Thursday, April 3, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO NOW ISSUING EQUITABLE SPEEDING DISCOUNTS

Not the Bee

 

Oh look, San Francisco is giving equity discounts for speeding tickets now

Cardinal Pritchard

Apr 1, 2025

 

Huge news here, everyone: People still actually live in San Francisco.

 

Oh wait, my editor is telling me that this is not the news. The news is that San Francisco has set up a bunch of "speed safety cameras" and is now handing out speeding tickets with fines - get this - based specifically on a speeder's income.

 

Yes, equitable speeding tickets!

 

Here's the scoop:

 

block quote

Violations for speeding range from $50 to $500, but individuals with a household income at or below 200% of the federal poverty level are eligible for a 50% discount, according to the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency. Indigent persons, or individuals who are homeless, are eligible for an 80% discount on the speeding ticket.

block quote end

 

This is not satire:

 

This Speed Safety System Pilot Program was signed in 2023 by - you guessed it! - Gavin Newsom. No word on whether or not he's changed his mind on the program now that he's pretending not to be a far-Left progressive so that he has a chance at the presidency in 2028.

 

There are currently 33 of these speed cameras set up in San Francisco, half of which are in use.

 

So I guess next time I'm speeding in San Francisco I'll go ahead and tell the authorities "my truth," which is that I'm a homeless man who lives in my Tesla and I can never sleep at night because people are constantly drawing swastikas on my car and trying to light it on fire.

 

That should get me a pretty decent discount!

No comments: