REPLY AWL

An article in the October 31 issue of Maclean's suggests parents be more relaxed when it comes to their teenagers and sex, noting how permissive Dutch parents of teenage girls are about having boyfriends sleep over. The thing teenagers need to know about sex is it is the most intimate thing two people can do together. The media likes to portray it as this fun activity you should do with as many partners as possible, but it is actually quite a major act with serious consequences. If you have sex before you are married, you have parttaken in an act and passed a milestone that should only be done when you actually feel you know and trust the person enough to marry them. Frequently with couples who have premarital sex, there is a lot of healing that needs to be done after the actual wedding. Sure, you might not get an STD or get pregnant if you have sex before you're married, but you will leave behind a fragment of your innermost self which can never be replaced, and your sexual relations with your husband or wife will never be all they could have been.

The November issue of Readers Digest contains an article entitled "In Praise Of Sadness." The author argues that it is helthy to feel what are termed negative emotions at times. Psychologists today give us this idea that if every second of our lives isn't spent in nirvanic pleasure we're living a totally horrible existence. However, emotions such as sadness and anger are a necissary part of helping us process the world around us. For example, a psychologist will many times prescribe antidepressants to a patient who is grieving the loss of a loved one. This is ludicrous. What that patient needs is someone who'll listen to them as a way of helping to process their feelings about the fact their loved one is no longer around.

The November 7 issue of Maclean's has an article about unisex bathrooms on university campuses. Some students are grossed out by it, and Christian modesty advocates deplore the idea. These people should just relax about the whole thing. Males and females pretty much relieve themselves the same way, and as far as showers are concerned, these university students should know enough about how to respect someone's privacy. Just be mature. Go in, do your thing and leave, just like you would in a single sex washroom.

Referring back to the first item in this column (and this is only speculation on my part), maybe if there were more co-ed toilet facilities and showers, there'd be less premarital sex because there'd be less stigma about the private things the other gender does. It just strikes me that the U.S. is the most uptight country when it comes to things like sex and unisex washrooms and seeing a member of the opposite sex naked, yet they have the highest teen pregnancy rate. Maybe having unisex washrooms and change rooms would stigmatise the body less and cut down on teenager's desire to see a boy or girl naked.