Sunday, November 19, 2017

PANDORUM

This was a popcorn movie, but a good popcorn movie which gives the viewer something to think about at the end.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

JOYCE MEYER-DEVELOPING A SPIRIT OF GENEROSITY

Again, there was very little (really, nothing) in the main part of this message with which I would disagree. However, Meyer starts off by using as a jumping off point the story of the labourers in the vineyard found in the first part of Matthew 20. While the landlord in this story was generous and Jesus certainly is generous and we are to be imitators of Him, that isn't the point Jesus was trying to make by telling this story. The point of this story is that, whether you have served Jesus from the time you reached your age of accountability, from your twenties onward, from middle age onward, or whether you are an elderly person who has just come to Christ and may only serve Him here on Earth for a few years, we all receive the same thing promised all of us at the end: eternal life with God in His kingdom. The labourers couldn't do anything more to earn more money from the householder; they all agreed to work for a penny. We can't do anything more to earn what He promised us, either.

For a sermon that brings this out really well, click here.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

JOYCE MEYER-THE TESTING OF FAITHFULNESS

There was actually very little in this message I would disagree with except for two things.

First, Jesus was not getting ahead of Himself when he was conversing in the temple at twelve years old. Luke 2 47 says all who heard Jesus "were astonished at His understanding and answers" so the Father must have been with Jesus in doing what He was doing. When Joseph and Mary wondered how Jesus could run off on them like that, Jesus answered in verse 49 that he had to be about His Father's business, and basically asking them how they could have forgotten that. The next verse says Jesus' parents didn't understand what he meant by this. (Also, if Jesus had gotten ahead of Himself, that would have been a sin, and Jesus never sinned.)

Also, while I agree in general with this message, the other problem I have with this message is the same problem I have with a lot of the less dogmatic prosperity gospel teachings. Joyce Meyer is quite right that it is not wrong to have ambition in life, and as a matter of fact, if one had no ambition at all, that would actually be a very unhealthy thing. Keep in mind, though, that as Christians, our most fervent ambition should be to be more like Christ. It's all right to desire other things, as long as they don't become more important than being conformed to Christ. If they do, or God knows that the fulfillment of these lesser desires would supplant our desire to be Christ-like, He will see to it that these lesser goals are never achieved.

I don't disagree that the testing of our faithfulness can be, and many times is, God preparing us for the responsibility that would come with achieving our ambitions, but the most important reason our loyalty to God is tested is so that we can grow into greater conformity to and deeper relationship with Him.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

THOUGHTS AND LEARNINGS

The US constitution has been rendered null and void by the omission of the true thirteenth amendment and the redefining of "person" in the fourteenth amendment as it appears in the constitution.

Modern pharmaclogical psychiatry is like Marxism because it basically asserts the patient i.e. person is unable to manage their life to any real degree and thus needs someone else i.e. a psychiatrist to do it for them.

Meditation is the same as drinking a bottle of booze every night in that it is actually a way of avoiding one's problems but is presented as a way of dealing with problems.

Today, fluoride is made not from the waste product of smelting aluminum but from the waste of manufacturing chemical fertilizers.

