TODDLER WITH FULL DIAPER AND INCOHERENT SPEECH GOES AS JOE BIDEN FOR HALLOWEEN

Babylon Bee

 

Toddler With Full Diaper And Incoherent Speech Goes As Joe Biden For Halloween

LIFE

Oct 31, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

 

BROOKSIDE, OK - Well, isn't this just the most adorable and 100% accurate Halloween costume we've ever seen: little Oliver Burnswax, just 18 months old, is dressed up as Joe Biden for Satan's favorite holiday.

 

With a dress shirt, overcoat, and tie, along with a cute little American flag pin, Burnswax is the spitting image and exact smell of Joe Biden, sources on the Burnswax's street confirmed Sunday evening.

 

His parents said they got the idea when he messed his diaper just a few minutes before trick-or-treating started this evening. "And then, when he said one of his nonsensical baby babbles about who knows what, we realized it was just the absolute perfect outfit," said his mother. "Isn't that right, little Ollie?"

 

"Candy? Ice cweam? Poop?" the little Oliver responded. "Poopy in pants? Trunalimunumaprzure?"

 

"See?" his mom cooed. "He's just so perfect for the part! That made more sense than the last seven speeches I've heard the president give."

 

The Burnswax's neighbors loved his costume, though some thought it was the actual Joe Biden and slammed the door in his face, thinking he was there to monitor their bank transactions over $600 or jab them with a needle. But once they got the joke and had gotten over their fright, they all had a good-natured laugh over the classic costume.

 

At publishing time, Burnswax had said his first full sentence, "Wet's go, Bwandon."

 

HAUNTED HOUSE WHERE THEY RIP HUMANS LIMB FROM LIMB ACTUALLY AN ABORTION CLINIC

Babylon Bee

 

Terrifying Haunted House Where They Rip Humans Limb From Limb Actually Just A Planned Parenthood

WORLDVIEWS

Oct 31, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

 

NEW YORK, NY — Halloween revelers were shocked this week after a new haunted house that had gained strong notoriety for featuring human bodies being ripped limb from limb turned out to simply be a Planned Parenthood clinic.

 

"Totally not what we thought it was," said haunted house aficionado Cliff Martin. "We heard there was this medical-themed haunted house that had really horrific scenes that would scar your psyche and hang like a dark cloud over your soul for the rest of your life, so we came to check it out."

 

"What we discovered was worse. Way worse."

 

Sources say even the most desensitized visitors find themselves changed forever after witnessing the reality of what goes on in Planned Parenthood clinics. "We frequently entertain ourselves by enjoying theatrical depictions of violence and bodily dismemberment," Martin said. "This is just a whole different level. This is real, and it's really disgusting."

 

A spokesperson for the clinic said there is nothing to be up in arms about. "It's no big deal, people," said Clinic Director Karla Jenkins. "All we do is dismember human babies with saws, clamps, knives, and vacuums, and then sell their body parts to the highest bidder. Is that bad or something?"

 

At publishing time, Martin and his friends were still trying to shake the horrifying images they now had seared into their minds while questioning how any organization founded by humans could be so inhuman. 

INNOCENT

The film adaptation of the Scott Turrow novel was good, very faithful to the book.

Bill Pullman brings a warmth to Rusty the book does little to nothing to convey.

I pictured both the chief of security at the Gresham Hotel and Harnison as being older than they were portrayed onscreen. 

I like what the filmakers did with the judge character.

JESSE STONE: DEATH IN PARADISE

    Though the 2006 made-for-TV movie is a good adaptation of the Robert B. Parker book up to a point, I much prefer the way the mystery concluded in the novel. The scenes in the film of Stone in the hospital room with Simpson were a nice touch, though. I would also have preferred if the film were set near the beginning of summer like the book as well. 

FROM TRANS TO JESUS

Here's a playlist featuring the testimonies of many people who not only de-transitioned but, most importantly, came to new life in Jesus Christ. I have heard the testimonies of a couple of these brothers and sisters and look forward to the rest.  

OFF MIKE: HOW A KID FROM BASKETBALL-CRAZY INDIANA BECAME AMERICA'S NHL VOICE

By Mike "Doc" Emrick. Chicago, IL: Triumph Books, 2020.

