THE ANGLO BOER WAR 1899 – 1902
A very brief summary of the Battles in and around
KIMBERLEY
(Refer also to rough sketch map included)
By Lt Col E.D. DEMPSTER SJ JCD
The South Africa of today (2010) was in those days comprised of the British Crown Colonies of the Cape of Good Hope and Natal and the Boer Republics of the Orange Free State and the South African Republic (Transvaal). Years of problems over a multitude of matters led to the eventual Transvaal declaration of War on the British on 11th October 1899. The Republican Forces then advanced against Natal which become known as the E front of the war and against the Cape where operations were known as the W and Central fronts. This summary deals only with the relevant Battles on the W front.
Prior to the war the British had established military camps along the boundaries of the Free State with the main concentration some 120 km S of KIMBERLEY at Orange River Station on the main road and the existing rail link from the Cape. The Boers had prepared as well and at that stage had some 6,000 burghers available to stop any British advance from the Orange River by these Transvaal burghers. Some 5,000 Free State burghers had also concentrated in the W of the Free State and could also assist in stopping any British advances to the N.
By 14th October 1899 Kimberley was surrounded by Boer forces as was Mafeking to the N and Ladysmith in Natal. These sieges were destined for worldwide news.
By the 17th October the Free State forces had occupied features at Belmont Station only 32 km N from the Orange River. The British mobilised troops already in the Cape and some that had recently arrived in Cape Town and Lt Gen Lord Methuen and the 1st Division were ordered to relieve Kimberley. He arrived at Orange River on 12th November and on the 21st commenced his advance on Kimberley. Almost immediately contact was made with Gen Prinsloo’s forces deployed near Belmont Station and on 23rd November a fairly fierce Battle ensued where after Prinsloo withdrew N to a position between Graspan and Enslin rail stations. Some figures quoted but which are generally extremely difficult to confirm in this War give British casualties at Belmont at 54 killed and 240 wounded whilst the Boer Forces suffered some 80 killed and 70 were taken prisoners of War. Thus ended the Battle for Belmont.
In the interim the Transvaal’s Gen de la Rey had also arrived in the Graspan/Enslin area with some 1,000 Transvaal burghers. It is estimated that at this stage the opposing forces strengths committed to the campaigns were roughly now 4,000 on the Boer side and some 10,000, both combatant and non combatant, on the British side and of which some 1,000 were mounted troops.
On 25th November the obvious next Battle as the British advanced took place at a hilly feature between Graspan and Enslin and, as at Belmont, after very heavy fighting the Boers again withdrew to the No. The British Forces had sustained unexpected heavy casualties and much more that the Boers.
The Boer Forces withdrawal now stopped some 40 km S of Kimberley on the banks of the Modder and Riet Rivers which converged together from the E at Modder River Station and which also straddled from E to W the main rail and road to Kimberley. Changing the previous Boer delaying tactics of defending the high ground of hilly features, Gen de la Rey now used the S side of the river beds as a natural trench warfare defence system as his next obstacle to the British advance. Boer Forces were also further strengthened, Gen Cronje had arrived with more Transvaal burghers, and he now took overall command of the Boer Forces.
In the meantime Kimberley, which was rather defenceless and only some 10 km from the Free State Border, had assembled a garrison of roughly 4,500 men, commanded by Lt Col Kekewich a British regular from the Loyal N Lancashire Regiment, consisting of only 600 regulars, 800 volunteer soldiers from the Kimberley Regiment and other units with the rest being some 3,000 Town Guards. Being a major diamond mining and market town it was well stocked with food and some very ingenious scientific and engineering personalities. The relief of Kimberley was also vital for British morale. Cecil Rhodes was, of course, also confined to Kimberley for the duration of the siege. On the 28th November at first light Lord Metheun advanced on Modder River. The Guards Brigade (Colvile) was to attack the Boers left flank but came under heavy fire and had to dig in where they mainly remained until night-fall. The British 9th Brigade (Pole-Carew) was to advance with its axis being the rail line. However as the river was approached the Boers opened up with massive rifle firepower on the British infantry with disastrous results for them. Realising that the Boer lines also extended to the W of the train line, the 9th Brigade deployed some units there and eventually some made the vital gain of occupying portions of the N bank of the river. At 16h00 Lord Methuen was wounded and Colvile assumed command of the Division. By first light on the 29th November the whole of the 9th Brigade had crossed the river to the W and the British artillery now shelled the Modder River Village. It was later found however that the Boers had again withdrawn N and E during the night. British victory once again, but expensive as casualties were given at 71 killed and 389 wounded with the Boers at some 50 killed and an unknown number wounded. Metheun’s wound was not serious and he later resumed command of his Division. Although known universally as the Battle of Modder River, as the Riet River was S of the convergence point with the Modder River and then remained the Riet to the W, it should more probably have been named the Battle of Riet River.
At a Boer conference on the 29th it was eventually agreed the next defensive position would be on the Magersfontein range of hills some 9 km N of Modder River and which, although only some 50 m high, dominated the area to the S as far as could be seen in all directions. The rail and road routes also diverged from being together at Modder River to the road now being some 6 km E of the rail line at Magersfontein. The dominant and highest hill on the Magersfontein range was in centre of the Boer positions which stretched NW some 8 km and SE as far as the Modder River itself, although their various positions were definitely not continuous. Gens de la Rey and Cronje had differences regarding the siting of the defences with the former aware of the initial “trench” success at Modder River as opposed to the “high ground” defences at Graspan and Belmont which Cronje preferred. However, during a visit by President Steyn of the Free State, de la Rey’s plans were agreed upon and accepted by Cronje and the Boer Commandos prepared the trenches at the foot of the hills with much vigour. The total Boer Forces that Cronje now had available to him had grown to some 8,500 men.
The British Forces in the meanwhile lost much momentum, also due to administrative and logistical reasons such as the need to rest the troops, bring up reinforcements and equipment from the Cape and attend to the problem of the Boer destroyed bridge over the Modder River. Methuen now had available 4 main Brigades in the Guards, Highland, 9th and one Mounted, and, together with his artillery and other support units, his Force now totalled some 12,000 men.
The beleaguered Forces in Kimberley had held the Town so far, even later manufacturing their own artillery piece in the now famous “Long Cecil” capable of launching a shell of 30 pounds to 10,000 yards, had arranged patrols to capture much needed cattle for rations, did active sorties against the Boers at Dronfield Ridge and Carters ridge where Lt Col Scott Turner was unfortunately killed. The Boer Commandos however made no real attempt to capture Kimberley. By 10th December they had also got a message through to Methuen at Modder River that the Town could survive for a least another 40 days which was some good news for Methuen as his ultimate objective still remained relieving Kimberley.
Lord Methuen, after considering all the facts available to him, decided upon (i) a night advance from Modder River in mass down a central route allowing time for deployment before first light and followed by a dawn attack by his Highland Brigade under Gen Wauchope on 11th December from near the foot of the Magersfontein ridge, (ii) The Brigade under Pole-Carew was to create a diversion to the W along the rail line and to be in position by 16h00 on the 10th, (iii) the Guards Brigade under Colvile was the reserve element and moved to a rendezvous area SE of Magersfontein. All three Brigades had available artillery support.
The Boer Forces were shelled on the evening of the 10 the and therefore fully alerted to an imminent attack. The Commandos from both the Transvaal and the Free State were deployed along the whole length of their line and were in no doubt in a “stand to” situation.
