7 MOST COMMON HOME DEFENSE MISTAKES (SATIRE)

Babylon Bee

 

7 Most Common Home Defense Mistakes

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Feb 22, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

 

Defending your home and family from an invader can be overwhelming and stressful for anyone. In the heat of the moment, costly mistakes are often made, leaving you open to physical or legal harm. Avoiding such mistakes can help you keep yourself and your family safe in even the most intense emergency scenarios.

 

The Babylon Bee consulted with firearms experts and ChatGPT to compile some of the most common mistakes that are made in home defense situations:

 

list of 7 items

1. Failing to put up a gun-free zone sign: Peer-reviewed studies show that 1,200% of armed robberies could be prevented if everyone put up one of these signs!

2. Thinking your 14-year-old yorkie Sargeant Pickles will protect you: He's blind in one eye and riddled with arthritis, for crying out loud!

3. Letting the criminal bend your shotgun barrel and point it at your face: This is even worse than letting the robber render your gun useless by sticking his finger in the barrel.

4. Failing to ask the intruder's pronouns before firing: The last thing you want to do is misgender the perp when you call the police.

5. Using crane style when everyone knows tiger style is better for close quarters: Choosing the wrong fighting style can really put you at a disadvantage.

6. Not having a 30-round fully-semi-automatic folding magazine clip: Those things are deadly! Just ask the experts on CNN!

7. Asking the robber to wait while you go open your gun safe, take off the trigger lock, go get your ammo that's stored in a different location, load, and aim: Extensive studies show home intruders are unwilling to accommodate this request.

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