ARE YOU OLD? KNOW THE SIGNS

Babylon Bee

 

Are You Old? Know The Signs

Life

Dec 11, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

 

As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, "Hey, am I old now?"

 

Here are 15 signs that you are, in fact, old:

 

You saw this article scrolling Facebook: Dead giveaway.

 

You have something in your wallet called "cash": Okay, boomer.

 

You take a minute to plan your approach before picking something up off the floor: Can't be too hasty.

 

You whisper secrets so Alexa doesn't hear you: You know they're listening!

 

You experience the sudden urge to put on a Steely Dan CD: Plus, you own CDs.

 

You have car glasses, reading glasses, work glasses, TV glasses, and regular glasses: None of which you can locate.

 

Your orthopedist named his boat after you: Subtle, but a sure sign.

 

You just checked the clock to see when you can take ibuprofen again: Nope, it's only been 13 minutes.

 

You tape little pieces of paper over your computer's camera so the hackers can't see you: Smart.

 

You think Babylon Bee headlines are real news: A classic symptom of oldness.

 

You sign all of your texts 'Love, Dad': And you think LOL means 'Lots of Love.'

 

Reeeeeee!!: Oh, that's just your tinnitus flaring up again.

 

You're on an Alaskan cruise: They're like a siren song to the old.

 

You were born in the 1930s: Pretty straightforward.

 

You got elected to Congress: Oof.

 

How many boxes did you check there, old-timer?