Then followed for the British Forces a series of problems which have, some controversial, been debated ever since such as, a possible late step-off at the start line, navigation problems, a possible faulty magnetic compass, a heavy rain storm and dark cloudy conditions, etc., the net effect of which was that the central (Highland) Brigade was not in the right planned position to attack at the right time and when initially fired upon at the very first sign of first light from some 300 – 400 m distance most troops were still in mass formation and not yet properly deployed. This made the troops, in instances, unable to return fire. Some chaos reigned and with light improving attempts was made to charge but maximum Boer fire to the front forced them back. A later attempt to storm Magersfontein from the E was also successfully repulsed. Gen Wauchope of the Highland Brigade was also killed in the very early part of the Battle.
Colvile’s Brigade deployed to the SE and, getting onto a rise, were also fired on by the Boers and were so occupied all day but their losses were small. Pole-Carew’s Brigade deployed on the W along the rail line as a diversionary task did not succeed in drawing any Boers away from the central front.
By midday, with the British Forces pinned down and virtually unable to move without drawing further intense rifle fire, confusion arose when an order for a rifle Company to move position spread as being an order for a total withdrawal resulting in the Boers causing the worst British casualties of the day. A partial disorderly daylight withdrawal eventually ensued but the Boers did not use this great opportunity to inflict massive further damage to the British Forces. By midday the next day, the 12th all British troops on the Battlefield had been withdrawn. Casualty figures quoted were 948 all ranks of the British killed wounded or captured and the Boers 273 killed and wounded.
The news of the British defeat at Magersfontein, and another at the same time on the E Front of the War in Natal, was a shock for people all over the British Empire. Methuen regrouped his Forces at Modder River whilst Cronje also strengthened his position on the Magersfontein line. However, with time, retribution for this British calamity was to come.
The British Cabinet had to do something and on 23rd December appointed Field Marshall Lord Roberts as Commander in Chief. With the build up of troops at Modder River and much replenishment done he decided to outflank Cronje at Magersfontein via the E using Gen French’s Cavalry Division supported by the infantry. The infantry would hold the various drifts on the Riet and Modder Rivers and be in place between Cronje and Bloemfontein whilst the Cavalry would dash through to Kimberley. The operation began to deploy on 10th February 1900. Cronje was under the impression that Roberts was now targeting Bloemfontein.
With many skirmishes along the way the final scene was set by the 15th as planned and at 18h00 French arrived in Kimberley thus ending the Siege.
All Cronje’s logistical and other lines to both Bloemfontein and the Transvaal were now cut by the British infantry to the E and French’s Cavalry to the N in Kimberley.
Cronje who had unsuccessfully sent Gen de Wet out to the E to delay any possible British advances was now in reality forced to abandon Magersfontein and attempt to move to Bloemfontein. Roberts meanwhile got a message through to French in Kimberley to head his Cavalry E of Paardeberg to cut off any Cronje movement in that direction. Cronje appeared at that stage not too perturbed, and, although having lost many wagons, and being handicapped with some women and children with his Forces, he still believed the area E of him was fairly clear of his enemy but he was also unaware that French had by then already left Kimberley with his Force.
Cronje’s main body passed Paardeberg Drift on the Modder River and arrived at Vendusie Drift about 07h00 on 17th February. Later on British artillery fired on them creating some havoc at the Drift and shocked Cronje and, by 18h00 with more British troops arriving, Cronje started digging defences around his wagons. He had hoped that assistance would arrive from Gen de Wet but unfortunately no help came while a ring of British Forces was slowly closing in on him. The British had two obvious options in either slowly shelling his force to surrender or attack it immediately. At the same time numerous smaller skirmishes were taking place all over that general area. On the 19th Gen Cronje requested a temporary armistice to bury his dead which Lord Roberts refused, and the question of him surrendering was misunderstood through messages on both sides, and Roberts recommenced the shelling of Cronje’s laager. By 21st February French’s cavalry forced Gen de Wet’s Forces to retreat to the E. Conditions in Cronje’s laager became desperate and eventually on the 27th the white flag of surrender was raised.
The Battle for Paardeberg over the period 18th to 27th February, and the largest single battle of the Anglo Boer War, cost the British 239 killed and 1,085 wounded whilst Cronje surrendered together with over 4,000 men.
What is pertinent to understand is that up to this stage of the AB War, actions were basically classified as conventional War with slow moving infantry and artillery formations, whereas after Paardeberg with the defeat of the Republican Army, the remaining Boer Forces split into numerous roving and mainly mounted groups and conducted a long unconventional or guerrilla type war.
Mafeking was relieved on 17th May 1900 and the Transvaal capital Pretoria captured on 5th June 1900 but it took until the 31st May 1902 before the “Peace of Vereeniging” was signed to end the Anglo Boer War.
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NOTES
1. Literally hundreds of books and study papers have been published covering most aspects of this War, and from all political sides, some greatly and accurately informative, some highly controversial and emotive.
2. Dates and casualty figures quoted have been sourced mainly from pamphlets by George Duxberry and published by the SA National Museum of Military History in Johannesburg.
3. Ms Fiona Barbour MA (Cantab), well known historian on aspects of the Anglo Boer War, gracefully also provided some answers to certain aspects.
4. For the serious student of Military Warfare, the Battles in and around Kimberley provide a unique and closely concentrated opportunity, especially for senior and staff officers, to study in great detail all the phases of War viz., the advance to contact, the attack, the night attack, the defence and the withdrawal, and of course the acknowledged principles that should apply to each of those individual phases. Many rights and wrongs will be discovered from which to learn.
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ELABERATING/ADDISIONAL NOTES ON ABOVE PAPER NOTES AND CONTACTS
This information below is for overseas friends who do not know the history and terminology of South Africa
RUN UP TO THE WAR
One of the biggest reasons for the 1st and 2nd “boere-wars” was the British imperial expansionism. The 1st was in 1881 and was short, the Boers won that war. This paper is about the 2nd Anglo-Boer-war, 1899, 1902. This was mainly about above mentioned reason, as well as the discovering of diamonds, 1867, there abouts, the start of the diamond rush resulting in the establishing of Kimberley as industrial centre at that time. The discovering of gold in 1886, sparked the gold rush, Johannesburg sprung up like anything and enormous wealth was at steak.
Cecil John Rhodes, a wealthy British mining owner, was the drive behind the English imperial expantion, and he was in continues opposition with Paul Kruger, the President of the “Zuide Afrikaanche Republiek”, the Transvaal. Eventually the situation sparked off the war. The ZAR, joined with the “Republiek van die Oranje Vrystaat”, took up arms against the mighty Great Brittan.
(“Zuid Afrikaanche Republiek”, English, freely translated, “South African Republic”, Transvaal)
(“Republiek van die Oranje Vrystaat”, English, “Republic of the Orange Freestate”. Orange refers to the “House of Orange”, in the Netherlands, not colour).
TERMINOLAGY USED IN PAPER
Burghers:
A term used for citizens, a Burgher is single, Burghers, plural. In this paper also troops/men, etc.
Boere, Boors, etc:
A Proper noun for the Dutch/Afrikaans white people, proudly used by Afrikaans people, but many times a “word to curse, an abusive word”. To be Boorish was seen by the English as the “stupid, illiterate, common etc” people. Even today many people uses this word in the negative.
Boer with a capital B, single form, Proper noun, refers to the Afrikaner nation, plural form in Afrikaans, Boere, some English spell it Boors. Boer, with a small b, is a farmer in English, plural is also boere, in Afrikaans you pronounce the oe as oo, like moon, a short oo.
