SHANNON ETHRIDGE FOR BRAZENIA

Introducing Brazenia, the drug that removes all shame and humility from the human heart. I first heard about Brazenia from a family friend when I was back home. We were out at the bonfire and he lit up a cigarette. I started to frown, but he quickly reassured me he wasn't smoking tobacco. He said he was smoking Brazenia in order to have more of an inflated view of himself, and that sounded good to me so I started smoking Brazenia, too. Brazenia enables me to do things like make jokes about AIDS to break the ice at my presentations, impose a whole bunch of rules on young women, use sophistry to say things such as since masturbation can lead to marital problems no one should ever do it under any circumstances, and imply that, if a woman gets raped after following all my rules, its her own fault. Brazenia can also have beneficial secondhand effects for your loved ones as well. I'm so proud of my son saying, "That's a woman the Bible warns about" after seeing a woman dressed like I used to while accompanying me to the bank. Oh, that reminds me about Brazenia's best feature: it removes all sense of hypocrisy. I can tell young women the way to help save themselves for marriage is to think of all the years of great sex they'll have with their husbands, even though I'd already had sex before I got married and never had to live with denying myself this pleasure till the appropriate time. So head to your pharmacy and pick up some Brazenia today. It  comes highly recommended, by myself, Shannon Ethridge, as well as virtually everyone else in the purity movement.