Saturday, November 19, 2016


Of first importance, those who promote purity culture never actually tell you what they mean by sex. Do they mean all sex, or just vaginal intercourse?

Indeed, many of them advise not even kissing before marriage, providing the false incentive that, if the young disciples wait and do as little as possible before tying the knot, the wedding night will be that much more spectacular.

Also, it is subtly frowned upon to do any further research into matters sexual other than what one was taught in school because this is seen as dirty and improper.

I ask you, person who has drunkenly clicked on this post while searching for something else, at what other thing in life is one expected to be absolutely great at the first time with little to no experience and only a rudimentary knowledge?

Further, the wedding night is often extolled as "the best sex you'll ever have." In truth, it will be the worst sex you've ever had because, if you save intercourse for marriage (as you should), it will, it goes without saying, be your first time. Fortunately, you and your significant other will have the rest of your lives to get good at it, and if you don't manage to get better by that time, you'll be dead and won't care anyway.

Incidentally, would someone please send me a bootleg audiobook copy of "Every Young Man" and "Every Young Woman's Battle." I so want to write a parody of the whole purity culture in general.

A thousand thanks in advance.

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