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Bride Offended After Cousin, Who is a Baker, Refused to Make Her a Free Wedding Cake
Instead, the cousin offered to pay $250 toward a cake made by someone else, according to a post on Reddit
By Erin Clack Published on September 24, 2024 11:06AM EDT
A person has found themselves in a sticky situation with their cousin after refusing to make her a free wedding cake.
The person detailed the dilemma in a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, starting off by explaining that they are a "hobby baker" and have "gifted cakes to family and friends before" but remain "very firm about not taking orders" as they are not looking to start a baking business.
"These gifts are typically for birthday parties and the gift receiver gives me a size and a very general idea of what they would want it to look like and I honor that in my own style and ability," they wrote.
Despite this, the baker's cousin, who is getting married soon, approached them about making her wedding cake for free as a gift.
"After a brief discussion, I confirmed that it would not be a good fit," the baker continued. "After she persisted in arguing the reasons, I switched tactics and offered to pay $250 towards her cake order placed with someone else."
The baker explained that they pinpointed that particular amount because it's "the maximum I would’ve considered spending on her gift."
This generous compromise did not go over well with the bride.
"She took a lot of offense at this, saying she can afford a cake and I was implying she approached me because she can’t," the baker wrote. "When I said I hadn’t meant anything by it but that was my budget for a gift, she said it would barely cover a deposit for the kind of cake she would want."
The baker — who titled her post, "AITA [Am I the a------] for offering cash instead of my labor for a wedding gift?" — invited fellow Redditors to weigh in on the disagreement between the cousins.
Most people sided with the baker, arguing that their cousin was being unfair and unreasonable.
"She said herself that $250 wouldn’t even cover the deposit for the kind of cake she wanted," read one comment. "She basically wants you to bake a cake that is hundreds of dollars more than what you are willing to spend on a wedding gift that we can all assume will have to be meticulously decorated based on her 'vision,' and it’s not going to be perfect to her in the end anyway."
Another person chimed in, "I think $250 towards the wedding cake is a generous offer. By her own admission, she wants you to bake some colossal $1,000+ wedding cake, with you paying for all the ingredients of course. Not to mention the labor. As a gift. Do people not realize that they alienate their friends and family when they act like atrocious bridezillas?"
While one Redditor agreed that the bride was "in the wrong" by not accepting her cousin's polite refusal to make the wedding cake, they suggested that the baker could have taken a different approach.
"In my opinion, you probably shouldn't have said you'd contribute cash to another cake. She might have asked you for financial reasons, but she also might have just wanted a cake made by a family member for sentimental reasons," they wrote. "Maybe an offer to help her select an appropriate baker would have been better."
Another commenter told the baker to brush off the awkward situation and not feel guilty over her decision to not make the cake. "NO is a complete sentence. Wedding cakes are a HUGE amount of work and if your heart isn’t into it you have nothing to feel guilty about," they wrote.
Yet another person lightheartedly recalled the scene in Father of Bride when Steve Martin's character George reacts to learning the eye-watering cost of his daughter's wedding cake from planner Franck (played by Martin Short).
"'A cake, Franck, is made of flour and water. My first car didn't cost twelve hundred dollars.' --George Banks, 'Father of the Bride,' " they wrote, quoting the 1991 movie.
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