This collection of humourous pieces about foibles of life in
the previous century seems slapped together. Though much in this collection is
both quite funny and still applicable, many of the pieces seem dated, as if the
book were compiled from old newspaper columns or something of the kind.
Seeing as how we’re about to wrap up the second decade of
the 21st century, I thought I’d take a look at some things that have
changed since this book was published. You can consider this a kind of letter
to the late Mr. Berton, if you like.
A Cold War spy story
For the last several years, the West has been trying to
ignite a second Cold War, if not a hot one, with Russia.
Annals of scientific
advance
Apparently, there are still perfume ads in magazines, even
though there is lots of talk nowadays about people being sensitive to certain
smells, with there even being signs saying THIS IS A SCENT-FREE ZONE.
Here is an interview with Susan Bennett, the voice of Siri.
Nowadays, we have the Dyson hand dryers, which dry your
hands much more completely and efficiently. However, I don’t know how much they’ve
caught on.
Sam Sylvester’s Great
Deterrent
With Donald Trump having just inaugurated the space force,
the deterrents will be in space as well as on Earth.
A twentieth-century
confession (a found document)
Hardly anyone does Christmas cards anymore. In fact, I think
people had stopped doing Christmas cards by 1996 when this book was published.
The Type-A
personality: A case study
Everyone is being pushed to be a Type-A personality to the
max.
Diamonds aren’t
forever
Check out this video telling you why engagement rings are a
scam.
The Elbow
Worshippers: A salutary report
With the increased encroachment of Islamic fundamentalism in
Western culture, as well as a backlash of rising Christian fundamentalism,
there’s still a huge amount of conflict over the display of the human body.
However, thanks to the internet, there’s also more nudity than ever before,
too.
The waiting room
This piece is a perfect example of why, as Jesus told us,
there will be no marrying or giving in marriage in Heaven. Besides, that
diamond engagement ring will be worth even less there anyway.
The day the Martian
landed
There are now literally dozens of programs on radio,
television and the internet, as well as websites, forums, social media
platforms, as well as conferences and conventions in real life, concerned with
the topic of life other places in the universe.
Twentieth-century
artifacts
In our time, the social justice warriors put their
free-wheeling spin on recent history, not-so-recent history and everything else
they please.
Mammoth Airlines
Annual Report
Since 9/11, air travel is even worse, thanks to increases in
airport security. The airlines constant need to increase profit margins no
matter what as well as the rising price of fossil fuels doesn’t help, either.
When cigarettes were
banned
More ridiculous laws have been enacted to try to prevent
youths from smoking, and now the same people are going after vaping, as well.
No word yet on if the government is going to do anything to figure out why
people develop the mental part of the addiction.
Funnily enough, we now also have an opioid crisis.
New fads in the
funeral industry
From what I’ve heard and seen, about 20 percent of people
don’t even bother having funerals or memorial services anymore.
Where’ll we go on our
holidays?
Space tourism is being vigourously talked about, with a few
private companies having been founded for this purpose, but there have been no
concrete developments so far.
Remember when
Christmas was for real?
Christmas is more commercialized than ever. Even Christian
organizations have gotten in on the act, with some saying if you don’t make a
big deal out of Christmas, you don’t love Jesus. (See my post “You Mean We
Crucified The Pagans?”)
The day the
population exploded
Check out this video on why population growth isn’t
a problem.
Also, China abolished its one-child policy a few years ago
after it turned out to be a huge, disastrous mess.
What Algernon
Stringer did for commercials
Now people are exposed to more advertising than ever. In
fact, there are free long-distance calling services out there that are
supported by advertising, meaning you have to listen to a commercial before
being connected to your party.
The great detergent
premium race
Other than receiving a few dvds in some laundry detergent, I
don’t think there were putting premiums in laundry detergent even back in ’96.
The first TV
execution
They show people being put to death on television in China.
(Them again.)
Doesn’t James Bond
realize no means no?
In the trailer for the latest installment in the franchise,
007 is portrayed as quite decrepit.
The ultimate wine
tasting
Now it seems everywhere in the world makes wine, not just
France, California, Chile, Niagara, etc.
Ralph Jasper’s
publishing triumph
There are still magazines in waiting rooms, but I’d imagine
most people are probably too engaged with their smartphones to bother taking a
look at them.
A movie critic’s rise
and fall
I actually remember a story several years ago in Maclean’s
about publishing companies taking book critic’s remarks out of context for the “Praise
For” section of the introductory parts of books.
Station CHOO with the
Sound That’s New
Radio, including the CBC, continues to get worse.
Bafflingly, CBC is actually more popular than it’s ever
been.
Incidentally, CHOO was an actual radio station, a country
station in Ajax which is now the same format but on FM and going by a different
monichre. I thought you would have known that, Pierre.
How we converted our
split-level into a monster home
Though there are still plenty of monster homes, the tiny
house movement has also gained a lot of momentum.
The darling of the
talk shows
In adition to their being more talk of aliens than ever
before, there is also more talk of psychic phenomena.
Whatever became of
Whosit?
Nowadays, when not bashing Prsident Trump or going gaga over
the latest salvo in the social justice warrior agenda, mainstream news consists
mainly of asking the average person how they feel about an event, even if it’s
taking place thousands of miles away.
A catalogue of
realistic Christmas toys
Not being in the parent loop, I don’t know how sophisticated
toys have gotten, but they’re probably more realistic than ever before.
Divorce in our time:
A modest proposal
Apparently, there actually are divorce ceremonies. Google it
if you don’t believe me.
A catalogue of the
new labour-saving devices
Nowadays we have voice-dialing.
A lot of people are now into installing wood stoves, or
pellet stoves.
Now they have battery-operated carpet sweepers.
Apparently, washboards are making a
comeback, what with the off the grid movement.
A coffee-lovers’ call
to arms
Nowadays, there are more coffee preparation options than
ever. I don’t drink coffee anymore so I can’t really critique the quality of
the different brands.
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