Rietriver:
Riet, in English, reed, the things that grows on river embankments.
Modder river:
Modder, English, mud.
Graspan:
Gras, obvious Grass in English, pan: a largish pool of water, not to small in surface, but not deep, knee deep or a little deeper.
Fontein, as in Magersfontein, English, fountain
Paardeberg:
In English literally, the Mountain of Horses.
CONTACT NUMBERS OF INSTATUTIONS AND PEOPLE
SA MEUSEUM OF MILITARY HISTORY, JOHANNESBURG
Telephone number : 011/6465513
Website : www.militarymuseum.co.za
Contact person : Dorothy Kemp
E-mail address : milmus@icon.co.za
WAR MUSEUM BLOEMFONTEIN
Telephone number : 051/4473447
Contact person : Elria Wessels
E-mail address : ewessels@anglo-boer.co.za
MCGREGOR MUSEUM KIMBERLEY
Telephone number : 053/8392700-2714
Website : www.museumsnc.co.za
Contact person : Mr C. Fortune
E-mail address : cfortune@museumsnc.co.za
CONTACT DETAIL OF LT COL ELIOT DEMPSTER AT SA LEGION KIMBERLEY
Telephone number : 053/8325871
Contact person : Mrs Ross Erasmus (leave message
For col Dempster)
E-mail address : salegion@inext.co.za
Fax number : 053/8325871
CONTACT DETAIL OF FIONA BARBOUR (HISTORIAN)
Cellphone number : 0782720444
(she will take text msgs)
It is advised that you contact the two experts on this paper, Lt Col Eliot Dempster and Miss Fiona Barbour.
All these contact places and people will be able to give you an overview on the whole Anglo-Boere war. If they cannot help you in person, they will refer you to someone that will be able to help.
Remember, if you want to phone to South Africa, phone 0027, SA’s international code. Then phone the number, dropping the first 0 of the number.
PROMINENT FIGURES IN THE 2ND ANGLO-BOERE-WAR
On the side of the Boers:
Political leaders, President Paul Kruger, President of the ZAR, Transvaal
President M.T. Steyn, President of the Orange Free State
Military leaders, Gen Christian De Wet, a guerrilla warfare expert, so is said
Gen Koos De La Rey
Gen Piet Cronje, the man that surrendered at Paardeberg with about 4000 men on 27 Feb 1900. Many of these people were send to the island of St. Helena, together with Cronje, St. Helena, the same place where Napoleon Bonaparte was send to exile, till his death in 1821
Gen Louis Botha, was active on the east front in Natal
Spiritual prominent leader, J.D. Kestell
An English lady, that had much sympathy with the Boere, Emily Hobhouse
On the side of the English
Lord Alfred Milner, British High Commissioner, for Southern Africa
Field Marshall Lord Roberts commander in chief of British forces
Lord Kitchener, he had much to do with the policy of the sc “scortshed fields, burning down the farms, killing the lifestock, of the Boere soldiers and the consentration camps where Afrikaner women and children were put in”. The reason for doing these most cruel things, was to break the morale of the Boere, and so to end the war sooner than later.
I have just heard recently that more than 27500 woman and children died in these consentration camps, between 1900-1902, that was a figure excluding the black people who were also put in these camps. With them added, the figure amounts to over 50 thousand.
There was also a book published with these names of the Prisoners of War in it. The book is called, “Banneling in die vreemde”, in English, more or less, “in exile in the unknown”. (English edition available, but no English title).
The names of the men who were send away as Prisoners of War, to amongst others, Ceylon, Sri Lanca today, and St. Helena, mentioned earlier, was read out over one of the local radio stations a while ago. 32000 Boere soldiers, More or less was send to these places, some of them died there too.
Lord Methuen, a British military commander, a good story is the one of the “battle of Tweebosch, 7 March 1902”, where Methuen was seriously wounded, but was released by Gen De La Rey
Maj Gen French
Cecil John Rhodes, a person who certainly should be more “recognized and honoured” if you are pro-British. His continues drive for the expansion of the “British Empire” lead to many things, amongst others this Anglo-Boere war. The two provinces, South and Northern Rhodesia, was named after Rhodes, South Rhodesia, today Zimbabwe, Northern Rhodesia, today Zambia, was Rhodes’s idea to build the kingdom of Brittan and so to bring the ZAR to it’s knees.
IN CLOSING
At the end of the war the peace treaty of Vereeniging was signed on 31 May 1902, on the same date, in 1910, SA became a Union, consisting of the Cape of Good Hope, (British Colony), Natal, also a British Colony, the two former Boere Republics, the ZAR, (Transvaal), and the Orange Freestate. On 31 May 1961 SA became a Republic and that lasted until 1994 when the first sc “free and fair elections was held on 27 April 1994, black and brown and Indian people could then vote for the first time. Nelson Mandela was chosen as the first President of the new dispensation in witch all people of our country were treated as “free citisans”, no discrimination against colour etc.
The frequently zany scribblings of a well-rounded man with passionate opinions. Hey, it's better than "Something I put up because I needed to rant before my head exploded."
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS
The Yellow Rose Of Texas: I like a fair amount of Mitch Miller’s stuff, but why did he feel the need to yell everything?
Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing: I find this song boring.
Sixteen Tons: This song is so perfect; a workingman’s anthem.
Memories Are Made Of This: They don’t write ‘em like that anymore!
Rock And Roll Waltz: I like this song. You can so vividly imagine the scene: back in the fifties, a teenager comes home from her date to find her parents, who probably grew up on the music of the big bands or maybe even the music of the 1920s “dancing a waltz to a slow rock song.” I mean, you can just so picture “let’s listen to Kay’s record machine. I’m kind of curious to see what this rock and roll music fad the kids are all on about is like.”
Heartbreak Hotel: Elvis sucks. Did nobody ever tell this bastard he couldn’t sing? Buck, he sounds like he has his mouth closed.
Elvis was allowed to get famous by the illuminati because they wanted to see if one person could influence the whole United States.
The Wayward Wind: This song is also boring.
Houndog: The purpose of this song was to degrade our ladies. Young women used to have class. Houndog was a portent of what the new world order was going to do to them: turn them into bitches like they are today.
Party Doll: I always thought Ricky Nelson did this song first.
By the way, I am using the 2003 edition of “The Billboard Book Of Number One Hits.” Buddy Knox died in 1999, yet the book indicates he was still alive at the time it was published. Guy Mitchell, who is featured a few pages earlier with “Singin’ The Blues” also died in 1999 but is marked down in the book as still being alive. Why did the author and publisher not bother to update this information?
Round And Round: I find this song annoying.
Love Letters In The Sand: Pat Boone was allowed to get famous in order to make rock and roll acceptable to a white audience.
Teddy Bear: This is probably one of the worst of Elvis’s songs. It doesn’t help that I associate it with Uncle Jesse singing it to one of the kids on “Fullhouse.”
Diana: Holy buck! This song really is about Anka being in love with a babysitter!
That’ll Be The Day: Hearing about Buddy Holly always reminds me of that Kids In The Hall sketch about the day the music died. “I recorded Peggy Sue. I can do anything.” “I’m 22. I got my whole life ahead of me.” “I think I’ll let this monkey fly the plane.” And when he calls Richie Valance a spick. Priceless!
I suspect Buddy Holly and co. were murdered. The Don Maclean song alludes to this, but I really haven’t studied into it.
Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing: I find this song boring.
Sixteen Tons: This song is so perfect; a workingman’s anthem.
