WOMAN REFUSES TO GIVE PARENTS ACCESS TO HER BANK ACCOUNT AFTER THEY SAY FAMILY SHOULDN'T HAVE SECRETS

PEOPLE

 

Woman Refuses to Give Parents Access to Her Bank Account After They Say Family Shouldn’t Have Secrets

By Ashley Vega  Published on December 18, 2025 05:20PM EST

 

A woman sought support from the Reddit community following a tense disagreement with her parents over financial boundaries.

 

The adult woman explained that despite being fully independent, her parents insisted on having access to her personal bank account.

 

In her post, she made it clear that she was financially self-sufficient. “I am an adult with my own job and my own income,” she wrote, adding that she paid her bills and had “never asked my parents for financial help since becoming independent.”

 

The conflict began when her parents requested direct access to her bank account. They reportedly said it would be “good for transparency” and argued that “family should not keep secrets,” framing the request as a precaution for emergencies.

 

The woman declined and explained her reasoning calmly. “I told them I was not comfortable sharing direct access to my finances,” she wrote, noting that privacy over her account was important to her.

 

She also said she tried to offer compromises instead of outright shutting them down. “I offered alternatives like letting them know where important documents are kept or naming an emergency contact,” she explained.

 

Despite her efforts, her parents continued to push back. According to the woman, they insisted that refusing access meant she was “hiding something” and that trust within a family required “full visibility, including finances.”

 

Their persistence became increasingly uncomfortable for her. She shared that they made repeated comments suggesting families should not have boundaries when it comes to money.

 

The woman stressed that her decision was not about distancing herself emotionally. “I am not trying to cut them out of my life or shut them down,” she wrote. “I just want control over my own bank account and personal financial information."

 

She also reflected on what independence meant to her as an adult. “I feel like being independent also means being allowed to keep certain things private while still having a relationship with your parents,” she added.

 

Feeling conflicted, she turned to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong. “I feel like boundaries are normal,” she wrote while asking if she was the problem.

 

Commenters were quick to reassure her that she was not. One person suggested turning the situation around, advising her to ask her parents for access to their accounts.

 

The original poster later revealed she had already tried that approach. “I’ve actually asked them that and they weren’t comfortable with it,” she responded.

 

"Ask them bluntly 'if I refuse to give you my financial details, what does that mean for our relationship?' " one suggested. "If they say it means ending family ties, then you've just seen they ONLY want you for your money."