Monday, January 28, 2019

MS. GILLIE'S STORY OF HER STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

With National Mental Health Day coming up I would like to share with you a time of my life when all seemed impossibly dark. When I was a teenager I was bullied, and really didn't have friends. I figured the best solution to my lonliness and dispair was to take my own life. I went to the kitchen of my parents farmhouse, and found one of my dad's steak knives, I was just about to place it in to my chest, at the spot where my heart has a defect when my then 13-year-old sister stopped me. At first I was angry with her for suggesting that my parents needed to know this particular thing, but now I realize that sometimes God puts people in our situations to smooth them out.

Recently I had a dark spell where I did not feel much worth to anyone, I attended church Saturday as I often do, but was so down that I could not focus. I then heard of a leadership comference sponsored by my church, but due to the sad fog I did not see the point in going. The enemy sometimes puts these dark thoughts and questions in our minds to keep the darkness thick. Sunday morning when I woke up I was still feeling bad, but a friend helped me realize that I could be a leader, and that God's plan is the only plan.

If I could go talk to 15-year-old me I would tell her that God is in control, God loves you, and things will get better. I would also tell her to thank her little praying grandma, because she always kept a prayer in her he

1 comment:

Alex Horton said...

My opinion is that a lot of times, we as blind people struggle with these mental health issues, these extreme feelings of unhappiness and discouragement, because we are in extreme situations. So many people do not get what they need in life, whether that be job skills, social opportunities or even being taught the basics of proper behaviour.