HOLIDAY GREETING

I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to our friends and family, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice we wish to say the following: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, non-fattening, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also Wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2025, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is not great nor necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical disability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee. Legal Disclaimer: By accepting this agreement, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit. This wish is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Sincerely, (Name withheld for legal, social and cultural considerations.) Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this message however, 

a significant number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.