PARODY TIME-megan

MEGAN

Scene 1

The classroom. Mr. Kumar is standing at the front of the class. Megan and Claire are passing notes back and forth.

Megan: Oh, brilliant, top ten signs you’ve hired the wrong kid to shovel your walk.

Claire: Your’s is great, too. Top ten things over heard at this year’s Country Music Awards.

Mr. Kumar: Of course it is possible to be pregnant and still have periods.

Claire: OK, now top ten songs with the word love in the title.

(Megan takes the note and writes: November, December, January, February, March.)

Mr. Kumar: Claire, Megan, what are you doing? Give me that note. (He makes his way to Megan’s desk and picks up the piece of paper. He then walks back to the front of the classroom and begins to read) Top ten songs with the word love in the title. (Glances down the list) November, December, January, February, March. Ah come on, you can’t forget “Whole Lotta Love”, man.

Scene2

The library.

Claire: There you are!

The last place I ever would have expected to find you would be in the library. What are you doing in here anyway?

Megan: Oh, just looking up stuff.

Claire: Why are you in the Pregnancy And Parenting section?

Megan: Oh, I meant to take out an encyclopedia.

(She goes over to a shelf of encyclopedias and picks one up. She and Claire exit the library. Vinnie, the library monitor and Megan and Claire’s classmate, blocks there way.)

Vinny: Hey dere. Yous know your not sposda take encyclopedias out of de library. What de heck is wrong wit you.

She takes a toy hammer out of her backpack and smacks their kneecaps.) OK, yous can go now.

(Megan and Claire walk out of the library with the encyclopedia.)

Scene 3

The apartment. Megan and her mom are standing in the kitchen.

Mrs. Warrell: Well, honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, I really don’t. I only have to say the slightest thing for you to go off the handle.

Megan: Well, that’s because I’m pregnant.

Mrs. Warrell: For goodness sake, I thought I raised you better than that.

Megan: Actually, you didn’t. You and Dad fought for the mahjority of my childhood. Then after he left, you were so ticked off at the world you hardly even talked to Ellie or me. When it came to talking about sex, you just gave me a book.

Mrs. Warrell: Oh lots of parents give their children books and they know not to get pregnant.

Megan: True, but you gave me a book on the history of blacktop pavement.

Scene 4

The principal’s office. Principal Springer and vice principal Polvich are seated at their desks. Megan and her mother are sitting in chairs in front of the desks.

Principal Springer: So, Mrs. Warrell, tell me how you felt when Megan first told you she was pregnant.

Mrs. Warrell: Well, I felt disillusioned as well as a certain amount of responsibility on my part because (Her words are drowned out by the beeper)

Megan: Well, Mom, I take responsibility, too, but I know if we pull together we can (her next words are also drowned out by the beeper)

(Megan and her mother begin hitting each other with their chairs.)

Screen Crawl: Megan’s coma lasted for the remainder of her pregnancy. Thus, her baby was delivered by caesarean.

Closing credits.

Based on “(megan)” by Mary Hooper.