Friday, August 5, 2011

THE BILLBOARD BOOK OF NUMBER ONE HITS

Saturday Night: I have the album with this song. It sucks.

Convoy: This is a great song! Thank you Paul Brant for almost destroying it.

In the beginning of the episode of the Simpsons where Bart falls down the well, Homer is testing out Bart's new tape recorder. He sings "Convoy" really loudly, causing feedback and making the dog howl.

Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover: This is also a great song.

For the record, parody versions of this song exist entitled "Fifty Ways To Cleave Your Wiener" and "Fifty Ways To Kill Ben Laden."

On the Nightside several years ago, Jim Richards asked people to call in suggesting the forty-six ways to leave your lover that aren't mentioned in the song. Suggestions included "I'm gay,
Ray" and "Stab him in the leg, Peg" submitted by a teenage girl named Megan.

Let Your Love Flow: I think Pastor Peters played this song on his broadcast a few months ago.

Though many people have assigned a religious meaning to this song, I don't think it has a place being given a Christian meaning.

Welcome Back: "Welcome Back Cotter" sucks. In real life, those so-called "juvinile delinquints" would have beat up Cotter and slashed his tires daily.

For another thing, the show is just generally horrible, from the plots to the premise of having Gabe Kaplin tell a joke at the end of every show.

Buck, you could tell Kaplin and his TV wife didn't even like each other.

Silly Love Songs: "Silly Love Songs" accurately describes most of Paul McCartney's solo career.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart: The Capitol Steps did a parody of this song about George W. Bush entitled "Don't Go Faking You're Smart."

A Fifth Of Beithoven: This is actually an awesome song!

Beithoven's Fifth is the only classical piece that really mixes well with a disco beat.

Disco Duck: Rick Dees is an idiot. I especially hate the way he fawns over every artist who's currently on the chart and constantly refers to songs as "hits."

Tonight's The Night (Gonna Be All Right): I have "A Night On The Town." It sucks

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