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Man Cancels Third Date After Learning Woman Has a Life-Threatening Peanut Allergy, Says He Won't Change His Diet
By Ashley Vega Published on December 23, 2025 02:00PM EST
A man sought advice from the Reddit community following an awkward dating decision that left him questioning whether he had handled an early breakup the wrong way. After being set up by a friend, he went on two dates with a woman he initially thought could be a good match.
In his post, he explained that his friend had introduced him to a coworker and assured him that “we were perfect for each other.” Their first meeting took place at a coffee shop, and a second date soon followed at a botanical garden.
“While we were at the botanical garden she told me about her peanut allergy, which she described as life-threatening,” he wrote, adding that he acknowledged how stressful that must be.
Despite the serious revelation, the pair still made plans to continue seeing each other. “We arranged for a lunch date this week at the end of the date,” he explained, suggesting things initially seemed to be moving forward.
Afterward, however, he said reality began to sink in as he reflected on his own lifestyle. “I love peanuts and eat them all the time,” he admitted, detailing how peanut butter was present throughout his home and even on his dog’s toys.
The poster realized that accommodating her allergy would require major changes he was not prepared to make. “I can’t see a potential relationship with this woman ever progressing to a serious stage without me changing my diet and habits,” he said.
Because they had only gone out twice, he felt ending things early was the kinder choice. “I think it would be more respectful of her time to not go on a third,” he explained before sharing that he called to cancel the upcoming date.
When she asked to reschedule, he decided to be fully honest. “I apologized but said I didn’t think we would work out long term,” he wrote, explaining that he didn’t want to risk harming her.
The conversation quickly became tense once he revealed his reasoning. “She said there were a lot of safety precautions we could take to keep her safe, and I admitted I know that but don’t want to do them,” he shared.
Her reaction stung more than he expected. “She said ‘wow’ and told me I’m immature,” he recalled, noting that she hung up shortly after.
The fallout extended beyond the call, as the woman relayed the story to their mutual connection. His friend later told him the coworker thought he was a “massive jerk,” while adding that his logic was “definitely weird.”
Commenters were divided, though many validated his choice. One wrote, “You like peanuts more than you like her. That’s fine,” while emphasizing that stepping away early could prevent greater harm later.
"Two dates isn't a commitment, certainly not a point where you plan to make major changes to your life to accommodate her serious allergy," another pointed out. "Honestly I think you were being extremely considerate."
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