Memories Are Made Of This: They don’t write ‘em like that anymore!
Rock And Roll Waltz: I like this song. You can so vividly imagine the scene: back in the fifties, a teenager comes home from her date to find her parents, who probably grew up on the music of the big bands or maybe even the music of the 1920s “dancing a waltz to a slow rock song.” I mean, you can just so picture “let’s listen to Kay’s record machine. I’m kind of curious to see what this rock and roll music fad the kids are all on about is like.”
Heartbreak Hotel: Elvis sucks. Did nobody ever tell this bastard he couldn’t sing? Buck, he sounds like he has his mouth closed.
Elvis was allowed to get famous by the illuminati because they wanted to see if one person could influence the whole United States.
The Wayward Wind: This song is also boring.
Houndog: The purpose of this song was to degrade our ladies. Young women used to have class. Houndog was a portent of what the new world order was going to do to them: turn them into bitches like they are today.
Party Doll: I always thought Ricky Nelson did this song first.
By the way, I am using the 2003 edition of “The Billboard Book Of Number One Hits.” Buddy Knox died in 1999, yet the book indicates he was still alive at the time it was published. Guy Mitchell, who is featured a few pages earlier with “Singin’ The Blues” also died in 1999 but is marked down in the book as still being alive. Why did the author and publisher not bother to update this information?
Round And Round: I find this song annoying.
Love Letters In The Sand: Pat Boone was allowed to get famous in order to make rock and roll acceptable to a white audience.
Teddy Bear: This is probably one of the worst of Elvis’s songs. It doesn’t help that I associate it with Uncle Jesse singing it to one of the kids on “Fullhouse.”
Diana: Holy buck! This song really is about Anka being in love with a babysitter!
That’ll Be The Day: Hearing about Buddy Holly always reminds me of that Kids In The Hall sketch about the day the music died. “I recorded Peggy Sue. I can do anything.” “I’m 22. I got my whole life ahead of me.” “I think I’ll let this monkey fly the plane.” And when he calls Richie Valance a spick. Priceless!
I suspect Buddy Holly and co. were murdered. The Don Maclean song alludes to this, but I really haven’t studied into it.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
REPLY AWL
The November issue of Prima Baby has an article on baby massage. We were taught baby massage in parenting class at school using dolls. I found it to be a very fulfilling and soothing experience.
The December issue of Chatalaine has an article about people who have quit Facebook. Reasons cited included anxiety about people not answering invitations quickly enough and finding out things about friends via Facebook that should have been told over the phone. Another reason to quit Facebook is it is a CIA front. One of the men who gave Mark Zuckerberg the start-up capitol for Facebook previously worked for another CIA front company as well as a data mining company.
In the same issue, Heather O'Niel, the author of "Lullabies For Little Criminals" writes about her dad. He is a habitual liar and has a bad temper. In my opinion, he should be committed.
The same issue of Chatalaine has an exerpt from Steve Martin's new novel, "An Object Of Beauty." Naturally, it is quite funny.
The December issue of Chatalaine has an article about people who have quit Facebook. Reasons cited included anxiety about people not answering invitations quickly enough and finding out things about friends via Facebook that should have been told over the phone. Another reason to quit Facebook is it is a CIA front. One of the men who gave Mark Zuckerberg the start-up capitol for Facebook previously worked for another CIA front company as well as a data mining company.
In the same issue, Heather O'Niel, the author of "Lullabies For Little Criminals" writes about her dad. He is a habitual liar and has a bad temper. In my opinion, he should be committed.
The same issue of Chatalaine has an exerpt from Steve Martin's new novel, "An Object Of Beauty." Naturally, it is quite funny.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
10 MOST BIZARRE CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS OF ALL TIME
We've all got to make money somehow, and no one's proud of every job they've had, even celebrities. When the cash runs out, we tend to get a little creative
with finding ways to
earn a living
, even endorsing products or ideas we'd never normally use, or admit to using. Below is a list of 10 of the most bizarre celebrity endorsements and promotions,
from a spa-loving reality star touting toilet paper to a model's so-called healthy candy line. They might want us to forget, but there's no way we can
let these go.
list of 10 items
1. Mr. T: Flavor Wave Oven Turbo
: After a career as a professional wrestler and actor, Mr. T tried to get kids to stay in school,
played Santa Claus
to Nancy Reagan at the White House one year, and has appeared in a number of commercials, endorsing all kinds of goods. The weirdest? When Mr. T hosted
his own infomerical plugging the Flavor Wave Oven Turbo, "an amazing invention" that prepares low-fat meals without a lot of mess in the kitchen.
2. James Dean: Safe Driving PSA
: Even after just a few films, actor James Dean became an American icon, known for his moody but charming swagger, youthful carelessness, and remarkable
talent. He died in a car crash after speeding down U.S. Route 66 in California on his way to a car race. But in this PSA, he counsels the public on safe
driving, saying that he's finished speeding. "I find myself being very cautious on the highway," he says. "I don't have the urge to speed on the highway."
When asked to give advice to any young people watching, Dean looks directly at the camera and jokes, "Take it easy driving. The life you might save might
be mine," before chuckling and walking off set. He was dead within months.
3. Joe Perry: Fiery Foods and Barbecue
: Aerosmith's Joe Perry is known as a rock musician through and through, and also a barbecue enthusiast. He's collaborated with Fiery-Foods.com and appeared
on the cover of the January/February 2004 issue of Fiery Foods & BBQ Magazine. The connection started when a Fiery Foods exhibitor whipped up a special
sauce in honor of Perry, and asked the Aerosmith star to come up with a competition for fans who could vie for a chance to win autographed bottles.
4. Randy Savage Slim Jim
: Those Slim Jim commercials from the mid-to-late 1990s starring professional wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage are so over the top, they helped earn him
a Harvard Lampoon Man of the Year award from Harvard's humor society. "I always like to keep my favorite snack handy," he growls in a spooky Halloween
voice, before snapping into his Slim Jim.
5. Heidi Klum: Fruit Flirtations candy
: While Heidi Klum was passed over for runway gigs during the heroin chic 90s, she's still become one of the most successful models in the world, in terms
of net worth and personal branding. But the Project Runway host proved that she must not take herself too seriously when she launched a fruit candy, marketed
as being healthy simply because it was low-fat. Packed with sugar and carbs, the candy — called Heidi's Fruit Flirtations — came packaged in a bag that
had a semi-creepy image of Heidi's face emblazoned on it.
6. Kim Kardashian: Charmin toilet paper
: The Kardashian family — while entertaining to watch on shows like E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians — have pretty much sold themselves to the PR devil.
They'll promote almost anything, appear at any event, and cheese themselves up in front of the camera all for a few extra bucks and 15 minutes of fame.
But Kim Kardashian took the promotions to the next level when she agreed to promote Charmin toilet paper, actually posing between people wearing Charmin
bear mascot suits at the Times Square "5th Annual Charmin Restrooms Ribbon Cutting Ceremony." The pampered star is always seen in full makeup and hair,
dressed in stylish — if not a little flashy — outfits, making us wonder why she was so ready to endorse a sign that read "Enjoy the Go" in front of a public
restroom in the middle of New York City.
7. Young Joc: Rap Snacks
: Heidi isn't the only star who's released her own line of snack foods. The rapper "Yung Joc" has his own website promoting his Rap Snacks, a crunchy bunch
of Honey Dew Cheese Curls that costs $9.99 for a bag. Yung Joc poses with a scowl on his face, but the line of text under the picture is what's so confusing.