Full of wonderful stories.

This is the autobiography of NBC's former hockey play-by-play man. Emrick takes you from his childhood in Indiana to his start in radio to his gigs with major U.S. networks. Along the way he amuses and delights with many hilarious anecdotes, and a good number of touching ones as well. Even if you're not a sports fan, you'll enjoy this book if you're a lover of great stories.

Purchase it here.

TOP TEN LOCATIONS TO TAKE A GIRL ON A FIRST DATE

Babylon Bee

Top 10 Locations To Take A Girl On A First Date

LIFE

Oct 26, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Dating is tough these days! How can you impress a woman and show her a great time? After extensive research, including talking to someone who talked to

a woman once, the woman experts at The Babylon Bee have come up with the 10 absolute greatest locations to take a girl on a first date. You're welcome.

list of 10 items

1. Costco food court:  $1.50 hotdogs, and if things go well, a walk through the store getting samples for dessert.

2. Cracker Barrel:  You can show off your impressive skills at that golf tee game.

3. A hike through the woods to search for a really cool stick:  What woman wouldn't love this?!

4. Your Lego display room:  Show her your collection. She won't be able to resist you once she sees your 7,500-piece Millennium Falcon.

5. Waffle House:  Be careful though, the waitress might call you "honey," which could make your date jealous.

6. A live-action medieval role-playing game on a soccer field:  Show her your homemade costume and your valiant strength at the same time.

7. Gamestop:  Ask her to point out her favorite games. This will let you know if she's the one.

8. Sizzler:  Maybe a little fancy for a first date, but you want to impress her.

9. Laser Tag:  Women love laser tag. Be sure to show no mercy and beat her decisively so she knows how capable you are.

10. Lord of the Rings  Extended Editions marathon:  If she falls asleep, you'll know it was never meant to be.

list end

Any one of these options is guaranteed to give your date a great time. You won't be sorry!

UK WOMAN THREATENED WITH FINE FOR PRAYING OUTSIDE ABORTION FACILITY'S BUFFER ZONE

Fox News

 

UK woman threatened with fine for praying within abortion facility's 'buffer zone:' 'Grossly Orwellian'

Isabel Vaughn-Spruce said the UK government should 'clarify' that 'thoughts can never be illegal'

By Taylor Penley Fox News

Published October 26, 2023 7:00pm EDT

 

"Are you praying for the lives of unborn children?" an officer employed by a local police department asked a woman outside an abortion facility in Birmingham, UK.

 

Footage obtained by Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF) UK captured the incident in which the West Midlands Police officer threatened to fine Isabel Vaughn-Spruce allegedly for "standing still and praying silently" within an area abortion facility's "buffer zone" earlier this month.

 

"The UK government urgently needs to clarify that silent thoughts can never be illegal – even if those thoughts are in disagreement with the views of the State," Vaughn-Spruce said.

 

Isabel Vaughan-Spruce was threatened with a fine for silently praying outside a U.K. abortion clinic. (Alliance Defending Freedom UK)

 

"This is the third time I have been treated like a criminal for peacefully, silently, and imperceptibly praying for women who are likely facing one of the worst days of their lives.

 

"The buffer zone regulation has already sought to prevent me and others from counseling women desperately in need of help. And now, authorities are trying to remove my ability even to pray for these women. To fine somebody simply for their thoughts is grossly Orwellian and an insult to the freedoms that Britain is meant to protect," she continued.

 

Video of the incident that took place on Oct. 18 shows a female officer ask Vaughn-Spruce a series of questions, beginning with, "Are you here as a part of an organized protest?"

 

"No," Vaughn-Spruce responded.

 

The officer then asked if she was a member of a pro-life or pro-choice organization to which Vaughn-Spruce responded that she was, but was not present in that capacity.

 

Among a series of subsequent questions, the officer asked if Vaughn-Spruce was aware of a Public Space Protection order in place at the location and whether she was aware that her actions breached that order.

 

Though Vaughn-Spruce responded that she was aware of the protection order, she denied her actions violated the policy and said, "I don't believe I need to," when asked if she would move elsewhere.