Monday, November 6, 2017

PARODY TIME-EVERY YOUNG MAN'S BATTLE

(Open on an empty field.)
Anncr: Hi. This is a civil war battlefield somewhere. It was here that many young men were used as cannon fodder by wealthy men in high places and that’s exactly what’s happening today when it comes to the battle many young men face with pornography.
(Shift to a hallway outside a door. Brad knocks on the door. Professor Harper answers.)
Brad: Hello, Professor Harper. I was wondering if we could have a casual, non-contrived conversation about pornography.
Professor Harper: Sure, Brad. You know I’m always up for a discussion, especially if it involves the personal lives of you students.
Brad: Great. (He enters the office and sits in a chair) So, Professor, is porn bad?
Professor Harper: Yes, Brad, pornography is indeed very bad.
Brad: Is there a big problem when it comes to young men and pornography?
Professor Harper: Oh, there certainly is. So many dudes struggle with addiction to pornography, it’s something that wrecks dudes lives so many times.
Brad: (Standing up) Thank you for this, Professor.
Professor Harper: No problem, Brad. You dudes know if you dudes ever need to talk about anything I’m here for you dudes.
(Brad exits)
(Shift to the college library. Brad and Kevin are using the computers.)
Kevin: Hey Brad, what are you doing here?
Brad: I have to get some more sources for my history assignment on antique ice cream scoops. The better question is what are _you doing here since I never even see you in class?
Kevin: I decided to take advantage of our college’s technological services to do a little research of my own. Check out this website. The bitches on here are some of the hottest pieces of ass you’ll ever see. (Making a rude gesture for Kevin to come over) Come and look, man.
(Brad goes over to Kevin’s computer)
Brad: (Reading) This page cannot be displayed as it violates the International Library Code of Conduct as regards obscene materials. Looks real sexy all right.
(Shift to a recording studio)
Joe: Hi, I’m Joe Blow, the lead singer of Genaric Christian Rock Band 13174. I was reading the companion book to this documentary, which can be purchased at the same Christian bookstore where you bought this dvd for only 29.95, while we were making our last record, “LovewaterfallamazingoceanJesusscarletcordslingshotvolcanoJesus”, also available at that same Christian bookstore. The book really resonated with me because I love to watch porn, and I attribute that, in part at least, to not actually being a Christian. See, I grew up in a Christian home and the only way my Dad would buy me a guitar for my thirteenth birthday was if I started a Christian rock band, so I formed the band with some other non-Christian friends from religious homes and fifteen years later here we are.
(Shift to a church office.)
Stephen Arterburn: The thing about porn is there’s two problems. First, you have the secular culture where you got porn and beer commercials and girls in bikinis, and by the way, why is it most the girls that dress like hoes shouldn’t be dressing that way because they have so little to show, or way too much in a lot of cases, if ya know what I mean? Anyways, I guess dudes are a bit responsible for lusting in response to all that stuff, but they really can’t be held responsible because men are just stupid and like dogs. It’s not like they can change their thought patterns or anything. Then, on the other hand, you got the churches where the pastors aren’t talking about this. I can’t tell you how many letters I receive from both young men and women who say, “Hey Steve, you know what would be really good? Is if my pastor, whom I’ve known since I was born, at the church I’ve gone to my whole life with my parents and all the rest of my family and which also has a large population of old people, if that pastor would talk on Sunday morning about masturbating to pornography in front of all those people.” You know, jerkin’ it to porn is one way to screw up your marriage and your sexuality, but in my opinion an even better way to do that is to not do anything, not even kiss on the cheek, before you get married. That way you’ll have no idea what to do, you and your spouse will be totally sexually frustrated and you’ll get a divorce. Since most women want security, they’ll re-marry soon after and that way I’ll get to charge the father of the bride twice for two weddings for the same girl, and who knows how many more in the future.
(Shift to a teenage girl’s room)
Kelly: I looked through my closet at what I was wearing and I realized that what they’d been saying at church, as well as what they’d been saying at the secret feminist meetings I was attending when my parents thought I was at youth group, was true. Men are just stupid pigs and are like dogs. They have no intelligence and can’t think for themselves. They see a girl in a mini-skirt and they immediately want to jump her bones. I realized I was helping to cause that, even in my brothers because they’ve molested me several times.
(Shift back to Professor Harper’s office. Professor Harper is at his desk. Brad is sitting in a chair.)
Brad: So, Professor Harper, I’ve really been studying into this thing about lust and what the Bible has to say about it. I’ve really been searching the Scriptures a lot.
Professor Harper: Well, that’s always good to hear, Brad. After all, you know what Ephesians 5 3 says.
Brad: Yeah, I did a word study on some of the terms Paul uses in that verse. Fornication comes from one of the Greek words we get the word pornography from and it refers to lewd sexual acts. I hardly think kissing your girlfriend is a lewd sexual act.
Professor Harper: Well, Brad, you still have to consider Jesus’ own words in Matthew 5 28.
Brad: Yeah, I looked at and thought and prayed about that one a lot, too. He said that whoever looks at a woman and lusts has already committed adultery whith her in his heart. That’s some pretty powerful stuff right there.
Professor Harper: It sure is.
Brad: The word adultery comes from the same Greek word that’s also translated as fornication and refers to extramarital activities, and lust is wanting something you shouldn’t want or shouldn’t have, so it seems to me what God was really saying was that a married man shouldn’t fantasize about sleeping with another woman, and you could say a man also shouldn’t fantasize about sleeping with a married woman. That seems different than finding that woman jogging by attractive.
