suffer through “Desperate Housewives.”

During their TGIF appearance, they made a very controversial statement. Depending on which source you consult, either Isaac or Taylor went on record as stating, “We’re bigger than a field mouse.”

Hanson had consulted about all their decisions with a guy known as Jamba Man.

In December 1997 came the Christmas album “Snowed In.” It was inspired, so the magic talking grocery bag tells me, by a phenomenon in Oklahoma known as the cocaine storm. You will recall that el nenio was particularly strong that year, and this caused cocaine to rain down upon the state of Oklahoma.

“Then why is the cocaine storm localized entirely in your house, you little buck,” a Tulsa City policeman questioned Taylor Hanson.

They planned to release another album in 1998, but their kike-generated fad was over before that could happen. They released a few more albums which languish in obscurity but can’t be as bad as “The Middle Of Nowhere.”

Seeking help to regain their overwhelming popularity, Hanson consulted with aliens. They did this on four separate occasions, despite the fact that the alien’s advice never paid off.

“Well,” Taylor said, “just because we took their advice last time and it totally didn’t work, it doesn’t mean the same thing will happen this time.”

Oh buck, I just watched a video of “Man From Milwaukee.” It took me “Johnny Cash Cocaine Blues” “Leonard Cohen Closing Time” “Tragically Hip Gus The Polar Bear From Central Park” “A Touch Of Frost” and “Inspector Morse” to recover from that one.