"Reading is fundamental," is a message Yung Joc must have wanted to communicate to his hungry fans as they licked their Honey Dew-flavored fingers.
8. Mikhail Gorbachev: Louis Vuitton
: When Louis Vuitton cast some big-name — and non-fashion — faces in its 2007 luggage campaigns, anyone flipping through a magazine might have been surprised
to see Mikhail Gorbachev fronting an ad for the LV-patterned bags. But after the initial shock, a few media outlets took a closer look at the reading material
peeking out of Gorbachev's Louis Vuitton bag as he is photographed in the back of a car driving past the Berlin Wall. Translated from Russian, the title
of the book or magazine is "Litvinenko's Murder — They Wanted to Give Up a Suspect for $7,000." It's an indirect jab at Vladimir Putin, who was rumored
to have assassinated Litvinenko, a former Russian spy who was killed after eating laced sushi. We've got to ask the same question nymag.com wanted to know:
"is Gorby sending the world secret messages through luggage ads?"
9. Pope Leo XIII: Coca Wine
: At first glance, you might shrug your shoulders at a pope's 1900 endorsement of wine. After all, Catholics drink a lot of wine, and popes haven't always
had the brightest, most ethical reputation throughout world history. But this wine is different, and the world became addicted to it during the turn of
the twentieth century. The seeming addiction probably resulted from the fact that Coca Wine was actually made with cocaine, mixed with ethyl alcohol. The
combination is said to enhance the experience of just doing cocaine, and people around the world went wild for it. Pope Leo XIII even gave Angelo Mariani
— the creator of Coca Wine — an official gold medal from the Vatican and appeared in an ad for the drink, which was also taken to cure illnesses.
10. Antonio Banderas: Nasonex
: Who would have thought that sexy Spaniard Antonio Banderas would also pull off playing a cute little allergy bee? He's been the voice behind the Nasonex
bee for years now, buzzing through flowers and other allergy triggers while listing the benefits and side effects of the nasal spray in his famous accent.
list end
To see the site this list came from, as well as the ads themselves, click the link above.
with finding ways to
earn a living
, even endorsing products or ideas we'd never normally use, or admit to using. Below is a list of 10 of the most bizarre celebrity endorsements and promotions,
from a spa-loving reality star touting toilet paper to a model's so-called healthy candy line. They might want us to forget, but there's no way we can
let these go.
list of 10 items
1. Mr. T: Flavor Wave Oven Turbo
: After a career as a professional wrestler and actor, Mr. T tried to get kids to stay in school,
played Santa Claus
to Nancy Reagan at the White House one year, and has appeared in a number of commercials, endorsing all kinds of goods. The weirdest? When Mr. T hosted
his own infomerical plugging the Flavor Wave Oven Turbo, "an amazing invention" that prepares low-fat meals without a lot of mess in the kitchen.
2. James Dean: Safe Driving PSA
: Even after just a few films, actor James Dean became an American icon, known for his moody but charming swagger, youthful carelessness, and remarkable
talent. He died in a car crash after speeding down U.S. Route 66 in California on his way to a car race. But in this PSA, he counsels the public on safe
driving, saying that he's finished speeding. "I find myself being very cautious on the highway," he says. "I don't have the urge to speed on the highway."
When asked to give advice to any young people watching, Dean looks directly at the camera and jokes, "Take it easy driving. The life you might save might
be mine," before chuckling and walking off set. He was dead within months.
3. Joe Perry: Fiery Foods and Barbecue
: Aerosmith's Joe Perry is known as a rock musician through and through, and also a barbecue enthusiast. He's collaborated with Fiery-Foods.com and appeared
on the cover of the January/February 2004 issue of Fiery Foods & BBQ Magazine. The connection started when a Fiery Foods exhibitor whipped up a special
sauce in honor of Perry, and asked the Aerosmith star to come up with a competition for fans who could vie for a chance to win autographed bottles.
4. Randy Savage Slim Jim
: Those Slim Jim commercials from the mid-to-late 1990s starring professional wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage are so over the top, they helped earn him
a Harvard Lampoon Man of the Year award from Harvard's humor society. "I always like to keep my favorite snack handy," he growls in a spooky Halloween
voice, before snapping into his Slim Jim.
5. Heidi Klum: Fruit Flirtations candy
: While Heidi Klum was passed over for runway gigs during the heroin chic 90s, she's still become one of the most successful models in the world, in terms
of net worth and personal branding. But the Project Runway host proved that she must not take herself too seriously when she launched a fruit candy, marketed
as being healthy simply because it was low-fat. Packed with sugar and carbs, the candy — called Heidi's Fruit Flirtations — came packaged in a bag that
had a semi-creepy image of Heidi's face emblazoned on it.
6. Kim Kardashian: Charmin toilet paper
: The Kardashian family — while entertaining to watch on shows like E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians — have pretty much sold themselves to the PR devil.
They'll promote almost anything, appear at any event, and cheese themselves up in front of the camera all for a few extra bucks and 15 minutes of fame.
But Kim Kardashian took the promotions to the next level when she agreed to promote Charmin toilet paper, actually posing between people wearing Charmin
bear mascot suits at the Times Square "5th Annual Charmin Restrooms Ribbon Cutting Ceremony." The pampered star is always seen in full makeup and hair,
dressed in stylish — if not a little flashy — outfits, making us wonder why she was so ready to endorse a sign that read "Enjoy the Go" in front of a public
restroom in the middle of New York City.
7. Young Joc: Rap Snacks
: Heidi isn't the only star who's released her own line of snack foods. The rapper "Yung Joc" has his own website promoting his Rap Snacks, a crunchy bunch
of Honey Dew Cheese Curls that costs $9.99 for a bag. Yung Joc poses with a scowl on his face, but the line of text under the picture is what's so confusing.
"Reading is fundamental," is a message Yung Joc must have wanted to communicate to his hungry fans as they licked their Honey Dew-flavored fingers.
8. Mikhail Gorbachev: Louis Vuitton
: When Louis Vuitton cast some big-name — and non-fashion — faces in its 2007 luggage campaigns, anyone flipping through a magazine might have been surprised
to see Mikhail Gorbachev fronting an ad for the LV-patterned bags. But after the initial shock, a few media outlets took a closer look at the reading material
peeking out of Gorbachev's Louis Vuitton bag as he is photographed in the back of a car driving past the Berlin Wall. Translated from Russian, the title
of the book or magazine is "Litvinenko's Murder — They Wanted to Give Up a Suspect for $7,000." It's an indirect jab at Vladimir Putin, who was rumored
to have assassinated Litvinenko, a former Russian spy who was killed after eating laced sushi. We've got to ask the same question nymag.com wanted to know:
"is Gorby sending the world secret messages through luggage ads?"
9. Pope Leo XIII: Coca Wine
: At first glance, you might shrug your shoulders at a pope's 1900 endorsement of wine. After all, Catholics drink a lot of wine, and popes haven't always
had the brightest, most ethical reputation throughout world history. But this wine is different, and the world became addicted to it during the turn of
the twentieth century. The seeming addiction probably resulted from the fact that Coca Wine was actually made with cocaine, mixed with ethyl alcohol. The
combination is said to enhance the experience of just doing cocaine, and people around the world went wild for it. Pope Leo XIII even gave Angelo Mariani
— the creator of Coca Wine — an official gold medal from the Vatican and appeared in an ad for the drink, which was also taken to cure illnesses.