 

"I believe I've got a right to be here," she added.

 

The officer notified her that she would receive a fixed penalty notice for her actions.

 

Fox News Digital reached out to West Midlands Police for comment and is awaiting a response.

 

ADF UK's report of the situation said despite the questioning and receiving notice of a fine, the fine was not pursued, but Vaughn-Spruce was warned that things would be different in the future.

 

Vaughn-Spruce has been arrested before for praying outside abortion clinics in the U.K. Just last month, police dropped charges against her following a six-month investigation for praying outside a facility and issued her an apology.

 

-- 

WOMAN WHO'S GOOD AT DRIVING WONDERING IF SHE MIGHT BE TRANSGENDER

Babylon Bee

 

Woman Who’s Good At Driving Wondering If She Might Be Transgender

FAMILY

Oct 27, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

 

AMERICAN FORK, UT - Kyrsten Blyrsten, a local mom and recovering shiplap addict, reportedly began wondering if she might be transgender after she drove around town to run errands without incident.

 

Suspicions that she may actually be a man trapped in a woman's body began to well up inside her after she parked her minivan at Target without having to leave a note on the windshield of the vehicle next to her.

 

Later, according to sources, she parallel-parked perfectly the very first time, without even scuffing her car wheels on the curb. "Am I a misgendered man?" wondered Mrs. Blyrsten as she changed lanes on the interstate without checking her blindspot the usual 17 times.

 

"Have I been living a lie?" She tearfully asked herself after not leaving her turning signal on for seven miles.

 

Her concerns were put to rest, however, when she arrived home and her husband patiently pointed out the severed gas pump nozzle hanging from her gas tank.

 

-- 

THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT THE ILLEGAL USA, INC. FRAUDULENT NATION

I had heard a fair amount of the stuff in this video before.    

Be enslaved to no one but Jesus Christ, in whom true freedom is found. Acts 2 38 

RADIO-RELATED STUFF: LOCAL, CANADIAN AND AMERICAN

K-rock Kingston continues to come in really well.

I don't blame University of Ottawa students for voting to defund CHUO-FM. We are, after all, living in a time when colleges and universities have to have food pantries because students can't afford groceries and toiletries. Also, if only 7.7 percent of the student body could be bothered to turn out for the vote, that right there should tell you how effective a job CHUO is doing at serving its campus.

Is Bob Boving voicing the Progressive Insurance commercials now? 

FOOD NOTES: OCTOBER'S GASTRONOMIC DELIGHTS

    Had delicious turnovers at a fundraiser this weekend. (The entire catered meal was delicious.)

Mom made banana chocolate chip cake this weekend.

Enjoyed Mom's ham and bean soup up to a week and a half after Thanksgiving. 

EMOTIONAL ARITHMETIC

    A case of a movie that could have been as good as the book had it a Hollywood budget instead of a Canadian one. As a result, the film misses out on the flashbacks, head scenes and different perspectives of the Matt Cohen novel.

Also, I appreciated the novel being set in the Kingston area a lot more than the movie's being set in Nebraska.

Helen listens to K-96, the then country station at 96.3 FM in Kingston.

MANLY NOTES

Righty tighty lefty loosey only works if you are coming at a project from the same perspective as the guy who put it together.

Never been a fan of micro-minis, thongs and other ultra revealing clothing on girls. If you're going to dress like that why not just go around naked?

People like to rag on the New York Islanders but they were quite the winning team in their day.

Holy moley! They have a sixteen in one Retract-A-Bit screwdriver now?! 

THE COMEDIANS: DRUNKS, THIEVES, SCOUNDRELS, AND THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN COMEDY

By Kliph Nesteroff. New York: Grove Press, 2015.

One of the best reads you'll have had in a while.

The author traces the history of American comedy from the nineteenth century to the end of the twentieth. Both stand up and situational comedians are discussed and the reader learns details about household names as well as about funny people of whom they weren't previously aware.

With any book like this, of course, there are people and threads that could have been included but weren't, but this does not take away from the enjoyment and worthwhile nature of the book.

The only thing I would say against this tome is the author has a tendency to run down his subjects, except Bob Newhart, a man about whom literally no one has anything bad to say. Still a great work, though.

