CANADA IS NOT A COUNTRY

I find myself really agreeing with Scott Gilmore's Maclean's column of a few months ago that has the same title as this post.

First, I do actually identify more with the folks in upstate New York than I identify, say, with a Newfoundlander getting 20 inches of snow in May or people in Saskatchewan eating Thanksgiving dinner in the dark because there was a cold snap that knocked out the power. Similarly, I don't really identify with a guy in Alberta drinking hot chocolate on his tractor in the snow in late October or people strolling around Victoria in February watching the tulips bloom.

Second, Canada has no real values. It appears Canadians value things like universal healthcare, peacekeeping, recognition of the rights of various minorities, etc., but that's because we have a mostly Toronto-based mainstream media that constantly tells us these are the things of which Canadians should be proud.

Third, most other nations were founded because the tribe that had occupied the land eventually grew big enough to form a nation, though granted this is somewhat of an oversimplification.

The United States was formed because the colonists didn't want taxes foisted upon them without a fellow colonist representing them and saying it was all right with the colonists that Britain levy that tax. Add in liberty and justice for all, all men are created equal, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and it's pretty plain America as a nation is based on a set of values. Though Americans on different sides of the political spectrum disagree as to what these exact statements mean, still, they all hold their interpretation of those same values.

However, Canada couldn't even get the province where the talks were held to join Confederation till six years after it happened and, as said above, the values the media purports Canadians to have are quite different than the values the average Canadian actually possesses.

Fourth, all the things Canadians think define us as a distinct nation aren't true definitions of a nation. We mostly define ourselves by saying we aren't Americans or we aren't British, and by things like spelling words differently from Americans, having a few different words for things than Americans, and superficial things like our love of hockey and poutine. I repeat, these distinctions does not a nation make.

As for the CFL, I find I can't really get excited about a football league that plays when it's 40 Celsius outside and that is into the playoffs by the time decent football weather rolls around.

Add to this the fact we didn't have the power to ratify our own laws till the Statute of westminster in 1933 or the power to change our constitution till 1982 and the argument Canada is a nation sinks further into the ground.

Fifth, we even seem ashamed of ourselves most of the time. What do I mean by this? As I said in my third argument, as divided as the United States is, Americans are still linked with each other over some semblance of what the founding fathers said. This means that, when something like 9/11 happens, Americans (though blaming each other for why the event took place and arguing over the best response) still stand united on the grounds that America was attacked and America must stand against its enemy. When the Parliament Hill attacked took place a few years ago, we had maybe a day at the utter most of unanimity in the House before our Parliamentarians fell to acting like a bunch of kindergarten kids again, which is actually kind of insulting to all those who will be shortly entering, or who just graduated kindergarten

As further evidence, as divisive as the 2016 US presidential election was, Americans were either saying "Make America great again" or "What are you talking about, America is still great." There's an element in this country that's so ashamed of Canada's past and of Western values in general they'd never even contemplate thinking the words "Canada" and "great" in the same 24 hour period.

It really is time for Canadians to realize we aren't a real country. Let the Western provinces become their own country, or four separate countries. Let Ontario become a nation with northern Ontario as its own province, Toronto as its own province, and everywhere else as sub-provinces. Give Quebec what they've always wanted. Make Newfoundland a country again. Make the Maritimes a country or three and make the north a country, too.

This of course doesn't mean we couldn't have friendly relations with one another. We'd eventually figure out pretty cool ways to be up hear north of the 49 and hopefully be a happier, freer, more convivial group of people rocking the North American continent.