10. Antonio Banderas: Nasonex
: Who would have thought that sexy Spaniard Antonio Banderas would also pull off playing a cute little allergy bee? He's been the voice behind the Nasonex
bee for years now, buzzing through flowers and other allergy triggers while listing the benefits and side effects of the nasal spray in his famous accent.
list end
To see the site this list came from, as well as the ads themselves, click the link above.
Monday, January 3, 2011
REPLY AWL
The October issue of Canadian Geographic has an article it labels "Speculative Nonfiction." Which is it: fiction or nonfiction? This reminds me of a comment James Frei made a few years back about how in the future, books will be partially fiction and partially true.
In the Winter 2010-2011 Travel issue of Canadian Geographic, former host of Cbc's "Global Village" Jowie Taylor lists the top ten winter music festivals. It's kind of strange to think about music festivals taking place in places like Panama and the United Arab Emirates.
In the November issue of Chatalaine, readers answered the question "What would you do if you had an extra hour everyday?" Truthfully, if you had an extra hour everyday, you'd just think, "Oh, I have an extra hour. I'll do something I really want to do later." and just fill your time up with more obligations.
In the Winter 2010-2011 Travel issue of Canadian Geographic, former host of Cbc's "Global Village" Jowie Taylor lists the top ten winter music festivals. It's kind of strange to think about music festivals taking place in places like Panama and the United Arab Emirates.
In the November issue of Chatalaine, readers answered the question "What would you do if you had an extra hour everyday?" Truthfully, if you had an extra hour everyday, you'd just think, "Oh, I have an extra hour. I'll do something I really want to do later." and just fill your time up with more obligations.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
MESSIANIC JUDAISM IS NOT CHRISTIANITY
This post is directed to the few of you Jews who are descended from Abraham and not from the nephilem.
You have heard of and probably know people who have become messianic Jews or Jews For Jesus as they are sometimes referred. Perhaps you fit into this category yourself. Whichever category you belong to, I just want to tell you that messianic Judaism isn't Christianity.
In John 3, Jesus told Nicodemus, a pharisee, one of your ancestors who was a big wheel in the Jewish community back then, that he had to be born again. In other words, he had to stop doing things his way and start doing them Jesus's way. Nicodemus couldn't do this by just resolving that he was going to live according to what Jesus said. If he did this, he would be acting solely under his own power and he would fail. No, in order to be born again, Nicodemus had to repent. Repentance is what everyone, Jew and non-Jew must do in order to have salvation in Jesus Christ. You turn to God and ask for forgiveness for the bad things you've done. You let Him guide your life, instead of you exclusively trying to control things.
You say you believe that Jesus is the messiah? Good. Changing your mind about Jesus is what repentance is about and is what the original Greek word translated in English as repent means. However, a true change of mind is accompanied in change of action, attitude, etc.
Now, here is what you must do. You must ask God to forgive you of your sins and tell him you want His will to be done in your life. After that, you must be baptized, immersed in water. This is the other necessary part of having your sins taken away after repentance. In repentance, you die to yourself. In baptism, you are buried with Him as Romans says and you resurrect out of the water a new creature.
I can not urge strongly enough any Jews who sincerely believe that Jesus is the messiah to take these final steps. Don't delay, lest the devil snatch the idea from your heart.
You have heard of and probably know people who have become messianic Jews or Jews For Jesus as they are sometimes referred. Perhaps you fit into this category yourself. Whichever category you belong to, I just want to tell you that messianic Judaism isn't Christianity.
In John 3, Jesus told Nicodemus, a pharisee, one of your ancestors who was a big wheel in the Jewish community back then, that he had to be born again. In other words, he had to stop doing things his way and start doing them Jesus's way. Nicodemus couldn't do this by just resolving that he was going to live according to what Jesus said. If he did this, he would be acting solely under his own power and he would fail. No, in order to be born again, Nicodemus had to repent. Repentance is what everyone, Jew and non-Jew must do in order to have salvation in Jesus Christ. You turn to God and ask for forgiveness for the bad things you've done. You let Him guide your life, instead of you exclusively trying to control things.
You say you believe that Jesus is the messiah? Good. Changing your mind about Jesus is what repentance is about and is what the original Greek word translated in English as repent means. However, a true change of mind is accompanied in change of action, attitude, etc.
Now, here is what you must do. You must ask God to forgive you of your sins and tell him you want His will to be done in your life. After that, you must be baptized, immersed in water. This is the other necessary part of having your sins taken away after repentance. In repentance, you die to yourself. In baptism, you are buried with Him as Romans says and you resurrect out of the water a new creature.
I can not urge strongly enough any Jews who sincerely believe that Jesus is the messiah to take these final steps. Don't delay, lest the devil snatch the idea from your heart.
100 OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST MYSTERIES
By E. Randall Floyd. Augusta, Ga: Harbor House, 2000.
This commentary is not meant to be a criticism of E. Randall Floyd or “100 Of The World’s Greatest Mysteries.” I agree with the position Floyd takes in the foreword to this book, namely that we don’t know everything and lots of things, like the subjects discussed here, are still worth investigating. I am merely stating my beliefs on some of the topics the author discusses.
The Fires Of Heaven: There is no way the big bang theory can be true. Nothing exploded and created everything?
The Bantu creation story says that one day their god got sick and vomited up all living things. Some of the people were white. How could this story have included white people when the Bantu didn’t even know about white people until a few centuries ago?
The Apache say the earth was created because a little child needed a home. How could a child fend for herself all alone on the earth?
Death Of The Dinosaurs: The dinosaurs never actually became extinct. There have been reports of taridactiles in the swamps of Africa, as well as many lizard-like creatures. Kent Hovind has a lot of good information on this topic, as does Bill Gibbins, the dinosaur hunter.
Twilight Of Nianderthall: According to Kent Hovind, a lot of the skeletons of early humans were homo sapions with diseases.
Doomsday Stars: I don’t think an object from space will hit the earth and bring an ultimate end to all life. The book of Revelation talks about burning stars falling from Heaven during the tribulation period. These could either be asteroids or nuclear devices. I think they are more likely nuclear devices.
Kent Hovind also thinks a meteor striking the earth was part of the flood.
Adam And Eve In The New World: I don’t know if Adam and Eve specifically visited the New World, nor do I know exactly how the Indians got here (probably by crossing the Berring Strait as most people believe.) However, there is evidence that Europeans were in North America as many as 3500-4000 years ago. For a good exposition of this topic, see “America B.C.” by Barry Fell.
The Pharaoh’s Curse: A lot of people connected to the excavation of King Tut’s tomb have met with bad ends. When Tutankhamen put the curse on the tomb, he would have invoked the Egyptian gods, in reality demons of Satan. Supernatural powers have a big influence in our world, even if some people think they don’t.
Beneath The Lair Of The Svinx: The riddle of the svinx has always had a melancholy aspect to it for me. A man starts out walking on four legs, then walks on half that many legs, but then ends up walking on one and a half times the number he was using before. People start out as helpless babies, become independent and, unfortunately, sometimes end their lives like helpless babies.
A Dark And Cruel Past: God did not tell the Israelites to sacrifice their children. When He speaks about dedicating and consecrating children to Him, He is merely talking about performing a special ceremony. What about all the passages where God condemns people for sacrificing their children? It wasn’t just the Carthagineans who practiced child sacrifice regularly: most ancient pagan cultures did.
Stonehenge Decoded: I’m not sure who built Stonehenge or what every one of it’s uses were, but it was definitely used as a calendar and a temple. We know of this because of experiments conducted at Stonehenge on the winter solstice.
