TEN CRIMES YOU CAN BE EXECUTED FOR IN TEXAS

Babylon Bee

 

10 Crimes You Can Be Executed For In Texas

Crime

Apr 13, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

 

The strong arm of the law works a little differently in the Lone Star State, where asking for mild salsa is grounds for arrest (and for a good whuppin'). Here are ten crimes that you can actually be executed for in the great State of Texas:

 

Forgetting The Alamo: Straight to the electric chair.

 

Saying "you all" instead of "y'all": Texans don't take kindly to such commie nonsense.

 

Stopping for gas anywhere other than Buc-ee's: The legal definition in Texas of criminal insanity.

 

Owning a vehicle with no truck bed and no dog in truck bed: Also, if the dog is one of those small, yappy dogs.

 

Driving carefully in the rain: Right to death row.

 

Failing to bow your head when a George Strait song comes on the radio: Show some respect!

 

Saying, "No thanks, I don't feel like tacos tonight": Firing squad, immediately.

 

Forgetting the lyrics to "Deep In The Heart Of Texas": No trial necessary.

 

Refusing to acknowledge the superiority of Whataburger over all other fine-dining establishments: No Michelin chef can compete with a Double Meat Whataburger with cheese!

 

Messing with Texas: You can't say you weren't warned.

 

There you have it - the law of the land in the greatest state/nation on earth. God bless Texas!