Professor Harper: Now come on, Brad. Every guy has a problem with lust and pornography. It starts the day a boy is born.
Brad: Oh, it’s a serious problem, all right, for a lot of guys. But there are still a fair number of men who don’t look at that stuff.
Professor Harper: Every Christian man I’ve known has struggled with these problems.
Brad: Well, maybe part of that problem is so many Christians not seeing people as people, not seeing people the way Christ sees them. We tend to look at people as those who are in our camp or aren’t, and even if they’re in our camp, we have to make sure they fall in line. So, it’s no wonder so many young Christian men view women as sex objects. Maybe if they saw them as people the problem wouldn’t be so rampant.
Professor Harper: I’m calling your parents. Pack your things. You’re expelled from this Christian college.
(Shift back to the recording studio)
Joe: One thing I’ve found that helps me with my porn addiction is devotions. Every morning I read three chapters of my Bible, pray for 15 minutes and read an entry in a devotional my denomination approves of. Now, the entry in the devotional is pretty pithy, I spend most of my prayer time trying to concentrate rather than actually praying, and I can’t understand my Bible, I guess cause I’m a guy and I’m thus really stupid, but at least during that time I’m not watching “Porn in the Morn” on channel 74.
(Shift back to Kelly’s room)
Kelly: What I would say to a teenage boy is look past a woman’s beauty today because she’s not going to look like that forever. You know, because of the pressure society puts on women to look good, and more importantly because of the pressure the church puts on a woman to be the perfect wife, mother and servant of the Lord, when that woman gets old before her time and becomes a nagging shrew and bitch, you’re gonna need some hobbies, my friend, so start developing them now.
Anncr: There are several solutions dudes can employ to deal with their addiction to pornography. First, I recommend praying basically formulaic prayers using words you don’t know the meanings of and which you would never use in real life. Second, spend time in God’s Word, by which I mean being spoonfed little bits of the Bible in church or a Bible study group. Third, but certainly not least, I’d recommend either joining an accountability group or obtaining an accountability partner. That way, you can share highly personal details about your sex life with guys you barely know from church in the public setting of the local coffee shop, be constantly nagged about your sexual purity even though you don’t really want to change, and, best of all, find out about pornographic materials you never even knew existed.
(Shift to a classroom. Pastor Football Coach is standing at the blackboard with a piece of chalk in his hand.)
Football Coach: Now, to help you dudes understand addiction to pornography, I am going to draw some football plays. Now, if you don’t like football, then get out of my classroom, girly man. Now, for the rest of you, (drawing), this play right here is known as the stupid dude play. This play occurs on the football field when a dude is stupid and looks up pornography. Now, this next play is called the poorly drawn stick figure play, and that (His phone rings with “A Mighty Fortress.”) Pardon me, just let me quickly take this. (He pulls the phone out of his pocket) Hello. … I can’t talk right now, Marvey, I’m right in the middle of a class. … Well, why don’t we just heat up the leftover kalamari and manicotti from when Lance and Julian were over last night. … I don’t wanna listen to Streisand again, put on the Judy Garland one … The playlist I made for you on your last birthday, don’t you remember? … Look, I gotta get back to teaching here. … Yeah, yeah, love you, too. (Turning back to classroom) Now, if any of you out there can’t understand these football analogies I’ve presented, there’ll be a couple of army colonels along shortly who can hopefully explain it better for you, and if you’re a pacifist, well then go back to Hippyland, nancyboy.
(Shift back to Steve Arterburn’s office)
Steve Arterburn: I just really wanna tell you my favourite story if I could. There was a couple attending my marriage classes one night when I was talking about purity. After class, the man confessed to his fiance he was having a problem with pornography, mainly “The Price Is Right” models and Maxine Waters pictures, and she just tore a strip off him. She said, “Well, I may be in as much carnal, animalistic lust with Brad Pitt as what you’re doing, but nevertheless, I’m not going to stand for this. If you don’t stop doing this right this very microsecond, the wedding is off. What’s more, I will tell everyone we know, including your employer, about this, and I will also spread the false rumour to all those people that you like to wear women’s clothing.” So that really motivated him to get control of this, and now they’re married and she says he’s just the greatest hamster you could ever hope to have as a husband. I got a call from him the other day and I thought, “Oh no, he’s fallen. I’m going to have to examine whether this wonderful system my brilliant mind came up with is faulty, and I’m going to have to examine myself and where I went wrong in life, but luckily I didn’t have to do that. Instead, the call was this man saying he wanted me to dictate to him how to raise his children, as well as how to carry out every other major and minor decision in his life and I felt really good about that.
Anncr: God’s standard is different than the world’s standard. God’s standard is perfection, which none of us can a chieve apart from taking on the righteousness obtained for us at the cross. However, who wants that. We can become acceptable, if not to God, than to ourselves and our fellow church-goers simply by employing some strategies veiled in Biblical terminology and dreamed up by men who are in leading positions in today’s American Christian culture who don’t have to live in the real world. Sure, a truly Godly way to fight this thing would be to ask God to renew your mind so that you could see women as people and not sex objects, the way Christ Himself sees all of us. However, we’re confident you’ll be perfectly content to settle for less, still seeing women as sex objects, but acting really self-righteous and holier-than-thou when people point this out to you. So remember, don’t rely on the Lord, get out there and win the battle, all by yourself.