In This Sign Shalt Thou Conquer: Constantene never totally converted to Christianity. Of course he still continued to worship Mythrus. The Catholic church continues to worship Mythrus to this day.
The Romans couldn’t destroy Christianity by feeding Christians to the lions, but they did a pretty good job (though of course they didn’t entirely succeed) when Constantene gave Christianity the same status as all other legitimate religions. He built official buildings for the Christians to worship in, decorated their facades and put fountains in front of them. Baptism was eliminated, and it eventually got so all you had to do to become a Christian was to join a church. Christians became almost indistinguishable from everybody else.
Star Crossed Voyagers: Extraterrestrial creatures-either aliens or demons-must have visited the Dogan tribe. How else to explain their astronomical knowledge when other Africans are so profoundly ignorant about everything?
The Crystal Skull Of Doom: Crystal skulls seem Satanic and occultish to me.
Viracocha The Magnificent Stranger: Jesus didn’t visit Columbia. Viracocha can not be Jesus. Viracocha destroyed a hostile village with fire; Jesus told his disciples that if a town did not accept them, they should leave that town, even shaking the dust off their shoes.
The Once And Future King: King Arthur probably existed. He was probably a good king whose history got mixed up with a whole bunch of myth.
Bigfoot And His Hairy Kin: Sasquatches must exist. There’ve been too many sightings in too many places for them not to be real.
Monsters Of The Deep: Though many sea monsters are clearly made up, there’s good cryptozological evidence that there are creatures inhabiting the seas and lakes of this planet.
Winged Terrors: A lot of those large birds were probably taridactiles.
Here There Be Dragons: Similarly, a lot of the legends about dragons probably sprang from true stories about dinosaurs.
Nosferatu: Curse Of The Undead: There may be living vampires who suck blood. I heard a caller on Coast To Coast once whose story made me wonder.
There are also demonic creatures that appear like humans who are vampiric in nature. They suck energy from people and leave human beings feeling weary and discouraged.
Shape Shifters And Werecreatures: The idea that people can transform into other things is ungodly. God created creatures as what they were.
Amelia Earhart’s Ride Into Oblivion: Most likely Amelia Earhart crashed into the sea and drowned.
D.B. Cooper, Where Are You?: Dan Cooper didn’t harm anyone … apart from skyjacking an airplane!
Toward The Light: A lot of near-death experiences can be explained by a natural occurrence which takes place in the brain. Others cqan be explained by demons.
Dance Of The Dopelganger: I don’t know if everyone in the world has an exact look-alike. People of other races all look alike to me. Plus, there are only a certain number of types of faces to go around.
“If This Is Dying, It Ain’t So Bad”: I have heard of a few experiences where people have escaped death. For example, a guy in our church once fell off the back of a truck and landed on his head. When he wqas examined at the hospital, he was found to have absolutely no damage.
Angels In Blue And Gray: I have heard of other Civil War sites being haunted.
The President From Beyond The Grave: If some ghosts are the spirits of people who have been murdered, than it seems possible that Lincoln’s ghost haunts the White House.
That reminds me of a joke:
One night, Barack Obama is visited by the ghost of George Washington. Obama asks Washington’s ghost, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Washington replies, “Be a shining example of a leader like I was.” The next night, Obama is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. He again asks, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Jefferson replies, “Cut taxes.” The next night, Obama is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. He asks Lincoln, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Lincoln replies, “Go see a play.”
Symphonic Spirits: I think Schumann was possessed by demons.
Flying Saucer Mania: I believe aliens exist. However, I don’t think they’re going to invade. They probably just visit here every so often to observe us. People have been seeing UFOs for thousands of years. If aliens were going to invade, they would have done it before now.
It’s also pretty hard to believe they continually abduct people to perform the same experiments over and over again.
There is a definite occult belief out there that aliens will come down and solve all our problems. I knew someone who believed this. When I heard her talk about it or I hear people on “Coast To Coast” talk about how aliens are coming soon to usher in a better world, I just think about how bucking ridiculous it sounds. Also, a Nazi scientist said that those who run the world were going to use communism, nationalism, terrorism, and aliens to advance the new world order.
Let us not forget Ronald Reagan’s speech about how all humanity’s problems would seem small if we were invaded by creatures from outer space.
Circles Of The Gods: Crop circles could be an optical illusion.
Piltdown Man: I would not have wanted to be a schoolteacher who was a Christian at the time the Piltdown Man hoax was going around. How horrible it must have been to be a Christian science teacher back then. You can be assured that, unless they repented, the teachers who taught children Piltdown Man was real and definite proof of evolution are burning in hell.
Flat Earthers: Here’s an experiment these flat earthers should try. Charter a plane in, let’s say, Vancouver. Then fly across the Pacific, across Asia, across Europe, across the Atlantic, then across North America and back to Vancouver. If the earth were flat, you couldn’t do that.
Christians have always known the Earth is round. The book of Isaiah talks about “the circle of the earth.”
Search For Noah’s Ark: Noah’s ark might be in Turkey where they found that piece of gopher wood years ago.
Shroud Of Turin: The Shroud of Turin can’t be the burial cloth of Jesus. The shroud has the impressions of a beard pressed into it, and the Bible says they plucked Jesus’s beard. Also, if there were a burial cloth with the blood of Jesus on it, that would mean someone could clone Jesus. God would not let that happen.
The Devil’s Triangle: There haven’t been any ships or planes lost in the Bermuda Triangle since the 1950’s and those that were lost before that time were lost for other reasons.
The Lindberg Tragedy: Charles Lindberg’s son was kidnapped by the Jews to teach Lindberg a lesson about criticizing them. When he continued to criticize them after the kidnapping, they probably said to him, “Look, we kidnapped your firstborn child, we can kidnap your second.”
Not Even God Can Sink This Mighty Ship: The Titanic wasn’t built properly. The rudder was too small to turn the ship around.
Nostradomis: The prophecies of Nostradomis are too vague to make any sense out of.
The Spear Of Destiny: The Roman soldier didn’t kill Jesus; he was already dead. The soldier just poked the spear into his side.
This commentary is not meant to be a criticism of E. Randall Floyd or “100 Of The World’s Greatest Mysteries.” I agree with the position Floyd takes in the foreword to this book, namely that we don’t know everything and lots of things, like the subjects discussed here, are still worth investigating. I am merely stating my beliefs on some of the topics the author discusses.
The Fires Of Heaven: There is no way the big bang theory can be true. Nothing exploded and created everything?
The Bantu creation story says that one day their god got sick and vomited up all living things. Some of the people were white. How could this story have included white people when the Bantu didn’t even know about white people until a few centuries ago?
The Apache say the earth was created because a little child needed a home. How could a child fend for herself all alone on the earth?
Death Of The Dinosaurs: The dinosaurs never actually became extinct. There have been reports of taridactiles in the swamps of Africa, as well as many lizard-like creatures. Kent Hovind has a lot of good information on this topic, as does Bill Gibbins, the dinosaur hunter.
Twilight Of Nianderthall: According to Kent Hovind, a lot of the skeletons of early humans were homo sapions with diseases.
Doomsday Stars: I don’t think an object from space will hit the earth and bring an ultimate end to all life. The book of Revelation talks about burning stars falling from Heaven during the tribulation period. These could either be asteroids or nuclear devices. I think they are more likely nuclear devices.
Kent Hovind also thinks a meteor striking the earth was part of the flood.