Purchase it here. 

MEDICAL APARTHEID: THE DARK HISTORY OF MEDICAL EXPERIMENTATION ON BLACK AMERICANS FROM COLONIAL TIMES TO THE PRESENT

By Hariet A. Washington. New York: Anchor, 2008.

Balanced, informative and horrifying.

The author, as she says in the subtitle, relates the history of black people being subjected to medical experiments since colonial America. Regardless of background, everyone should read this book to learn some things which need to be learnt.

One thing I really appreciated was how balanced Washington was in her overall approach.

Purchase it here.         

FACING THE OTHER WAY: THE STORY OF 4AD

By Martin Aston. London: The Friday Project, 2013.

Informative, shocking and entertaining.

Aston tells the history of the English record label that gave the world many of the indy artists of the eighties as well as Marrs "Pump up the Volume."

This book will keep you reading it and agreeing with the epigraph.

Purchase it here. 

DON'T TELL THE NEWFOUNDLANDERS: THE TRUE STORY OF NEWFOUNDLAND'S CONFEDERATION WITH CANADA

By Greg Malone. Toronto: Knopf Canada, 2012.

Anyone who thinks we live in a democracy needs to read this book.

The CODCO alum tells a story passed onto him by a trusted acquaintance about how the campaign that led to Newfoundland joining Canadian confederation was staged and how the people of Newfoundland were manipulated into joining our country. Malone also fills in the history of the decades previous to the push for confederation.

Purchase it here. 

SOUNDS LIKE LONDON: 100 YEARS OF MUSIC IN THE CAPITAL

By Lloyd Bradley. London: Serpent's Tail, 2013.

It's got music, it's got culture, it's got history.

Starting with calypso, Lloyd Bradley charts the history of black music in London, making the people behind the genres and the scenes featuring them come alive.

This introduced me to several musical styles of which I had not previously heard.

Purchase it here. 

THE FIX IS IN: THE SHOWBIZ MANIPULATIONS OF THE NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, AND NASCAR

    By Brian Tuohy. Port Townsend, WA: Feral House, 2010.

Does what any good book of this type should do.

The author introduces the idea to some, and expresses the idea of others, that professional sports are fixed, discussing incidents in the histories of all the leagues mentioned in the subtitle.

Though Tuohy does not provide much, if anything in the way of solid proof for what he says, he makes the reader question what they thought they knew and that, as stated above, is what a good book like this should accomplish.

Purchase it here. 

EXPECTING BETTER: WHY THE CONVENTIONAL PREGNANCY WISDOM IS WRONG AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW

        By Emily Oster. New York: Penguin Books, 2014.

A book that looks at what the public is told logically, for a change.

The author discusses different pieces of advice given to pregnant women by the medical community and amplified by the media, using logic and statistics to examine whether such advice is sound.

Though I do not agree with her conclusions about homebirth, every other topic in the book resonated with me as far as seeming logical the way it was put.

Purchase it here.

VANISHED KINGDOMS: THE HISTORY OF HALF-FORGOTTEN EUROPE

By Norman Davies. London: Penguine, 2012.

Well-written, cerebral, gripping.

Norman Davies takes the reader to several (though not all) of the lands of Europe which no longer exist. Some of them are part of living memory, some of them you might never have heard of and some you will only register as vaguely familiar. Davies recounts the history of all his selections in a way that will keep you turning the pages and purely looking forward to the next entry. 

Be warned, though: the entry on Burgundy will literally drive you to drink.

Purchase it here.

RADIO-RELATED STUFF: CATCHES AND OBSERVATIONS FROM TONIGHT

Picked up Froggy 97 Watertown with automated country music and commercials.

Picked up Kix 93.5 Kingston with same.

Picked up Radio 95.1 Rochester with rock music including Third Eye Blind which I would not consider rock.

K-rock Kingston was actually coming in tonight for a change and with a good signal, too. Noticed they have a female staff anncr now.

RADIO-RELATED STUFF: AN UPDATE AND FRESH OBSERVATIONS

    "Newsmaker Sunday" was back this afternoon.

Are the Napanee Raiders games being broadcast remotely?