Based on the dvd “Every Young Man’s Battle”, companion to the book of the same name by Stephen Arterburn.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

SHANNON ETHRIDGE FOR BRAZENIA

Introducing Brazenia, the drug that removes all shame and humility from the human heart. I first heard about Brazenia from a family friend when I was back home. We were out at the bonfire and he lit up a cigarette. I started to frown, but he quickly reassured me he wasn't smoking tobacco. He said he was smoking Brazenia in order to have more of an inflated view of himself, and that sounded good to me so I started smoking Brazenia, too. Brazenia enables me to do things like make jokes about AIDS to break the ice at my presentations, impose a whole bunch of rules on young women, use sophistry to say things such as since masturbation can lead to marital problems no one should ever do it under any circumstances, and imply that, if a woman gets raped after following all my rules, its her own fault. Brazenia can also have beneficial secondhand effects for your loved ones as well. I'm so proud of my son saying, "That's a woman the Bible warns about" after seeing a woman dressed like I used to while accompanying me to the bank. Oh, that reminds me about Brazenia's best feature: it removes all sense of hypocrisy. I can tell young women the way to help save themselves for marriage is to think of all the years of great sex they'll have with their husbands, even though I'd already had sex before I got married and never had to live with denying myself this pleasure till the appropriate time. So head to your pharmacy and pick up some Brazenia today. It  comes highly recommended, by myself, Shannon Ethridge, as well as virtually everyone else in the purity movement.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

RADIO-RELATED STUFF

Picked up CHFI Toronto Wednesday night with commercial and ID.

Picked up 98.9 The Drive Kingston Thursday morning with "The Nineties At Nine."

Picked up CKBY Ottawa Thursday morning with country music.

Was getting another station with black people talking under 1000 WMVP Chicago Thursday night.

Picked up WBSM last night..