Adam And Eve In The New World: I don’t know if Adam and Eve specifically visited the New World, nor do I know exactly how the Indians got here (probably by crossing the Berring Strait as most people believe.) However, there is evidence that Europeans were in North America as many as 3500-4000 years ago. For a good exposition of this topic, see “America B.C.” by Barry Fell.
The Pharaoh’s Curse: A lot of people connected to the excavation of King Tut’s tomb have met with bad ends. When Tutankhamen put the curse on the tomb, he would have invoked the Egyptian gods, in reality demons of Satan. Supernatural powers have a big influence in our world, even if some people think they don’t.
Beneath The Lair Of The Svinx: The riddle of the svinx has always had a melancholy aspect to it for me. A man starts out walking on four legs, then walks on half that many legs, but then ends up walking on one and a half times the number he was using before. People start out as helpless babies, become independent and, unfortunately, sometimes end their lives like helpless babies.
A Dark And Cruel Past: God did not tell the Israelites to sacrifice their children. When He speaks about dedicating and consecrating children to Him, He is merely talking about performing a special ceremony. What about all the passages where God condemns people for sacrificing their children? It wasn’t just the Carthagineans who practiced child sacrifice regularly: most ancient pagan cultures did.
Stonehenge Decoded: I’m not sure who built Stonehenge or what every one of it’s uses were, but it was definitely used as a calendar and a temple. We know of this because of experiments conducted at Stonehenge on the winter solstice.
In This Sign Shalt Thou Conquer: Constantene never totally converted to Christianity. Of course he still continued to worship Mythrus. The Catholic church continues to worship Mythrus to this day.
The Romans couldn’t destroy Christianity by feeding Christians to the lions, but they did a pretty good job (though of course they didn’t entirely succeed) when Constantene gave Christianity the same status as all other legitimate religions. He built official buildings for the Christians to worship in, decorated their facades and put fountains in front of them. Baptism was eliminated, and it eventually got so all you had to do to become a Christian was to join a church. Christians became almost indistinguishable from everybody else.
Star Crossed Voyagers: Extraterrestrial creatures-either aliens or demons-must have visited the Dogan tribe. How else to explain their astronomical knowledge when other Africans are so profoundly ignorant about everything?
The Crystal Skull Of Doom: Crystal skulls seem Satanic and occultish to me.
Viracocha The Magnificent Stranger: Jesus didn’t visit Columbia. Viracocha can not be Jesus. Viracocha destroyed a hostile village with fire; Jesus told his disciples that if a town did not accept them, they should leave that town, even shaking the dust off their shoes.
The Once And Future King: King Arthur probably existed. He was probably a good king whose history got mixed up with a whole bunch of myth.
Bigfoot And His Hairy Kin: Sasquatches must exist. There’ve been too many sightings in too many places for them not to be real.
Monsters Of The Deep: Though many sea monsters are clearly made up, there’s good cryptozological evidence that there are creatures inhabiting the seas and lakes of this planet.
Winged Terrors: A lot of those large birds were probably taridactiles.
Here There Be Dragons: Similarly, a lot of the legends about dragons probably sprang from true stories about dinosaurs.
Nosferatu: Curse Of The Undead: There may be living vampires who suck blood. I heard a caller on Coast To Coast once whose story made me wonder.
There are also demonic creatures that appear like humans who are vampiric in nature. They suck energy from people and leave human beings feeling weary and discouraged.
Shape Shifters And Werecreatures: The idea that people can transform into other things is ungodly. God created creatures as what they were.
Amelia Earhart’s Ride Into Oblivion: Most likely Amelia Earhart crashed into the sea and drowned.
D.B. Cooper, Where Are You?: Dan Cooper didn’t harm anyone … apart from skyjacking an airplane!
Toward The Light: A lot of near-death experiences can be explained by a natural occurrence which takes place in the brain. Others cqan be explained by demons.
Dance Of The Dopelganger: I don’t know if everyone in the world has an exact look-alike. People of other races all look alike to me. Plus, there are only a certain number of types of faces to go around.
“If This Is Dying, It Ain’t So Bad”: I have heard of a few experiences where people have escaped death. For example, a guy in our church once fell off the back of a truck and landed on his head. When he wqas examined at the hospital, he was found to have absolutely no damage.
Angels In Blue And Gray: I have heard of other Civil War sites being haunted.
The President From Beyond The Grave: If some ghosts are the spirits of people who have been murdered, than it seems possible that Lincoln’s ghost haunts the White House.
That reminds me of a joke:
One night, Barack Obama is visited by the ghost of George Washington. Obama asks Washington’s ghost, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Washington replies, “Be a shining example of a leader like I was.” The next night, Obama is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. He again asks, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Jefferson replies, “Cut taxes.” The next night, Obama is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. He asks Lincoln, “What’s the best thing I can do for my country?” Lincoln replies, “Go see a play.”
Symphonic Spirits: I think Schumann was possessed by demons.
Flying Saucer Mania: I believe aliens exist. However, I don’t think they’re going to invade. They probably just visit here every so often to observe us. People have been seeing UFOs for thousands of years. If aliens were going to invade, they would have done it before now.
It’s also pretty hard to believe they continually abduct people to perform the same experiments over and over again.
There is a definite occult belief out there that aliens will come down and solve all our problems. I knew someone who believed this. When I heard her talk about it or I hear people on “Coast To Coast” talk about how aliens are coming soon to usher in a better world, I just think about how bucking ridiculous it sounds. Also, a Nazi scientist said that those who run the world were going to use communism, nationalism, terrorism, and aliens to advance the new world order.
Let us not forget Ronald Reagan’s speech about how all humanity’s problems would seem small if we were invaded by creatures from outer space.
Circles Of The Gods: Crop circles could be an optical illusion.
Piltdown Man: I would not have wanted to be a schoolteacher who was a Christian at the time the Piltdown Man hoax was going around. How horrible it must have been to be a Christian science teacher back then. You can be assured that, unless they repented, the teachers who taught children Piltdown Man was real and definite proof of evolution are burning in hell.
Flat Earthers: Here’s an experiment these flat earthers should try. Charter a plane in, let’s say, Vancouver. Then fly across the Pacific, across Asia, across Europe, across the Atlantic, then across North America and back to Vancouver. If the earth were flat, you couldn’t do that.
Christians have always known the Earth is round. The book of Isaiah talks about “the circle of the earth.”
Search For Noah’s Ark: Noah’s ark might be in Turkey where they found that piece of gopher wood years ago.
Shroud Of Turin: The Shroud of Turin can’t be the burial cloth of Jesus. The shroud has the impressions of a beard pressed into it, and the Bible says they plucked Jesus’s beard. Also, if there were a burial cloth with the blood of Jesus on it, that would mean someone could clone Jesus. God would not let that happen.
The Devil’s Triangle: There haven’t been any ships or planes lost in the Bermuda Triangle since the 1950’s and those that were lost before that time were lost for other reasons.
The Lindberg Tragedy: Charles Lindberg’s son was kidnapped by the Jews to teach Lindberg a lesson about criticizing them. When he continued to criticize them after the kidnapping, they probably said to him, “Look, we kidnapped your firstborn child, we can kidnap your second.”
Not Even God Can Sink This Mighty Ship: The Titanic wasn’t built properly. The rudder was too small to turn the ship around.
Nostradomis: The prophecies of Nostradomis are too vague to make any sense out of.
The Spear Of Destiny: The Roman soldier didn’t kill Jesus; he was already dead. The soldier just poked the spear into his side.
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