How did we get to a point in our society where listeners of The Wolf Peterborough are old enough to be in nursing homes? 

MIDWEST HAUNTED HOUSE SIMPLY DISPLAYS CURRENT GAS AND GROCERY PRICES

Babylon Bee

 

Terrifying Haunted House Just Displays Current Gas And Grocery Prices Along Dark, Creepy Hallways

U.S.

Oct 16, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

 

BELTON, MO — As the Halloween season kicks into high gear, local residents have been buzzing about the newest, most terrifying haunted house they have ever experienced. Surprising reviews claimed the attraction just displays current gasoline and grocery prices along dark, creepy hallways.

 

"It's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen," said attendee Butch Reed. "I can handle seeing ghosts and goblins and scary clowns and gory scenes with people covered in blood, but once they showed me a digital display showing regular unleaded gasoline at $9.99 per gallon, I just about lost my lunch."

 

The attraction — which has officially been named "Scariest Haunted House in America" for 2023 — made the innovative decision to forego the use of expensive costumes or special effects, opting instead to simply force people to confront their worst fears, such as the price of milk, eggs, and ground beef. "They really shouldn't be allowed to show this stuff," said Ron Simmons after he exited the building. "I saw some kids trying to sneak inside. Can you imagine the type of psychological damage seeing this horrible stuff can do to their minds? C'mon, people!"

 

Despite the controversy, the owner of the haunted house, Theodore Long, was pleased with the response. "I've been running haunted houses for years," Long said. "This is the first year we've actually had people screaming and running out in tears. It's bone-chilling stuff they see in there."

 

At publishing time, local residents were putting up signs to warn attendees of the frightening imagery they were about to see after entering the haunted house, with many people saying they were unlikely to ever feel comfortable going to a grocery store ever again. 

MEDIA-RELATED STUFF: GONE AND NEARLY GONE

"Newsmaker Sunday" wasn't on CJBQ last Sunday afternoon.

WINS was blowing away CFRB tonight.

"New Music Food Truck" is no longer on 91x Belleville.

Chucky has finally found his way to the White House. Well, Biden's practically dead anyway. 

PASTOR BILLY CRONE - THE POPE AND ONE WORLD RELIGION - IN FOCUS WITH ALISON STEINBERG - ONE AMERICA NEWS

This interview contains stuff people need to wake up to.

I do not believe in the pre-tribulation rapture. The way to be kept from the hour of tribulation within the tribulation is to be like the church at Philadelphia found in Revelation 3. 

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE CHURCHES OF CANADA

This brilliantly written post is right bang on. Glad someone is finally saying this. 

ASCENT FROM DARKNESS: HOW SATAN'S SOLDIER BECAME GOD'S WARRIOR

By Michael Leehan. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2011.

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

This is the autobiography of a man who had been a practicing Satanist for 20 years who became a Christian. 

The things that struck me most while reading this testimony were: how God had His protection on Leehan before he became a Satanist by His common grace; how there was always an influence, whether personal or through churches, of God even when Leehan was practicing Satanism; and how Leehan went through what he aptly terms a period of "spiritual doublemindedness" befroe finally becoming truly saved.

Though I was only a small s satanist before I came to Christ, Leehan's journey still took me back to my own while opening up my mind and delighting me with his simultaniously.

Purchase it here.

WOMAN SLURPS DOWN 48 OYSTERS IN VIRAL TIKTOK, CAUSING DATE TO SKIP OUT ON BILL

Fox News

 

Atlanta woman slurps down 48 oysters in viral TikTok — driving her date to ditch the tab

By Angelica Stabile Fox News

 

A woman went viral on TikTok for what some consider overindulging on a first date.

 

TikTok user EquanaB (@equanaaa) posted a video last week recounting a recent date she went on at Fontaine’s Oyster Bar in Atlanta.

 

EquanaB admitted in the video that she agreed to meet her date for a drink after he had been texting her for "weeks."

 

Since Fontaine’s has the "best oysters in Atlanta hands down," according to EquanaB, she couldn’t resist putting in a few orders of the shellfish.

 

EquanaB recorded herself slurping down a few oysters, commenting on how delicious they were.

