GORDON KORMAN SUCKS

I was somewhat a fan of Gordon Korman when I was younger but then I came to realize his books weren't that good.

The books have this tone of this teenager who thinks he knows what life is all about but doesn't really, which is fitting because Korman was a teenager when he wrote many of his most popular books.

Who Is Bugs Potter?: I'm a nerd who doesn't like rock music so I'll write a book featuring a kid who wants to be a rock star who is an arrogant moron.

Also, the idea of the European actress who was really a Jewish girl from New York City was OK, but there's a big difference, Gordon, between a French accent and a Polish accent.

I get that Frank and Barney, the burglars, were supposed to be a couple bunglers, but they shouldn't have been made as inept as they were.

Also, since Korman probably didn't have a clue how rock stars really live, the rock stars Bugs and David meet don't act like famous musicians usually do. Where are the jokes about booze, tiny cigarettes and white powder? Also, instead of making the members of Dorchester Melon upper class Englishmen (who by the way don't use any Britishisms), Korman should have made them cockney, soccer hooligan types.

Naturally, since Gordon Korman grew up in Canada, his books dismiss things like advertising. You really get this sense of this nerd determined to put down things everyone else likes such as sitcoms, movies and other things.

No Coins, Please: I still have a soft spot in my heart for this book, though. The scene with the Junior Tours director drunk on the airplane at the end is pretty good, as well as the scene where Sheldon throws the block of steal through the glass wall.

The Twinkie Squad: Neat how the weird kids got the rest of the school to sign up for the therapy group, then publicly resigned.

The Toilet Paper Tigers: Boring. Also, how did that professor understand a bloody thing his niece was saying?

Son of the Mob: Slightly funnier than a lot of Korman's other books but still naive.

Loosing Joe's Place: Rootbeer Racinette is a funny character.

A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag: Why do none of the other kids figure out that a lot of Raymond's problems are of his own making?