HUSBAND SAYS HE LEFT FAMILY BEHIND ON EUROPEAN VACATION BECAUSE MOTHER-IN-LAW USED HIS TOOTHPASTE

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Husband Says He Left Family Behind on European Vacation Because His Mother-in-Law Used His Toothpaste

By Charlotte Phillipp  Published on August 10, 2024 09:05AM EDT

 

A man who stormed out on his family's vacation after accusing his mother-in-law of invading his family's privacy is facing major backlash.

 

In a post on Reddit's popular "AITA" [Am I The A------?]  subreddit shared on Thursday, Aug. 8, a 38-year-old man wrote that he and his wife, 35, had been planning on taking a vacation to Venice, Italy with their five-year-old daughter. "Venice has always been my wife's idea of a romantic city, so it's been her dream to go there," he wrote.

 

However, his wife's mother soon found out about the trip and said "it was her dream to visit too," so she was invited to join as well. "My wife was very supportive of this idea, but I was more reluctant," he said.

 

To the user's "dismay," his wife booked just one room for the group of four with two queen beds, setting off a series of conflicts.

 

"Couldn’t you have booked a separate room for your MIL instead of abandoning your wife and child?" one reply read. getty

 

The redditer argued that because of the room setup, his mother-in-law was "constantly in my space" because she was sharing his wife's "expensive" products, such as face wash, shampoo and lotion, and sitting on their bed.

 

"It is very unhygienic to me and I don't like that she was sitting on the bed that me and my wife share, as I am a very private person," the user wrote. "She also rummaged through our suitcase looking for a hair tie, and it really irked me that she did so without asking me. I don't like the thought of her looking through our stuff when we're gone, so I locked it."

 

The moment that the user called his "final straw" was when he realized that his mother-in-law had been using his and his wife's toothpaste, which he claimed made him feel "ill."

 

"I don't like the thought of her putting her tooth brush close to (or even on) the toothpaste nozzle...," he continued. "I asked [my] MIL if the only reason she came was to freeload off of me and my wife, as she didn't pay for any of the expenses (hotel, amenities, food), only her own plane tickets. I said that I've asked her politely several times to stop using my wife's stuff, especially because I share it with her and it's very inappropriate."

 

According to the user, his mother-in-law told his wife about the incident, and she, in turn, screamed at him. At the time, he noted, he felt "very angry" because he paid for the trip "with MY OWN MONEY" and it was now "ruined."

 

"I changed the date of my plane ticket and went straight home. My wife has called me several times afterwards, screaming at me and saying that our daughter is upset," he finished the post, noting that his wife had her own bank card and could pay for herself to either get home or stay in Italy. He also added that he had been ignoring his wife's calls "to take some time for my own mental health."

 

"I feel bad that our daughter was caught in the situation, but it was really not acceptable what my MIL did and I had to set some boundaries before it gets worse," he finished.

 

The "AITA" community immediately declared that this user was, indeed, "the a------," arguing that he wasn't clear about what he wanted from both his mother-in-law and his wife, and that he had unrealistic expectations for cleanliness.

 

"Wow," one commenter wrote in the replies, "Your wife books the wrong hotel room so your solution is to abandon her on her dream vacation, forcing her to care for your high-maintenance kindergartener on her own? Couldn’t you have booked a separate room for your MIL instead of abandoning your wife and child?"

 

Another chimed in that some of the husband's grievances "are just wild,"

 

"Sharing toothpaste gives him cooties? And MIL sitting on the bed is bad because it's unhygienic? Why does [he] even care that MIL is sharing wife's face wash, shampoo etc."

 

Another user argued in the post's replies that the husband's communication skills left something to be desired, and that ignoring his wife's phone calls was harming their relationship, not saving his mental health.

 

"You are actively harming your marriage by continuing to ignore her calls. All of this happened because you couldn't communicate like an adult (how hard is it to say 'let's go buy another toothpaste so you don't have to use ours' for example?) and now you're doing the opposite of damage control by avoiding her on purpose and claiming that it's for your mental health." the commenter wrote.

 

After the post gained traction on Reddit, receiving over 650 replies and more than 800 upvotes, the original poster wrote out a reply to his critics, thanking them for the advice and noting that he "realized my mistakes."

 

"I'm taking tonight to write a sincere apology and I will be calling my wife first thing in the morning tomorrow. Thank you again," he finished. "I love her more than anything and I want to make amends."