 

"It was so good," she said in the video. "I was not expecting it to be that good."

 

Oyster tray after oyster tray, EquanaB doused the shells in lemon and hot sauce, taking down each one until she hit a total of 48.

 

"When the fourth [tray] came out, he was looking at me crazy," she said.

 

"I didn’t give a f---. I’m like, ‘Baby, you invited me out – I’m gonna eat.’"

 

EquanaB proceeded to order more food — namely, an order of crab cakes and a side of potatoes.

 

"Everything was so good," she said.

 

After the woman finished feasting, she noticed her date had gone to the bathroom without returning for 30 minutes.

 

Upon realizing he had skipped out on the bill, EquanaB paid for their tab, calling his maneuver "crazy."

 

EquanaB then texted her date, "Running out on a tab is crazyyy."

 

He replied, "I offered to take you out for drinks and you ordered all that food. I can cashapp the total for the drinks."

 

The video currently has more than five million views on TikTok, with many users reacting to the eventful recap of the date.

 

"The audacity to ask WHATS NEXT after 50 oysters is INSANE," one TikTok user Kayla McRae commented.

 

"He literally said can we meet for drinks, then you proceeded to slurp down half the ocean," wrote another user, Willie Dixon IV.

 

TikTok user @tammysimmone commented that the "slurping alone" would have made her leave.

 

"I could barely LISTEN to you slurping, so I can imagine how bad it was to actually watch it," said another user, @warriormami6792.

 

Fontaine’s Oyster Bar general manager Kelcey Flanagan told Rolling Stone last week that this type of oyster indulgence is "nothing new" for the restaurant — or the Atlanta area.

 

"I will say, it had been a minute since I had a single female eat that many," Flanagan said.

 

"But then, you know, she was eating crackers and things like that. But yeah, she put it away. It’s pretty impressive."

 

Flanagan described EquanaB as a "real pleasant" customer and said she hopes she’s not "getting too much flak."

 

"People have been roasting this poor girl," she said.

 

MEGYN KELLY CALLS OUT JVN AND BRINGS TRUTH ABOUT TRANS-GENDERS IN WOMEN'S SPORTS

    Megyn Kelly is 100% correct on this. She brings the heat in this YouTube clip!

 

Megyn Kelly Calls Out JVN And Brings Receipts on the Truth About Trans Athletes in Women's Sports - YouTube 

RVF 2024 THEME UNVEILED AND MICROGRANT

Surprises abound at the 2024 Rendez-vous de la Francophonie!

Ottawa, October 17, 2023— The Rendez-vous de la Francophonie (RVF) is back for its 26th year! Running from March 1 to 31, 2024, the RVF promotes Francophone culture across Canada!

This year’s theme: “Launch into discovery!”  

The theme promises an edition that will be both fun and brimming with great discoveries, especially since the RVFs will be carrying a festive atmosphere throughout the month of March; the French-speaking world will be having fun and having a blast all across Canada! 

In 2024, the RVF is shining a spotlight on youth as key agents of change and cultural transmission within the Francophonie and will be partnering with the Fédération de la jeunesse canadienne-française (FJCF), which is celebrating its 50th anniversary. 

As Ajà Besler, Executive Director of the Dialogue Foundation, states: “This year, we're committed on exploring, celebrating and sharing the richness of the Francophonie in all its diversity. We encourage Canadians of all backgrounds to launch into the discovery of the Francophonie, because the greatest treasures come from discovery.”

Microgrant program 

Given the overwhelming success of the program in 2023, microgrants of up to $2000 will once again be available to Francophone and bilingual community organizations across the country. 

The purpose of these grants is to support local, community and rural activities that will be part of the RVF and to promote Canada’s Francophonie to new audiences. 

Organizations have until November 17 to submit their application using the form on the RVF website.  

Monthly reveals 

Stay in the loop!

In 2024, for the first time ever, the RVF will be unveiling a key piece of its programming each month. 

The information will be revealed in the RVF’s newsletter and on its social media platforms.

About the RVF  

The RVF is one of the many cultural events celebrating International Francophonie Day. An initiative of the Dialogue Foundation, the RVF is made possible through financial support from the Government of Canada.